Bikinis

Hethielly Beck Wears A Gold Bikini For A 138 Photoshoot In Malibu

Brazilian model Hethielly Beck used her considerable assets to shill really expensive water brand 138 Water. Hethielly, who has some mighty fine funbags, looks amazing in this gold swimsuit. It sort of reminds me of the metal bikini that Princess Leia sported in Return of the Jedi. To the men of my generation that’s the greatest compliment you can pay someone. But let me tell you about her thumper, my friends. It is unreal. It’s so taut and tight. You could bounce a quarter off her booty. Every day it seems that this overpriced water brand provides us with some wonderful things to look at. I am not sure if it is some kind of magic formula or if it’s some kind of holy elixir that bestows boobtacular powers.

What I do know is that it seems that anyone who drinks of this water is totally hot. Maybe I’m falling for some advertising hoobajoob, I don’t know.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Kelly Bensimon Shows Off Her Toned Body In A Black Bikini At Seminole Hard Rock

Oh, Kelly Bensimon. I so enjoy watching you coming out of the water in a teeny tiny bikini. I remember when I used to watch her Real Housewives show…you know…because my wife was watching it. Surely not because I was continually psyched to check out her jubblies. This woman is in her mid-forties for the love of boobage! How many ladies past the age of 22 can boast a body like that? And it’s not just her ta-tas, oh no. Her abdomen is out of control. But I also am very much a fan of her derriere. I am an old fashioned guy and I want my ladies to have some junk in the trunk, as 90′s rappers used to say. I think that is a term that needs to come back and I am going to use my forum here on Egotastic to do it.

In the meantime, I’m going to sit and stare at Kelly for a while.

Photo Credit: Splash

Amber Rose Bare Booty Balcony Boobtastic With Bitty Bikini

You know, considering how much malted beverage I consumed during the course of two football games this Sunday, I’m impressing myself with my ability to type with only my typical number of spelling and grammatical mistakes. As in many, but no more than usual. I just had to share these self-shared photos by Amber Rose on Facebook this evening featuring the shaved head model and former Kanye and Wiz Khalifa lady in just about the most undersized bit of bikini we’ve seen her in before, showing off on her Miami balcony. It’s quite a memorably visual moment. It’s just not a set of shapes you see all that often. It’s, well, it’s mesmerizing.

I’m not exactly sure how Amber even achieved the feat of climbing into this suit. I’ll assume levels and measuring tapes and protractors were involved. It’s rather ingenious really. Not to mention about as curvy as humanly possible without actually going full Humpty Dumpty. I’m impressed. And just a wee bit slack-jawed. Enjoy.

 

Cheyenne Tozzi Bikini Thong Bottom Paddle Boarding Delights

Cheyenne Tozzi and her wicked hot model goodness proves once again why paddle boarding deserves some kind of honorary award from the Gentlemen Oglers Association. Some girls have always tried their bodies at surfing, but it’s always been a small few. With paddle boards, we now have flocks of sextastic heading out to sea on boards with their thongs facing landward and their delicious bodies all covered in salty moist shimmering goodness.

Cheyenne is simply one sweet bikini body from Down Under. I’m not sure how her efforts to break into singing are going for her, I can say her efforts to be recognized as one super alluring thong asstastic on a paddleboard at the beach in Sydney is going quite well. I like simple. Hot girl. Tiny bikini. Paddle board. A recipe for visual wonderment success. Bless your thong, Cheyenne. It’s done good. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: INF

Colleen Shannon Shiny Bra and Hot Pants on Set For Your Shimmering Boobtastic Needs

Self-described world’s hottest DJ and most definitely hot bikini and sextastic model Colleen Shannon is making movies now. Something called Street, which isn’t nearly as important as the wardrobe she’s in for the film, a ring girl costume of bikini top and short shorts that shows off her fine female form. I really don’t need to know much more about this film. I’m in.

Colleen Shannon had a rough last year with some legal problems and the like. You know, the kind of problems that a smoking hot blonde tells you about and you sort of half listen because you know she could mention being in prison for multiple pre-meditated homicides and you’d still hit on her ferociously. Women always say they should’ve seen the signs, men see the signs and just don’t care. I can’t tell you which is better, or worse, I can only tell you I don’t need to see Colleen Shannon’s report cards to know I want to cuddle with her nekkid for a year in front of a a fireplace while a voice over a PA system orders us to make passionate love, or else. It might be my voice slightly disguised. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Joanna Krupa Bikini Pimping for Warm Feelings in the Equatorial Regions

Joanna Krupa really does have a body made for bikini show. I’m not the least bit surprised she keeps finding herself on the booking end of so many bikini pimping shoots. Just look at that blond Polski sextastic modeling that two piece bit of finery. I’m still not sure why the world needs 9,7883 different bikini lines, Skimpy Thongs by Bill ought to be enough for all occasions, but the multitude of merchandising lines does lead to a multitude of hot model shoots, so it’s all very good.

Joanna Krupa could model burqas and it would be hot. Seeing her frolic seaside with her epic tight booty and that absolutely perfectly toned veteran hot body, I’m tempted to dig into my rainy day fund and buy some bikinis of my own. I wonder if they’re selling the floor model after use in her modeling shoot. I’d dig a little deeper for that. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Cintia Dicker Bikini Models Her Own Swimwear Designers (Hint: It’s Amazing!)

Sextastic redheaded Brazilians don’t just grow on trees. Though if they did, I’d plant one, nurture it full time, and care for it as if my life depended on it until such time as the hot gingers started sprouting. That would certainly be convenient.

Cintia Dicker remains simply one of my favorite ginger models in the world. A standout fireplug with the au natural body of a goddess. A goddess who is constantly revealing her own fineries in various publications and pimping endeavors. Such as this venture where she’s modeling her own designed swimwear. Can’t really ask for more than that. Cintia Dicker showing off in things she made just to look amazing. I’d say it worked. I’ve ordered three dozen pair of everything. All I’m missing now is Cintia. I really need to find that tree. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Dicker Swimwear