Bikinis Posts:

Sylvie van der Vaart Bikini Body Sextastic Simply Won’t Quit the MILFtastic Show in St. Tropez

Okay, I know she's been divorced for a year now or so, and at some point I'll remember her maiden name, but Sylvie van der Vaart will never leave the scope of my libidinal desires for hot Dutch moms with blonde locks and perfect bikini bodies.

Sylvie has been in St. Tropez the past week prancing across the exclusive sands of the Southern French resort town, exhibition one of the finest former-WAG MILFtastic bodies on the continent. I do believe this is her fifth different bikini by my reckoning. Just the thought of her picking out which of her multitude of fine two piece swimwear will best complement her wicked hot body is almost too much too handle. I sure would like to help her pack. I bet that's fun. Oh, Sylvie, you're single, I'm single, we have so much in common, this should absolutely work. Enjoy.

Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Stripes Sextastic Off Spanish Isles

I can't think of anybody having more fun this summer than Michelle Rodriguez.. Bikini splashing across the Mediterranean, making stops in various ports of call to show off in her bikinis, jump off the port bow, and make love to men and women and probably a few sea nymphs in betwixt.

Michelle's latest stop was Ibiza where she's intermingling with the massive celebrity population on the vacation island, but making sure not to take life too seriously. It's hard not to admire Michelle and her general upbeat playful attitude, if not gawk and leer at her taut female form and how openly she expresses her body language of play time. I bet she's be a fun vacation buddy. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Bikini ‘Toe’ and Hot Booty Flashing in Italy

I haven't really kept up with Eva Longoria and her busy love life of late, though I do believe she remains one of Hollywood's most eligible bachelorettes with money, power, and a slamming bikini body with a sultry Latina flair. The trifecta of the perfect woman.

Eva has been vacationing with some dude or another in Italy, and took time out of her tourist schedule to show off her bikini body by the pool at her resort. Oh, yes, Eva Longoria has still very much got it. Frontside, backside, topside, downside. There's not an inch of Eva Longoria I wouldn't bathe to slather in lotion and then later insist that yes, that really is just lotion, now close your eyes and go back to sleep. Eva does include some pretty naughty thoughts. Enjoy.

Gisele Bundchen Bikini Body Hotness In the Dog Days of Summer

Every now and then I'll see one of those articles about how Gisele Bundchen is the highest paid model in the world each year and then I'll kind of wonder and then I'll see her in a little showy outfit or bikini again and remember, oh, yeah, that's why. Not only is Gisele super famous and celebrity and pimping the shizz out of twenty different merchandise lines at any given time, but she's the original big time Brazilian supermodel. The girl who brought that specific sultry look to the pages of pretty much every single major fashion and beauty magazine across the planet. Marrying famous and such didn't hurt, but it's Gisele's long lean lust inducing body and ability to photograph hot in anything that made her the kazillionaire she is today.

Seeing Gisele in a two piece prancing across the beach with her pooch just reminds us, even in stupid floppy hats, Gisele is a standout among the multitude. Supermodels don't just grow on trees. But, man, if they did, how I would plant one this second in my backyard and raise it with the care of a nervous mother. Enjoy.

Francia Raisa Bikini Birthday Girl for Underrated Hottie Appreciation Day

Every day should be underrated hottie appreciation day. Why not. While the girls who are universally honored in song and faptastic dance are ever sextastic, it's often the girls who don't get the pub who I imagine jumping out of my birthday cake. Or me, their birthday cake, if the cake be of substantial girth.

Francis Raisa had a little birthday party for herself in Malibu and decided to wear a bikini top to show off her sweet and bosomy 20-something body as it turned a year older. Just watching her blow out the candles made me hope she was wishing for something really naughty and obscure. Like a blogger who is poetically promoting her goodness. That would be me, Francia. Save some blowing. That sounded wrong. But I'm not taking it back. Enjoy.

Jessica Impiazzi Topless TOWIE Sunbathing Uncensored and Off the Racktastic

 

Reality TV giveth and it taketh away. We know what it takes away. Our humanity. Our souls. And our dignity. But, perhaps a small price compared to what it has given us. A stable full of attractive young women with major league bazoongas competing for worldwide attention. That's never been a bad thing.

The Only Way Is Essex in the U.K. has brought us a whole gaggle of young curvaceous hotties with not much on their minds, but oh so much on their bodies. Or in the case of Jessica Impiazzi on holiday, not so much on her body as she removed her bikini top to reveal just a stellar pair of Funions in need of a little sunshine. Oh, my, those are passion inducing peaches. Jessica, thank you. Reality television, thank you even though you know not what you do. Even a broken clock shows off its ridiculously hot bare body twice a day. Enjoy.

Bruna Marquezine WAGalicious Brazilian Bikini Booty on a Yacht in Ibiza

Well, Neymar, you did lose the World Cup and hurt your back, but Bruna Marquezine in her bikini on your yacht in Ibiza seems like a fairly nice consolation prize. All I got after the World Cup was about three bucks in recycling returns. Bruna seems like a bigger win.

Bruna Marquezine lists herself as a teen actress and I'm not sure about the acting part, but the barely legal status seems to be verifiable. As does the Sudamericana booty Bruna was showing off in her skimpy bikini bottoms. I have to respect Neymar for going solid rump in his selection of pretty much any young model in the world he could have as his girlfriend. Being an ass-man speaks to integrity. Bruna, you are so much better than a silly tin cup. I'd take a flop on the pitch for you any day. Enjoy.