Eva Longoria

Eva Longoria Bikini ‘Toe’ and Hot Booty Flashing in Italy

I haven't really kept up with Eva Longoria and her busy love life of late, though I do believe she remains one of Hollywood's most eligible bachelorettes with money, power, and a slamming bikini body with a sultry Latina flair. The trifecta of the perfect woman.

Eva has been vacationing with some dude or another in Italy, and took time out of her tourist schedule to show off her bikini body by the pool at her resort. Oh, yes, Eva Longoria has still very much got it. Frontside, backside, topside, downside. There's not an inch of Eva Longoria I wouldn't bathe to slather in lotion and then later insist that yes, that really is just lotion, now close your eyes and go back to sleep. Eva does include some pretty naughty thoughts. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Leggy Strutting Lovely Latina Seductress With a Large Bag

I've really missed Eva Longoria. I'm not exactly sure where she's been of late, but we've seen little of the most eligible bachelorette of late, which makes me sad, as a child who has dropped his ice cream cone on the ground. For any time we lose sight of our eye candy, it's a melancholy time. Especially when that candy is sultry and Latina and single and hot and leggy and showing off her gams in a summer dress in Hollywood.

Oh, Eva, the things we would do together. Like expensive shopping trips where I'd suddenly forget my wallet and you'd have to pay for all the beautiful lingerie I was treating you too. We would have so much fun seeing just how passion inducing you could be with just your shapely calves running across my good touch bad touch regions. Eva, now that you're back in town, call me. Let's get a Starbucks and some organic lubricants. Enjoy.

Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and Eva Longoria Form a Trio of Hotness at Unite4Good

I'm not exactly sure what Unite4Good is, but based on it's title I'm going to declare it charitable, and hip with the clever use of '4' instead of 'Four'. The kids all love that. I do know that it was a cause grand enough to bring out the sextastic likes of saucy Latinas Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and Eva Longoria. It certainly has me feeling fine.

Once more, I am left wondering where my invite was to the ball. My fairy godmother seems to have abandoned me too as I was hoping perhaps she could turn my dead AA battery here into a Prius or something and announce I was off to dance the night away with Selena, Demi, and Eva. I guess this all just happens in my mind once more. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria in Booty Hugging Tights? Oh, Yes Please

Now there's something we don't see very often. Certainly not often enough. Candid shots of one of the world's most eligible bachelorettes, Eva Longoria, in body hugging booty tights jogging about town. Typically, Eva is only seen in public highly put together and on paparazzi alert. Here, orange butt-blaring stretch pants.

Is this perhaps an intentional gesture by Eva to get everybody to notice her might fine 38-year old Latina female form? I like to think so. In the very least, I am most definitely noticing. And smiling. And a couple other gerunds. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Is Single and Cleavetastically Ready to Mingle

Eva Longoria, one of the world's most eligible bachelorettes, is single again after a short passionate fling with a Latino male model who I can't help but feel is both taller and more guapo than myself. But, I guess she got tired of seeing his pretty face every morning, or maybe he just forgot to put the toilet seat back down, either way, it's over, and Eva is once more eligible.

To signal her new found singleness, Eva strapped on a low cut top and promptly took a bike ride around Los Angeles to remind all the men just how sextastic she is. I'm not sure if she toted her 1040K behind her to also show how crazy wealthy she is, for that may have simply started a dude riot. As for me, I care not for the coin of the realm, beyond, obviously, being kept in the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed. But a hot girl on a bike, for that I care very very much. So hot, Eva. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Grabs Her Bikini Boobs Because Why Not Touch Yourself If You’re Eva Longoria

We used to really think Eva Longoria was the world's most eligible bachelorette, after her divorce from Tony Parker. 30's, wealthy, hot, great little body. Then we started following her on social media where she likes to talk, and talk, and talk some more when all her talking is done. And, well... we'd still kill any one of you for the chance to betroth ourselves to this sweet Latina baby, though we might request separate bedrooms like King Henry had with his wives. A visit for the conjugal, then leave her to her privacy with her gal pals in betwixt the evening visits.

Seeing Eva Longoria in a bikini grabbing her own hotself in Marbella does remind us of our original lust for this Desperate Housewife. Just something alluring about a raven haired beauty bronzing in the Spanish sun. So, in summary, yes, we will still make ourselves one with her, but, we might need a bigger white noise machine. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Wardrobe Malfunction Flashes the Bare Lady Nest (and Maybe a Lady’s Little Helper) in Cannes

 

To be fair, my feeble elderly eyes can't say for sure that Eva Longoria is completely bare down there, and by that, I mean bereft of panties. There may be some translucent undergarment type thing. Either way, I think it's fair to say Eva is most definitely bare down there in the Brazilian waxing sense of the word. Additionally, the photos may indicate that Eva is experiencing that time of the month and utilizing methods that Carrie did not know available when she was in the shower. But, again, hard to say for sure. I'll leave that to the CSI Egotastic! volunteer army out there.

So goes Cannes. Where the rain could not step the A-list celebrities from wearing designer gowns up the red carpeted step to their various photo lines and movie premieres. Eva Longoria and her slit dress were there for the showing of Jimmy P. (Psychotherapy Of A Plains Indian) which I would go and look up what it is, and will, as soon as I stop looking at Eva's cooch. So maybe like another two hours.

Eva Longoria wardrobe malfunctions are happening more and more these days. I can only assume Eva is trying to tell us something. Or, maybe prayers just really are answered. I'll accept either, while I continue to stare. Enjoy.