Bikinis Posts:

Michelle Lewin Bikinis On The Beach in Miami

Famous hot person Michelle Lewin strutted her considerable stuff in a tiny blue bikini on Miami Beach. Michelle has some big ol' boobieballs. Like, the kind that might give you carpal tunnel syndrome if you handle them too much. The poor bikini top is stretched to its limits trying to manage those behemoths. But to no avail. They are popping out all over. The bottoms also are having a hard time keeping her wonderfully large and shapely booty in. Lucky for us, her butt is almost all out for our viewing pleasure. She's in incredible shape, as you can see from her tight stomach. Her abs are ridiculous. But my favorite part of Michelle is the sea of freckles that adorn her chest.

I have a thing for freckly girls. It probably has to do with my first lady sex partner who was covered in them. I try not to reflect too much on it.

Rachel Hilbert Bikinis For Victoria’s Secret In Miami

Professional hot person Rachel Hilbert bikinied her little heart out for Victoria's Secret in Miami Beach. She wore a variety of spicy numbers that showed off what her mama gave her. My personal favorite is the one with the leopard top and pink bottoms. They go a long way in showing off that amazing booty and boobie combo. Rachel is one of those hot girl next door types, if you live next door to an obscenely good-looking family. My neighbors don't look like that. They look more like Abe Vigoda. But I digress. Rachel's got that coquettish vibe going that's oh so naughty. I look forward to ogling her when this Victoria's Secret catalog comes to the house. Luckily, I am home for a few hours by myself with the mail before my wife gets home.

That's Jack's me time.

Andreea Diaconu Shows Off Her Bikini Body In Maui

Romanian model and girl of my dreams Andreea Diaconu was sexy as F in a black bikini in Maui. The bikini looked like some kind of hybrid between a bathing suit and black bondage gear. While normally this wouldn't do anything for me, it really works well to get the old juices flowing. Andreea has got herself a perfect pair of ta-tas. The kind you want to frame and put on the wall of your office so you can admire them all day. I don't know much about Romania, other than their problems with Draculas, but I do know that every time I see a model from there they are always extraordinarily beautiful. Andreea has got some dead sexy eyes that only enhance the fact that she has a butt that does not quit.

It must be nice to live in Maui where women dress in bikinis year round. Boobs, nice weather, and coconuts? That's why it's paradise.

Metisha Schaefer And Her Booty Bikini Poolside In Miami

German model and certified hottie Metisha Shaefer showed off her goodies in a tiny leopard print bikini in Miami. The small top showed off plenty of cleavage and just a hint of sideboob for our viewing pleasure. Metisha has a nice medium sized rack for when you are in the mood for something not too big or small. Her boobs are the grande sized latte of the boob word. But the really exciting news was happening south of her waist as the bikini bottoms displayed her perfectly pert booty. I do so love a girl that's skinny but has a nice little round bubble butt. It's pretty amazing. Her booty is the height of German engineering. It's the equivalent of a BMW but, you know, a booty.

Add to that a sexy leopard print and you've got yourself some sexiness situations. Is there any hotter pattern than leopard print? It boosts any woman's hottness factor by 10%.

Olivia Culpo Waiting For Nick Jonas In A Bikini

Former Miss USA and current Nick Jonas sex friend Olivia Culpo was spotted in Miami wearing a tiny white bikini. Her pageant winning curves were on full display. Olivia has has a nice pair of lovely lady plums that looked particularly nice in this tiny top. She certainly wins the swimsuit competition...of my heart. Also she's got a miniscule bottom that is very tight on her. How tight? Well, let's just say that she has a bit of the toe of the camel going on downstairs in her business area. Olivia is really hot, though. Like, seriously hot. You have to wonder what better thing Nick Jonas had to do that he was keeping her waiting around?

These kids today, I tell ye. In my day, sexy chicks were hard to come by and you didn't keep them waiting. Then again, I was never a rock star...or whatever you'd call a Jonas brother.

Bethenny Frankel Blue Bikini Show in Miami

I'll admit that Bethenny Frankel is not necessarily a woman I'd trust to take care of my children. But, I don't have any, so I can quite more innocently say, I simply do admire her 40-something mommy bikini shape as in this little blue number she wore strutting by the pool in Miami.

Granted, it's not all natural, I'm not even sure how much is, but the end results are hard to argue with. A swell set of MILFy funbags, a tight tush, and a lean stomach. Check, check, and check. I'm not saying I want to marry the woman. That does seem like eight-months of unnecessary commitment, but I am saying I would mind helping this sextastic bodied mom rub on some aloe after a day in the sun. Does that make me a bad person? It does not. And I'm not going to share with you what does. Enjoy.

The Girls of Fifth Harmony Bikini Show Off Poolside in Rio

I'm going to be straight with you. I don't watch the X-Factor. The last all-girl band I can name for you is the 16th century Celtic ladies choral ensemble. And I'm not going to take the time to learn each of these girls names in Fifth Harmony. Not because I don't care, but because more proudly so, I'm super lazy and will wait another six months to see if Simon Cowell has grown them into something sustainable.

That all being confessed, it's not like I'm not going to share bikini photos of these girls down Rio way delighting in some bikini pool time prior to whatever silly concert thing they have scheduled in front of screaming Brazilian teens. I am all about sharing, except for one or two of these girls who have turned eighteen and I'd have to say I've claimed for my own virtual harem. You get your own. Enjoy.