Kelly Brook has been working out something fierce of late, in preparation perhaps for her new Ellen-produced sitcom where she plays the buxom hottie, naturally. And equally as naturally Kelly has been loading up her Instagram account with a ton o’ hot bodied bikini and sweaty lunge time workout result photos just to let everyone know she puts in the gym time to deserve her faptastic curves.
Now, it’d be easy to think to yourself, no matter how much I workout, I’ll never look like Kelly Brook. What’s the point of even trying? That’s exactly my reaction too. I can’t tell you how much time and anguish it saves me. Far easier to sit back in the La-Z-Boy and ogle in active boobtastic mode. So much to delight in with Kelly Brook. So much exposed fun. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Instagram
I don’t like lists. I shall fight lists and listicles and superlatives to my dying breath, or until somebody pays me to feel otherwise. I mean, there’s standing on principle and then there’s being able to afford the big drink at the movie theater. Nevertheless, were I forced to make a list of some kind, say, the Top Ten Motorboat Dreamy Girls, you can bet Kelly Brook would appear somewhere on that vaunted top ten.
In her latest pictorial pimping her own bikini fashion line through New Look, Kelly shows you as much qualifications as you’d likely need to see to put her onto your lists as well. In an age of slender ladies, Kelly maintains her curvaceous and bodacious form that the cosmic designer implanted lust for deep within the male DNA. Just something about Kelly makes me want to make many babies to populate this planet. Also, pour honey on her funbags. Hey, it’s my DNA too, I’m adding my own flavors. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: New Look Swimwear
Bikinis, New Look
Ultimate Woman of the Year Awards? Yes, that’s precisely where I’d expect to find Kelly Brook and her dramatically impacting derriere of so many late night and very early morning dreams. Have thumper will travel for Kelly who is a must invite to any hottie girl with curves event. I’m not exactly sure who Cosmo magazine picked as their winners, but I’m pretty sure I could do a good job myself with my eyes closed. Just hands. Ultimate woman right here I’d announce with a grin on my face beneath my blindfold.
Kelly Brook is the answer to the prayer, Dear Sir, please give me a bodaciously curvaceous woman with a thumper I could explore for years and never twice land on the same spot. I should know, it’s one of my daily requests right after peace on earth, though not necessarily in that order. Kelly Brook, you are woman and I can hear you roar. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Splash News / Getty Images / GSI
My ultimate nap would be to lay down in the bosomy embrace of Kelly Brook and sleep for days. Well, perhaps five minutes of exploring each other’s intimate limits until my heart rate goes past the red line limit indicated on the stationary bike at the gym. Then, to sleep for days in her warm welcoming boobtastic. Captured behind the scenes of her 2015 wall calendar shoot, Kelly Brook shows you why in black and white or color or just the heavenly scratch and sniff option, she really is one of the most heavenly bodies currently residing on the earth’s surface.
Kelly Brook in see-through little bits of clothing, bending, posing, preening for the camera. It’s almost impossible to wait for 2015. I’ll set my nap time in betwixt her engorged funbags to 1/1/15 so I can wake up atop her chest to the site of her on my wall. I’m doubling down on this fantasy. There’s no stopping me during the holiday season. Enjoy.
Being a sprinkler is probably a mostly boring life. Turn on a few minutes a day, turn off most of the rest. Repeat daily. Not a lot to look forward to. At least until Kelly Brook comes by in her stretch pants post workout with her big derriere flouncing about and your program suddenly hits the ON phase. Oh, lucky day for you sprinkler head, splashing your glorious H20 elixir across the hind-side of a curvaceous British model transplanted to L.A.
I’d like to think I’m above jealous of inanimate objects, but I’m not. They sure do seem to get closer to the sextastic celebrities than I often do. Nice cover story to be a sprinkler shooting onto Kelly Brook’s backside. You try that as a person and you just might find yourself arrested. Se la vie. Enjoy.
I’ve never quite understood why so many adults feel compelled to dress up in costume on Halloween, especially grown ups who spend their professional lives getting into fake characters to begin with. But who am I to argue when every single sextastic celebrity in Hollywood feels the peer pressure to dress up in something on the naughtier side every October 31st. I suppose I can live with it.
There were a number of big parties over the Halloween weekend. New York, L.A., London. Kate Hudson’s annual fest. Other must-attend gigs for dozens and dozens of A-list hotties in make up and often quite revealing outfit. While Aubrey O’Day and Heidi Klum went for ornate cool outfits, others like Kelly Brook and Alessandra Ambrosio and Joanna Krupa went for kitties and devils and everything lovely and candy sweet revealing. Halloween really is one of the single best show-off holidays of the year. The pagans knew exactly what they were doing. Check out some of the best of Halloween 2014 in the gallery. It’s a hot trip. Enjoy.