Let’s be honest. I’d shank any of you in the showers for sixty seconds of conjugal time with Minka Kelly. She’s hot. She’s always been hot. She will always be hot. But, she’s super boring from the gentleman ogler’s perspective. Always covered in public running to and fro her various appointments. Rarely out decked out. Rarely showing much skin. Rarely giving us the treats we so desperately desire from this sextastic siren. She seems content with the modest and demure life, we obviously can not be so content.
So, to see Minka out in a fitted dress with apparently no bra and her headlights working their way toward the sunlight was quite a thrill. It might be a standard for many lust-inducing celebrities we cover, but for Minka, this is a major reveal and something of a show stopper. Oh, how we wish for much more from Minka. But for today, I shall seek solace in the Minka nips and those absolutely perfect melons beneath. Enjoy.
Minka Kelly is on my list of the ten most boring celebrities in Tinsel Town. But she’s also on my list of one of the hottest. This raises a complicated dichotomy for me that is easily resolved by listen to happy Phil Collins music while blankly staring at Minka’s sweaty taut body leaving the gym in Los Angeles.
Not only is Minka flashing some of her perfect derriere, but those sweaty marks on her front side are making me very jealous of her sports bra. Yes, you can be jealous of inanimate sweaty objects pressed tightly up against Minka Kelly’s warm chest puppies and still be quite normal. I hope. Minka may not do that much so super exciting, but sometimes you need to add the spice yourself to make the dish hot. That makes no sense. Enjoy.
Minka Kelly doesn’t show off very often these days, but to save the environment, she will bring her big cans out for a little joy ride on the red carpet, as she did last night at the Fox event to raise money to save Mother Earth. How can you not swell with pride, if not show off your swollen bosom in benefit of that righteous cause.
We do often poke a little fun at Minka for being one of the least interesting celebrities in town. She can’t really even seem to get involved in a good scandal these days. But when she gets her mind and body to it, she can still own a red carpet with her outrageous female fineries. That’s a skill you can’t just pick up at the store. Minka needs to share her gifts more often. Enjoy.
There’s nothing wrong with being boring in and of itself. Minka Kelly doesn’t seem to hurt anybody in her boringness, and, in fact, during some of her various trips out to the nail salon, handbag shopping, hair salons, dog grooming, or various other jaunts that fill her week, she often gives us gentleman oglers a little something something of a visual trip of still one of the finer women in town. And, no, her booty in stretch pants. That’s not boring. That’s the opposite of boring. That’s unboring badonkadonk.
A tight tank top doesn’t hurt either. Maybe Minka will never reveal her fuller self to us, maybe she will never fully smile or show much expression of any kind, but a tight two-packed seat makes up for so much on a sextastic woman. We’ll let Minka’s arse do the talking. Enjoy.
All the networks take their talent out for a roadshow this time of year in New York to impress the shizz out of the big wigs who advertise with them. It’s kind of like a reverse Bunny Ranch ‘pick ‘em’ lineup where the bunnies go right to the clients. Not that there’s anything sexual about the upfronts, but if there were, I’d be happy to have Minka Kelly and Lea Michele be part of the presentation.
While Minka Kelly remains on our list of Completely Boring Female Celebrities, there’s no denying she’s also on our list of perennial hotties. Just her beaming white teeth alone would make her a princess in many nations. If she ever took off her clothes, she could be a goddess. As for Lea Michele, well, she at times makes some silly public statements, but she’s also proven she can doll up with the best of them and when you’re an ogler by profession, you tend to shut off the ears. Four senses are plenty. Enjoy.
While Minka Kelly remains on our Top 10 list of Hollywood’s most boring celebrities, let’s be real. Dudes don’t really ever call hot women boring, it’s sort of a distinction without importance to the male brain when they’re on a mission, and it’s not something we’re thinking about at the moment as we peruse, leer, and otherwise charcoal sketch the site of her full headlights busting through her dress at the Vanities Calendar event in Los Angeles.
So powerful were Minka’s nipples that we barely noticed Olivia Munn at the same event, and that’s saying something. It’s all fun and games, Minka, until somebody loses an eye. Enjoy.
I’m afraid that Minka Kelly currently resides on our Top Ten Most Boring Celebrities list. Now, she may be a wild danger child behind closed doors, but in terms of public visuals, it truly is recurring set of some of the most mundane activities on the planet. But, let us give thanks once more for yoga pants, those thin stretchy leggings than now pass for actual pants, when pulled up tight on hotties like Minka, oh, they turn into something truly special.
Can a girl with a juicy bum in yoga pants ever be boring? We could equivocate and debate, but the short answer is ‘no’. Enjoy.