Bikinis Posts:

Lisa Opie Bikini Pictures And Yoga Stretches on the Beach in Miami

This new trend of hot bodied models performing yoga on the beach and parks is perhaps the greatest invention of the year. I don't suppose Time Magazine will recognize it as such, but Egotastic! is the official record of all things sextastic and seeing hotties like Lisa Opie doing downward facing dog on the sand in her tiny thong is making my chakra tingle.

I wouldn't advise these kinds of beach moves for everybody. In fact, I'm quite certain I couldn't attain half these poses even half the way. My elbow now cracks when I reach to fast for my next beer. But for bikini models with exquisite female forms, stretch and twist away, my dear. You're making the world a much healthier place, one exhausted gentleman ogler at a time. It's the season of giving! Enjoy.

Fernanda Uesler In A Batman Bikini On Halloween

Halloween is over but it doesn't mean we can't still enjoy Brazilian model Fernanda Uesler's fantastic Batman costume. Well, I guess it's Batgirl. Or is it Batwoman or Bat-American? I can't keep up. Either way, the caped crusader has never looked hotter. It's basically a teeny bikini with the bat symbol on the boobies, a cape, and a mask. The problem with dressing like Batman is that it's pretty covered up and unsexy, (except for the George Clooney Batman costume that had nipples). But it's a shame if you have an amazing body like Fernanda to keep it under wraps. That toned stomach, those lovely perky ta-tas, those long silky legs are meant to be seen and appreciated.

I'm sad that Halloween is over. Not just because I'm fat and like candy but because for a couple of weeks a year women dress in underwear and bikinis and call it a costume. Well, there's always next year.

Xenia Deli Turns Swimsuits into Sextastic Visual Treats

Xenia Deli remains the hottest women I've ever known from Moldova. I could expand beyond that geographically had I paid attention during my primary education years. She's just simply dark and alluring and hot bodied and all the things I dream about popping out of my cake on my birthday if I had awesome friends who were not so super broke all the time. Not that I don't love the six pack of Red White and Blue, boys, it's just not quite a supermodel with the passion inducing powers of Xenia Deli covered in nothing but streaks of frosting.

Featured in the new swimsuit look for Lemar Swimsuits 2015, yet, it's already 2015 in the fashion world, Xenia Deli is simply another world class stunner who makes every bikini and swimsuit look like it belongs only to the world of goddesses. Which is probably the case. Your wearing results may differ, as it were. As for me and Xenia, when we disappear on a desert island for the rest of the winter, please, don't come to rescue us, we'll be doing just fine. Enjoy.

Vivica Mitra Thong Swimsuit Pimping and Pleasing Hard on the Beach

Our sextastic half-Indian princess Vivica Mitra took another turn on the Malibu beach shoreline now almost entirely dedicated to daily photoshoots pimping the creepy 138 Water. I suppose we're buying into their crass promotional campaign by giving them coverage, but what's a boy to do when on a daily basis the likes of the hot Vivica Mitra in a thong swimsuit with that booty is thrust into our faces. Not literally thrust, and we are more really pulling it toward us, but you get the point. It's hard to resist.

Vivica, that swimsuit is simply one of the best man-made inventions ever. The body you're putting into it, one of the best bits of handiwork from Mother Nature. Combined, well, I'd have to show you my adult-rated pantomime to properly express my feelings. That thong, wow. Enjoy.

Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikinis On Miami Beach

Fitness guru and sexy person Jennifer Nicole Lee looked smoking hot in a pink bikini in Miami Beach. Jennifer is famous for having lost 70 pounds and turning magically into a serious babe. What's really amazing is that she did that and doesn't have stretch marks or saggy skin. She's as tight as a drum, yo. Jennifer has got some pretty serious funbags that are peeking out a bit from the bikini top. It's a good thing that she didn't lose any boob mass in her weight loss. That would have been a damn shame. She's also got a super nice set of legs. They are long and lean and oh so satisfying.

I tell you that if Jennifer was my fitness expert I would be going to the gym all the time. That's saying a lot. The last time I exercised it was to my mom's old Sweating to the Oldies tape back in 1993.

Anais Zanotti Heats Up Miami Beach In A Tiny Bikini

French model and seriously hot person Anais Zanotti was look particularly sexy in a blue and white bikini in Miami Beach. Anais has got some serious knockers. They are the kind of boobies that might give you carpal tunnel syndrome from handling them for a long time but it would be totally worth it. Her ta-tas look particularly nice in this teeny bikini where she is busting out all over. Anais has also got herself one grade A piece of booty. It's firm but round with nary a flaw. You've got to hand it to the French that they know how to live life right. They eat nothing but fried duck and cheese yet are super skinny and hot. How on Earth do they do it? I bet Anais had a big bowl of chocolate butter for dinner last night and still looks sexy as F.

It's too bad she isn't in her native France as she probably would have gone topless to the beach. Stupid American nudity laws.

Fernanda Uesler Bikini Body Tight Tall and Tan Pefection

Well, hello there, Brazilian hottie model splashing about Miami beach as if the ocean spray might just be groping you indecently, that lucky bastard. Fernanda Uesler forever looks beach ready and body perfect. The tall lean and tight bodied model reminds me of a mix between a beach volleyball player and the girl who used to run the Sno-Cone stand at the park when I was a little Egotastic and just beginning to understand the wonders of peeking down her top as she leaned in to scoop. I typically ordered far more than I could afford just for that affect.

Fernanda, your strut, your body, your everything is just absolutely beach sextastic. I wouldn't change a thing, other than to perhaps change the sky to my bedroom ceiling, lower the lights, and whisper to you in Portuguese something that translates roughly to, 'and now the butter too is made happy'. Enjoy.