Rachel Weisz Black and White and Sexy All Over

01:56 PM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Rachel Weisz

My list of Hebrew school hotties continues to grow as we add a new, and super worthy Rachel Weisz to the Egotastic! family. Seen here in her photoshoot for GQ magazine, Rachel Weisz bridges the broad divide between hot actresses and actresses who can actually act. Ever since The Mummy, I have wanted to be eternally entombed with this dark, brooding, force of sexiness. Yeah, everybody has different tastes when it comes to women; today I choose to taste Rachel Weisz. Enjoy.

Link: Rachel Weisz Black and White and Sexy All Over

Swan Cakes

01:30 PM, Filed under: Links

Natalie Portman sexes up the Black Swan premiere. (Celebuzz)

Karissa Shannon gives an ass crack peek. (HuffPo)

Kendall Jenner shows off her long stems. (GlobalGrind)

Anna Paquin, something to sink your teeth into. (AskMen)

Is this naughty coed the sexiest in America? (CollegeHumor)

Jessica Alba continues her hotness tour. (Popoholic)

Megan Fox and Olsen Twins cat fight? (CityRag)

Link: Swan Cakes

Ashley Tisdale and Aly Michalka Cheerleader Pictures Signal One Week to Hellcats!

01:19 PM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Ashley Tisdale

The popcorn has been popped. The Snuggie for both warmth and discretion has been laid out across my plush leather couch. The cathode ray tube on my '81 Trinitron is all warmed up and glowing. All that's left is one long, unbearable week of wait for my first real glimpse of the petite yet perky Ashley Tisdale and the boobtastic Aly Michalka flashing panties and flying about in their cheerleader uniforms in Hellcats. I CAN NOT WAIT.

Photo credit: INF Photo

Link: Ashley Tisdale and Aly Michalka Cheerleader Pictures Signal One Week to Hellcats!

Maggie Gyllenahaal Transitions from Nanny McPhee to Vibrator Film; We Transition Into Maggie Gyllenhaal Sex Scenes (VIDEOS)

11:32 AM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Maggie Gyllenhaal

I'm an admitted tweener when it comes to Maggie Gyllenhaal. On one hand, what's not to love about a pretty actress who insists on taking every 'abused naked woman' role in modern cinema. Yet, when she gets into the big studio movies like The Dark Knight and flops about with her bouncy funbags, I sometimes wonder why she ever leaves the comfort of her troubled naked indie roles. Like this past weekend, I'm taking Rodney, the redheaded bastard child a Swiss court mistakenly claims I 'fathered' with a KLM flight attendant, to see Nanny McPhee Part Something Or Other and there's Maggie Gyllenhaal being a quaint mom and completely hiding her gravity-laden guns. Confusing. And, up next for Maggie, the movie Hysteria where she plays a woman who fights the doctor-ordered use of vibrators on crazy-angry women back in the 19th century. I know, it sounds barbaric in modern context; it also sounds ridiculously smart. Mostly, Maggie Gyllenhaal just confuses me and I wish she'd go back to making more of her tortured naked girl arthouse films that I can ogle and not have to understand. Enjoy.

And, now the fun part. Maggie Gyllenhaal showing off her Gyllenhaals in a series of some of our favorite classic nude and abused Maggie G. movies ever:

First, all nudie and delightfully bottom-friendly in Secretary:

Watch the Video:

Maggie Gyllenhaal All Nudie in Secretary

As the oppressed, fellatial minded ex-con topless struggling mom in Sherry Baby:

Watch the Video:

Maggie Gyllenhaal Topless in Sherry Baby

And, the twelve-minute interrogation scene of naked Maggie Gyllenhaal in Strip Search:

Watch the Video:

Maggie Gyllenhaal Nude and Berated in Strip Search

Link: Maggie Gyllenahaal Transitions from Nanny McPhee to Vibrator Film; We Transition Into Maggie Gyllenhaal Sex Scenes (VIDEOS)

Cheryl Tweedy 2011 Calendar Pictures Forecast a Sexy Year

10:56 AM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Cheryl Tweedy

Honestly, I'm still not sure what Cheryl Tweedy (nee Cole) is famous for, other than being super hot and having a husband who still went off the reservation (and the blindingly obvious commentary about the male of the species therein). So, go ahead and write me about her pop star talents or her TV show hostessing skills, I don't care. She's ridiculously sexy and now I can look at her 12-months out of (next) year, while making sure I keep my vital appointments, like... well, okay, maybe my social calendar remains light, but, because of these amazing Cheryl Tweedy pictures, I'll be placing this calendar in a place of prominence on the Egotastic! wall. Enjoy.

