bill-swift - January 5, 2012
Gentlemen, you've got 40 short days left until the lady in your life measures the entire value of your relationship, and, let's be honest, you short term ability to 'git sum', based upon your plans to feign, pretend, and otherwise not be your real self when it comes to the sickly sweet romance department. It's not so hard really, like a prostate exam, you don't want to do it, but you know at some point you've got to just suffer a bit o' pain in the rear out of common practical sense.
Thanks to the good and silky-nothings producing people at Victoria's Secret, and the likes of the super sextastic Candice Swanepoel, Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, Erin Heatherton, and Miranda Kerr, you can get an advanced look on the lingerie you'll be wanting to buy your girl come February 14. Now, we always preface our Valentine's lingerie pictures with this warning: objects in your mirror may not be quite the same shape as Victoria's Secret angels, so, do measure expectations accordingly. I've found from my own ghosts of Valentine's lingerie past that letting out a noticeable giggle during the unfurling of the silky underthings portion of the evening does little to assist in the conjugal portions of the evening. So, please, work on your 'wow!' right now; practice it, perfect it, and come six weeks from now, after an early bird dinner at Sizzler, some freeway offramp flowers, and a bit of satin and lace, you too will be getting down with your lady to the dulcet tones of Def Leppard on the bedroom audio system. Enjoy.