Miranda Kerr simply won’t quit pimping the bras. They call them Wonderbras. Which I think is simply any bra Miranda Kerr wears. As in, I wonder if she knows every man in the world is imagining her taking it off as she steps slowly toward them and tells them she hasn’t been tickled properly in ages. Maybe that’s just me, but I bet it’s you too.
Miranda Kerr’s career has suffered little since leaving Victoria’s Secret. She hardly seems bereft of lingerie companies desperate to move their merch by way of her uber-sextastic appeals. There were rumors she was difficult to work with, which I’m not sure really are relevant to one of the world’s hottest women. So what. Say, yes, Ms. Kerr, anything you want Ms. Kerr, and you’ll be fine. I’m doing that right now just looking at her photos. If she threw her cell phone at me I’d only be more in love. Hurt me, Miranda. Starting with that Wonderbra. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Wonderbra
Miranda Kerr‘s boobs and thumper make life worth living. (The Superficial)
These outtakes of Jessica Alba as a Sin City 2 stripper are amazing. (COED)
Herminone…err…Emma Watson wears a deep cleav jumpsuit. (Huffington Post)
Taylor Swift surprises Victoria’s Secret fans with her underpants. (TMZ)
Natalie Gall rolls around nekkid on a bed. That is all. (Hollywood Tuna)
Alexandra Daddario in GQ makes me feel funny in my swimsuit area. (Popoholic)
Heidi Klum‘s butt still has it, y’all. (Drunken Stepfather)
I know now that I was born not to play baseball. It took me six different coaches across several years begging me to find a new interest and a .112 batting average before I finally got the hint. What I was born to do, well, you’re reading it everyday I hope, you loyal above average educated beautiful readers. For Miranda Kerr, I bet the path to getting to be what Mother Nature intended for her was far more simple. Nobody wants to tell a young girl someday you’ll grow up and model skimpy lingerie, but I bet some people were thinking it in tbe backs of their heads. And, voila, Miranda is simply one of the single most sextastic purveyors of bras and panties among the seven billion or so human lifeforms roaming the planet.
Pimping for Wonderbra, Miranda Kerr shows exactly why she gets paid the big bucks to make women want to buy the bras she’s wearing. If I were a woman (c’mon, shooting star, pay off, please) I’d want to look like Miranda Kerr under my clothes, over my clothes, out of my clothes, and most especially during bubble bath with a mirror on the ceiling private fun time. Especially then. Oh, Miranda, it’s not only possible you’ve gotten hotter in the past five years, it’s most certainly true. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: GSI
Miranda Kerr‘s cleavage lit up all of New York City. (The Superficial)
Tara Reid is actually looking pretty hot again. (TMZ)
Roselyn Sanchez wears a see-through outfit to the Latin Grammies. (Huffington Post)
Christina Milian‘s nip goes peek-a-boo. (Drunken Stepfather)
Paz Vega‘s cleavage is muy caliente! (Hollywood Tuna)
Lisalla Montenegro wins Instagram with this bikini pic. (Popoholic)
Greer Grammer is miss Golden Globes and I’d like to see her Golden Globes. (COED)
Here’s an idea. If you’re selling bras and panties, why not get one of the hottest women in the entire world with an outrageously hot body to make your undergarments look simply stellar? There, I just saved you an untold amount of money on marketing and advertising ideating and social influencing and brainstorming. Voila. Hot bodies equal hot bras.
Miranda Kerr has been doing might fine for herself since leaving the Victoria’s Secret stables, picking up numerous key lingerie modeling contracts because she’s simply one of the finest lingerie models in the world. Simply perfect. She’s currently putting the wonder in Wonderbra, making every bit of underwear look like it was painted on by Michelangelo, which is my porn stage name for those not in the know. I’m not business genius, but I’m a boobs and butt genius and I know Miranda Kerr is going to boost sales among women and some other kinds of boosting among men I can’t mention explicitly because this is a family friendly site. Enjoy.
I’m going to just come right out and say it. Miranda Kerr is an exceptionally good looking woman who I’d let marry me to make a baby, or seven, and then leave me to my fond memories. I’m so good with that. The uber-MILFtastic model got found by our Egotastic! radar on the pages of Glamour Russia where her lady like lovely looks shined through the colorful pages. Miranda isn’t just an attractive woman, she’s mesmerizing.
Someday, Miranda, you and I shall have five minutes alone for me to mumble something incoherently meant to express my undying passions, you will say ‘what?’ and I’ll just smile because I’ll take that as a yes. Life is so much better when you see things through your fantasy lenses. Miranda, I’m seeing you right now. Spectacular. Enjoy.