Bikinis Posts:

Rita Rusic Bikini Pictures GILFtastic in Blue

The ageless faptastic wonder Rita Rusic is back in Miami with what appears to be either her son or a very young boyfriend and since they're kissing a lot, I'm going to say very young boyfriend, and that superior veteran hot bikini body of hers. Wowzer, 53, 54, I can't do numbers right now calculating my eyeballs on to the veteran body that probably is as much a teacher as a soft set of happy resting pillows.

Rita Rusic reminds us that the sextastic isn't something that fades, it only really changes form, often in the most alluring ways. The idea of a 50-something woman turning heads on the beach in her bikini is just another check off on the list of why this world is ever so wonderful. Rita Rusic, you and your timeless knockers and sweet body are an inspiration, especially to my happy parts. Enjoy.

Beyonce Looks Hot in a Bikini Top in Portofino

Hall of fame hottie and Mrs. Jay Z, Beyonce, was looking incredibly sexy in a bikini top in Portofino, Italy. She and Jay are vacationing in Italy, like you do, when Beyonce wore this little colorful number. It's a shame that we don't get to see Beyonce in a bikini more often. We all know that she's got a killer body from the many scantily clad videos she has made over the years. Maybe it's because they live in chilly New York or that they just have really tight security when they go to the beach but it is definitely a rare sight. I would encourage Beyonce to let those funbags out for air while she's in Italy. After all, that's what the Europeans do and when in Portofino, so as the...er...Portofinians, (Portofinites?), do.

Beyonce and I are both from Houston and I've only been in the same room with her once. Unfortunately, she was fourteen and I was seventeen and Destiny's Child was performing in a high school gym. I remember thinking, "Man, that girl is going to be really hot someday." And so it was.

Elisabeth Moss Bikini Photos A Rare Italian Peggy Olson Ta-Ta Sighting

I know many a person who has a crush on Elisabeth Moss. If not before Mad Men where's she the unconventional looking, sexually progressive for the 60's office hookup, then certainly after the last six seasons or so. While Elisabeth is one of the more daring thespianics in Hollywood, willing to remove clothing for roles, we rarely get to see her mostly uncovered in public viewings, or as public as a balcony in Capri offers you while on a sunbathing European holiday.

We love seeing all of our favorite actresses reveling in their own bikini fun time, even the more publicly modest and not often thought of lovelies. Elisabeth Moss is not for everybody, but she is for a lot of somebodies, and in her pink bikini, I imagine that latter number is only rising. Enjoy.

Coco Bikini Pictures Crack-A-Ass-Lacking in Barbados

There's nothing modest about Coco. I think that's her intention. The big booty curvaceous model and reality star has been flashing her super sized cans this entire week in Barbados, where the local Caribbean natives are respecting her as the legendary pale goddess of fertility. I'm sure they don't often see such dramatic cheeks on the tourist class coming down to revel in the white sandy beaches and extra-strong rum punch.

Though most of her bikini becomes swallowed up somewhere in her lady curves, I'm pretty sure Coco is donning a leopard print number for her latest unable-not-to-leer romp across the beach. She really is a rather unique specimen. I'd have to imagine she's getting an entry in the medical dictionary under Whooty Ginormous. It's all fun and games until a child gets smothered under her cheeks. Enjoy.

Jordana Brewster Bikini Tops and Bottoms Mommy Faptastic in Hawaii

We simply don't get enough chances to see Jordana Brewster showing off her lovelies. The Fast and Furious actress maintains one of the finest au natural bodies in Tinsel Town, even and especially post-MILFtastic, but she's rarely in the public eye and even more rarely out and about on the beaches of Hawaii preening about in a little wet bikini. Oh, my, that is a nice little leering view of Jordana Brewster's perfect 30-something mommy keester. I wish I could frame it and put it on my wall and then slap it every time I needed good luck like the Fighting Irish before running onto the field. It's perfect.

Jordana Brewster and her slender un-enhanced body may not be for everyone, but for the discerning connoisseur of fine semi-Latina ladies with swimsuit model lineage, oh, man, she really is right up there with some of the best. We would make many babies together, in rapid succession. Enjoy.

Milena Cardoso And Fernanda Uesler Bikinis At The Beach In Miami

What's better than a Brazilian model frolicking at the beach in a tiny bikini? Two Brazilian models frolicking on the beach in tiny bikinis! That's what makes these pics of Milena Cardoso and Fernanda Uesler's day of fun, sun, and boobies in Miami such a treat. Milena wore a small black bikini that barely covered up her naughty bits and perky ta-tas. She's the definition of slender hot. Her tanned body looks amazing in almost anything or nothing at all. Oh, if only it were one of Brazil's nude beaches instead of Miami Beach where the man makes you keep your clothes on. Still, we have Fernanda to look at in her colorful string bikini. She has a booty that can only be described as exemplary. Like, all the booties of the world should collectively aspire to be more like Fernanda's caboose.

I'm not sure what they put in the water down there in Brazil to make such hot women but I know I plan on going to Rio to find out.

Lisa Opie and Her Bikini Booty Perfection Returns to Miami

What you may not understand is that I openly cry like a girl child when I don't see my favorite sextastic celebrity bodies for any extended period of time. That would be about ten minutes, plus or minus eight. Really, just minus. Being away from the sight of Lisa Opie and her faptastic bikini body, that tight booty of absolute spankable perfection, well, wouldn't any man break down into an infantile state? She's my mid-summer's ice cream cone at the state fair. When that ice cream topples to the ground, I simply can't be soothed.

Lisa, whatever you're doing, please do more of it. This is the time when all good women must sacrifice what they can so that those who will not won't be a complete wet blanket on the gentleman ogling experience. Bless you, Lisa Opie. You're a fine young lady. Enjoy.