Michelle Hunziker

Happy Birthday to Michelle Hunziker, My Future Adopted Mom!

As you know, I'm two steps into the seventeen step process to have hottie Swiss Miss Michelle Hunziker named my new adopted mother (step one was filling out the form, step two mailing it, just fifteen more steps to go.).

And, today, on her 36th birthday, I'd like to give a shoutout to my future mom, So check out the hottest mom on the block with a look back at some of our favorite Michelle Hunziker pictures since our adoption process first began. (And, yeah, if you want to see my future adopted mom topless on her birthday, you can do that too.) Enjoy.

Michelle Hunziker Black Leather Dress Shows Off the Shape of My Future Mom

As you are well away, the adoption process remains 'active and ongoing' on my petition for Swiss Miss veteran hottie Michelle Hunziker to become my adoptive mom. It's not that I don't love my bio mom and respect how ever many vagrants she had to sedate and steal their organs to help put food on the table for our large brood, it's just that I always dreamed of a parental figure who looked like Michelle Hunziker did in her black leather dress last night during Milan Fashion Week.

When I imagine Michelle and I cuddled up together reading inspiration picture books before bed time, me in my Spiderman footsie pajamas, my new adopted mom in black lace negligee, it just all seems so warm and innocent and maternal.

Just sign the papers, Michelle. And let's make this our first family holiday season together. Enjoy.

Michelle Hunziker Bikini Pictures Reveal a Fiancee in Heat

As you well know by now, my future adopted mother, the uber-hot MILFtastic Swiss Miss Michelle Hunziker has become engaged to some good looking rich dude in Italy, natch, and before she secures the final matrimonial deal, you can bet there's going to be lots of super extra hot bikini views for the future husband, in betwixt obvious endless rounds in the bedroom. Speaking to many a friend who has gone down the marriage path recently, this is the period of pre-nuptial bliss I like to commonly refer to as 'The Buy-In'. But, you know, feel free to come up with your own description.

In either case, with that wicked bikini body of hers, my future adopted mom could probably get even a dead man to rise from the grave and offer her a ring, such is the power of the hot mom, who seems to move effortlessly between hot TV appearances and never ending bikini exhibitions on the beach. There may be a price for beauty, as they say, but looking at Michelle Hunziker, I can also assess some very obvious benefits. You go, mom! Enjoy.

Check Out Michelle's Oops for Cruise Boobtastic Video »

Michelle Hunziker Bikini Pictures Continue Their Heat Wave in Miami

When my future adopted mom Michelle Hunziker goes out to play on the beach, she knows exactly what she's doing. And what's she's doing is creating more new wood than Georgia Pacific, what with her finely imported Swiss hot mom body.

I'm not exactly sure how the U.S. decides who does and doesn't get to come from foreign countries to hang out on extended stays in our fair nation, but I'm super hoping that it's done by hotness. And I hope Michelle Hunziker never ever leaves, or puts her clothes on. Enjoy.

Michelle Hunziker Bikini Pictures Double Dipping Weekend of Miami Heat

My future mom, the Swiss Miss hottie TV hostess Michelle Hunziker apparently has gotten engaged to her boyfriend, the two of them celebrating with a Miami Beach vacation that saw Michelle in one ridiculously hot bikini on Saturday, followed by another bit of bikini tiny goodness on Sunday, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say pretty much nekkid in the hotel room the rest of the time.

When it comes to Michelle Hunziker, the 30-something blonde uber-hottie from Wetten...das? I could drool to her in a burqa and workmen boots. But a skimpy bikini on the super sextastic MILF body of hers. I've broken out into a sweat of equatorial proportions. Enjoy.

READER FINDS: Kat Dennings Cleavetastic, Diora Baird Topless (Twice!), Olga Kurylenko Nekkid, and Much Much More…


Here we go again with our very favorite communal moment of the week and this one is a doozy. The time when every Egotastic! boy and girl brings their personal marshmallows to the campfire for some scary stories, a stiff glass of cocoa, and the melting of the sextastic smores we like to call Reader Finds.

This week's blessed bounty of booty and the boobtastic include Kat Dennings flashing her cleavage to a naughty bear, Diora Baird topless today and of yesteryear, Olga Kurylenko of Bond movie fame quite nekkid, Christina Ricci nipple pokes, Lucy Pinder playing topless Supergirl, Kari Byron still chesty awesome in new Mythbusters show caps, Entourage actress Janet Montgomery topless on TV, Michelle Hunziker flashing her nips, Aussie actress Rhiannon Fish bikini bosomy amazing, Katherine Heigl classic cleavage, Jessica Lowndes panties peek upskirt, Jessica Szohr nude body painted, and model Sara Ziff topless. It's all good.

What’s My Future Mom Doing on the Hotel Balcony?

Just kind of looking hot once more.

My soon to be adoption mom Michelle Hunziker can't help but look all kinds of way too awesome to be a mom, but a MILF she is indeed, take that from her future son.

Caught candidly in a low cut, skimpy bikini on her hotel balcony, Michelle sets the bar for PTA mothers everywhere.

Soon we shall be involved privately in a highly controversial, but I assure you, very healthy, Adult Nursing Relationship. But, for now, I'm happy to share her with the world. Enjoy.