Bikinis Posts:

Natalie Burn Bikini Booty and Hot Body Madness in Greece

Dancer turned Expendables 3 thespianic Natalie Burn makes a strong cases for wet bikini bottom sextastic of the day here on Egotastic! with her absolutely stellar toned beach body show off time on the beaches of Greece. I simply can't take my eyes off of her without imagining us doing a little Dancing with the Stars private edition in my rumpus room. No judges, no costumes, just lots of rumba.

Natalie reminds us that for every crazy hot celebrity we knew last year, there's an entirely new darling just coming onto the scene to give us hours and eyefuls of splendid views. It's the never ending wheel of the sextastic. Not a line. A circle. Often, lovely round circles on tops and bottoms of some killer hot brunettes if we're lucky. Today, we are very luck. Good show, Natalie. Enjoy.

Milena Cardoso and Fernanda Uesler Bikini Brazilian Buddies in Miami

Everybody has their own agenda for improving this planet. My plan involves more hot lithesome Brazilian models walking the earth in tiny bikinis. Laugh all you want, my plan is actually guaranteed to make people happier. Just look at how even Miami Beach has been kicked up a notch by the introduction of so many sextastic models from Sudamericana prance and preening on the beaches most days for no reason other than to spread visual joy and virtual happiness.

Fernanda Uesler and her sultry BFF Milena Cardoso made their way up and down the shoreline fixing each others swimsuits, giggling, laughing, and mostly just making men pleasantly uncomfortable in their swim trunks. A perfect day at the office really for these two suntanned bikini hotties. They need not do anything else and they are already what I would consider society's givers. Oh, those lovely little tushes, they are really giving the most. Enjoy.

Vienna Girardi Bikini Booty Lights Up Miami With Gentle Libidinal Squeezes

I can't remember if Vienna Girardi was the girl from The Bachelor or the Bachelorette or maybe I just made her up in my mind so I can stare at her delightful booty in and out of a pool in Miami. If there's one thing craptastic reality television has given us, while, albeit destroying our culture and intellect, is dozens and dozens of new hot lady bodies to ogle in bikinis whilst suntanning in various beachy locales. Without reality television, you'd have to visit a lot of bikini car washes and sports bars to see these same women now followed by paparazzi.

And thankfully so. Just check out that wet and wooly thumper on Vienna. Don't tell me that's not worth having all four networks overrun with banal inexpensive hybrid programming. It is. So long as there's the NFL package, TV will never be irrelevant. So long as there are inspiring bikini bodies like Vienna's, there will be room for reality TV as well. Can't we all just get along and leer at this lovely lady's booty? Enjoy.

Petra Benova Bikinis On Miami Beach

Slovakian beauty and sexy person Petra Benova looked stunning in a small bikini on Miami Beach. Sweet mother of toned abs she's in amazing shape. Petra is slender but very very VERY toned. Just look at the definition of her stomach or the cut of her hips above her private lady area. Breathtaking, y'all. She's got a pretty exemplary pair of knockers that look perky and perfect in her bikini top. But the real breaking news is what her booty looks like. Mostly out in the revealing bikini bottom, her pants hams are spectacular. There is nary a dimple or jiggle on that perfectly smooth booty. Just sublime butt muscles and smooth skin.

I don't know what they are doing in Slovakia to build such amazing women. Two of the hottest girls I personally know are Slovakian. Yes, that is anecdotal evidence, but we all must judge hottness through the lens of our own experience, right?

Rita Rusic Bikini Pictures GILFtastic in Blue

The ageless faptastic wonder Rita Rusic is back in Miami with what appears to be either her son or a very young boyfriend and since they're kissing a lot, I'm going to say very young boyfriend, and that superior veteran hot bikini body of hers. Wowzer, 53, 54, I can't do numbers right now calculating my eyeballs on to the veteran body that probably is as much a teacher as a soft set of happy resting pillows.

Rita Rusic reminds us that the sextastic isn't something that fades, it only really changes form, often in the most alluring ways. The idea of a 50-something woman turning heads on the beach in her bikini is just another check off on the list of why this world is ever so wonderful. Rita Rusic, you and your timeless knockers and sweet body are an inspiration, especially to my happy parts. Enjoy.

Beyonce Looks Hot in a Bikini Top in Portofino

Hall of fame hottie and Mrs. Jay Z, Beyonce, was looking incredibly sexy in a bikini top in Portofino, Italy. She and Jay are vacationing in Italy, like you do, when Beyonce wore this little colorful number. It's a shame that we don't get to see Beyonce in a bikini more often. We all know that she's got a killer body from the many scantily clad videos she has made over the years. Maybe it's because they live in chilly New York or that they just have really tight security when they go to the beach but it is definitely a rare sight. I would encourage Beyonce to let those funbags out for air while she's in Italy. After all, that's what the Europeans do and when in Portofino, so as the...er...Portofinians, (Portofinites?), do.

Beyonce and I are both from Houston and I've only been in the same room with her once. Unfortunately, she was fourteen and I was seventeen and Destiny's Child was performing in a high school gym. I remember thinking, "Man, that girl is going to be really hot someday." And so it was.

Elisabeth Moss Bikini Photos A Rare Italian Peggy Olson Ta-Ta Sighting

I know many a person who has a crush on Elisabeth Moss. If not before Mad Men where's she the unconventional looking, sexually progressive for the 60's office hookup, then certainly after the last six seasons or so. While Elisabeth is one of the more daring thespianics in Hollywood, willing to remove clothing for roles, we rarely get to see her mostly uncovered in public viewings, or as public as a balcony in Capri offers you while on a sunbathing European holiday.

We love seeing all of our favorite actresses reveling in their own bikini fun time, even the more publicly modest and not often thought of lovelies. Elisabeth Moss is not for everybody, but she is for a lot of somebodies, and in her pink bikini, I imagine that latter number is only rising. Enjoy.