Bikinis

Kelly Bensimon Bikini Pictures Flashing Hot Veteran Mom Booty In Miami

I don’t care how much this Real Housewife has done to aid her own hot bodily cause, into her 40′s here and having pushed out some next gens into this world, Kelly Bensimon continues to have a bikini body worth wagging your tongue at as she passes you on vacation in Miami. All the youngin’s are in Miami flashing their international model plumes in thong bikinis. Don’t think the moms can’t hold their own, with Kelly’s nice and tight booty carrying her card into the land of must-see wonderments along the South Florida shoreline.

There’s no doubt this Real Housewives line of shows has been a horrible demented and destructive force of modern media, the results of which probably can’t be tallied until historians one hundred years from now trace the entire line of craptastic and its ensuring damage. In the interim, it’s brought us not many, but definitely a few older ladies for my hot mom fantasy pot that most definitely requires constant stirring. Well done, Ms. Bensimon. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet

Lauren Stoner Bikini Pictures Push the Tush in The Right Direction

Lauren Stoner has long since moved on from Michael Bay and has some new boyfriend, but what hasn’t changed is her long and lean killer bikini body completed with that ripe tight tush that makes her identifiable by even the casual gentleman ogler from behind at ten to twenty paces.

Lauren is a veteran model and reality show something or other from the area. She’s not going to let the stiff competition of outsiders flooding Miami Beach in their itty bitty bikinis topple her local pride crown. Come and get it, if you can, must be Lauren’s motto as she preens and struts across the beach knowing she’s got title like skills covered only by two tiny pieces of cloth. This South FLorida bikini Thunderdome just keeps getting better and better. Many lives may be lost, and I’m referring now mostly to the chronic fappers. So much good stuff this time of year! Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet / Splash News

Eva Longoria Bikinis Poolside in Miami

I’m certain Eva Longoria has some new man in her life and I’m certain I’m not going to investigate. Why ruin a perfectly good fantasy about Eva in her bikini asking me to sunscreen some spots she missed as she tells me about how people don’t realize how lonely life can be for a successful actress and model in Hollywood. Then I tell her I totally understand even though I don’t and I find some additional spots she missed with the lotion, some spots she didn’t even know existed.

Perhaps my mind wanders too much with such detailed journeys into the libido, but how can you not get carried away when this Latina hottie with her stellar bikini body is prancing about pools in Miami, just months away from joining the veteran hottie Forty and Faptastic club. Oh, my, I want to be her boy toy so badly. There is no job to menial or humiliating, Eva. I mean, I couldn’t bring myself to watch any of your shows or movies, but I would be willing to watch you watch. Clothing optional naturally. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet

Nicky Hilton Bikini Pictures in Miami

I’ve always felt kind of bad for Nicky Hilton. I mean, she’s a multimillionaire heiress so not THAT bad, but a little bad. She’s always lived in her sister Paris’ shadow instead of being seen and appreciated for her own copious hottness. I think she proved her worth as a professional sexy person in these pics of her chilling on Miami Beach in a tiny leopard bikini. I enjoy a good leopard bikini. It makes me think that they are in it to win it, if you know what I mean. Just look at that booty, y’all. It’s nice and shapely but tight, which is a difficult feat. She’s also got bigger funbags than Paris. All in all I think Nicky is the sexier of the two, but that’s just my opinion.

So, let’s give Nicky Hilton some respect. She’s her own person and is very much sextacular in her own right.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet / Splash News

Gisele Bundchen Bikini Twinsies With Her Little Sister in Costa Rica

If you’ve ever wondered what a bikini beach get-together looks like between supermodel Gisele Bundchen and her cutie little bosomy sister Rafaela, well, wonder no more. Thanks to state of the art technology known as the digital camera and airline travel, we now have a candid peek at Gisele and Rafaela cruising the upscale beaches of Costa Rica on a little December sisterly bikini holiday together. Presumably the babies and other people are somewhere too, but who really cares? This is all about two Brazilian sextastic sisters strutting the beach for our perusal. Though they may not know this.

As you proceed forth into your insane Christmas shopping this weekend, try to calm and soothe yourself with images of Gisele Bundchen in a bikini and her sweet little sister perhaps coming up to your beach hut and asking if you have anything to satisfy their needs. I make a mean mojito that comes with the right to savage me as they see fit. I’m a what happens in my Costa Rican mojito shack stays in the shack kind of guy, Bundchen sisters. Your dark secrets are safe with me. I won’t even sells photos of the welts around my groin to TMZ. They’ll be our personal happy memories keepsakes. Enjoy.

Photo credit: PacificCoastNews

Kat Torres Asstastic Bikini Booty in a Life Preserver, Just Because It Feels So Right

I’m going to presume this is another bottled water shoot, of the over one hundred I’ve counted to date, despite never seeing a single bottle of water on the shelves. Nevertheless, if blonde sextastic bikini babes like Kat Torres are going to wrap their spectacular booties in plastic life preservers with low cut tops along the shoreline, I’m definitely going to watch. There’s nothing wrong with a free ogling show of this variety, and so much that feels so very right.

I’m not sure who’s coming up with the wardrobe and posing ideas at this point, but a little credit for the plastic ring and wet bare thonged tush revealing the spectacular salt-moistened booty on this fine young lady. I’d glad consume that salt ring with a margarita after drying. See what you did there, Kat, you made me say something my mother’s going to scold me for later. She’ll tell me she thought she raised a gentleman and I’ll remind her that she also thinks professional wrestling is real. That’s how our family rolls around the holidays. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet

Behati Prinsloo Bikini Goodness And Other Fine Things To Ogle

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Behati Prinsloo sure knows how to sport a bikini. (Celebslam)

Kim Kardashian wears a crop top to Paper Magazine party. (Huffington Post)

Sara Malakul Lane‘s covered naked boob? Yes, please! (Drunken Stepfather)

Yara Khmidan‘s bikini body makes my mouth water. (Hollywood Tuna)

Usher charges his phone from hot naked girl’s vagina. Yup. (TMZ)

Isabeli Fontana in lingerie will melt your eyeballs. (Popoholic)

Is this a pic of Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss making out? Probably not. (Dlisted)