Miranda Kerr and Ashley Greene Lead List of Uber-Hotties at Fashion Awards

Bless you, Council of Fashion Designers of America.

By way of disclaimer, everything I know about fashion comes on the advice of Lupita Li, my personal Target shopper. Everything made of cloth I have ever bought my girlfriend has been returned. I know bupkis about fashion (except that I dream of it being removed from hot women while they are shackled and oiled down before my La-Z- Boy recliner). However, I must applaud any ruse to bring together some of the hottest hotties in Hottieville for a parade of hotness, such as the Fashion Awards put on last night by the CFDA which spotlighted the sextastic of Miranda Kerr(such an effin' epic comeback), Ashley Greene (doll up like almost no other), Naomi Watts (looking very good), Amber Heard (putting the lips in lipstick lesbionics), Alessandra Ambrosio (never not super hot), Doutzen Kroes (another amazing post-baby recovery picture story), Emmanuelle Chriqui (who if we don't see nude onscreen soon, I'll be shocked), and Jessica Alba (who could be 22-months pregnant and I'd still find her awesome). I dare you not to enjoy.