Bikinis

Candice, Lais, Lily, Behati Bikini Up for the Victoria’s Secret Sextastic Swim Catalogue

Just because Valentine’s is over doesn’t mean Victoria’s Secret isn’t still churning at 110% in the pimping of tiny bits of clothing for women with stellar bodies. They’ve just now put out their crazy hot swim catalogue so that women everywhere can dream and men everywhere can dream even bigger.

Candice Swanepoel, Lily Aldridge, Lais Ribeiro, and Behati Prinsloo provide the wettest of sextastic bikini dreams in this smoking hot but highly moisturized catalogue of international female form goodness. You can’t see these pictures and not currently be booking your warm weather vacation. Or perhaps just considering perching outside the window of one of the Victoria’s Secret bedroom windows in a parka with a thermos full of schnapps prepared to dig in for the long winter. I choose both. Just to double my chances of winning. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Kendall Jenner Revealing Cleavy Swimsuit for Allure

Kendall Jenner is everywhere these days. This is a very good thing. We waited really quite a long time for Kendall to stop pretending to be a simple sort of not quite home schooled teen and become a full time exhibiting sextastic model. Now, here she is, specifically, here she is on the pages of Allure magazine flashing swimsuit sweet bodied goodness.

Kendall may not have the exotic look of many of the bigger names international models, but she certainly has the body and the ability to sell merchandise. At the end of the day, the bottom line is the only line that matters. Kendall moves merch. And if she has to show some T&A assure that result, then we are all the beneficiaries of that reality. Today, Allure. Tomorrow, maybe the Bill Swift Home Magazine. Not available in stores I assure you. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Allure Magazine

Pink Topless Almost to Save the Animals Almost

I support the animals to the extent that I can still eat them and look at all the celebrities getting nekkid on their behalf? Yes, I can have my calf and eat it too. Aww, cute calf. Yum veal. The point is, we can both win in this equation. Take for instance Pink, the latest famous person to take her clothes off and almost get nude to stop furriers from de-furring critters. I’m not sure it does much good, but I know it doesn’t do anything bad. And we get to see Pink covering her funbags with her knees. That has to count for something. Just ask the next skinned sable if he isn’t feeling just a little bit better about this world.

I threw in some Pink bikini pictures just to leave you with a good feeling. I hope no children were harmed in the making of her vacation fashions. Or animals. Bless us one and all. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Billie Faiers Bikini Cleavage Drops Filming With TOWIE Girls in the Canaries

The reality show phenomenon The Only Way is Essex continues to appeal in Britain for the very same reason they do in the U.S. or any other country in the word. Busty girls showing off their melons in scene after scene of manufactured reality. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, I like a little story with my prurient peeks and ogling. It helps to focus the eyesight.

Billie Faiers and her chesty cohorts made their way about various staged settings in bikini tops flashing all kinds of cleavage in Tenerife to remind viewers why they’re watching TOWIE instead of Sherlock Holmes or Downton Abbey. Consider us reminded. It’s elementary, my dear Watson. Sextastic sells. And these girls aren’t being pulled away from shooting for pressing movie roles. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Chanel Iman Wicked Hot and Barely Covered in GQ


If you happen to dig tall, exotic, hot American women, well, good luck with that. Though if you’re looking for a super fine fun time leering and ogling, you could do worse than Chanel Iman in her new pictorial for GQ South Africa. Damn you, arm bra, for cutting off some of the finer funbag views. And, yet, thank you blessed angels for providing some smoking hot visual wonderments of this underrated swimsuit and lingerie beauty.

There are so many crazy hot women in this world, sometimes I have nightmares where I simply have to forgo some. It’s really a horrible thought to me. Seeing Chanel Iman today reminds me that my work is never done. Mother Nature made some to be objects d’ lust, and others to make sure their gifts get noticed. If only she had developed a better pay grade for the latter. Chanel Iman, you could totally be my prom date and I’d get the nice limo. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: GQ South Africa

Kennedy Summers Tugs On Her Tiny Bikini Because That’s Just Crazy Hot

Kennedy Summers tease me not. Okay, I changed my mind, tease the hell out of me. The Playmate of the Year turned bikini model turned simply breaking you in half by way of lust inducement took her bottled water dollar turn out in the waves of Malibu, tugging on her tiny bikini because really somebody had to. Not like I didn’t volunteer.

This stellar sextastic blonde drives me all kinds of crazy in any and all poses and stages of just standing still and bring wildly hot. The tugging on the bikini business is just to see if you’re heart is strong enough for sex. Not with Kennedy Summers. Nobody’s heart is that strong, but whoever you’re so fortunate to be coupling. In her own way, she’s doing her part to elevate humanity. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Nina Agdal Shows Off Amazing Booty In Bikinis

The always lovely and boobtastically boobtacular Nina Agdal was looking hot as F in this photoshoot for a bikini line. Nina tried on several different provocative bikinis all with one thing in common: they made her gargantuan sweater hams look amazing. Just look at all the sideboob. It’s like sideboob paradise. And oh, the cleavage. Nina has some of my favorite hooters of any model out there and I should know because it’s my job to look at women’s boobies all day. They are just the perfect amount of big. I bet they look fabulous bouncing up and down when she’s running on the beach. In slow motion, of course.

What can I say? I grew up on Baywatch. All I know is that Nina can sure wear a bikini well. A little too well.

Photo Credit: Luli Fama Swimwear