Eva Longoria looks amazing in a yellow bikini. (Drunken Stepfather)
Snoop Dogg gets Tyrese some strippers for his birthday. Aw. (TMZ)
Lea Michele is incredible in a white thong bikini in Mexico. (Huffington Post)
Emily Ratajkowski sure knows how to wear lingerie. (Hollywood Tuna)
Nadine Leopold and her sexy freckles show off the goods in these bikini pics. (Popoholic)
Tara Reid posts some nekkid pics on Instagram. (The Superficial)
Valerie Van Der Graaf is the new face (and booty and boobs) of Passionata lingerie. (COED)
I’m certain Eva Longoria has some new man in her life and I’m certain I’m not going to investigate. Why ruin a perfectly good fantasy about Eva in her bikini asking me to sunscreen some spots she missed as she tells me about how people don’t realize how lonely life can be for a successful actress and model in Hollywood. Then I tell her I totally understand even though I don’t and I find some additional spots she missed with the lotion, some spots she didn’t even know existed.
Perhaps my mind wanders too much with such detailed journeys into the libido, but how can you not get carried away when this Latina hottie with her stellar bikini body is prancing about pools in Miami, just months away from joining the veteran hottie Forty and Faptastic club. Oh, my, I want to be her boy toy so badly. There is no job to menial or humiliating, Eva. I mean, I couldn’t bring myself to watch any of your shows or movies, but I would be willing to watch you watch. Clothing optional naturally. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlyNet
Eva Longoria is about half a year away from becoming the most certain member of the Faptastic and Forty club here on Egotastic. The hot bodied most eligible Latina is not only sultry and alluring and not too shabby in the able to take care of me in the financial ways in which I’m accustomed department, she also continues to look crazy veteran hot in a bikini, a little bit of fabric that constantly needs adjusting.
It’s not every woman in the world that causes me to become catatonic from seeing them fixing their bikini tops or crawling on all fours across a chaise lounge chair, but Eva definitely falls into that category. Just so fine and born to tan. Will Eva and I ever get together for real? My lips are sealed. Though not for you, Eva. Have your girl call my girl and we’ll work something out. I majored in college in illicit rendezvous, though I will be tempted to alert the paps so they can see my smiling mug as you leave my abode at 5am covering your shame face. Enjoy.
The lovely Eva Longoria was spotted lounging poolside in Miami in a small multicolored bikini. Eva is truly in tremendous shape. Her tight, toned stomach looks amazing. Eva also has a really nice pair of ta-tas. They are like the boobies Goldilocks picked, not too big, not too small, but juuuuust right. There is some nice cleavage action going on in these pics. But what I am all about is her booty. Good Lord, she has a nice booty. I remember admiring it years ago on Desperate Housewives and it still looks as good as it did back then. Some things just get better with age.
Eva is from the same town where my mom lives in Texas. Every time I’m visiting her I always hope I’m going to run into either Eva or her any number of younger cousins. It’s yet to happen but I am still hopeful.
I haven’t really kept up with Eva Longoria and her busy love life of late, though I do believe she remains one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelorettes with money, power, and a slamming bikini body with a sultry Latina flair. The trifecta of the perfect woman.
Eva has been vacationing with some dude or another in Italy, and took time out of her tourist schedule to show off her bikini body by the pool at her resort. Oh, yes, Eva Longoria has still very much got it. Frontside, backside, topside, downside. There’s not an inch of Eva Longoria I wouldn’t bathe to slather in lotion and then later insist that yes, that really is just lotion, now close your eyes and go back to sleep. Eva does include some pretty naughty thoughts. Enjoy.
I’ve really missed Eva Longoria. I’m not exactly sure where she’s been of late, but we’ve seen little of the most eligible bachelorette of late, which makes me sad, as a child who has dropped his ice cream cone on the ground. For any time we lose sight of our eye candy, it’s a melancholy time. Especially when that candy is sultry and Latina and single and hot and leggy and showing off her gams in a summer dress in Hollywood.
Oh, Eva, the things we would do together. Like expensive shopping trips where I’d suddenly forget my wallet and you’d have to pay for all the beautiful lingerie I was treating you too. We would have so much fun seeing just how passion inducing you could be with just your shapely calves running across my good touch bad touch regions. Eva, now that you’re back in town, call me. Let’s get a Starbucks and some organic lubricants. Enjoy.
I’m not exactly sure what Unite4Good is, but based on it’s title I’m going to declare it charitable, and hip with the clever use of ’4′ instead of ‘Four’. The kids all love that. I do know that it was a cause grand enough to bring out the sextastic likes of saucy Latinas Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and Eva Longoria. It certainly has me feeling fine.
Once more, I am left wondering where my invite was to the ball. My fairy godmother seems to have abandoned me too as I was hoping perhaps she could turn my dead AA battery here into a Prius or something and announce I was off to dance the night away with Selena, Demi, and Eva. I guess this all just happens in my mind once more. Enjoy.