Bikinis Posts:

Michelle Lewin Bikini Bodily Faptastic Exhibition in Miami

If you're a fitness instructor to other hot bodied celebrity, why not advertise for your services by showing off your own results. Michelle Lewin couldn't do any better advertising thant exhibiting her stellar taut curves and eye-catching bikini body in Miami. Want to look like me? Hire me? Heck, if I were a woman looking to own half the world with my thong covered booty, I'd sign up yesterday. I'm not, so I'm just going to watch for free if it's all the same.

Miami Beach has become the single toughest locale for sextastic bikini body competition. You don't just show up with an okay body and expect to earn tickets redeemable for stuffed animals and paddle balls at the end of the day. There are serious models with seriously hard workouts and seriously outrageously hot bodies lining the sandy shores. This is the show. Come properly equipped or don't come at all. That probably seems harsh from a man who children point at and scream when he takes his shirt off at the public pool. But, what the hell. Michelle Lewin has raised the bar. Enjoy.

Miss Butt Brazil Model Indianara Carvalho Rocks A Bikini

Brazilian Miss Butt Indianara Carvalho showed off her, well, butt in these bikini pics in Paris. It goes without saying that Indianara has an outstanding booty. When you consider how great the booties in Brazil are and then realize that she was democratically voted as having the best butt in Brazil, that's saying something. It is pretty incredible. While she's in Paris they should take a bronze of her butt and put it in the Louvre. She's also covered topless in a couple of the pics and she's got some extraordinary funbags. They are some of those big 'ol floppies that I greatly enjoy. I like a pair of boobs that can knock you unconscious. That's just me, though.

You've got to love the French. They just let this girl take her top off in the middle of the incredibly busy park in front of the Eiffel Tower. There were no half naked Brazilian chicks when I was there. Just fat German tourists. I always miss the good stuff.

Abby Cubey Bikini Pictures Put Busty Filipina Lust in the Ocean Breeze

Whoa, be still my erratically beating ticker. The sight of pinay hottie Abby Cubey and her bodacious curves in a bikini is making me skip a few beats, though I assure you the blood flow seems to be working A-OK.

Abby is back for round two of Malibu seaside shoots with the creepy bottled water company that brings hotties out daily for half-nekkid shoots along the shoreline. That's not the creepy part. In fact, that's the best part. If anything is creepy it's what I'm imagining Abby and I doing in my basement of toys. Though I don't actually have a basement since I live in Los Angeles so we'd just have to pretend to be going down a flight of stairs while actually just entering the hall closet. It's worth it. My toy array is mighty impressive, some imported goods that had to bypass customs due to their possibly violating various Crimes Against Humanity laws coming out of the Hague. Abby, I'll be gentle. But when it's your turn, please promise to do the opposite. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikinis It Up And Other Fine Things To Ogle

I never get tired of looking at Alessandra Ambrosio in a bikini. (Popoholic)

Sexy Tina Knowles rubs her butt against Jamie Foxx during a concert. (TMZ)

Daniela Giraldo is sexy as F for Mai Petit magazine. (Drunken Stepfather)

Another day, another Sofia Vergara cleavage show. (Hollywood Tuna)

Tori Spelling may be pregnant but she's still a hottie. (The Superficial)

Mariah Carrey shows off some leg in Shanghai. (Dlisted)

Jennifer Lawrence is seriously sexy in an Oscar De La Renta dress. (Huffington Post)

Colleen Shannon Bikini Crazy Hot Body Pimping the Pricey H20

Colleen Shannon is definitely on my list of hottest ex-cons ever. I'm sure she's glad her recent prison stint past for doing some wrong things with the wrong boyfriend is behind her. I'm certainly glad it is. A body like this Playmate has should never be kept behind lock and key. It needs to be free. Free to please me. And others, you can look too, as Colleen rolls about on the sandy shores of Malibu pimping the mysteriously creepy 138 bottled water.

Not that I didn't imagine some conjugal visits with an amped up and horny Colleen Shannon at the Women's Central Jail, I mean, even as I kept waiting in line at the visitor's center only to have her turn down my requests for such physical interaction once again, I was still dreaming. And just look at that slamming bikini body. If dreams aren't built off that, I'm not sure how dreams work. Colleen, I'm pleased you're on the outside once again so we can examine your outsides once again. And perhaps someday your insides. There go my dreams again. Enjoy.

Nina Agdal Wicked Hot Beach Bikini Bunny of My Dreams

It's unclear whether these are functional bikinis for swimming and splashing, or more lingerie type items designed for Nina Agdal to remind some incredibly lucky bastard that he hit the girlfriend jackpot as he watches her slink around the room in these shiny little two piece numbers from Beach Bunny.

Nina Agdal wouldn't be allowed to wear any clothing if she were my gal, you know, slash Danish indentured servant whose passport mysteriously went missing along with all her cell phones and texting devices. She just looks so damn stellar fine in tiny little bits of bras and panties and thongs and other little bits of material fortunate to be rubbing up against Nina's lady parts. Oh, to come back as a bikini wedged into Nina Agdal's waxed areas. That is the reincarnation dream. Enjoy.

Vivica Mitra Bikini Turns Heads Pimping Water and Making Friends

Oh, my oh my. Just when I've had way too much expensive bottled water pimping along comes half-Indian hottie Vivica Mitra and her splendidly exotic good looks and ridiculously hot bikini body selling the very same on the shores of Malibu. How can I dislike a consumer products venture that brings much skin to the forefront of their marketing efforts? That would be almost un-Egotastic.

Vivica Mitra's struts across the sandy SoCal shorelines reminds me of about half the dreams I have each evening, or about ten thousand, involving a sextastic multi-ethnic hottie walking toward me whispering what I believe to be is 'take me now, Bill' but only when she gets close do I realize is actually 'can you maybe not stare at me so much'. Such is the tragic nature of my life. To be so close to lust, but never to fully taste. Enjoy.