My ultimate nap would be to lay down in the bosomy embrace of Kelly Brook and sleep for days. Well, perhaps five minutes of exploring each other’s intimate limits until my heart rate goes past the red line limit indicated on the stationary bike at the gym. Then, to sleep for days in her warm welcoming boobtastic. Captured behind the scenes of her 2015 wall calendar shoot, Kelly Brook shows you why in black and white or color or just the heavenly scratch and sniff option, she really is one of the most heavenly bodies currently residing on the earth’s surface.
Kelly Brook in see-through little bits of clothing, bending, posing, preening for the camera. It’s almost impossible to wait for 2015. I’ll set my nap time in betwixt her engorged funbags to 1/1/15 so I can wake up atop her chest to the site of her on my wall. I’m doubling down on this fantasy. There’s no stopping me during the holiday season. Enjoy.
Being a sprinkler is probably a mostly boring life. Turn on a few minutes a day, turn off most of the rest. Repeat daily. Not a lot to look forward to. At least until Kelly Brook comes by in her stretch pants post workout with her big derriere flouncing about and your program suddenly hits the ON phase. Oh, lucky day for you sprinkler head, splashing your glorious H20 elixir across the hind-side of a curvaceous British model transplanted to L.A.
I’d like to think I’m above jealous of inanimate objects, but I’m not. They sure do seem to get closer to the sextastic celebrities than I often do. Nice cover story to be a sprinkler shooting onto Kelly Brook’s backside. You try that as a person and you just might find yourself arrested. Se la vie. Enjoy.
I’ve never quite understood why so many adults feel compelled to dress up in costume on Halloween, especially grown ups who spend their professional lives getting into fake characters to begin with. But who am I to argue when every single sextastic celebrity in Hollywood feels the peer pressure to dress up in something on the naughtier side every October 31st. I suppose I can live with it.
There were a number of big parties over the Halloween weekend. New York, L.A., London. Kate Hudson’s annual fest. Other must-attend gigs for dozens and dozens of A-list hotties in make up and often quite revealing outfit. While Aubrey O’Day and Heidi Klum went for ornate cool outfits, others like Kelly Brook and Alessandra Ambrosio and Joanna Krupa went for kitties and devils and everything lovely and candy sweet revealing. Halloween really is one of the single best show-off holidays of the year. The pagans knew exactly what they were doing. Check out some of the best of Halloween 2014 in the gallery. It’s a hot trip. Enjoy.
Kelly Brook‘s Calendar is 365 days of fap. (Celebslam)
Jennifer Lawrence looks leggy in a short black dress. (TMZ)
Lindsay Lohan is looking kinda hot in this covered topless Instagram pic. (Drunken Stepfather)
Katie Price is boobtacular at her new book launch. (Hollywood Tuna)
Stella Maxwell in a bikini is the reason to go on living. (Popoholic)
Kim Kardashian wears a see-through dress because that’s what she does. (The Superficial)
Ireland Baldwin is 19 and here are some hot shots of her being hot. (COED)
It’s hot sexy calendar time. Yes, that’s all year round, but naturally it peaks during purchase period time from October through December when every man makes the most important decision of his life — whose blessed ta-ta’s shall I look at every morning in the coming year. Thankfully, we have big walls and big hearts here at Egotastic, so we don’t have to choose from just one among so many wonderful options. However, if we had to choose, you can bet Kelly Brook would make the finalists cut.
Kelly Brook has been bringing tingles to annual calendars for about a decade now. She’s an institution in hottie wall visions of glorious chests. While she doesn’t go nekkid in her shoots, the advantage is you don’t need to remove content from your wall when Aunt Myrtle steps in to see why you never call. Of course, you can’t stand Aunt Myrtle, which is why you never call, but I’d recommend going with the more vague ‘I’m just so crazy busy’ followed by some inaudible mumbles. Then gently guide her to the door so you can once more be alone with your Kelly Brook calendar.
I think in my recent edition of Stalker Weekly, I mentioned to you my excitement knowing Kelly Brook was moving herself into my general vicinity. That’s a real estate term, sadly, not a sexual innuendo. Now Kelly and her round mounts of rebound fun are jiggling up and down the local streets making coffee runs, shopping, and whatever else it is curvaceous full-bodied female models do in between stripping down for the cameras.
Kelly Brook is the answer to those of you who displeased with the trends of skinny chicks in Hollywood. Kelly has got more than a little something something tucked up under her wardrobe. She’s a woman with no straight lines anywhere, save for the line of men moving into place to hit on her now that she’s single again. Not that that stopped them before. Kelly, come by any time and borrow some sugar from me. You know know when I might need a return favor on those sweets. Enjoy.