Michelle Hunziker

Michelle Hunziker Pregnant in a Colorful Bikini in Italy

Michelle Hunziker Pregnant Bikini Beach Photos Because My Future Mommy Is Going to Be a Hot Mommy Again

No sooner have I nearly achieved my dream of having Swiss Miss model and TV hostess hottie Michelle Hunziker almost nearly agrees to be my new adopted mom, that she up and announces, err, visually declares, herself pregnant by way of her Euro-something boyfriend. Granted, my anger at being displaced in the new child department by a bio baby is mitigated by the site of my future hot mom in a bikini by the beach, showing off her swelling curvaceous body, both in the bikini, and the day before in revealing black one piece…

Still, it might’ve been nice to get a heads up on new of my future adopted brother or sister. Not to mention Michelle’s existing teen daughter from another daddy might be having some feelings to work through. Baby’s make everything complicated. Except for making mommy looking a little hotter when they’re on their way. If you’re into that kind of thing. And, as you know, I very much am no longer apologizing for that particular lust. Enjoy.

Pregnant Michelle Hunziker in a Black Swimsuit at the Beach in Italy

Happy Birthday to Michelle Hunziker, My Future Adopted Mom!

As you know, I’m two steps into the seventeen step process to have hottie Swiss Miss Michelle Hunziker named my new adopted mother (step one was filling out the form, step two mailing it, just fifteen more steps to go.).

And, today, on her 36th birthday, I’d like to give a shoutout to my future mom, So check out the hottest mom on the block with a look back at some of our favorite Michelle Hunziker pictures since our adoption process first began. (And, yeah, if you want to see my future adopted mom topless on her birthday, you can do that too.) Enjoy.

Michelle Hunziker Black Leather Dress Shows Off the Shape of My Future Mom

As you are well away, the adoption process remains ‘active and ongoing’ on my petition for Swiss Miss veteran hottie Michelle Hunziker to become my adoptive mom. It’s not that I don’t love my bio mom and respect how ever many vagrants she had to sedate and steal their organs to help put food on the table for our large brood, it’s just that I always dreamed of a parental figure who looked like Michelle Hunziker did in her black leather dress last night during Milan Fashion Week.

When I imagine Michelle and I cuddled up together reading inspiration picture books before bed time, me in my Spiderman footsie pajamas, my new adopted mom in black lace negligee, it just all seems so warm and innocent and maternal.

Just sign the papers, Michelle. And let’s make this our first family holiday season together. Enjoy.

Michelle Hunziker Bikini Pictures Reveal a Fiancee in Heat

As you well know by now, my future adopted mother, the uber-hot MILFtastic Swiss Miss Michelle Hunziker has become engaged to some good looking rich dude in Italy, natch, and before she secures the final matrimonial deal, you can bet there’s going to be lots of super extra hot bikini views for the future husband, in betwixt obvious endless rounds in the bedroom. Speaking to many a friend who has gone down the marriage path recently, this is the period of pre-nuptial bliss I like to commonly refer to as ‘The Buy-In’. But, you know, feel free to come up with your own description.

In either case, with that wicked bikini body of hers, my future adopted mom could probably get even a dead man to rise from the grave and offer her a ring, such is the power of the hot mom, who seems to move effortlessly between hot TV appearances and never ending bikini exhibitions on the beach. There may be a price for beauty, as they say, but looking at Michelle Hunziker, I can also assess some very obvious benefits. You go, mom! Enjoy.

Check Out Michelle’s Oops for Cruise Boobtastic Video »

Michelle Hunziker Bikini Pictures Continue Their Heat Wave in Miami

When my future adopted mom Michelle Hunziker goes out to play on the beach, she knows exactly what she’s doing. And what’s she’s doing is creating more new wood than Georgia Pacific, what with her finely imported Swiss hot mom body.

I’m not exactly sure how the U.S. decides who does and doesn’t get to come from foreign countries to hang out on extended stays in our fair nation, but I’m super hoping that it’s done by hotness. And I hope Michelle Hunziker never ever leaves, or puts her clothes on. Enjoy.