Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba See-Through Bra! Hello Jessica Alba Boobs!

By Bill Swift | May 7, 2013 @ 10:43 am

Jessica Alba Wears a See-Through Bra in NYC

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Wow, I'm not sure what possessed Jessica Alba, the uber-sextastic mother of two, to choose this particular revealing outfit for Manhattan Spring stroll, but I'm ever so glad she did. Some very nice peeks at Jessica's glorious peaks pretty much bare to the good parts. Oh, happy days.

Jessica Alba has been dressing so conservative of late I wasn't sure we'd ever see anything like this ever again. And, yes, I cried a little thinking those dark thoughts. But I turned recently to positive thoughts only. The power of positive thinking is tremendous. Though not nearly as epic as Jessica's bare mommy potatoes. Mmm. Potatoes. Enjoy.

AND WE THOUGHT BIKINI SHOTS WERE THE BEST ALBAS WE COULD HOPE FOR

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Katie Holmes Sideboob, Jessica Alba Cleave, and Miley Cyrus’ Annie Lennox Look Highlight the 2013 Met Gala

By Bill Swift | May 7, 2013 @ 9:47 am

Anne Hathaway, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and More at 2013 Met Gala

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Nice to see my girl Katie Holmes back in the mix, flashing some skin by way of sideboob at the fancy pants 2013 Met Gala last night in New York. The Met Gala is one of the biggest highfalutin celebrity events of the year, with a ton of A-listers showing up in their designer gowns for the Big Apples biggest red carpet.

Besides Katie we couldn't help but notice Miley Cyrus calling upon an 80's Euro-pop vibe, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba showing some cleave, Kate Beckinsale, Taylor Swift, and a bunch of other top tier celebs showing off their finest. It's kind of like the very first sequence in a recurring R.E.M. sleep fantasy of mine, the one right before the the robbers break in and force all the girls to hand over their fancy frocks. I could tell you what happens next, but this is a family site. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba So Hot and Not Without Earning It

By Bill Swift | April 25, 2013 @ 3:06 pm

Jessica Alba Very Sexy Shoot in Net-A-Porter Magazine

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In the online magazine Net-a-Porter, Jessica Alba mentions that she aided her bodies recovery to hotness weight after baby birth by binding herself day and night in tight corsets. As Jessica confirms, this was a painful process. Seems a bit savage really, and not that I approve of any woman torturing herself outside of standard Pilates and starvation techniques to improve her looks just for us, but... Jessica does look pretty damn amazing.

Again, ladies, please, don't hurt yourselves. No dying for good looks and all that nonsense that leads to unhealthy diets and 9 hour a day workouts. In fact, we here at Egotastic! do quite adore the curvy ladies. Having said that, once you are feeling good about your shape, please do show us what you get to see in the mirror each morning. That's not a request, that's a beg. Enjoy.

JESSICA ALBA'S DELETED MACHETE SCENES REQUIRED A TIGHT TUMMY

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Jessica Alba Long Legs and Cleavage for Glamour

By Bill Swift | April 9, 2013 @ 10:30 am

Jessica Alba Flashing Her Sexy Legs in Glamour UK May 2013

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Jessica Alba is on something of a roll this week, what with her faptastic bikini picture parade out of St. Bart's, and now an amazing pictorial spread in Glamour U.K. featuring the mommy hottie flashing her shapely legs and just enough cleavage to be dangerous. Well, dangerous to us and our wanton ways. I'm sure Jessica is the height of innocence and proper MILF behavior. Except for that occasional wry smile, that let's us know there's still a little naughty in those hills.

Jessica Alba Looks Stunning in Mike Rosenthal Shoot 2013

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And, while you're at it, why not double down on Alba hotness with this new Mike Rosenthal shoot of Jessica Alba. If she were my mom, I'd suggest moving to a state where people were enlightened on the matter of family love. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba Bikini Pictures of Epic Hotness from 3-Day St. Bart’s Weekend

By Bill Swift | April 8, 2013 @ 9:03 am

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Today, the heavens shine truly upon us as we give thanks for the gift of relatively decent eyesight. The anatomical sensation that allows us to feast our desirous eyeballs upon Jessica Alba bikini pictures the likes of which we weren't sure we'd ever see again. But, as we always say, there's no containing the sextastic. It can not be caged or restrained or buried, not permanently. It's a beacon of sweet body goodness as evidenced by Jessica Alba over not one, not two, but three days of bikini- clad killer MILFtastic hotness down in the Caribbean.

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Is this heaven? We're only missing the milk and cookies and the accidentally misplaced bikini top. Enjoy.

Jessica Alba Muy Caliente in Latina Magazine

By Bill Swift | March 26, 2013 @ 10:12 am

Jessica Alba is a Hot MILF in Latina Magazine April 2013

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Oddly enough, it wasn't but a few years ago Jessica Alba was distancing herself from her grandfather's Mexican heritage. I don't remember all the specifics, but it got tons of people up in arms over her comments about not feeling at all connected or wanting to be labeled to Latinas. Well, how the worm turns. Maybe it was having kids and reconnect with her roots or maybe it was just wanting the chance to look super hot in a Hispanic focused magazine, either way, Jessica Alba turns up the heat in the April edition of Latina magazine. Classy, but super sextastic, as she is ought to be.

I can sort of relate to Jessica's ancestry plight. There was a time I did not want to share with people that my grandfather was a horny polar bear who made his way into Juneau, Alaska one breeding evening and made babies with my grandma who happened to be a bit of an ursophile. But there comes a time that we all must take pride in where we come from. And if we can do that while looking all kinds of supremely hot on the cover of a magazine, all the better. Good on you, Jessica. Enjoy.

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Jessica Alba, Katy Perry, and Selena Gomez Highlight the Innocent Hotness at the Kid’s Choice Awards

By Bill Swift | March 25, 2013 @ 9:02 am

Selena Gomez and Katy Perry at the 2013 Kids Choice Awards

Selena Gomez, Katy Perry and Kristen Stewart at the 2013 Kids Choice Awards

Bella Thorne at the 2013 Kids Choice Awards

Victoria Justice at the 2013 Kids Choice Awards

Danica Patrick at the 2013 Kids Choice Awards

Kristen Stewart at the 2013 Kids Choice Awards

Debby Ryan at the 2013 Kids Choice Awards

Elizabeth Gillies at the 2013 Kids Choice Awards

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There's a reason we don't let tweens vote, or drive, or have money, or, in the modern world, have children of their own. They make some bad decisions. Yes, with adults coming in a close second no doubt in terms of taste. But middle schoolers, wow, they really have some floundering taste. When Nickelodeon lets the kids decide each year to pass out awards to their favorite celebrities, you can count on two things -- first, a bunch of kids from the teen TV machines will be dressed shiny and innocent to accept awards, and, second, Katy Perry will be showing some cleavage. (Oh, also, the least fat Kardashian sister will be in attendance, which, actually turned out to be Khloe this year, of all unexpected surprises.)

Still, the hotties do show up, teens and former teen stars alike, including hot mom Jessica Alba, the aforementioned Katy Cocktease, Selena Gomez pretending she isn't in the very raunchy Spring Breakers out in theaters, Bella Thorne, Debby Ryan, and a bunch more. All looking their cutesy best for the kids. I'm sure somebody got slimed. Oh, boy. Enjoy.