Courtney Stodden

Courtney Stodden Goes Back to Blonde, Keeps the Funbags

If there’s one thing I know you care about, it’s what hair color Courtney Stodden is choosing for her current look. Well, I’m here to announce that she’s officially gone back to platinum blonde after a multi-month run as a brunette, which actually seemed to be popular among most people I talked to, but that’s not a statistical sampling.

In any event, she has clearly decided to keep the ginormous funbags completely the same, showing them off in their nearly full bounty at the salon where the media world waited in bated breath to see her hair coloring treatment. I’m not exactly sure what Courtney is up to these days, I just know she’s doing it with her chest hanging out. It’s not a bad constant Enjoy.

Courtney Stodden Bikini Beach Sports Partaking and Parading in the Tiny Two-Piece

Word is, Courtney Stodden has finalized her physical and otherwise separation from her long lasting marriage to her dad’s older uncle’s oldest best friend’s dad. She’s now officially and undoubtedly single again. To celebrate, Courtney Stodden took her curves and her bikini and her football and hit the beach with some guy we couldn’t possibly cared about if we tried, so we cut him out of the silly, but racktastic photos of  Courtney who is certainly improving upon her beach posing skill set.

Back in the day, when Courtney was just a teen, I mean, a younger teen, she had some awkward attempts at pulling off California beach girl. She seems to have it down pretty keen these days, including the thong bikini, the half-shirt, and the football. If you look like you’re in a beer commercial, you’re on the right track. Say what you will about Courtney Stodden, she’s improving. Enjoy.

Courtney Stodden Shows Off Her Killer Kongs for Date Night in Hollywood

Courtney Stodden is nineteen and single, or about to be, and she’s wasting little time getting back out there into the hot L.A. singles market with her sense of demure style and low-key wardrobe. Or, perhaps the opposite.

I mostly feel bad for Courtney’s date, who has to sit through dinner pretending not to stare at her ginormous hooters. We’ve all been there before, perhaps to a lesser circumference degree, but all the same, it can get awkward trying not to gaze awkwardly into such exposed expansive orbs. Gravity alone will draw the iris toward second base. Were I on a date with Courtney, I might employ my trick of referring to her biggish funbags as her sisters. For instance, ‘And would your sisters like a drink as well? Wait, are they legal yet?. Then we’d have a good laugh while I imagined entering the Motorboat Hall of Fame after dessert. Enjoy.

Courtney Stodden Barely Covered Topless Racy Brunette Photos for the Brits to Munch On

You know Courtney Stodden make quite an impression on the people of Jolly Old England when she was visiting there for her turn on Celebrity Big Brother. How could she not win over the people of Britain with her great, um, personalities, which she managed to flash glimpses of during the show’s run. Now, the lads magazines in the U.K. have invited Courtney back to get almost almost topless as a brunette in a racy lingerie photoshoot.

I’m not exactly sure how Courtney’s massive globes aren’t fully exposed, but I suppose they did some selective combing of the hair and choosing of the photos to retain her ingenue innocence. It is her last token of down home country girl remaining, one we expect to see very shortly. For now, Courtney making quite the funbag impression in  a land where bodacious brunettes are highly revered. Enjoy.

Courtney Stodden Boobs Elicit a Wowie from Even the Most Veteran of Gawkers

I’m not a particularly busy man, but even at that, I’m too occupied with naps and evading my landlord to figure out what the WOWie Awards are. Suffice it to say, on name alone, I’m not shocked that Courtney Stodden was a recipient. The former blonde shellbomb has turned her locks to a raven brunette, but has kept her flesh puppies very much the same, here and nearly bare and in your face.

Courtney is now a single nineteen year old  young woman, so, naturally, she’s going to flash a little cleave from time to time, or a ton of cleavage all the time, very nearly spilling out of her dress again at this award events. I must say, I prefer the brunette on Courtney, and, by brunette, I am most definitely talking about her Costco sized boobtastic. Enjoy.

Courtney Stodden Struggles to Contain Her Big Bouncing Beach Balls

If you’re Courtney Stodden with your newfangled DDD’s, you can’t just take off your bikini top at the beach and hope to properly contain yourself with hands alone. Though I suppose that was perhaps baked into the plan to get the lenses of every camera within a mile focused on her bouncy flouncy chestal giants as she slipped out of her bikini top to avoid tan lines at the icy cold beach.

Courtney Stodden is like a blossoming flower. Or maybe that’s budding, or just trying really hard flower. Either way, I am so tempted to keep looking, despite being played. I’m a sucker for big racks, as well as small racks, medium, and everything in between or sideways. You may like Courtney, you may not like Courtney, but you’ve got to at least be impressed how she manages to lay on her stomach on the beach. It’s a marvel of engineering. Enjoy.

Courtney Stodden Bikini Pictures for Big Busty Seafaring Showoff Time

I’ll say this for Courtney Stodden. She is trying. If you don’t think that Pacific Ocean isn’t freezing cold in December, why then you’ve never accidentally fallen into it during the winter months after one too many shots like somebody I know who looks just like me. It’s effin’ frigid. But not so Courtney Stodden who braved the chilly H2O to put on a red bikini busty body show to remind everyone that while she wasn’t super relevant while married, now she’s not super relevant and single. I think that’s a plus-one in her column, but I’m still calculating.

You guys send me lots of emails about Courtney, leaning toward the negative. But I also know that while some of your ill feelings are certainly personally justified, you’d be cranking your head at the beach when Courtney walked by, out of pure human reflex. Heck, I’ve based several of my more serious relationships on less. Enjoy.