Joanna Krupa Bikini Booty Cheeks Paddle Boarding

This is the week of hot buttockals peeking out of thong bikini bottoms along the beach. Well, every week should be this week, but this past one in particular we’ve seen a dozen fine sextastic celebrities showing off their tush meat in shorts and bikinis. Enter the asstastic of Joanna Krupa, the hot housewife of some Bravo city or another who spends half her life in bikinis, with the body to more than cover such wardrobe responsibilities.

Joanna splits her time between Miami and Los Angeles, showing off in both towns, this time, South Florida in a tiny bikini wrapped barely around her body as she took to some showoff exercise routines courtesy of the paddle board, our new favorite device for ogling the fine female form of so many ocean goers these days. Stroke, stroke, stroke. What? Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m instructing Joanna on how to improve her paddle board speed. Oh, yes, Joanna, a little more to your left. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Madison Reed In A Bikini (Yep, That’s Victoria Justice’s Little Sister)

Well, half-sister of our belusted Victoria Justice, a sister from another daddy, Madison Reed is quite ready to stand on her own at eighteen and looking mighty fine in a bikini that we may never see her older sister in. Could it be that Madison is a bit less demure than Victoria? If the stars are aligned properly, this will be so.

Featured on the site Made of Beautiful, Madison shows why her entry into the modeling game is more than just a semi-celebrity sparked bit of sideshow. This girl has some real chops. The Justice girls good looks, one stellar barely legal body, and the smile of a girl who’s still trying to figure this whole business out. It will come, Madison. All the greats eventually figure out the curve ball. And you, my dear, have some greatness in you. I know, I’m leering at you in a bikini. It is my crystal ball. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Made Of Beautiful

Keleigh Sperry Bikini Perfect and Booty Shorts Cheeky While In Miami

I guess you’d call Miles Teller a talented actor. The John Cusack of the millennials or something like that. More importantly and to our point, he’s done very well for himself with the ladies, as even nerdy successful young Hollywood thespianics do. Namely, young model Keleigh Sperry who looks rather damn incredible in a bikini top and booty cheek baring shorts hanging with her man on the set of his new movie in Miami.

Keleigh I’m sure appreciates the common, hard working man as much as the next wicked hot model with outrageously fine yum yums. But, somehow, Fate keeps driving these especially sextastic ladies toward the guys on the cover of magazines. Damn you Fate. This isn’t jealous, this is honest. Everyone deserves a girlfriend as smoking hot as Keleigh Sperry. But if that’s simply not possible and only one man can have her, it really ought to be me. I arrived at that decision rather objectively. Please respect the process. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Abigail Ratchford Nearly Busts Out Of Her Bikini During A Midnight Shoot

The queen of boobage, Abigail Ratchford, could barely contain herself in this late night bikini shoot. What mere piece of cloth can contain funbags of this magnitude. Of all the lovely ladies we cover here on Egotastic I think Abigail might be my favorite. At least as far as ta-tas go. I mean, seriously look at them. As much as I enjoy a good booty or a sexy pair of legs, I’m a boob man from day one. Is there anything more glorious in this world than a nice pair that you can motorboat until dawn. You might get whiplash with Abigail, but it would totally be worth it.

I have a birthday coming up and all I want is for Abigail to pop out of a cake and let me have one squeeze of those teetas. That’s not so much to ask, is it?

Photo Credit: Garry “Prophecy” Sun

Anna Ewers Bikini Swimsuit Cleavetastic Blond Goodness for Vogue and For Thee

German hottie model Anna Ewers showed off the simply sextastic powers of a pouty blonde with a perfect body modeling bikinis and swimsuits for Vogue UK. Yes, these images are meant for the female viewing audience of the style and fashion magazines. But since when does that mean they can’t be absorbed quite happily by both genders, including the leering set who isn’t here to buy, just ogle until exhausted.

Anna Ewers has been making her way steadily up the food chain of sextastic Euro models winning more and more big time magazize photo spreads. From the looks of her raw talent and bodily gifts, we are in for many treats over these never several years. Swimsuits become bikinis become lingerie become topless glamorous shots of Germanic female perfection. It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. Don’t take any long vacations, Anna. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Vogue UK

Ai Shinozaki Bikinis Simply Can’t Contain Busty Asian Super Goodness

Ai Shinozaki, you move me like few others can. Busty Asian girls being one of the clear signs of the existence of a higher power who happens to love crazy alluring women, Ai stands out as a bikini model extraordinaire from the Far East to the very new tingly feelings just below the belt.

I can’t imagine a world where Ai Shinozaki isn’t creating visual wonderments of the bouncy boobtastic variety daily. I also can’t imagine not sharing her across the sea talent with everyone here in the Western World who needs a couple shots of Shinozaki if you know what I’m saying. Not every girl looks this spectacular in a bikini. We need to highlight it, praise it, and what you do from there is between you and your diary. Though I’d burn the diary daily. Ai, you are filled with the power to make men feel rather warm inside. Bless you heart and all the goodness that surrounds it. Enjoy.

Natasha Oakley Lounges In White Thong Bikini While Devin Brugman Takes A Dip In Tiny Bikini

Hotties Devin Brugman and Natasha Oakley were spotted looking sexy as F in bikinis at the beach. Natasha wore a skimpy white thong bikini that left little to the imagination. That’s fine with me because my imagination isn’t that great. Her delicious booty was looking mighty fine. Natasha’s butt is so perfect that scientists use it to calibrate their butt measurement instruments. Not to be outdone, Devin had on an equally skimpy bikini but with her the news was all up top. The fabric could barely contain her massive yum yums. They were popping out all over. Oh yes, there is sideboob and cleavage enough to go around.

It always surprises me when really really hot people hang out together. I sort of think of them as solitary nomads wandering in the desert of those of us that aren’t hot.

Photo Credit: Splash