Bikinis Posts:

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Perfect in Blue (With a Straw That Is Making Me Jealous)

I'm not above being fitfully jealous of an inanimate object. One such as that plastic straw the mighty MILFtastic Alessandra Ambrosio is sucking, chewing, and spinning around in her mouth whilst preening in her blue bikini across the warm Hawaiian sands. Even the hurricanes originally destined for the islands changed course when they knew it might result in one less day of seeing Alessandra barely covered in her little thong numbers.

I can't imagine a much hotter mom disturbing the otherwise tranquil heart rates of Hawaiian island vacationers than Alessandra. Those reflective sunglasses just complete the picture of super model allure. Damn, I could watch her all day. I've already spent half the day, not much more to go. Alessandra, bless you and motherhood and bikini makers and lucky bastard straws. Enjoy.

Genevieve Morton Downright Hot Bodied Deadly in Cleo Bikinis

Genevieve Morton miraculously keeps getting hotter and hotter with every round of bikini and swimsuit modeling pictures. In this latest round of visual wonderments starring her epically sextastic body, Genevieve uses every inch of her ridiculously curves to pimp out Cleo Swimsuits such that every lady in the world must be thinking, damn, I sure would like to look like that by the pool. I know I'm thinking a few hot damns myself just leering at Genevieve.

The competition is extremely stiff in Genevieve's modeling category. As our the men who view her. But I have no doubt with her work ethic and obvious gifts from Mother Nature, she's headed right toward the upper echelons. Also, she's now officially on my Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa card list. When she sees me and my dog Mr. Bonkers in matching bow ties, she's going to flip. Enjoy.

Jennifer Nicole Lee Loses Her Bikini Bottoms in a Hammock, Such Accidents Befall Her

Of all the bad luck, the world's worst bikini knotter, BBW turned MILFtastic fitness instructor Jennifer Nicole Lee, lost her bikini bottoms again from a clearly random wardrobe malfunction while trying to do something in a hammock that is really hard to explain. I spoke with Jennifer just a couple weeks ago and she told me the copious amounts of baby oil on her taut, muscular body at any given time tends to create these unfortunate incidents. Of course, she failed to mention why she's covered from head to toe in copious amounts of baby oil 24x7, not that I'm complaining. That is kind of the dream girl.

Someday, Jennifer's inability to properly stow her lady parts inside her swimsuits will result in a messy public exposure warrant and probably Jennifer on the lam across country in a Mustang convertible. At least that's how I imagine it going down as I ogle her bare, oily arse. Enjoy.

Catarina Sikiniotis Blue Bikini for Beauty Pageant Winning Happy Feelings in Greece

When you're half-Greek and half Portuguese and you're 19 and your name is Catarina, there's a solid chance I'm going to be drooling over your body when you hit the beach in your bikini. If you happen also to be the reigning Miss Portugal like Catarina Sikiniotis, then I'm going to need several drool bucks. Damn. Wow. And some other words I wish I knew how to say in Greek so I could whisper them directly into Catarina's ear whilst serving as her cabana boy on the beach.

Catarina reminds us that smoking hot sultry young celebrities are up and coming in every corner and crevice of the globe at any given moment. I'm sure Catarina is already quite well known among the men of Europe. Soon too I suspect among men around the world. That kind of sextastic can't be contained to a mid-sized archipelago. It's too explosive. Enjoy.

Lourdes Leon Bikini Pictures Seem Ever So Happy to Be in Purple

Lourdes Leon seems like a perky young lady. And why not have headlight happiness while relishing a summer vacation in Cannes. Granted, you have to hang out with your mom and her new boyfriend who is likely younger than you, but you get to hang out in a bikini for a couple weeks, cruise around on a yacht, swim in the warm Mediterranean waters,

Lourdes is still a couple months away from turning eighteen, you know, so even though she's smoking and going to college and jetting about the world in her bikini, we treat her with kid gloves. At least when staring at her wet bikini nipples, that seems like the most decent policy. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Pictures Wet, Wild, and Dripping with Hawaiian Excitement

What can you say about a wet bikini clad Alessandra Ambrosio other than, can I help you get wetter? Perhaps a bit crude, but there's little time to be wasted when in the presence of a pre-moistened supermodel fresh from a bikini turn in the waters off the coast of Hawaii where the CNN massive hurricanes failed to appear this week.

Alessandra isn't just a hot alluring mom, she's a wet crazy hot and outrageously alluring mom. I could bounce my naughtiest dreams off those abs of hers. A solid place to start in what would amount to a three hour tour of her long slender MILFtastic model body. Oh, Alessandra, I can't imagine the damage you're going to do to your kids guy friends as they get older. Like a walking lesson in how to become a man. Enjoy.

Lisa Opie and Ana Braga Bikini Pictures Go Four Hot Cheeks Wide in Miami

I'm not sure how to feel when I see two of my favorite bikini models from Miami joining asstastic forces on the beach for a bikini booty display of tingly proportions. I'm going to choose thankful, followed by elated, quickly followed by exhausted.

Lisa Opie and Ana Braga got together on the beach in their respective thumper baring thong bottoms to show the world of gentleman oglers the true power of the bare sun-drenched bottom. As if we needed any reminder of such power. Still, like spankings from hot girls in leather dominatrix suits, we can never learn our lesson often enough. I mean, that mine be more of my own personal experience. But Lisa and Ana bikini sextastic, that's a universal appeal. Oh, to have these girls strutting around my own private beach, the sand I truck into my bedroom, that is the dream. Enjoy.