Bikinis Posts:

Kat Torres Leopard Bikini Showtime in Malibu

Did those creepy water folks just shoot a second pimping hot girl in a bikini today? They just did. They are on some kind of quota system for sextastic wet bikini models or something. Not such a bad quota if you have to have one.

Kat Torres looks all kind of stupendously animal in her little leopard print bikini sort of barely clinging to her body along the dunes and sand of Malibu. She definitely seems to be having a good time. I definitely seem to be having an even better time ogling her lovely lean lady form. It sounds like a match made in heaven. Why don't I pick up a sixer of 138 water and pour it over you to remove the sand, Kat? Just a suggestion, I have more. About 937 more on my short list. Most involve liquids. None involve you remaining in that bikini. I think I had one shot of expensive water too many. Enjoy.

Sveva Alviti Bikinis Like A Pro In Miami Beach

Italian hottie Sveva Alviti took some time off from riding around on Vespas and saying ciao all the time, (that's what they do in Italy, right?), to show off her bikini body in Miami Beach. She wore a very small blue bikini that accentuated her redonkulous figure. Her booty is molto bene, my friends. It's perfectly shaped and tight as a drum. You could bounce quarters off of that booty but that would be disrespectful and a waste of a quarter. The bikini bottom is really low cut so that you see that part of her hips that leads down to the golden palace in her pants. This is an oft overlooked part of the sexy female anatomy. Trust me boys, next time you are with a lady pay a little attention to this area. You'll thank me for it.

It's too bad she was in Miami and not Italy. She probably would have been topless in Italy. Stupid American nudity laws.

Carmireli Uses Her Ta-Tas To Sell Expesnsive Water

The lovely Carmireli showed off her amazing body in this photoshoot for the folks at 138 Water. The company like to show how super hot women in bikinis like to drink their pricey water. It's an effective campaign. It's certainly got my attention and I have a thirst that only seeing hot women in scantily clad outfits can quench. Carmireli sure hits the spot. She is wearing a tiny bikini top and a pair of shorts that show off more than they conceal. She's got a nice perky pair of jubblies. They are the kind of boobies you want to buy a drink for and then suckle them till dawn. Carmireli has also got herself an intensely sexy pair of legs. I wouldn't mind having those bad boys wrapped around me.

There is a hint of some kind of wild dragon or serpent-like tattoo coming out from inside her shorts. Lord only knows what this is. I'll admit that I'm not much of a tattoo guy but I wouldn't mind  seeing where that snake ends.


Kat Torres Bikini Wicked Hot Modeling for The Pimped Water Co

Wow. Another day another crazy hot female form in a barely there bikini showing off for the end goal of selling expensive bottled water. Only half of that equation makes perfect sense. The half where Kat Torres gets down to her thong and tiny bikini top and preens and poses on the Malibu shoreline beneath the California sun. She really is the work of art here, though like the water itself, not available in any stores known to man.

Something about Kat's little itty bitty green thong has me mesmerized. I'm not sure if it's the color or the way it serves as a barely there veil to the treasures beneath. Either way, I'd probably waste some coin on some H20 to unveil. If that were the offer, they'd need to fill a lot more bottles. I really should be somebody's chief marketing officer. I'm going to need a big desk and cigars and a nap couch and a salary befitting my station in life. Or just Kat's worn bikini in lieu of salary. I can be flexible as to compensation. Enjoy.

Lily Aldridge Bikini Smoky Hotness for GQ

Lily Aldridge may just be the most underrated V.S. model in the hottie arsenal. She works a little less perhaps than some of her peers with her young family, she's brunette, a Yank, and maybe some other reasons why she's never mention in the tops of the V.S. lingerie models list. But she ought be, even among such stiff competition. Or, competition that makes you stiff if you like dick jokes.

Featured in the new edition of GQ UK, Lily Aldridge in bikini and other wardrobe essentials burns off the page with her alluring charms and a body that men used to go to war for, now just troll each other on the Internet or write rap songs over I suppose. Still, it's the modern day version of a battle. A woman like Lily Aldridge can pretty much wink and get whatever she wants. If she takes her top off, she wouldn't even have to wink or say please. I hope I become her victim one day. I'm counting on it. So hot! Enjoy.

Jennifer Nicole Lee Scotch Tape of a Bikini on Miami Beach

BBW turned MILFtastic fitness guru Jennifer Nicole Lee unveiled a Scottish delight of a bikini on Miami Beach, with her usual bits of difficulty tying her thong strings just enough so that every teen boy along the strip suddenly became a bit more of a man. She really does have the thumper of a fitness instructor half her age, which just goes to show that through hard work, dedication, and lots of sweat, you too can have the body of a rock hard gym goddess well into your whatever years. I do like that dedication part, the hard work and sweat seems tedious though. I'll probably just stick to looking.

You could do worse than hiring Jennifer Nicole Lee to whip you into shape. And perhaps teach you the fine art of losing your bikini top and bottom along the beach. That would be a great service to our nation if she could do that for her other sextastic mommy clients. Everyone has their part to do in this great grand drama we call the ogle-worthy world. Enjoy.

Jehane Gigi Paris Bikini Sextastic for Acacia

I happen to be heels over head in lust with Jehane Gigi Paris, that French model who has taken Los Angeles by storm, with an epicenter somewhere many evenings around the boudoir of my own humble abode. She truly has that 'it' quality that makes me want to empty all $74 in my savings account to do something spectacular to win her over. I don't know, like taking all her friends to Chipotle or something. No chips and guac obviously if we're on a budget.

Featured in the new Acacia bikini line pictorial, Jehane shows exactly why even with some clothes on, she's still a female force to be reckoned with. Oh, how I'd like to reckon with so many faptastic parts of that killer body, slowly, like over the course of many months. We'd probably need some feeding tubes and such so as not to hamper my nonstop reckoning with silly food breaks. Jehane, please come model for me. I'm cutting and stitching some bikinis as we speak. The fit may be a little rough, but I assure you the changing room only has two hidden cameras. I mean, wait, none hidden cameras. Enjoy.