On the days I do get to the gym, I leave looking like a wounded beast in the field the farmers consider shooting to put out of its misery. It’s sort of a look of anguish mixed with flop sweat that surely must scare the local children. I’m sure parents point to me and tell their kids that this monster is coming for them if they don’t clean their rooms and eat their vegetables. But I’m good with that. Somehow, Taylor Swift manages to look perfect leaving her gym. I know she’s actually working out within as evidenced by her toned legs and slender body and all around fit as a fiddle female form. I’m guessing she’s not showering with the regular folk. And she must have some kind of stylist and wardrobe person who accompanies her to her workouts. Or maybe her gym just offers that, Mine no longer even offers hand towels. But I’m guessing she’s not at at Bally’s.
Taylor Swift, I applaud you, your hot long legs, your summer wardrobe, and your effortless appeal. Let people mock your perfect girl persona. I’ll be the guy telling them to shut up and hoping you reward my efforts with a kiss on the cheek and maybe a back massage if you’re not doing anything special tonight. Enjoy.
Songstress and sexy person Taylor Swift was spotted in New York wearing a miniskirt. When I say miniskirt I mean it’s mini. It barely goes to her mid thigh. Most importantly it allows us a view of Taylor’s glorious legs. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, Taylor Swift has the best legs in America. They are the perfect combination of toned and curvy. They are also long. I’m reminded of all those old movies where they would say things like, “She’s got legs for days” or “She has legs up to here”. The best part is that Taylor knows she has unbelievable legs and likes to show them off. My mom always told me to put my best qualities out there and Taylor certainly follows my mom’s advice.
I’ve been, not stalking, but hoping to run into Taylor since she moved to NYC. I just happen to often find myself in her neighborhood and I am always hoping for an encounter. Not that I have anything productive to say to her. I’d probably just stutter something nonsensical and point at her legs. I’m not good under pressure.
It’s July. It’s summer leg season. That is to me what the start of deer and duck season are to hunters. Only, yes, that’s not my gun, I’m just damn glad to see hot legs. Like those on Taylor Swift. Say what you will about Taylor Swift the girlfriend person, but there’s no denying Taylor has some of the finest, longest legs in all of Celebrityville. I guess she was born with the hot leg genes, and then adds some solid workout and regular dancing. The net effect are a pair of gams that are simply show stoppers on the streets of New York in a pair of shorts.
Make no mistake about it, Taylor knows dam well hot damn hot she looks flashing her toned stems. She may look demure, but she’s probably got a clicker in her pocket she’s pressing every time she sees prurient eyeballs gazing at her long body on display. I respect that clicker. I’d like her to press it over and over as I sunscreen her legs. Yes, write a nasty song about me, I don’t care, I’m going in. Enjoy.
Singer and sexy person Taylor Swift showed off her incredible bare midriff and legendary legs in New York City yesterday. Few people do bare midriff as well as Taylor. She’s got a magnificently thin and toned belly that is a joy to look at. I guess she knows that and that’s why she is always showing it off. That Taylor is a true humanitarian. The skirt she was wearing was also slit almost all the way to her hoo-ha so we also got a good eyeful of her legs. I’ve said it before and I will surely say it again that Taylor has the best legs of anyone in the entertainment biz. They are long, lean, and oh so satisfying. If there were a Platonic form of the female leg, I’m pretty sure it’s Taylor’s stems.
Every time I’m in Taylor’s neighborhood in NYC I keep hoping I’ll run into her but we keep missing each other. I have the conversation all planned out. I’ll say, “Hey Taylor, I’m a writer that sings the praises of your legs all the time.” and she’d be all like, “Gee, thanks Jack. Let’s hang out and be besties.” This is my dream.
Singer and writer of break-up songs Taylor Swift was spotted showing off her bare-midriff and those amazing legs in New York City. Taylor had on a crop top shirt that let everyone on street behold that amazing stomach. She’s got an tight abdomen. It’s flat, toned, and oh so satisfying. But it’s Taylor’s legs that really fill me with joy. They are so long. You hear people say that a girl has long legs and usually it’s just an exaggeration. But no, Taylor has some long sexy legs. No wonder guys flock to date her even though they know that if they split up she’s going to write a song making fun of them. That’s a risk most men would risk. It’s worth it. She’s freakin’ gorgeous.
I am very happy that Taylor now lives in my city. I keep hoping I’ll run into her but we keep missing each other. I guess it’s hard when there are 8 million other people around.
U.S.-Chinese relations might be strained these days, but that doesn’t mean we’re not sending Taylor Swift, our ambassador of long legs and supremely sentimental catchy pop music, over to Shanghai to dazzle the tweens of the populous nation and perhaps bring us one step closer to a common understand that young girls all over the world have truly horrible taste in music. Or, perhaps more importantly, that grown men all over the world dig a tall girl with long toned legs in shorts, even those silly high waisted ones the pop stars all wear so their booty cracks won’t pop out with all their bending and preening and leg spreading moves.
I don’t know exactly what people see in the music, but I do know you could do much worse than drawing Taylor’s name out of a basket when it comes time to pick your Secret Santa table dancer. Taylor is at least six inches taller than most of her peers, with her half foot of statuesque goodness going entirely into her gams. Now, she might not let you caress those stems until your 73rd date, but if you make it to 72, there’s no way you’re dropping out before that opportunity. Enjoy.
The lovely Taylor Swift showed off her redonkulous legs in a short blue skirt in New York City. Taylor recently moved to the big bad city and she’s been spotted around town looking hot, because that’s what she does. I guess she sings songs about ex-boyfriends too. There are a lot of amazing legs out there in the world, and it is my job to notice these things. But I am of the opinion that Taylor’s long creamy white gams are the best. They deserve to be the main exhibit in the sexy chick leg museum of sexy chick legs. Seeing these gorgeous legs walking around I don’t understand why any of those dudes would have broken up with her. What possible relationship issue could be worth losing having those bad boys wrapped around you? I’m pretty sure I would put up with almost anything.
I am going to make it my personal mission to see Taylor and her legs in person. It’s finally warm here in New York and that means that girls are stripping down to their skimpiest outfits. She has to come out of her apartment sooner or later, right?