Jessica Alba Oiled Up For Shape Magazine

Legendary hottie Jessica Alba was looking tanned and toned in a bikini spread for Shape Magazine. It’s no wonder that Shape wanted to do a spread with Jessica because her shape is bangin’. The first thing that you notice in these pics is, of course, the famous Jessica Alba boobies. I’ve been a fan of them since I first saw them in the skin tight bodysuit she wore in that terrible Fantastic Four movie she was in years ago. She almost spills out in several pics which give us not only some spectacular cleav but also some delectable sideboob. Jessica’s legs are also a thing of beauty. I wouldn’t mind caressing those bad boys late into the night. Oh, to be a drop of pool water on those thighs.

I’m going to buy several copies of this magazine and wallpaper my closet with it. That way I can always step into my closet to reflect on the beauty of Jessica’s yabbos.

Photo Credit: Shape Magazine

Ela Rose Wears A Tiny Bikini In Malibu

Well, hello there Swedish hottie model Ela Rose. I miss every day I don’t see you and your ridiculously hot body poking around the beach in a bikini or less. I may not say it often enough, and my creepy crayon written letters may continue to be confiscated by the authorities, but trust me, Ela, I am always thinking of you.

The blonde haired devilish delight took to the beaches of Malibu in a tiny white bikini to flash her just outrageously hot body and pimp some more of the bottled water I’ve never seen anybody buy or consume ever. That’s a ‘you’ problem, not a ‘me’ problem. This me is quite reveling in the sextastic wonderments of Ela’s perfectly squeezable booty and the funbags of a heavenly body. I’m just kind of mesmerized. I’m feeling the opposite of parched. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Hethielly Beck See Through Top And Bikini Bottoms

Hottie Hethielly Beck is back and baring her wares for the creepily mysterious bottled water company. I’m not a big fan of the floppy hats and glasses, though I do understand the need for UV protection, but in contrast consider me a mega fan of bikini bottoms and see-through tops that provide a sweet glimpse of Hethielly’s treats.

I’ll say this for the odd folks at 138 Water, everyday somewhere on the beach in Southern California is a half-nekkid smoking hot model posing with their bottles. To what end other than us gentlemen oglers reaping the visual benefits of stimulation and circulation? Like I’ve ever asked myself that question seriously. Hethielly, keep up the good work. Your body needs to be shared with the world, but if that seems like to broad a goal, let’s just start with me. Screw the rest of the world. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Michelle Rodriguez White Bikini Hot Climbing, Diving, Flashing Curves in Cannes

Oh, about once a year precisely in May, the lovely Latina Michelle Rodriguez slips into her bikini and takes a watery dip around the cliffside resort of Eden Roc outside of Cannes just to remind everybody that her body is still more than bikini ready, and look out guys and lesbionic girls, because Michelle will have what Michelle wants. Man, how en fuego is that?

This year Michelle led off with a white bikini around her athletic, but curvaceous form. Climbing the rocks at the seaside venue just to show off her prowess of diving, scaling, and ultimately arousing oglers of all varieties. She really does know how to steal a scene, even off-camera. I admire the heck out of Michelle Rodriguez. I imagine we could be good friends, the kind where one punches the other one in the bobos for trying to make an inappropriate move after a couple beers and when a hair band ballad comes on the radio. The heart is a funny thing. Well bikini played, Michelle, dive away, nymphet. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Tamara Ecclestone Busty In Bikini Top While Mommy Walking The Promenade In Cannes

If you though F-1 Racing heiress Tamara Ecclestone was going to cut back on her South of France boobtastic displays of exhibition post entry into the world of MILFhood, well, think again. Or look again. The brunette sister of the pair of wealthy now married mommy daughters both was cruising down the promenade in Cannes showing off her finest achievement. No, not her baby. Those Funions almost spilling out of her bikini top. Old habits are hard to drop. Especially old habits involving relatively new ta-ta’s.

Tamara Ecclestone has always fallen into that sextastic category of girls who always seem like they’re about to have a wardrobe malfunction, but somehow nature and science combine illicitly so to prevent a total unfurling. Someday our ships will come in. For now, I’m quite content to follow Tamara and her bikini top stroller of goodies and leer respectfully. Hey, she’s somebody’s mother. Mmmm. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Michelle Lewin White Bikini, Red Hot Fitness Body (And That Nut Cracking Thumper)

Michelle Lewin, thy name is asstastic. The Venezuelan bombshell turned American fitness instructor and all around arse-shaper to the stars and would-be stars, doesn’t need any more advertisement for her services than preening, posing, and hoisting her moneymaker in the air and declaring her shop open for business. Do you want a body like Michelle Lewin’s? Well, naturally, I’d have to take it for a test drive before making and formal decision.

Michelle and her thumper extraordinaire took to the beach in Miami in a white bikini to signal to gentleman oglers along the sandy strip that you might as well surrender, her keester owns your soul. The tight muscular body on Michelle Lewin might scare many lesser men, but for me, I see it as a challenge. How badly can I beg for mercy without Michelle actually stopping her domination of me in her two piece. We wouldn’t want that. My safe word with Michelle is ‘harder, oh, god, please don’t stop hurting me.’. That’s actually a phrase, but it works. She’s so righteously fit. I think I might cry, if it’s allowed, Michelle. I love rules. No tap outs. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Sienna Miller Tugs On Her MILFtastic Bikini In Cannes

Someday I’m going to get me to that Eden Roc hotel outside Cannes where all the luscious lovelies stay during the film festival. Park my yacht the S.S. Egotastic offshore and dinghy into shore for the sights and sounds and smells of all the beautiful women hanging by the rocky side pool along the Riviera. Sweet mommy hotties like Sienna Miller not far removed from entering MILFdom and flashing her sleek bikini body in a bikini that required extensive tugging to stay put on her ready to make more babies body. It’s not the tugging that gets you, it’s the release.

Sienna seems like she’s been a thespianic sextastic for so long now, but she’s really just been on our radar for the past ten years since finding handsome baldie in bed with the nanny and then moving on to bigger and better things, including more skin reveals that aided our falling in lust with her. Sienna, on behalf of men who leer at moms everywhere, bless you and your little bikini. If you could use an extra hand for those tugs and adjustments, let me know, I’ll snorkel ashore. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash