Sofia Vergara

Sofia Vergara Cleavetastic Swimsuit Photos Leave Us Feeling Tingly in Our Miami Regions

Oh, Sofia Vergara, how do I lust thee, let me count the ways. Hmm, only got to two before it was time to lay down the plastic mats lest we have a complicated explanation for the carpet cleaning crew, and those first two reasons, among others, were very much on display as the wicked hot Modern Family star showed off her fine 40-year old Colombian form on the beach in Miami.

Amid reports of a tumultuous spat-filled New Year's Eve with her new fiance and long time boyfriend, Some Rich Dude in Florida, Sofia appears to be handling the domestic disturbance by doing what hot girls do best in times of trouble, strapping on something form fitting and low cut and hitting the beach. It's a solution for every problem, including our problem of never getting to see enough Sofia Vergara.

You may recall that one of my 2013 New Year's resolutions is to bed this amazingly hot Latina thespianic. While the high street bookmakers have those odds currently pegged at a thousand to none, the very inspiration of Sofia flashing her sweet body cleave so early in the year simply triples my resolve to know well the territories of Vergara land and thusly plant the Egotastic! flag. Enjoy.

READER FINDS: Emily Ratajkowski Topless, Heather Graham Nekkid, Kesha Nipple Slip, and Much Much More…

 

Why not go out with a bang? What's the opposite? A whimper. While we've been known to make that sound in front of a lady, generally right after uttering statements such as 'Okay, how about just your bra?', well no way we're not having one whiz bang episode of Reader Finds for the final such celebrity skin-filled hodgepodge of 2012. It's been a good year, thanks to all of you.

This 52nd week of the year's Reader Finds includes Vulcan hottie Jolene Blalock in see-through wet-tshirt by Randall Slavin (kudos times infinity to EgoReader 'Rob'), cleavy Jordan Carver eating ice-cream in the pool (thanks to 'Paul'), Swedish model Mona Johannesson quite topless and Alice Eve topless in Crossing Over (double blessings to 'David M.'), some early see-through hot Aida Yespica swimsuit photos (courtesy of EMac and AidaYespicaFan.net), Sofia Vergara nekkid with a gorilla (odd, but hot contribution from 'Norman C.'), Maureen McCormick swimsuited up for classic Fantasy Island episode (old schooled up by 'Roger W.'), Georgie Darby quite shiny nekkid and playful (contributed by 'Torbe'), Kesha nip slip stills from her Die Young music video (package delivered by 'Adam'), Anne Hathaway teasy hot for Glamour January 2013 (discovered by explorer 'Joey G'), Lady Gaga covered nekkid in a Nick Knight photoshoot (among us thanks to 'Dan'), Anna Friel cleavy in Pushing Daisies promoshoot (served up by 'Raymund'), Ali Landry in classic bikini hot shoot from Barry Hollywood (we bow down to 'Almanz' for this glorious find), Emily Ratajkowski topless for Olivia Malone photoshoot (thousand Internet points to 'Davey'), Swedish hottie Elsa Hosk topless for Tobias Lundkvist photoshoot (tusen takk to 'Benny'), more Swedish model toplessness from Emma Clare Gabrielsen (thank you kindly to 'Richard B.'), Sam Cooke topless in jeans by Frank White (ogle-worthy delight from 'Cohn'), Daria Werbowy nekkid supermodel hotness in Industrie magazine (good on you 'Stephen'), Heather Graham nekkid in Boogie Nights (kudos to 'AnaMarie'), Staci Noblett topless in 2010 Ketchup photoshoot (muchos thanks to 'Evan G.'), Latin TV hottie Gaia Bermani Amaral covered topless in Capital magazine (OMFG level hotness thanks to 'SayHey'), Belen Rodriguez nipple slip on Italian TV (gratitude up the wazoo to 'Jackson'), and Jodie Gasson and Melissa Debling playing topless for Christmas (ho ho ho to 'Devon').

Now that's a true smorgasbord of the sextastic! Enjoy.

Classic Sofia Vergara Bikini Pictures From My Christmas Angel

Have you ever had one of those Christmas nights where you drink way too much, end up feeling the spins, kind of remember getting a tattoo on your ankle, maybe kissing a hobo on his head and calling him the salt of the earth, then waking up to the bright light of morning face down in a puddle of your own retched up Jim Beam and some undigested candied Hot Tamales? Only, you're not truly face down because some kind soul has had the decency to tilt your maw slightly askew so that you don't leave this planet in the manner of Bon Scott. That kind soul is your Christmas angel. I call her May, though that's not even close to her real name.

