Bikinis

Aurelia Gliwski Bikini Models Her Way Onto Egotastic! My Down Unders May Never Be Whole Again

Aurelia Gliwski. Thy name is Aussie hotness. I just had to share Aurelia’s introduction here on Egotastic modeling bikinis for a company called Skiny. Seems like an ambitious name. Sometimes I get emails from people complaining about, who is this so-and-so model you’re showing us, I’ve never heard of this nobody. But, I chuckle to myself and eat a Hostess Sno-Ball because I remember getting those very same emails for Nina Agdal, Emily Ratajkowski, and Kate Upton to name a few. Think of them as pre-celebrities. I’ve got a pretty good nose for these things. Eyes really. Plus, if you’re writing complaint letters about crazy sextastic girls in bikinis showing off, maybe you have too much time on your hands.

Back to Aurelia. Let us never leave her. She simply makes me want to be a better man. Or a richer man with a yacht called the S.S. Conspicuous Consumption that picks girls like Aurelia up for short jaunts to Cannes and Mallorca and the like. Oh, blonde bikini models, how you do move me so. Welcome to Egotastic, Aurelia, linger awhile while the billy boils. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Skiny

Kayla Lewis Red Thong Thumper Goodness in Malibu

Neither rain or sleet or snow, or, you know, 72-degrees and sunny conditions in Los Angeles winters, shall keep these bottled water slash voluminous bikini model photographers from making their appointed photo shoot rounds with more and more sextastic models in Malibu. Today, Kayla Lewis, who in a red thong looked about as masterful a pimping sweet body as any in this fine line of worked out and genetically blessed ladies lined up in two pieces or less to shill the H20.

Kayla has all the tools of the big time bikini model. The wicked hot perfect body. The long blonde flowing hair. That half smile that says, yes, you would like to party with me, but no, not until you pull up in an Italian sports car will that happen. Fair enough, for the gifts she’s giving with her preens and poses is party enough for this man. For now. Obviously, when it comes time for Bill’s Big Birthday Hot Tub Girls Only party, I’ll be expecting a different answer. How many hot nekkid girls can you fit into one above ground hot tub? If you have to ask, you’re not invited. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Amber Rose Wears A Tiny Pink Thong Bikini While Jet Skiing In Miami

Singer and tiny bikini enthusiast Amber Rose rode around on a jet ski in what can only be described as a couple of handkerchiefs worth of fabric. Amber is a kind and giving soul which is why she likes to show us all her amazing funbags and luscious booty. Her boobage is spectacular. They are the kind of ta-tas that could give a man carpal tunnel syndrome from handling them but it would totally be worth it. But it is perhaps Amber’s massive, beautiful booty that is most exciting. I know that it certainly gets my attention. I like a woman with some meat in her seat, if you get my meaning. My grandfather always told me that you can’t trust a woman with a flat ass. Those are words that I live by.

I do imagine she got quite the wedgie from riding a jet ski in that thong. But once again, that’s her suffering for our viewing pleasure. What a gal.

Photo Credit: INF

Amber Rose Doubles Down With Bikini Boobtastic in Pink and Yellow See-Through

Amber Rose certainly seemed in the attention getting mode this weekend in Miami. Maybe it’s to deflect the conversation away from her custody battle and onto things she clearly fully owns, like her big yams and thumper. I’d do the same if I had such sweet meaty diversionary tactics at my disposal.

Amber strutted about the Miami Beach resort areas in a revealing pink bikini top, followed not long after by a see-through yellow thong number that left little to the imagination, or a ton depending on how you look at it:

I’ll say this for Amber Rose, despite the rather complicated personal life, if she keeps hanging around the beach hanging out thusly, she probably won’t be waiting long before her next rapper romance. There is something to be said for spankability factor. Amber Rose has got that going on in multi-colors. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash/FameFlynet

Nikki Mudarris Orange Thong Curvaceous Hang Out in Miami

Love and Hip Hop reality show star Nikki Mudarris proved why maybe you could tolerate her show with the sound off, given the nature of her bodily assets which she showed off along the beach area pools in Miami. I’m not exactly sure what those mesh coverups are supposed to cover up, but they don’t do much. It looks more like Nikki got caught in the Egotastic trawling net, one of my lesser touted dating skills really. Catch and release with a little lovey dovey time in betwixt.

Nikki is another one of those alluring hot bodied ladies that give me pause when I universally condemn craptastic reality television. While it’s a forum for sharp ignorance and sideshow geekery, it’s also brought so many curvy naughty women in your our virtual ViewFinders I can’t hardly throw the sextastic babes out with the dirty bathwater. I’ll get my mind right on this at some point, for now, I’ll punish with the right hand and reward girls like Nikki with the left. I’ll do similar when alone. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Amber Rose Neon Yellow See-Through Bikini, It’s a Thing

Photo Credit: INF

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures Launch Victoria’s Secret’s 2015 Pimping Product Line

If it’s January, it must be Swanepoel bikini magic time. It’s hard to imagine but Candice Swanepoel has been ringing in the new year’s bikini fashions for Victoria’s Secret for about seven years now. I think it’s fair to call her a veteran angel at this point. It’s more than fair to call her an uber-sextastic bikini pimper of the highest order who just keep getting hotter and hotter. There’s something to be said for longevity. That thing is mostly ‘bless you, Candice’.

In yet another epic show of the world’s hottest swimsuit body, Candice comes out swinging for the fences, with booty and sweet boobtastic, for the January edition of the Victoria’s Secret catalog. I can see the allure both for the male of the species as well as the bikini buyers hoping they can pull any kind of Swanepoel mojo with their purchase of similar styles. I wish them luck. It seems daunting, but who wants to live without dreams? Especially those involving Candice and a slight sunburn on her bikini line that needs tending to. Hot then cold, then repeat. I don’t even need a compress. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret