Bikinis Posts:

Elisabetta Canalis Bikini Sizzle Time Day Before Wedding

I guess every girl gets over Clooney at some point. Former model girlfriend to The George, Elisabetta Canalis, got married to somebody who is probably more handsome and seriously banked than I am over the weekend in Italy. Just kidding about that more handsome part. As if such a thing even existed.

I give Elisabetta credit for getting the best revenge possible, which is to look absolutely amazing, have one sextastic fine female form, and giggle a lot and make many babies. I can definitely help with that last part in the event the new husband starts to fire blanks. Just saying, I made a future king of England, I can make a future Italian male bon vivant who doesn't need to know who his real father is. It'll make him more gritty and interesting and give me some Elisabetta Canalis stories to tell in my golden years. Good for you, Elisabetta. And, good for us. Enjoy.

Demi Lovato Bikini Boobtastic Fun Time in Miami

I'm not exactly sure why, but we hardly ever get to see young X-Factor judge and pop diva Demi Lovato in a bikini taking in some fun and sun relaxation time. Demi went through a lot of emotional rough time in recent years which probably took her out of the public R&R spotlight for a while, but what a treat to get to see her cleavage and crotchalicious in a bikini in Miami over the weekend.

So many have yearned for Demi Lovato for so many years now. She really does have a strong following of men who get a happy tingle every time they see Demi showing anything. So consider today's hot bikini reveal to be an off the charts tingle. Like a 6.4 on the Tingle Scale. Let it wash over you until your entire being feels just like a smile. I know, I should write for Hallmark. Demi, you look great. Thanks for coming back to us in a two piece reveal. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Bikinis Poolside in Miami

The lovely Eva Longoria was spotted lounging poolside in Miami in a small multicolored bikini. Eva is truly in tremendous shape. Her tight, toned stomach looks amazing. Eva also has a really nice pair of ta-tas. They are like the boobies Goldilocks picked, not too big, not too small, but juuuuust right. There is some nice cleavage action going on in these pics. But what I am all about is her booty. Good Lord, she has a nice booty. I remember admiring it years ago on Desperate Housewives and it still looks as good as it did back then. Some things just get better with age.

Eva is from the same town where my mom lives in Texas. Every time I'm visiting her I always hope I'm going to run into either Eva or her any number of younger cousins. It's yet to happen but I am still hopeful.

Jasmine Walia Bikini Piggy Backing for TOWIE Hot Body Shows in Dubai

When you really want to be noticed, go bikini piggy backing in Dubai, the resort of choice for British reality stars with well connected travel agents. The beaches are supposed to be amazing. Provided they have girls like TOWIE star Jasmine Walia flitting by carried by her bikini clad friend, I'd call that a pretty solid beach. Dredged or not, I care not when I see moist bikini booties.

Jasmine Walia is another of the upsides from yet another insipid reality show whose sole benefit to this planet is providing a means for girls with killer tubes to become famous enough to show off in bikinis and eventually make sex tapes. As far as benefits go, that's actually not too shabby. Seeing Jasmine having so much fun on the beach reminds me that everything in life is better when you have funbags to play with. Enjoy.

Elisabeth Moss Bikini Crotchalicious in Capri

Elisabeth Moss seems to be having a killer Italian resort vacation. We get to share in some little part of it every time she hits her balcony lounge in a bikini for a little sun and relaxation. Elisabeth has surprised us with a sweeter than perhaps expected natural bikini body that will only drive her current group of lusters further into the stratosphere of passion and fantasy.

As for us more grounded folks, there's a buffet of lovely views of the Mad Men star in various semi-exposing positions while still modestly arranged in her bikini. As I missed my own extended European yacht and coastal resort town vacation this season, I'm living my R&R through the bikini bodies and betwixt leg shots of some of our favorite sextastic celebrities. And even some unexpected newcomers, like Elisabeth Moss. All hail the bikini. Enjoy.

Michelle Lewin Bikini Toned, Shaped, Sculpted, and Killing Me Body Time in Miami

How badly do I want to play a game of Rumpity Do with Michelle Lewin in her sweaty little bikinis? Rumpity Do is a game I just invented this minute but already involves over a thousand different rules that can only be explained by me whispering into Michelle's ear while she does squats in baby doll lingerie. Wardrobe is most definitely part of the game.

Michelle has turned Miami Beach into her veritable hot bikini booty showcase this past year. It's like a mobile exhibit of the perfect junk in the trunk that moves up and down the beach with men suddenly desperate to become cultured. I know Michelle works hard on that thumper of hers. She earns her looks with sweat and grunts. Oh, man, sweat and grunts, that has definitely just been added to the Rumpity Do game play proceedings. Michelle, call me, let's get started. Enjoy.

Yasmine Colt Bikini Bodacious Pimping for 138

The 138 Water modeling hits just keep on coming. Now, Venezuelan hottie and recent addition to the Egotastic! library of the sextastic, Yasmine Colt appears splashing through the waters of Aruba in her bikini barely containing her sizable curves. I'm not really sure this is selling water, but I know for a fact I'm feeling rather parched in my reproductive regions.

We first saw Yasmine last week in her 138 bikini campaign shoot. Just such a pleasant introduction. It seems that will not be slowing down any time soon. Not with a body like that, built for exhibition. Pour some out for my spermies. Yasmine Colt is good eyeball living. Enjoy.