Candice Swanepoel

Candice Swanepoel Black Lingerie Sextastic Showcase on Set

Sometimes I just look at Candice Swanepoel in lingerie and being to cry like a small child. She stirs up deep emotions within my otherwise stoic soul.

Candice was strutting around in black showy lingerie for some promotional video and she looked so damn hot I almost pretended I was the director and needed to see her in my trailer to discuss emoting. We'd come out three hours later covered in the sweat that only people with true passion for one another can ever generate. Well, I'll be sweaty, she'll mostly be screaming for help, but it's still romantic. Candice, you do wonders for a man's testosterone levels. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Sextastic Wanton Wet Hottie

I'd watch Candice Swanepoel eat a lettuce sandwich with a big smile on my face. That South African super sextastic blonde could do anything and make it crazy hot. And when she's actually trying to look wet and hot and sultry in a photoshoot, forget about it, everything passion inducing raises by treble.

In this Fernando de Noronha shoot, with dude removed as best possible, Candice shows that she's much more than just a staid catalog model. When Candice gets to alluring poses, she takes it right off the charts. Let's just call these poses romantic by the beach. And, by romance,  I think you know I mean downright outstanding levels of lust inducement. Candice, you really are a treat. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Wearing Tights In NYC

South African beauty Candice Swanepoel was spotted leaving the gym in New York City wearing some incredibly constrictive tights. You know those models that have their bodies painted to look like clothes? Well that's how these tights look on Candice. Every curve is shown off. You can also see her rather spectacular thigh gap. She was also sporting a shirt that had no sides to it which allowed us a nice view of her sports bra. Candice has an amazing set of South African funbags. I do love the look of a woman wearing a sports bra. Sure, it's not as sexy as lacey lingerie but it makes me think of sweaty women fresh from a workout. That's hot, yo.

I can tell by the pics that she was in the lower East Side. This surprises me because I didn't know there was a gym over there. I thought it was just hipster restaurants and dudes doing heroin.

Candice Swanepoel Bare Midriff and Leggy in Shorts for New York Hotties in Shorts Season

Yep, it's officially July. Which means Rosie Jones and I will be both be celebrating our birthdays, along with America naturally. But, more importantly, warm weather in New York will force hot models to walk their yippy pooches in short shorts revealing their stellar legs. If you're uber-sextastic Candice Swanepoel, you'll also go bare midriff to flash all the hard work you do to keep your tummy right. Now if only we could ditch those stupid I Hate The Sun hats all the girls wear to make sure they aren't freckled at forty. They really do take away from my ogling pleasure.

Welcome, July. With all your heat and humidity, you will bear such ripe skintastic fruit. I applaud your arrival in as sweaty a manner as possible. Bring it on, and make the lovely sextastic ladies take it off. Enjoy.

Arianny Celeste, Candice Swanepoel, Joanna Krupa Highlight the Hotness at the Maxim Hot 100 Party

For all it's struggles of late, Maxim magazine and their party planners deserve credit for bringing out just one bevy of beauties type gathering for the celebration of their Maxim Hot 100 magazine edition. Naturally, there is much dispute over who makes the list, in what order, and the whole idea of lists at all, especially in an era when 'listing' has become synonymous with lowest common denominator content farming on the Internet. Still, who can argue, let alone not drool til parched, over the likes of Arianny Celeste and her boobtastic a'plenty along with peer hotties Candice Swanepoel, Joanna Krupa, Lacey Chabert, Greer Grammer, and more lovely lasses on full pimping display at the party's red carpet line.

Now, the savvy ogler knows that the girls don't linger long at these parties. It's photo op, a few giggles and handshakes, and out the back door to either their next event or back to their pads for cucumber wraps, cold creams, and rest so they look their most stellar the next morning for their busy shooting schedules. That's why I hang out with the staff in the alleys behind the venues. The best chance to see the girls, and, naturally, to bum some free smokes. That's my Tuesday night. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Struts, I Mean, Struts Onto the Sex of Extra

I couldn't be happier for uber-sextastic South African model Candice Swanepoel. After several years of lingerie modeling with Victoria's Secret she's really now coming into her own as a fashion model, hostess, commercial pimper, and general celebrity. She deserves it because super hot girls deserve everything they can get. Or, to put it more plainly, how much pleasure has Candice given you these past five years or so without so much as a request for a thank you? Exactly. She's due. She's overdue.

Candice put on a leg show and a half strutting onto the set of Extra TV at Universal Studios in some kind of short shorts thingee that revealed her killer hot long legs. There's not a spot on Candice's body I wouldn't like to lay Pop Rocks then make them crackle. Just such an epic fine female form. I wish I had an inane TV show for Candice to strut onto. Maybe I could invent one, filmed in my abode, naturally. Candice, come natural, we'll do makeup in my NFL signature wallpaper bathroom. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Hot as Heck And Decked Out for a Manhattan Photoshoot

You know, I do prefer to see the girls on my list of go-to FWB's primarily in the buff. But, occasionally, I do allow for a lady's need to look stunning hot and sextastic all decked out and grown up. Precisely as Candice Swanepoel did for some crazy hot evening wear shoot in the Big Apple over the weekend.

Candice looks good in and out of everything, but this particular sneaky peek made it hard not to imagine taking her somewhere fancy, like one of those gourmet restaurants that instinctively knows to pretend they can't hear me when I ask if open toed sandals are allowed for the male patrons. I'd take her out nice like that, maybe rent one of those horse carriages that provide the risk of Candice and I being hospitalized for broken bones and contusions in side by side ER gurneys. That'd be pretty romantic. Especially if her painkillers kick in before mine and both of us are on wheels. Dare to dream, fantasies stoked by Candice. Enjoy.