Bikinis Posts:

Arianny Celeste Bikini Hotness — Yeah, That’s Her Booty

I'm probably alone in feeling super tingly all over upon realizing that this perfect bikini booty happens to belong to the equally perfect all over UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste. So, alone I shall stand and recommend to myself to check out the entire candid capture of Arianny Celeste bikini pictures from Miami Beach today on WWTDD.

I'm not sure what Arianny means in Spanish, but I'm going to guess it's something close to 'You wish, buddy'. Enjoy.

Selena Gomez Bikini Pictures Hoisted Hottie in St. Tropez

What have we here. Our little Latina minx traveling around the Riviera this July in various ports of call and various revealing outfits.

Selena Gomez has made her way up from the Italian coast to the South of France and St. Tropez for a little bikini top fun time aboard one of the many yachts parked in the harbor. This reminds me both that I have mad passion for the petite Selena kitty as well as it's time to turn my coin collection in for another payment down on my own sea-faring vessel. The S.S. Egotastic!, a 22-foot ship of sea which by my abacus reckonings should be launching from her slip around 2037 if my payments continue at present rate. That'll be the day you see the likes of Selena Gomez, or you know, maybe her 19-year old daughter by then, smiling on the forecastle of my mini-clipper. I don't just dare to dream, it's all I do. Enjoy.

Claudia Romani Bikini Pictures Flash the Killer Tush in Leopard Print Thong

First, let me be clear about this. While those sandy marks on either of Claudia Romani's blessed cheeks do clearly resemble my little eager baby hands, I am nowhere near Miami Beach at the moment. As always, my alibi continues to be drunk and passed out in a strip club in Los Angeles where several girls named Savannah can vouch for my all night stay. Still, I wish those were the mark of my prurient paws for the mere touch of Claudia's booty is said to have the healing powers of the Fountain of Youth. Or at least two aspirin and a Viagra. Hot damn her blessed bottom makes me want to do extraordinarily stupid things.

As you know, once the laws of this land catch up to my internal moral compass, I shall take Claudia's killer tush and make it my bride. If a man can't love another woman's asstastic forever and ever, I don't know what love is. Truly I don't. My family already knows. But I want the entire world to know. I love Claudia Romani's butt! That was my Lloyd Dobler moment. Enjoy.

Ludivine Sagna And Her Boobs Bikini On Miami Beach

Model and soccer player wife Ludivine Sagna looked redonkulously sexy in a small bikini on Miami Beach. Ludivine has pretty much a perfect body. There is not an ounce of fat or ugly on her. But her most prominent feature are her delectable funbags. Holy mother of boobs she has a nice rack! They are barely contained inside the confines of her bikini top. Much like a tiger or the wind or whatever her boobies cannot be restrained. She's got some serious cleav action going on. The bottom also reveals her perfectly crafted booty. It's a work of art, ya'll.

Ludivine is married in real life to soccer player Bacary Sagna. If watching the World Cup taught me anything it's that "footballers" have pretty stacked wives and girlfriends. I get that these guys are a big deal in other parts of the world and can therefor get the hottest women. It's just in America where no one gives much of a crap. I doubt our native soccer players could land a girl like Ludivine.

Elle Macpherson Bikini Pictures Fifty and Faptastic

While my forty and faptastic list is rather lengthy, the fifty plus version dwindles rather extensively. Though there are clear and obvious rule breakers. Like Elle Macpherson. On a day when we are celebrating bikini beauties at the beach, how about a sweet homage to the queen bee of hot bikini pictures for three decades now. The Aussie with the hot long lean body who can steal teach the youngin's a thing or two about strutting in a two piece.

Elle was on vacation on a yacht off the coast of Italy when she decided to don one of her little bikinis and show off front side and backside half-century hotness. She more than caught my eye. She made 10,000 images of her ridiculously alluring surfer girl hotness flash before my eyes. Then I passed out. Then I woke up wondering what time it was and if Elle would respond to my request for an Adult Nursing Relationship post I made to her on Craigslist Palm Beach. So much to think about, and so much Elle sextastic to focus on. Bless you, Ms. Macpherson. Enjoy.

Paulina Porizkova Bikini Pictures on Grecian MILFtastic Holiday

It's hard to believe Paulina Porizkova will soon be turning 50. It's easy to believe I've lusted for her European bikini sensibilities since before my bobos even dropped. She's been super hot forever.

Paulina and her bikini body took to a Mykonos holiday for the July holiday season. She flashed a frontside and derriere still gifted from the heavens and a good twenty-five years after she retired from SI modeling. It's really incredible to think about. Mostly, it makes me really jealous of that dude from the Cars she's been married to these past twenty-five years. But seeing her bikini tush on the Isles of Greece, I do realize she has a little something in her bag of benevolence for us all. Let' not fight, let's share. Though, obviously, me first. Enjoy.

Michelle Lewin Toned Booty Faptastic Bikini Raised Toward the Heavens in Miami

Just when you think Michelle Lewin can't taunt you with her bikini clad asstastic in any new positions, voila. Hello stretchy shiny thong bottoms barely covering sun-directed derriere in beach chair. It's like the world's greatest minds were brought in to brainstorm new ways for Michelle Lewin to give you a near heart-attack.

There's just something about this wicked hot thumper faptastic Venezuelan model that makes me want to commit to yet another gym membership. Monthly dues are tantamount to actually working out as far as I'm concerned. I would like to work on my sunscreen rubbing muscles should Michelle ever answer one of my email requests to be allowed to protect her rump skin from the brutal solar death rays of Mother Sun. I would emollient her booty with a fervor not seen since the days of Hercules. My hands would be chafed with utter satisfaction. Michelle, please write me back, my calendar is not filling up quickly. Enjoy.