I only get to see May but once a year these days, at the holidays, and the other day we were shooting the shit over a horribly mistreated chicken that came out of a failed Christmas turducken experiment, and May asked me how my campaign was going to bang the living stuffing out of Sofia Vergara since that was my new year's resolution the previous time we had spoken, and I told her it was going well, though slightly slower than expected, and May asked me if maybe I should make a different resolution this coming year, like trying to get to second base with the gap-toothed cashier lady at the Jiffy Lube just down the block, and I said, no way, I wasn't going to quit my plan to plant my flag in Vergara territory til the job was finished, and May applauded me for my dedication while simultaneously calling me a deluded ignoramus, and I reminded her that the reason I never scored well on IQ tests was because I'm an out of the box thinker and then she said I should own the fact that I am a moron, and take back that word and make it positive again for people like myself who wander the streets unable to tie their shoes or contemplate change for a dollar when I buy something that costs four quarters.

Then May whispered, I want to show you something hot, and I thought she meant her vagina, which even though she's 78 years old, well, when any woman whispers that she wants to show you something hot, it's all I could think of, but, no, it was these classic Barry Hollywood shot photos of Sofia Vergara from a half-dozen years ago or so. Just stunning bikini pictures of my object d' Colombian lust. And after I had leered longingly at the photos for a couple minutes to four hours, May turned to me and said, 'Bill, I believe this will be the year you tap that ass. I believe in you.'.

May, my Christmas angel. Bless you.

Sofia Vergara Pimping Kmart and Flashing Hose and Panties Upskirt

I've had this odd Sofia Vergara fantasy for some time now and I really need to get it off my chest

I'm a little person. No, I'm not a dwarf, but some type of Martian ray-gun or maybe global warming gases have shrunk me to no more than the size of a thimble -- a thimble I hide under while a seamstress sews the buttockal portion of a Sofia Vergara dress that has ripped asunder by sheer force of mighty cheeks. While the sewing lady has her back turned, I make my move, leaping from the table onto Sofia's lower leg. From there, I ascend her taut gam northward in search of adventure, adventure I find the minute I'm above her hemline, in a magical lands of wonderful textures and smells. Without any hesitation, I continue ascending toward the heavens until, there, I spot it, Sofia Vergara is completely commando, her Colombian delight laid out right before my eyes. This is the point when Sofia feels me poking around her undercrackers, lifts her dress to expose the little man exploring her very personal spaces. She screams. I need to hide, but where? Where? Ah, yes. I plunge into the warm embrace of sanctuary. And I'm not seen or heard from for several weeks thereafter while Sofia wears a permanent smile about town.

Check out the hose-and--panties upskirt Sofia Vergara was flashing over the weekend at a pimping Kmart event and see if you aren't inspired toward your own Vergara imaginary escapades. Enjoy.

Sofia Vergara Is One Fine Looking Forty-Year Old

I guess today has kind of broken down into a love of ladies from around the equator, and that love of Latina must most definitely include Modern Family actress hottie, Sofia Vergara, who wore tight blue on her way into an appearance on The Chew, which I guess is like The View but with food, but in either case, not intended for me I am quite sure.

Now, I'm not going to mention any names around here, but Lexi in our office says she notices red rug burns on Sofia's knees, implying she had a great time after the Emmy Awards this past weekend, maybe after that dress splitting wardrobe malfunction. But us guys in the office know it's just from bending down in prayer, because we dudes always seek out the innocent answer. Enjoy.

Sofia Vergara Wardrobe Malfunction Exposes Her G-String Crackalicious at Emmy Awards

Hmm, we might not have even known about this glorious functional malfunction from the dress of Sofia Vergara had she not tweeted the images herself. What a gal.

Apparently, the dress could not fully contain the wicked hot veteran thespianic's Colombian booty and split open enough to reveal the butt crack of a goddess, with only the hint of a g-string to provide any hint of modesty. We have to be honest and admit that we hope for a dress rip every time Sofia Vergara shows up in one of her form fitting, curve highlighting gowns; and, honestly, we're not the least bit sorry that we do. Enjoy.

Christina Hendricks, Kat Dennings, and Sofia Vergara Lead the Hot Cleavage Displays at Primetime Emmy Awards

I'll say this for non-boob showing television shows, their ladies love to show cleavage during award season for their medium. The million dollar mammaries could not be contained at this weekend's Primetime Emmy Awards, where scores of hotties came decked out in low cut top, or just looking mighty fine, boob tube fantastics such as Christina Hendricks, Kat Dennings, Heidi Klum, Padma Lakshmi, January Jones, Sofia Vergara, Alexandra Breckenridge, Hayden Panettiere, Julianne Hough, Julie Bowen, Zooey Deschanel, and Claire Danes.

Yes, it was an evening filled with Hollywood patting itself on the back. But a day today for us to remember the best of Hollywood's front side. Enjoy.