There’s not all that many real parts left to the Real Housewives ladies who have a penchant for the distilled beverages and going under the knife. That being said, you could do worse as a teen boy than living next to mom who has righteous fake funbags and a bikini body that will in the least get you thinking about where babies come from. I remember being fifteen and I don’t recall discussions among the buddies about whether or not the hot moms in the neighborhood were real or not. Nope. Singular was the mission and thoughts.
Alexis Bellino stars on the Orange County version of the horrific Bravo! reality series featuring drunken moms, parolees, and home wreckers. It’s a sad cynical venture, but, bikinis and bleached blonde hair and big tubes have to count for something among the 40-something divorcee mommy crowd. There is not merely one avenue on the road map to the sextastic. Everybody gets there by way of a unique journey. There’s nothing wrong with a busty neighbor mom who begins throwing them back early in the morning. Hope springs eternal. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Splash
Zoe Kravitz has been showing up more and more wearing less and less of late. This is a good thing. The second generation sultry celeb has quite the naturally lean and mean passion inducing body which she brings to bear in her film roles as well as on the pages of magazines such as the current issue of GQ. Just a bikini and a whole lot of attitude for this back to nature minxy siren.
It’s easy to forget about Zoe Kravitz in your various tops lists of hottie dream girls. She does tend to disappear for extended periods of time where she gets missed, then lost. But when she makes her return in little animal bikinis, you can count on a whole flood of prurient emotions rolling back in. That’s how it is with all the good girls. Even more so with the naughty girls. It’s all about anticipation. Well done, Zoe. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: GQ
Legendary hottie Jessica Alba was looking tanned and toned in a bikini spread for Shape Magazine. It’s no wonder that Shape wanted to do a spread with Jessica because her shape is bangin’. The first thing that you notice in these pics is, of course, the famous Jessica Alba boobies. I’ve been a fan of them since I first saw them in the skin tight bodysuit she wore in that terrible Fantastic Four movie she was in years ago. She almost spills out in several pics which give us not only some spectacular cleav but also some delectable sideboob. Jessica’s legs are also a thing of beauty. I wouldn’t mind caressing those bad boys late into the night. Oh, to be a drop of pool water on those thighs.
I’m going to buy several copies of this magazine and wallpaper my closet with it. That way I can always step into my closet to reflect on the beauty of Jessica’s yabbos.
Photo Credit: Shape Magazine
Well, hello there Swedish hottie model Ela Rose. I miss every day I don’t see you and your ridiculously hot body poking around the beach in a bikini or less. I may not say it often enough, and my creepy crayon written letters may continue to be confiscated by the authorities, but trust me, Ela, I am always thinking of you.
The blonde haired devilish delight took to the beaches of Malibu in a tiny white bikini to flash her just outrageously hot body and pimp some more of the bottled water I’ve never seen anybody buy or consume ever. That’s a ‘you’ problem, not a ‘me’ problem. This me is quite reveling in the sextastic wonderments of Ela’s perfectly squeezable booty and the funbags of a heavenly body. I’m just kind of mesmerized. I’m feeling the opposite of parched. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
Hottie Hethielly Beck
is back and baring her wares for the creepily mysterious bottled water company. I’m not a big fan of the floppy hats and glasses, though I do understand the need for UV protection, but in contrast consider me a mega fan of bikini bottoms and see-through tops that provide a sweet glimpse of Hethielly’s treats.
I’ll say this for the odd folks at 138 Water, everyday somewhere on the beach in Southern California is a half-nekkid smoking hot model posing with their bottles. To what end other than us gentlemen oglers reaping the visual benefits of stimulation and circulation? Like I’ve ever asked myself that question seriously. Hethielly, keep up the good work. Your body needs to be shared with the world, but if that seems like to broad a goal, let’s just start with me. Screw the rest of the world. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
Oh, about once a year precisely in May, the lovely Latina Michelle Rodriguez slips into her bikini and takes a watery dip around the cliffside resort of Eden Roc outside of Cannes just to remind everybody that her body is still more than bikini ready, and look out guys and lesbionic girls, because Michelle will have what Michelle wants. Man, how en fuego is that?
This year Michelle led off with a white bikini around her athletic, but curvaceous form. Climbing the rocks at the seaside venue just to show off her prowess of diving, scaling, and ultimately arousing oglers of all varieties. She really does know how to steal a scene, even off-camera. I admire the heck out of Michelle Rodriguez. I imagine we could be good friends, the kind where one punches the other one in the bobos for trying to make an inappropriate move after a couple beers and when a hair band ballad comes on the radio. The heart is a funny thing. Well bikini played, Michelle, dive away, nymphet. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Splash
If you though F-1 Racing heiress Tamara Ecclestone was going to cut back on her South of France boobtastic displays of exhibition post entry into the world of MILFhood, well, think again. Or look again. The brunette sister of the pair of wealthy now married mommy daughters both was cruising down the promenade in Cannes showing off her finest achievement. No, not her baby. Those Funions almost spilling out of her bikini top. Old habits are hard to drop. Especially old habits involving relatively new ta-ta’s.
Tamara Ecclestone has always fallen into that sextastic category of girls who always seem like they’re about to have a wardrobe malfunction, but somehow nature and science combine illicitly so to prevent a total unfurling. Someday our ships will come in. For now, I’m quite content to follow Tamara and her bikini top stroller of goodies and leer respectfully. Hey, she’s somebody’s mother. Mmmm. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews