Egotastic! The Sexy Side Of Celebrity Gossip | Because Men Think Differently

Joanna Krupa Flashing Long Tall Legs at L.A. Fashion Week

By Bill Swift | March 12, 2014 @ 11:24 am

Joanna Krupa in a High Slit Skirt at Style Fashion Week in LA

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Fashion is boring. There, I said it. It's out there now, I can't take it back. Skin is exciting. I'm never taking that back. So fashion becomes at least tolerable when the hottie likes of Joanna Krupa is showing off her long legs in a high slit skirt at L.A. Fashion Week.

I'd rather watch paint dry, all seven coats, then ever be forced to listen to anybody discuss hot new fashion trends, but I suppose I could listen to the Spotify that plays in my mind and tune out the conversation were I aside Joanna in that stem-complimenting outfit. I can attest to Joanna looking just in smoking hot in person as on camera. I'd someday like to attest to how great her thighs taste in that same regard. Still efforting. Enjoy.

JOANNA LOVES TO SHARE LOVELY VIEWS OF HER BODY IN PUBLIC, THANKFULLY

Joanna Krupa Soaks up the Sun Poolside in Miami

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Fernanda Uesler and Her Perfected Bikini Body Are Back Playing Beach Volleyball

By Bill Swift | March 12, 2014 @ 10:57 am

Fernanda Uesler Playing Volleyball in a Bikini on Miami Beach

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We saw Fernanda Uesler working out on the beach yesterday, today she's involved in more aerobic and muscle training by way of some intense beach volleyball action along the Miami shoreline. She's Brazilian, so you know right off the bat she's going to look amazing in a bikini and also be a ringer volleyballer. They do grow their tall hot setters and spikers down Brazil way.

There's really never been a fine sport invented than women's beach volleyball. I sure do love me some NFL, but if my executioner gives me 30 minutes of last sporting event to watch, I might just go with hottie Latinas in bikinis bumping the ball around the sand in their booty clinging bikinis. That or pro bowling. Enjoy.

WE SAW TEEN AVA SAMBORA PLAYING THE BEACH VOLLEYBALL OVER NEW YEAR'S

Ava Sambora Plays Volleyball in Her Bikini

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Kim Kardashian Cleavage Is Still Ranking High on the Leering Charts

By Bill Swift | March 12, 2014 @ 10:46 am

Kim Kardashian Flashing Cleavage in a Low Cut Black Dress in Miami

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Kim Kardashian may not be the major media empire queen she once was, or maybe she still is, I don't really check, but she surely still has the big bodacious cleavetastic to flash around town when she needs the cameras trained down there for maximum attention.

Kim's in Miami doing something super important, perhaps for the government or E!, and she took the opportunity to let a good amount of her chestal assets visually flow for the gentleman oglers and paparazzi in the area. Some people say Kim shows off her funbags too much. I say the alternative is hearing her speak. Three cheers for the quiet funbags! Enjoy.

WHEN THE CURTAIN COMES UP, KIM'S TOPS COME FURTHER DOWN

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Courtney Stodden Takes Her Puppies for a Street Walk

By Bill Swift | March 12, 2014 @ 10:35 am

Courtney Stodden Reveals Cleavage in a Black Tight Dress in West Hollywood

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It's hard to get noticed in this town, but Courtney Stodden is doing her darndest. Even when she can't be in a bikini or less on the beach, she still manages to parade her twin resume builders around town in various low cut outfits and dresses so tight even the Kardashian Spanx machine gets jealous. I'll say this for Courtney, she's consistent.

The back-to-blonde young Hollywood comer has been making her way around town with her new manager, possibly her new boyfriend, and her supremely large funbags in search of gainful employment. She's certainly receiving gainful leers. Which is like employment, though harder to pay the rent with, so I've learned. Enjoy.

COURTNEY STODDEN WAS BRIEFLY BRUNETTE AND BRIEFLY DRESSED

Courtney Stodden Covered Topless in Skimpy Black Lingerie

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Humpday Huzzah! Rosie Jones Topless Perfection Is… Perfect

By Bill Swift | March 12, 2014 @ 9:06 am

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Rosie Jones Topless in Lingerie for Nuts March 2014

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What can you say about Rosie Jones besides the fact she's one stupendous young lady with one of the finest pairs of funbags on this planet. I do disfavor superlatives, but every time I see the perfectly pert and pouty pair on Rosie Jones, I am reminded all over again why I dedicate my workday, and a good chunk of my off-work time, to the pursuit of sweet lady melons. Rosie is inspiring.

Featured in the current edition of Nuts magazine, Rosie takes the simple act of the lingerie striptease and turns it into yet another Mona Lisa type classic passion inducing reveal. If Mona Lisa had yams like Rosie Jones, I'd actually visit the Louvre instead of just telling people that I have just to sound sophisticated. Rosie, you are my Huzzah!

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Alessandra Ambrosio Modeling Bikinis and Looking Mighty Fine in L.A.

By Bill Swift | March 12, 2014 @ 8:48 am

Alessandra Ambrosio Bares Midriff on Extra at Universal Studios

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It was a big day for Alessandra Ambrosio yesterday in L.A. Well, I guess everyday is a big day when you're a hot model mom, though were I Alessandra I would spend most of my days in the tub with my loofah and some Lionel Richie Best of CDs.

Alessandra began the day on top of a West Hollywood hotel modeling a new bikini line for V.S. along with angel cohort Behati Prinsloo:

Alessandra Ambrosio and Behati Prinsloo Bikinis at Victoria's Secret Swim Collection 2014 in West Hollywood

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Then into a form fitting bare midriff dress for a stellar sextastic appearance on Extra, a television show you'd have to threaten to stick a fork in my eye before I'd watch, but then I will most definitely be peeking behind the scenes the various lovely ladies like Alessandra pimping their wares on the set. She did have quite a day yesterday. I'd sure love to be part of her tomorrow. Enjoy.

Irina Shayk Lingerie Pictures Are the Height of Hottie Drama

By Bill Swift | March 12, 2014 @ 8:28 am

Irina Shayk Models Lingerie for 2014SS La Clover

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You could do worse than making Irina Shayk the wicked hot body of your dramatic new lingerie line. I guess the silk and lace knitting folks at La Clover figured this out, bringing out the alluring Russian ringer to get all kind of lust inducing in their panties and bras and other intimates that I would cause me to feint if I ever saw the likes of Irina Shayk modeling them in person.

Once again, the simplicity of marketing genius comes to the forefront. Make skimpy clothes, hire Irina Shayk to model them for you, sell tons of shmata. I know people go to school for years to try and learn this stuff, but you follow the Shayk model, you can probably save yourself a whole lot of student debt. Maybe even enough to pay for Irina Shayk. So hot. Enjoy.