Egotastic! The Sexy Side Of Celebrity Gossip | Because Men Think Differently

Julia Pereira Slender Fine Brazilian Beach Body Tees Up the Weekend

By Bill Swift | July 25, 2014 @ 2:35 pm

Julia Pereira Bikins at the Beach in Miami

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If you ever needed any inspiration to delight in a summer weekend, how about the fine slender bikini body of Julia Pereira strutting her sweet bikini treats at the beach in Miami. Now, Julia might be a young old hat at this hot body exhibition game, but every time I ogle her tight little booty, I feel like we're both doing it for the first time again. I think that's called romantic, but I'm not sure.

If you can't find time to revel in the summer, you never shall. I implore you to take a load off this weekend, kick up your feet, grab your binoculars and a cold one, and focus your most important sense on some beautiful woman that resembles Julia Pereira. If you can't find one, use your imagination. Last weekend, I stared for an hour at a rather curvy elm tree. It's not what you have, it's what you do with what you have. Enjoy your summer weekend.

JULIA PEREIRA IS ALWAYS DRESSED PERFECTLY FOR MY EVERY OCCASION

Julia Pereira Wearing a Red Bikini in Miami

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Emily Agnes Nekkid in Playboy Magazine Part Deux, By Popular Demand and Near Riots

By Bill Swift | July 25, 2014 @ 1:49 pm

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We had a rather warm reception to last week's announcement that our bodaciously boobtastic object d' lust, Emily Shaw, had changed her name to Emily Agnes and was set to be the Playmate of the Month for July 2014. Quite an honor. And quite an opportunity for us to bring you yet another pictorial of the ever so crazy hot yams and all over fine female form of Emily Hottie. That might just be the right name for her.

Playboy.TV Free For One Week Still Rolling. Do Not Miss Out!

Emily plays the role of naughty "Insatiable' vixen in her new set of Playboy shoots. The very thought of Emily as a nymphomaniac with that body as her weapon makes me want to surrender in all kinds of bound by silken ropes ways. I love the glasses. But if she whipped them off purposefully and told me what a bad boy I've been, I would definitely need oxygen, a defibrillator, and some peanut butter M&Ms. It's never the wrong time for peanut butter M&M's. Oh, Emily, you are a heartthrob of intensely throbbing proportions. Enjoy.

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Ludivine Sagna Bikini Boobtastic Weighs Heavily On My Naughty Mind

By Bill Swift | July 25, 2014 @ 1:06 pm

Ludivine Sagna Shows Off Her Curves in a Pink Bikini on Miami Beach

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I'm not sure what materials and construct are used by the bikini makers for soccer WAG Ludivine Sagna, but they have to be using some space age polymers (whatever that means) to bear the tensile strength of those oustanding mammma jammas. I'm not into the science of wardrobing so much as I am into the science of the sextastic, and Ludivine continues her busty brunette bikini show of shows in Miami this week with her dumb soccer husband somewhere we could care less about.

Every time Ludivine exits the water, the ocean cries another salty tear. As would I. Were I Neptune, I'd generate a tide that kept her in my clutches, and then I'd do some things with my firm, but gentle trident I can't talk about on here because this is a family friendly site. Suffice it to say, there would be froth. Enjoy.

EVA AMURRI BROUGHT US HER OWN SOCIAL MEDIA BIKINI RACKTASTIC

Eva Amurri at Her Bachelorette Party in Las Vegas

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Thank God It’s Funbags! Sophie Reade Topless Ta-Ta’s Robust and Ready for Reveal

By Bill Swift | July 25, 2014 @ 12:45 pm

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Sophie Reade Topless Boobtastic Photoshoot in ZOO Magazine July 2014

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Sophie Reade certainly seems like a fun girl. I can't claim to know her as well as some of her peers, but she and her bodacious racktastic certainly strike me as somebody who'd make my top ten list of ladies I'd love to have in my hot tub. If I had a hot tub. Or ladies.

Featured in Zoo magazine, Sophie shows why she's perfectly suited to the simple sextastic photoshoots owned by girls with winning smiles and even more winning bodies. On Fridays, we like to round out our week of fine female forms, with the memorable curves of some of the finest, funnest, and most raptastic ladies on the planet. If you're not dreaming of Sophie Reade tonight, you're not dreaming properly. Thank God It's Funbags!

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Taylor Swift Is Having a Lust Affair With New York in the Summer

By Bill Swift | July 25, 2014 @ 11:59 am

Taylor Swift Bares Midriff and Legs In Central Park

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I can't remember a time an A-list celebrity so dominated the New York summer paparazzi scene like Taylor Swift and her leggy, tummy baring outfits seemingly daily strutting around Manhattan. Word is that Taylor has been doing every day grinding core workouts with model Karlie Kloss and toning up her all overs, especially her midsection. It all seems to be working quite well. For Taylor, and for us.

I don't care what people say about Taylor Swift the person, the girlfriend, even the singer. I just want that tall blonde diva in my living room putting on a private dancing show while I applaud like a seal and hope nobody pinches me because I'm obviously dreaming. Keep up the good work, Taylor. Enjoy.

TAYLOR SWIFT IS NOT SHY ABOUT SHOWING OFF HER LONG HOT LEGS

Taylor Swift Shows Off Her Long Sexy Legs at The Grove

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Cosplay Girls of Comic-Con Day Uno

By Bill Swift | July 25, 2014 @ 11:48 am

Girls Sexy Outfits for Comic Con in San Diego

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It didn't take long into the long weekend at Comic-Con for the cosplay girls in barely there costumes to try to self-promote as much as possible, before eventually being encircled by fan boy armies of horny nerds who consumed them in whole. It's a brief, but bright existence. Better to burn out than fade away and all that nonsense.

With 50,000 screaming geek boys with lotion dispensers attached to their fanny packs, it doesn't take much to get them amped up. Lots of skin in rayon wardrobe often does the trick. Or just deep cleavage and pubic exhibition. This is what Comic-Con is truly about. Check out some of the girls spotted around the convention on Opening Day.

2012 WAS A STIFF YEAR FOR SEXTASTIC CELEBS AT COMIC-CON

Sara Jean Underwood Dresses up for Comic Con

Kristin Kreuk at Beauty & The Beast Panel at Comic Con

Maggi Q in a Skin Tight Dress at Comic Con

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Toni Garrn Bikini Hot Sun and Yacht Playtime in St. Tropez

By Bill Swift | July 25, 2014 @ 11:28 am

Toni Garrn Wears a Blue Bikini on a Yacht in Saint-Tropez

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When you're Leonardo Dicaprio's current model girlfriend, you get a few perks. Like a yacht to soak up the sun and show off your bikini body hotness in St. Tropez. Not that most international young sextastic models have trouble finding slots on a sloop, but when you're Leo's girl in St. Tropez, you get the bigger boat.

Toni Garrn and her modeling profile hasn't been hurt by her Leo association. Nor by her actual stunning bikini profile. I'm figuring it's the yacht that gets you the hot Euro model in a bikini, but it may also have to do with being a movie star. I'll need to work on both before I head to Europe for my Match.com dating tour of the supermodel scene. Enjoy.