When I say I would follow Alessandra Ambrosio to the ends of the earth, I really do kind of mean it literally. Along flight down to Sudamericana is hardly going to shake me from my appointed task. Hence, why we got to eye spy with our prurient little eyes the heavenly bikini body of Alessandra in her home country of Brazil, adjusting her wet bikini thong with her very lucky hand.
Alessandra has picked up the traits of fearing the sun from her time in Hollywood, but even a floppy hat couldn’t diminish the heavenly hotness she exudes out of the entire rest of her fine female form, especially when in the vicinity of water and not wearing all that much. They may not even recognize her in that disguise in her native land, but I have the topographical rendering of her tight model asstastic in my brain measured down to the nano something or other. That’s Alessandra, and there goes my heart. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
I love it when the Victoria’s Secret models step out of their V.S. paycheck and get into the same small and wonderful bits of barely there clothing for other outlets. It’s like catching your hot teacher out in something slinky away from school. Just a bonus on the out of context fantasy builder.
Alsessandra Ambrosio naturally looks downright sextastic anywhere at any time in anything or less. In this bikini pictorial for Ocean Drive magazine, she shows the full range of her saucy Brazilian supermodel pose downs and that faptastic long and lean Pilates toned body. Wow. She sweats so that we may delight. It’s actually kind of saintly. If saint’s had ridiculously hot bodies and booties you wanted to spank until the church bells rang out. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Ocean Drive Magazine
Another blessed part of the winter season is watching the Victoria’s Secret girls shipped around from island to island finding various beach backdrops to catalog shoot their derrieres and bikini hot bodies for the big Spring sales upcoming.
The likes, the very very likes, of Behtai Prinsloo, Candice Swanepoel, Lily Aldridge, and Alessandra Ambrosio were showing off their stellar sextastic bikini bodies in Puerto Rico for the first shoot of January. I’m going to to go ahead and say each of these boobtastic heavenly creatures maintained their rigid diets and workout schedules during the holidays. I don’t see an ounce of fat. I do see many ounces of totally passion inducing bikini body awesome. Time to phone my V.S. sales rep and get into my first buys of the season for the shame closet. How can you not look at these girls behinds and not want to buy something? Enjoy.
Photo Credit: INF
Alessandra Ambrosio looks amazing in a see-through top for Vogue Brazil. (Hollywood Tuna)
Sebastian Bach’s new fiance Suzanne Le is hot as F. (TMZ)
Rihanna knows how to party on a boat…half-naked. (Drunken Stepfather)
Camille Rowe in lingerie gets my pressure up. (Popoholic)
Nicki Minaj wearing a tight cropped shirt on the Rolling Stone cover? Yes, please! (COED)
Jada Pinkett Smith has still got a slamming bikini body. (Huffington Post)
Kim De Jesus climbing waterfalls in a bikini almost makes me want to go hiking…almost. (Busted Coverage)
Yoga’s been a thing for a while now for the good looking ladies among us. But the trend of beach and park yoga and public displays of downward facing dog perfection, that’s an entirely new trend and one we must continue to heavily encourage in the new year.
As for 2014, the yoga exhibitionist market was dominated by the likes of sextastic goodies such as Ana Braga and Lisa Opie and Alessandra Ambrosio who introduced us to the concept of the ancient meditative and muscular arts translated into a modern faptastic setting. Behold some of our favorite yoga poses in public from the past year. See if you don’t feel your chakra swelling with pride. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Archives
Alessandra Ambrosio covered topless is my second day of Chanukah present. (The Superficial)
Karrueche frolics on the beach in a tiny bikini. (TMZ)
Jennifer Lawrence sports some tight leather pants and makes my Peeta happy. (Huffington Post)
You can see Candice Swanepoel‘s nips in this Victoria’s Secret spread. (Drunken Stepfather)
Danielle Knudson is an expert lingerie wearer. (Hollywood Tuna)
Are you ready for some Jehane “Gigi” Paris in a swimsuit? (Popoholic)
Jess Gysin can handle my volleyballs anytime. (COED)
Here’s a thought. Alessandra Ambrosio is just crazy hot. I mean, like mind numbing, mumbling, drooling, loss of body control and central nervous system permanent meltdown kind of hot. I’m not sure she’s even trying her hardest. She’s like Ali in the ring taking on a lesser opponent. Yawn, another day at the office without a bra or cover up and some sextastic revealing beach outfits in Glamour Magazine.
I do so love when glamour and faptastic cross over, as in these steamy delightful photos of the Brazilian supermodel and Victoria’s Secret mainstay promenading as if right out of several of my personal fantasies involving this MILFy mom. Her long lean and sultry body could probably heal most diseases if applied topical. And topically if shall be for my own prurient illness that can’t ever seem to be cured. Alessandra, I’m not sure who to thank for making you this way, I only know I’ve already brought the flowers and iTunes gift cards. I feel so grateful. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Glamour Magazine