Victoria Silvstedt Tiny Bikini Big Boobtastic For Veteran Blonde Hotness in Miami

Say what you will about Victoria Silvstedt the professional, she still maintains the powers afforded the statuesque bosomy blondes in our society, and rightfully so. Even now into the Forties and Faptastic club, Victoria is falling out of the skimpy undersized bikinis on the beach, showing what a combo of some science and a whole lot of working out and eating salads can do for a Swedish blessed genetic wonder into her veteran years. I suspect she will not have a hard time finding her next romance slash sponsor.

I once met Victoria Silvstedt and I literally lost my breath. I felt like a 12-year old boy again staring at a Playboy centerfold for the first time. I almost really was. It was just phenomenally empowering in a weak-knees and jelly-spined kind of way. Perhaps one of those defining moments that reminds men that we are but supplicants to the fairer sex. Perhaps especially so when they resemble Victoria in a bikini. But it’s a good helpless. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: INF

Bethenny Frankel Gold String Bikini for the Forties and Faptastic Collection

Reality star and author of many books I shall never even peruse, but good for her nonetheless, Bethenny Frankel, continues to show that there’s no reason being a mom in your forties shouldn’t equal being a put together veteran bikini lustable body at the beach in Miami. Maybe you’re no longer duking it out with the international set of 20-something models, but you’re holding your own, and making many men wish they could hold… nevermind. The point is, you’re not just getting by, you’re creating swell images for boys turning into men on the beach of female bodies. That counts more than another how to make the perfect salad book in my book.

There’s just something about the veteran celebrities with that certain twinkle in their eye. No need to coquettish giggles or the unwisdom of youth. Just a mature woman who knows exactly what she wants, when she wants it, and how she’s going to get it, in her bikini, naturally. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: INF

Kerrie McMahon Shows Off Her Booty On The Beach In A Bikini While In Malibu

The lovely Kerrie McMahon brought her A games to this shoot for storied water brand and purveyors in pictures of hot chicks 138 Water. She wore a tiny bikini that showed off her ample assets. Kerrie has a fairly spectacular rack which looks hindered by that mean ‘ol fabric and I think want to be free. But the real news is how her booty looks in these pics. Look at it, I mean really look at it. Study it and burn it into your memory for it is one of the great butts of our age. Normal women are not that firm and fully packed, my friends. It is only in the rarefied world of professional hot people that you  find booties of this magnitude.

But alas I do not move in those circles. I live in the rarefied world of guys who sit around writing about professional hot people. But a boy can dream…

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Stella Maxwell Perfect Booty In Black Bikini Photoshoot Not In My Backyard (Sadly)

I’m not sure what else Stella Maxwell is good at, but I can tell you she’s phenomenal at looking ridiculously hot in a bikini. That’s really more than enough. The young Victoria’s Secret bikini and lingerie model was dancing around a pool in Miami lifting her towel to reveal her heavenly booty and one outrageously alluring slender beach body. I’m assuming somebody was paying her to do this. The idea that she might twirl and pose thusly out of pure enthusiasm is almost too much for my libido to handle.

Oh, man, that behind on Stella needs to be turned into some kind of pliable putty toy for the office. A fidget of extraordinarily fun proportions. Right now I just keep cracking pencils. That’s an extremely small joy. To squeeze firmly onto the tight round mounds fashioned in the shape of Stella Maxwell booty. Well, I have a lot of issues to work out. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash/PacificCoastNews/INF

Sara Sampaio And Romee Strijd Apply Sunscreen While In Bikinis In Miami

Look, if you’re not going to check out your own asstastic, you can’t expect the oglers to do it all for you. Though I suppose I would clearly help out a woman in such need to the full extent of my albeit lazy powers. Young V.S. hottie models, the Portuguese Sara Sampaio, and the Dutch Romee Strijd, took a break from their photo work to tan up their hiney skin on the beach in Miami, ensuring that the SPF was evenly applied to all square inches of their tight little bikini bodies.

Once again, I’m reminded that if I were a girl with a body like Sara or Romee, I’d likely never leave my own bedroom, let alone my bathtub, where the walls would be lined with emollients, lubricants, and Sesame Street inspired play toys. That’s my thing. If I ever did hit the beach, I’m sure I would follow suit by continuously rubbing lotion across my hot body until at least ten men under fifty suffered cardiac arrest. The power these slender ladies hold in their bikinis is nearly incalculable. I hope nobody tells them. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: INF

Vida Guerra Thongs Like A Champ And Other Fine Things To Ogle


No one wears a thong like Vida Guerra. (TMZ)

Chicks taking scantily clad selfies in a mirror? Yes, please! (The Chive)

Scout Willis wears a see-through dress and it is good. (WWTDD)

Halle Berry proves she still has it in a short black dress. (Huffington Post)

Karmen Pedaru shows off her nekkid booty for Muse. (Drunken Stepfather)

Xenia Deli in a bikini will make your eyeballs sweat. (Hollywood Tuna)

Gisele Bundchen is covered topless for Stuart Weitzman. (COED)

Jessica Lowndes Bikini Body Perfection You Really Must Examine Closely

Jessica Lowndes quite quietly has one of the finest bikini bodies in all of Tinsel Town. You may not see her name routinely on lists or oglers clamoring for more Lowndes, but this striking brunette with the perfectly lady curved body holds her own and then some against professionals and amateurs alike.

Jessica isn’t the one keeping low key about her magical mammarial gifts either. She routinely posts photos of her sweet candidly passion inducing beach body to her Instagram account. I’m sharing them with you in the hopes that you start circulating her name among these best Hollywood body informal competitions. I mean, only if you agree with me. But take a look through some of her finer recent two-piece moments before you make your final decision. Knowledge is power. Knowledge of funbags, the fun kind of power. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram