Bikinis

Laura Csortan Wears A Black Bikini On The Beach In Sydney

Photo Credit: INF

Lauren Stoner Celebrates Her Birthday In A Thong Bikini, Kind of a Gift to Us Really

If it’s your birthday and you’re wicked hot bodied you kind of owe it to yourself and the world to show off your tight hiney on the beach in Miami. Okay, so maybe Lauren Stoner does this most days of the year already, but only on her birthday will she not have me arrested for a birthday spanking on the bikini bottom. I’m very committed to the old customs.

Lauren is quite the regular bar setter for the hottest bikini bodies in Miami. A regularly present tall slender statuesque blonde with a booty that you could bounce a nickel off of, though I’d recommend at least a silver dollar if you want to be noticed. Happy Birthday, Lauren. I hope my present got to your mailbox in time, I know sometimes the U.S.P.S. slaps a quarantine label on such gifts and has it burned in hazmat safety incinerators. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Amanda Nicole Thomas Shows Off Abs In A Blue Bikini While In Malibu

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Kelly Bensimon Bikinis in Boca Raton For Her Forties and Faptastic Showcase

Kelly Bensimon continues to be the Housewife mom who defies age with every bikini beach turn. For some reason she was chasing seagulls in her two piece swimsuit in Boca Raton, which while disconcerting to the birds, provided us gentleman oglers the chance to the forty-something mom in dynamic bikini action. She’s nimble.

Now I’m sure some of you might go finding some flaws in Kelly, but at forty-six I’m going to tell you shut up and let me revel in my bikini mom fantasy. Take your negativity elsewhere, I need to help Kelly in with her groceries and possibly mow her lawn topless. I mean her topless, not me. We want to make the world a better place, not disturb nature with blaspheme. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Posing Hottie After Class

I love it when the Victoria’s Secret models step out of their V.S. paycheck and get into the same small and wonderful bits of barely there clothing for other outlets. It’s like catching your hot teacher out in something slinky away from school. Just a bonus on the out of context fantasy builder.

Alsessandra Ambrosio naturally looks downright sextastic anywhere at any time in anything or less. In this bikini pictorial for Ocean Drive magazine, she shows the full range of her saucy Brazilian supermodel pose downs and that faptastic long and lean Pilates toned body. Wow. She sweats so that we may delight. It’s actually kind of saintly. If saint’s had ridiculously hot bodies and booties you wanted to spank until the church bells rang out. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Ocean Drive Magazine

Kendall Jenner Agua Bendita Bikini Booty Pimping All Tall and Taut and Wow


Kendall Jenner is blowing up. I don’t mean literally, like her sisters, in fact she’s the taller slender Kardashian by about a million genetic points. I mean career wise. She is everywhere now. Everywhere that pays a young woman to model their fashions. You can argue whether or not she’s an elite model in terms of her exhibitionist skills. You can’t argue that she’s one of the most famous women under 20 on this entire planet at the moment. That’s worth a few shekels.

Taking a peek at Kendall behind the scenes of her new shoot for Agua Bendita swimwear, you can see how Kendall has grown up something wicked fine even under the roof of her fiendish coven house. If you take a look back at her previous Agua Bendita shoots, you’ll see what I’m talking about. Then you’ll both cry and be happy at the same time, like your awkwardly sensitive host. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Agua Bendita Swimwear

Vanessa Hudgens Flashes Stomach While Posing For Bongo

Vanessa Hudgens is the queen of the bare mid-riff. She, in my humble opinion, does it better than anyone else. She’s certainly had a lot of practice as I don’t believe she owns a complete shirt. All I know is that from the first time I saw Vanessa in that crappy High School Musical movie I was smitten with that abdomen. It’s seriously flawless. I want a cast iron bronze of her tummy to hang up on my wall of sexy art, that’s how perfect it is. It’s smooth and toned and totally free of blemish or stretch mark. How many ladies can say that? Not any I know. People like Vanessa live on a plane of existence where we uggos can only admire from afar.

I think I’m going to go watch that Spring Breakers movie because it features Vanessa in a bikini. What better way to start off a Thursday?

Photo Credit: Bongo