Link: Cheryl Tweedy 2011 Calendar Pictures Forecast a Sexy Year

Vanessa Hudgens Bare-Midriff Causes Motor Vehicles to Collide

09:19 AM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Vanessa Hudgens

Kenny, the ageless street grifter who protects my parked car from overnight 'accidents' tells me he once dropped a 16-oz cup of scalding hot coffee on his family jewels when Heather Locklear walked by him in a see-through top back in 1989. Just for future reference, don't give Kenny a look of disbelief when he makes such a claim or he will show you the proof. Fast forward to 2010 and Vanessa Hudgens hotness passing through a drug store parking lot and a couple dudes in their vehicles checking out her sexy bare midsection and... crash. Oh, we can call them idiots, but we've all been there. Me, you, Kenny. Ogling is not a sport without injuries. Enjoy.

Photo credit: Fame

Link: Vanessa Hudgens Bare-Midriff Causes Motor Vehicles to Collide

Kim Kardashian Boobs and Butt and Upskirts, Oh, My

08:55 AM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Kim Kardashian

Just when I had written off Kim Kardashian to future babushka status, she goes and hits for the cycle of of celebrity hottie flashing with an outfit that highlights her epic rack, amazing ass, and just to rub it in our faces, a Kim Kardashian upskirt picture for good measure. Never count out a cagey veteran hottie with a wardrobe filled with corsets. Enjoy.

Photo credit: INF Photo / pacificcoastnewsonline.com

Link: Kim Kardashian Boobs and Butt and Upskirts, Oh, My

Natalia Paris Sexy and Topless Photoshoot Revisited (VIDEOS)

02:12 PM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Natalia Paris

When last we met up with Natalia Paris, we had just learned that maybe her kingpin ex-husband was cut-up into pieces and buried in garbage bags and that while this was super sad, we mostly just wanted to ogle and drool over this ridiculously hot Colombian model. Well, now we've got the full video set from her Soho magazine photoshoot we posted a couple weeks ago, and, while our knowledge of Spanish is muy poco, we just assume Natalia Paris is mostly just saying, 'Hey, check out my amazing body'. And, we are. Enjoy.

Watch the Videos:

Natalia Paris Sexy Soho Photoshoot, Part 1

Natalia Paris Sexy Soho Photoshoot, Part 2

Natalia Paris Sexy Soho Photoshoot, Part 3

Natalia Paris Sexy Soho Photoshoot, Part 4

Natalia Paris Sexy Soho Photoshoot, Part 5

Natalia Paris Sexy Soho Photoshoot, Part 6

Link: Natalia Paris Sexy and Topless Photoshoot Revisited (VIDEOS)

Venice Peach

02:00 PM, Filed under: Links

Jessica Alba whacks Italia for Machete premiere. (Celebuzz)

Heidi Montag, we can rebuild her. (Radar)

Warning: Bar Rafaeli photos may cause addiction. (AskMen)

A salute to celebrity wardrobe malfunctions. (Celebslam)

Natalie Portman looking ridiculously hot. (Popoholic)

Kim Kardashian is a DD with double Ds. (HuffPo)

Miley Cyrus breaks into Marilyn Manson's makeup bag. (dlisted)

Link: Venice Peach

Is Paris Hilton Using Her Lady Stank Like A Piggy Bank? (VERY NSFW)

01:22 PM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Paris Hilton

Well, you know, my love for Billionaire Barbie is boundless, and I hate to pile on when the heiress is down on her luck following a recent arrest for cocaine possession in Sin City, but, how could I pass up this little 'unsourced' news nugget claiming that Paris Hilton uses her lady nest as her go-to stash house. Hmm, it seems far fetched, but when you consider the comprehensive list of vessels to have docked in Paris' harbor, well, hmm.

For you CSI fans, we've included an upgraded version of this classic Paris Hilton upskirt picture, for your personal examination.

