Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba, Jennifer Lopez, and Elisabetta Canalis Highlight the Mommy Hotties at the Pumpkin Patch

Every year the sweet looking moms head to the Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch in West Hollywood to get some pumpkins for the little ones in front of as many cameras as possible. Uber-MILFtastic Jessica Alba even took her kids two days in a row, because you know, eleven hours grabbing a pumpkin when you're in kindergarten simply isn't enough. I could hardly complain about this obvious publicity gesture for every mid-October it brings out the sextastic motherly types such as Jessica, Jennifer Lopez, Elisabetta Canalis, Jaime King, and Fergie to traipse around in what they believe to be chick but functional mom wear and smile for the cameras. I kind of dig this annual tradition.

As you may know, I was touched inappropriately in a pumpkin patch as a child. It was by large bird of some kind that fought me over my choice of pumpkins as a small child. That evil flying bastard won that round, but I vowed to eat lots of winged creatures for dinner ever since that day. I like to think I got my revenge. Now, I'm able to return to the pumpkin patch without so much traumatic recollections. Albeit, a single man roaming around the pumpkin patch is pretty bad for your reputation. I try to make it work by dressing like a scarecrow. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba Tame and Sweet and Ever Hot for Redbook

I'll be the first to admit this is a rather innocent portrayal of the uber MILFtastic Jessica Alba for the ladies magazines. But I'll be the second to insist that anything Alba gets my motors running, my boat set to sea, and me figuring out how to pull down the shades with just my teeth.

Shot by James White, these rather family oriented photos of the wildly attractive Jessica Alba are simply how I imagine her looking in our virtual Sundays together in the park while everyone stops and stares and quietly mumbles, what the hell is she doing with that guy and couldn't she do better. That would make me so happy. Jessica, let's do this. I'll put on my seersucker suit. You come in a summer dress with your billions in clean baby diaper fortunes and we'll join forces in a picnic of sex and sandwiches. I'm in, you? Enjoy.

Jessica Alba Wears a White Bra Top Out in West Hollywood

I'm no fashionista, but it seems to me like Jessica Alba forgot to wear a shirt. She was spotted out and about in West Hollywood  wearing what looked a lot like a white sportsbra. Jess has what I call "Goldilocks Funbags". They aren't too big or too small but just right and they look delectable in this white bra thing. Because her shirt is missing you also get a peek at that lovely bare-midriff of her's. She's in really great shape and her stomach is nice and tight and toned. I don't know how these hot people manage to never have a stretch mark or dimple on their bodies. I guess when it's you job to be hot you concentrate on preventing all of that from occurring at all costs. Whatever she does to keep fit it's working.

I hope that her pioneering work in only wearing a bra out in public is emulated by other hottie mchottipants ladies. She deserves the Nobel prize in sexiness.

READER FINDS: Angelina Jolie Topless, Stella Maxwell Topless, Jessica Alba Bikini, and Much Much More…

 

While many in the world are preparing their storm windows for the coming apocalyptic freeze of global cooling, here in Tinsel Town we're preparing for the curse of General Santa Ana and the devilish 100+ degree temperatures in October. Nevertheless, neither flop sweat or seat sweat will deter me from my weekly duties of opening the reader email bag and smelling the sultry musky goodness within. It's like the perfume counter at Nordstroms, if everybody were mostly nekkid. That truly might be a mixed bag.

This week's Reader Finds includes Jessica Alba in her underwater bikini (many thanks to EgoReader 'Jacob'), Cristina S crazy hot and topless (muchas gracias to 'GG'), Lady Gaga flashing her thong on a Greek stage (credits galore to 'Glenn H.'), Patricia Arquette topless on the silver screen (tatas via 'Bill R.'), the delightfully skilled Sasha Grey topless in skinema (whoa hotties provided by 'Steve'), Carrie Otis topless hotness in classic throwback (delights dished by 'Ems'), Kate Hudson booty on camera (hiney exhibition thanks to 'Maribo'), Kate Upton in her cleavetastic first film role (udders provided by 'Les P.'), Katrina Law full frontal for Roman glory (kudos kindly to 'Spencer'), Vanessa Paradis in her hot and super topless days (lovely dish whipped up by 'Solomon'), Lene Nystrom topless and on top (tusen takk to 'Hector'), Alice Aufray topless modeling goodness (blessings of the boobtastic from 'Tony'), Macarena Lemos topless from down Sudamericana way (so much hotness by way of 'Tess'), Sophie Howard and Sophie Reade doubled down DD treats (oh, my oh my's from 'Lenny'), Kelly Monaco topless and wet (goodness via 'Bill P.'), Ellen Page showing a little skin (thank you kindly to 'Michael G.'), Lea Thompson almost nipple slip on DWTS (eagle eyed by 'Casey'), Angelina Jolie topless in Foxfire (Jolie jugs courtesy of 'Johnny'), and last but not least, the delicious Stella Maxwell flashing her funbags (a lovely contribution from 'Chris'). It's a bunch, but you can handle it. Enjoy.

