Kelly Brook

Kelly Brook in Spandex. Red Alert. This Is Not A Drill.

I could live inside Kelly Brook’s cleavage and be a very happy homeowner. Renter perhaps. Or evicted renter when she finds me. The point is, that bodacious bosom on Kelly Brook has inspired man a man to fanciful dreams and various lovely bits of imagination. When she dons the Spandex for a hike in Los Angeles, you can be those creative jets get sped up to red line.

Kelly has been working out like a gym freak ever since landing her role on NBC. TV cameras do not treat the lady body kindly and Kelly has managed to maintain her curves while tightening up some of the squeezable spots that I love, but I realize her masters on the small screen don’t abide. Let’s just say she’s been sweating hard this past year to get into even finer shape. I’m prepared to help mop up the sweaty areas once I move in. Kelly, call me, I’m in the book. No, not that book. The one on stranger danger. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Kelly Brook Busting Out In Fabulous Magazine

Granted, these busty racktastic photos of Kelly Brook are a tad bit touched by modern technology. Hyper-real let’s call them. Sort of similar to the hyper tingles I get any time Kelly Brook bares her boobtastic wares for cameras or ogling eyeballs. Ever since she’s moved to Los Angeles I’ve been on a Defcon Four level alert that has made it difficult to sleep without holding my stuffed animal in a manner you will not see in any Vermont Teddy Bear advertisements.

They stuck Kelly Brook on that craptastic NBC show, but hopefully many more on-camera appearance in better scripted, less clothed and network television censored work lies in her future. This curvaceous wonder muffin has nothing but talent on every soft angle of her passion inducing body. She deserves her own show. Let’s just call it Kelly Brook Funbags Uncensored and see if we don’t get twenty million people a week tuning in like clockwork. I know, I need to run Hollywood. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Fabulous Magazine/Instagram

Kelly Brook, Diane Kruger, Paris Hilton and More Celebrity Cleavage from Coachella Week 2

Just when you thought it was safe to go in the hipster waters, Coachella Part Deux took place over the weekend out in the California desert, inviting back tens of thousand of wristbanders along with another slough of sextastic celebrities spending tons of dough to look like second hand store shopping hippies. It might be somewhat irksome were it no for the cleavetastic bits of exhibition put on by the same lovely ladies, including Kelly Brook who was flashing so much wonderful cabbage I thought she might just spill out. That may have been reaching too close to the sun.

Kelly was joined by Diane Kruger and Paris Hilton and Nina Dobrev and others desperately trying to look Bohemian because I don’t really know why. I guess I didn’t get the memo. I never get the memo. But I do notice trends in the world of ta-ta’s, and clearly skin was in this Coachella weekend. I guess there was probably some music too, though in the VIP area I think everybody was listening to their favorite house music on their ear buds. Funbags make everything better. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Splash

READER FINDS: Kelly Brook Purported Nekkid Selfie, Chloe Sevigny Topless, Charlotte McKinney Crazy Hot Funbags, and Much Much More…

Click To See Uncensored

I feel ever so blessed to get to close out our week of wanton ogling with a peek inside the silk-lined reader email bag of goodness. I can hear the angels sing as pull back the goldenrod strings and unveil the majesty of celebrity skin within. It’s possible that’s just what’s left of my Spotify playlist as all the other music has been deleted by license holders. Still, when a cherub wails, you know something special is about to reveal itself. Indeed it has.

This week’s Reader Finds include Laura Wiggins in her shameless Shameless topless moments so mammary-able (thank to EgoReader ‘Conte’), the blessedly bare topped women of Van Wilder: Freshman Year (skinematics courtesy of ‘Daniel’), Tokyo Drift’s Nathalie Kelley topless in the wild (kind visual blessings from ‘Sumit’), Nathalie Edenburg topless in black and white and color (so hot, kudos to ‘Stephen B.’), Kristi Somers, Cynthia Thompson and Betsy Russell topless in Tomboy (an 80′s ta-ta blast from ‘Owen’), a purported topless selfie of Kelly Brook (thanks to many of you who sent this in for show and tell, no idea if it’s verified), a trio of topless goodness of angelic Keeley Hazell (that’s devotion from ‘Darren’), Julie Gayet topless on the silver screen (lovely lustables via ‘Francis E.’),  Chloe Sevigny model topless from about a decade ago (new one for this here rodeo, thanks ‘Evan’), Charlotte McKinney in one beautiful busty photoshoot (wowzers provided by ‘Aaron W.’), Bar Refaeli showy top modeling (a prize piece from ‘Bill P.’), gloriously gifted Ava Fabian in Ski School (ooh la la ta-ta delivered by ‘Rachel’), Amber Heard bikini body onscreen (one fine two piece hotness via ‘Theo’), and Alexandra Breckenridge topless in her forever memorable vampire scene (thumbs up for teats to ‘Shoreline’). It’s a big plate of sextastic today, but I know I’ve trained you well for this mission. Enjoy.

See All the Uncensored Reader Finds »

Kelly Brook Asstastic Cheek Peek in L.A.

I don’t know what you call this outfit Kelly Brook is tooting about L.A. in, but I call it a little slice of heaven. Or a little sneak peek of her other worldly booty cheeks which have given so much tingly good feelings to so many people for so long now. We probably out to give them a medal. I know I’d like to be the one who pins it on Kelly’s derriere.

Having now relocated to warm sunny L.A., no offense London, you have nice museums, we’ve had the chance to see more and more of Kelly Brook skin in public than ever before. There’s no sweaters and coverup clothing in L.A. nine months out of the year. You workout and you flaunt it, daily. Including some all too short loose bottoms that flash some inches of your sextastic curvy bottom. Just knowing those round mounds of faptastic are in my local environs is giving me the chills. I think I need to unfog my binoculars, if you know what I’m saying. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/PacificCoastNews

Lily Allen Vs Kelly Brook! British Babes Battle Bare Midriffs While In LA

British hotties Lily Allen and Kelly Brook decided to bare their sexy mid-riffs while hanging out in LA. Winter is over and all of the sexy ladies that have been hibernating all winter are starting to show off some skin. Kelly is a little more curvy than Lily but her stomach is still nice and tight. She’s got that nice hourglass thing going where she’s got nice ta-tas on top and shapely hips on the bottom with a nice cinched waist. Lily is classically more thin and her tummy is nice and taught.

I’ve always had a secret crush on Lily Allen since back in the early 2000s. I was a little disturbed when I found out that her brother Alfie plays Theon Greyjoy in Game of Thrones. Just because I wouldn’t normally want to bang anything that came from that dude’s family tree, but what are you going to do?

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Kelly Brook Lingerie Shopping at the Mall With Hot Friend and Even Hotter Legs

I am fully excited that Kelly Brook is now living at least part of the year in Los Angeles thanks to her sitcom role on the new Ellen produced show that may or may not stick around. I’m even more excited than Kelly has decided to take her friends shopping for lingerie at our local malls whilst adapting to the warm climate by means of short shorts. Overall, just plain color me excited.

If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about talent exchanges between the Brits and the Americans it’s that we tend to send our more angry, annoying, or non-lucid members of society over there, and in return we tend to get the hot models and thespianics. It seems like a very fair trade. Perhaps good karma for Lend Lease all those years ago. I guess that I’m trying to say is, thanks, England. Kelly Brook in her newly worked out body and curves was a really nice gift. We’ll send her back one day when we no longer drool following her on her Victoria’s Secret shopping trips. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI