When ESPN announced that Drake would be hosting the 2014 ESPY awards, I kind of felt that pang in my stomach like, oh, know, I'm off-demo for the ESPYs. Not that I'm not a monster Drake fan, his face above my bed next to Justin and the boys from One Direction. Still, I felt old. Thankfully, the hotties on the red carpet came quickly along and made me feel young in the soul and nether regions again.
The lineup of sextastic celebrities at the ESPY's wavers from year to year, but there's always some significant highlights. Like this year, Jessica Alba, the uber-sextastic MILF who can do no wrong, and Chrissy Teigen, whose new pea-henning of her burgeoning ta-ta's has been a true delight these past few months. The duo weren't they only lovely ladies in attendance, but after they did arrive, I had to hit the cold shower for 97 minutes to get back into caring about sports mode. The ESPY's have flailed a bit, but there's nothing a solid dose of the sextastic can't make you forget about. Enjoy.
Jessica Alba Wins Comic-Con Hottest Looker (She Wins Hottest Looker Everywhere)
The uber-sextastic Jessica Alba made her way down to Comic-Con with the entire rest of Hollywood to pimp her latest project for the day. That being Sin City 2: A Dame to Die For on one of the conventions many panels where the nerds sweat feverishly in the audience while the panel takes some patsy questions that lets them pimp the shizz out of their movie and then get home before they stink of Old Spice and cheese on a stick.
Naturally, Jessica manages to look crazy lust inducing without going full bore show off like many of the costumed ladies at the same event. When in Rome, act like an aristocrat and you will stand out. And Jessica and her bare midriff and hot looks definitely make an impression. Fortunately no fan boys were injured dropping from the ceiling above her. Or, I should so, nobody cared when they were injured. Jessica, so hot. Do tease. Enjoy.
JESSICA ALBA IS INCAPABLE OF LOOKING NOT CRAZY HOT