Eva Green, Juno Temple Topless, Rosario Dawson and Jessica Alba and the Girls of Sin City 2

 

I didn't want Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For was generally considered a box office flop, and critical reviews were rather mixed on the Frank Miller sequel, I wouldn't want it to leave our visual skinematic landscape without a tribute to the lovely ladies that were the better part of the motion picture endeavor.

While Jessica Alba did not fully reveal herself, her stripping wanton ways will never go unappreciated. The MILFtastic mama gets naughtier in this film than you're likely to ever see her posing again. There's something to be said for that. Like 'hot damn'. Eva Green is ever dependable with her fine pair of puppies bared for the audience as she does in so many of her fine onscreen work. Rosario Dawson is ever hot bodied and Juno Temple adds some topless spice as well as another daring thespianic of the bold and hottie variety. You certainly can not be disappointed with the leading ladies of Sin City 2. I guarantee it will own a spot in my home library when thusly available. Enjoy.

READER FINDS: Michelle Monaghan Topless, Kate Upton Bikini Bouncy, Shailene Woodley Topless and Much Much More…

 

As I stare into the large regal purple velvet pouch that contains our Reader Finds contributions for the week, I'm thinking about how explorers like Lewis and Clark must have felt when they first laid eyes upon the Pacific Ocean. If they did. I can't remember, they saw something I know. Each week for me is like a grand discovery, rising over the hillside to the sight of some glorious celebrity skin that will blow my freaking mind and also happens to smell a little briny. I love this moment each week.

This week's Reader Finds includes Jessica Alba wicked hot and sextastic on the big screen (thank you kindly to EgoReader 'Ian'), Alyssa Arce censored and uncensored topless peeks (kudos to generous 'Andy'), Charlotte McKinney so damn hot and covered topless (blonde goodies courtesy of 'Stan the Man'), Severina Vuckovic from what I'm told is a controversial sex tape (smoking hot mamas provided by 'Denny'), Cora Keegan udderly nekkid and fine (loves me some Cora, thanks 'Doc'), Katy Perry cleavetastic delights (cockteasery via 'Angelo'), Catherine Bell in her hotness prime (delightful and lovelies from 'Steven H.'), Juliana Schalch topless on the Latin TV screen (ay carambas delivered by 'Amy Louise'), Jelena Rakocevic topless in her skinematic turn (international yams packed by 'Peter'), Elizabeth Berridge classic topless silver screens (funbags funded by 'Owen'), Audrey Tatou delightfully topless in some Frenchie flick (she really is a blessing, thanks to 'Doug G.'), Lindsay Lohan from her might much finer days in GQ (oh, the former sextastic that was Lilo, thanks 'Timothy'), Kim Kardashian cleavy madness in Details (one of her finest works ever dropped off by 'Matty'), Emily Browning quite nekkid like in Sleeping Beauty (who can sleep with so many ta's, thanks 'Deeter'), Shailene Woodley further topless shots from her new indie (cups of joy via 'Darren'), Rose Leslie bikini and lingerie fun time (a Rose by any other name, mixed in by 'Barry D.'), Michelle Monaghan topless in her recent film venture (especially nice puppies provided by 'Yaz'), another peek at Kim Kardashian, this time in lingerie (keeping up with the ta's thanks to 'Saunders'), Kate Upton antarctic bikini outtakes (floppy icy cold Upton tubes from 'Gary'), Tara Buckman topless and then some (ooh la la's gifted by 'Gina'), Nishi Munshi from her Californication reveals (oh, memories of mammaries by 'Frank'), and last, but not least, topless model hottie Eniko Mihalik who always keeps it classy (as does contributor 'Les'). It's a ton, but you can do this, I know you can. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba Hotness, Eva Green Sideboob, Rosario Dawson Cleavage Highlight the Sin City 2 Premiere

Anything Alba. You know my motto. It doesn't hurt when Jessica Alba brings along many of her hot friends like Eva Green, Rosario Dawson, and Nicky Whelan to walk the red carpet of the Sin City 2 premiere in Los Angeles.

This film is already a no-brainer on my must-see list, being both a fan of the first film in the series and, yes, the hot ladies. All of them looked so very good last night, especially Jessica Alba who forever puts sin in my jeans. That's a figure of speech, Though the day it becomes literally, I will report back with photos and diagrams and third-party authentication. Jessica moves me just about like no other. Her seamless transition from hot mommy to wicked hot glamorous star to the shower, where she forever resides in my dreams. Enjoy.