Link: Is Paris Hilton Using Her Lady Stank Like A Piggy Bank? (VERY NSFW)

Ana Ivanovic, My Secret Tennis Crush (Bonus Sweaty Nipple Pokes)

12:30 PM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Ana Ivanovic

Can we talk privately? I'd like to think we have that kind of relationship now. I kind of have a thing for female tennis players, not all of them, but, you know, the select, sweaty, muscular butt and legtastic, few that swat the hell out of those round balls with a deadly-force grunt. My latest tennis crush, the powerhouse Ana Ivanovic, seen here in her first round at the U.S. Open this week. I'd be lying if I didn't say I have dreams involving the sweaty sexy Ana Ivanovic, some catgut string, a blindfold, and tennis panties. Wow, that feels good to get off my chest.

I'm in sports lust with Ana Ivanovic, and I want the world to know!

And, some super Serbian nipple pokes from my new sports crush:

Photo credit: Splash News

Link: Ana Ivanovic, My Secret Tennis Crush (Bonus Sweaty Nipple Pokes)

Selena Gomez Is Getting All Grow'd Up; First Look at 'A Year Without Rain'

11:07 AM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Selena Gomez

Oh, my, how they grow up fast these days. We have been hoping, hoping and praying, for the barely legal Selena Gomez to start acting more, well, barely legal. The first glimpses are a'coming. Starting here with a first look at Selena Gomez in her yet-to-be-released music video for 'A Year Without Rain' where we finally see some cleavage and boobies and the start of what I expect to be a decade or more of amazing Selena Gomez sexy media. We can't wait.

Link: Selena Gomez Is Getting All Grow'd Up; First Look at 'A Year Without Rain'

Jessica Alba Nipple Poke Pictures Are a Start of Something Sexy

09:10 AM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Jessica Alba

Super sexy Jessica Alba has been letting loose lately, and, I like it! In the past month, she's been flashing the Egotastic! world see-through tops and upskirts at a head-spinning speed. Maybe Jessica Alba is finally tiring of the whole good girl image; of course, we have quit a different take on what constitutes a 'good' girl in the first place. (We see a sexy celebrity in barely any clothes and the word, good, drools slowly out of our hanging-open mouths.) Jessica Alba has so many hot body parts that make my cuckoo bust out of its clock, it's ridiculous. But, for today, the hint of nipple. Enjoy.

Photo credit: Fame / INF Photo

Link: Jessica Alba Nipple Poke Pictures Are a Start of Something Sexy

Blake Lively Cleavage and Nipple Poke Pictures Pierce My Lustful Heart

08:37 AM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Blake Lively

An Open Letter to Blake Lively Boobs:

My dearest Blake Lively fun bags. How you enchant me. With your plumpness, squished into tight spaces, flowing up and spilling out of the tops the whole world wishes you would simply remove. Your nipples, like the tips of your lust spears, pierce my heart and fill me with your boobtastic wonderment. Oh, proud cans of lusciousness, release me from your chesty grip that forces me to ogle your every jiggle. Yours are the globes that keep my planet spinning. Bless you.

The Blake Lively epic cleavage:

And, the Blake Lively nipple pokes:

Photo credit: INF Photo / Fame

Link: Blake Lively Cleavage and Nipple Poke Pictures Pierce My Lustful Heart

Kelly Brook Hotness At French Piranha Premiere (With Updated Kelly Brook Nude Film Clip)

01:39 PM, Filed under: Celebrities \ Kelly Brook

While the Piranha 3-D movie continues to lag at the box office, my lust for Kelly Brook continues to grow ever more. Seems like a fair trade actually. From piranha to Playboy, Kelly Brook hotness just keeps sinking deeper and deeper into the gray matter of my brain thing. Kelly Brook traveling the world to push her fish tale just means more photos of the sexy Brit decked out in cleavage-revealing finery for the latest premiere; this time for the fish-loving peoples of France. Oh, Kelly Brook boobage, you have a hold on my heart. And, you know, my heart. Enjoy.

Photo credit: Fame

We've updated our Piranha 3-D cuts, to better capture the hotness of Kelly Brook, along with nude cohort, Riley Steele, in both the infamous 'motorboat' moment, and the nude mermaid clip.

Watch the Movie Clips

Kelly Brook 'Motorboat' Scene in Piranha 3-D

Kelly Brook and Riley Steele, Nude Mermaids

Link: Kelly Brook Hotness At French Piranha Premiere (With Updated Kelly Brook Nude Film Clip)