Egotastic! The Sexy Side Of Celebrity Gossip | Because Men Think Differently

Sofia Vergara Sultry Cleavetastic Cooking Hot for Chef Premiere

By Bill Swift | April 23, 2014 @ 3:44 pm

Sofia Vergara Cleavy in a White Dress at Chef Premiere in NYC

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When it comes to red carpet competitions, I pity the poor woman who even attempts to keep up with Sofia Vergara. Between that veteran hot body, those twin fiestas of joy, and the experience to put it all together in one camera-attracting ball of must-shoot hotness, Sofia is really the queen of the red carpet hill. She's an unstoppable force of the decked out sextastic, again at the premiere of Chef at the Tribeca Film Festival.

I have a feeling Sofia Vergara looks wicked hot and put together just going to take a tinkle in the morning. I might be projecting my dreams a bit, but she just always looks like a million bucks. Oh, to be the guy who gets to cinch up her blessedly bodacious top. Who I wouldn't knock into the river to get that gig. Enjoy.

NOBODY BEAtS OUT SOFIA VERGARA IN A FORM FITTING DRESS

Sofia Vergara Wears a Tight Blue Dress on Set in Miami

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Zippora Seven Is Hotter and More Topless Than Ever (Though I Suppose Either You Are Or You’re Not)

By Bill Swift | April 23, 2014 @ 2:39 pm

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Just hearing the name Zippora Seven makes me smile these days. I know what comes next is likely going to be something broody but alluring and all-around topless sextastic as is the case in her new shoot with Jason Lee Parry. Zippora is still a rather young Australian model with a fast rising star, a name built for fame, and a body built to induce enough passion to make everything else fall into place.

Even as I'm ogling Zippora's boobtastic wonderments, just ever so perfect, I can't imagine she has a ceiling on the places she will go or the number of times I will stare at her nekkid on her way there. I'm consistent, if nothing else. Enjoy.

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Sara Malakul Lane Hot and Cleavy and Highly Suggestive in a White Body Suit

By Bill Swift | April 23, 2014 @ 1:15 pm

Sara Malakul Lane Shows Cleavage in a White Bodysuit for a Sexy Photoshoot

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Sara Malakul Lane. Hmm, where have I heard that name before? Shaktopus! Only one of the best movies ever, made even better by Sara's hot and bodacious female form. Now, the Thai-British actress is back and more boobtastic than ever in a photoshoot that seems to be interplaying water with human anatomical reactions in a manner than makes me delightfully uncomfortable.

Sara has all the tools for a big breakout hottie, I'm starting at two of those tools now. That faptastic body and bosom and those alluring looks lead me to believe that Sharktopus 2 can't possible be far behind. Enjoy.

HOT BODY SUITS HAVE A STORIED HISTORy HERE AT EGOTASTiC!

Rita Ora Performs in a Skin Tight Blue and White Body Suit

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Humpday Huzzah! Summer St. Claire Teasy Topless Bodysuit Goodness In Some Lucky Building

By Bill Swift | April 23, 2014 @ 12:27 pm

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Summer St. Claire Topless Treats in a Blue Bodysuit

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How come I never get home to find girls the likes and form and sextastic of Summer St. Claire stripping out of their little workout things in my living room. I once came home and found the neighbor lady who has my emergency key eating all my cereal, but that's not the same. She wasn't super hot, just super high. No, it's this delicious treat of a glamour model I want to find bestowing her visual gifts with preens and poses and funbag dangling when I get home from a hard day's work. Okay, so it's not all that hard, still I would be extremely polite and appreciative and even use my fancy words around Summer. Hot topless girls deserve fancy words.

On this humpday of the week, we like to celebrate all that jiggles righteously in our hearts and minds and retinal cones that make the dreams all possible. Summer St. Claire more than fits that bill, she completes it. Huzzah!

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Fabiana Semprebom Goes Sempreboom! For Despi Swimwear

By Bill Swift | April 23, 2014 @ 12:17 pm

Fabiana Semprebom Looks Very Hot in Despi Swimwear Summer 2014

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Oh, Brazil, the cradle of all things bikini hot. Another bestowed gift in the form of ten year veteran model hottie Fabiana Semprebom showing off in one pieces and two pieces for Despi Swimwear.

If Fabiana doesn't have the perfect female form for modeling bikinis, than I need to go back to my drawing board. Literally, I have a board where I sketch ladies bodies in swimsuits, or less, trying to sketch out my ideal. Not that there is one single ideal. There are a thousand. And Fabiana definitely fits more than one of them. Just so hot. I think I broke my pencil. Enjoy.

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Constance Nunes Bikini Hotness Smolders in Red

By Bill Swift | April 23, 2014 @ 11:56 am

Constance Nunes Red Hot Bikini Shoot in Malibu

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Constance Nunes is rising big times on the charts of girls I would allow to sexually use me over the course of what will come to be known as the best weekend of my life. This 138 Water nonsense is bringing to light a whole bunch of supremely hot bikini models that we might otherwise miss were it not for this completely unjustifiable marketing campaign. Hey, it's not our money. Or mine, which I don't have in the first place. If somebody wants to bring out hottie after super hottie to flash their ridiculously fine and tanned female form in a bikini or less for commercial pimpitude, pimp on, my friends.

Constance, you are something really special. I can only hope the next gig you book requires just a little more indiscretion. What lies beneath that bikini is far more precious than any bottled H20. It's actually the secret to a happy and content life. If only it too could be bottled. Enjoy.

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Sarah Hyland Portrays a Doll in Stockings (It Could Be Creepy If It Weren’t So Hot)

By Bill Swift | April 23, 2014 @ 10:42 am

Sarah Hyland Hot in Flaunt Magazine May 2014

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It took me a while to get into this kind of oddly creepy photoshoot of petite hottie Sarah Hyland posing as a doll among real dolls in this Flaunt magazine pictorial. I'm sure there's a deep message her about a bunch of social and cultural phenomenons well above my intellectual grade. And that does kind of bother me. As does the idea of Sarah being some mute toy put into a closet. Then again... there is wicked little sextastic Sarah in her stockings rolling about not unlike one or two REM sleep cycle fantasies I've had of the Modern Family ingenue.

Just so especially hot. I want to wind up her backside and see if she'll whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Or punch a couple guys and tell them nobody puts Baby in the corner. I just feel a need to do something. I'll probably just go back to ogling. Enjoy.