Courtney Stodden

Tennis Anyone? Courtney Stodden Flashes Both Strawberries and Cream to Kick Off Wimbledon

By Bill Swift | June 25, 2012 @ 9:10 am

Courtney Stodden Flashes Various Body Parts on the Tennis Court

Tennis may be the sport of kings, but that doesn't mean you won't jack... you know, let's hold that thought for about eight more weeks until teen bride Courtney Stodden officially turns 18 and the law catches up to reality of this little scamps body exhibition show that's been perverting traditional American (and now British) institutions since she was sweet sixteen and betrothing herself to her unseemly much older husband.

Nevertheless, for those of you who ask why, we can not escape our mission of the celebrity sextastic if we didn't share with you these photos of Courtney Stodden working her teen magic on the tennis court. The cop does not ask why he must arrest the criminal nor the butcher why he must slaughter the lamb. Both kind of apropos to this situation really.

For the full set of exclusive Courtney Stodden body flashing tennis pictures, visit our friends at Celebuzz.

WHEN COURTNEY CHANNELED BO DEREK...

Courtney Stodden Channels Bo Derek in Skimpy Gold Bikini

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Courtney Stodden Soaps Herself Up, and Hoses Herself Down

By Bill Swift | May 24, 2012 @ 8:16 am

Teen Bride Courtney Stodden in a Soap Photoshoot

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I'll say this, the underaged bride does not go quietly into the night.

Now, I know there are many of you that say that if we all simply turn away from Courtney Stodden, the illicit teen made lawful only through marriage, that she will somehow disappear and this land will somehow become wholesome and innocent once more, but, yeah, that isn't going to happen. Cause there are also those of you who want to see all the indecency Celebrityville has to offer, including young brides of old men soaping up their bra covered bosoms for the sake of an ounce of fame or two-point-five ounces of gold in licensing fees, or thereabouts. There's just something about a train wreck that is hard to turn away from, even if you're not rooting for it obviously in the first place.

So, check out the latest incarnation of teen debauchery, if you like, or don't if you don't, while we ultimately prepare for a couple months from now when Courtney turns 18, at least on paper, God knows how old she really is now, and then all the remaining rules of society shall be cast aside and who knows what comes next. Enjoy.

WHEN BUNNIES GO HORRIBLY HORRIBLY NAUGHTy

Courtney Stodden Poses as a Naughty Easter Bunny

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Courtney Stodden Channels Hello Kitty In A Uniquely Odd Display of Jail Bait Feline Dramatics

By Bill Swift | May 21, 2012 @ 6:59 pm

This Little Kitten Has Lost Her Mental Mittens

Remember when I told you that the world was going to end in 2012 and then you said that I was stupid and had no proof and then I said I'd show you proof and then you laughed at me and told me, 'Good luck with that'. Well, I'm back.

Watch this truly odd video of Courtney Stodden pooping in a kitty litter box and tell me this is not a sign of the forthcoming apocalypse. This one is a doozy.

Courtney Stodden Bikini Pictures Channel Bo Derek’s Classic ’10′ Performance

By Bill Swift | May 16, 2012 @ 11:40 am

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I know some dudes who keep up body building masters posters in their place and I guess it inspires them to workout harder or pump more iron to more closely resemble their heroes, but I can't help but think it just kind of makes them look weaker by visual comparison when you see the actual greats along their wall.

Bo Derek was the perfect '10'. Perhaps not the original, but she perfected it and owned it in the late 70's, early 80's, not just by being super amazingly hot, but by showing off her sextastic on the big screen in films such as the classic 10 and Bolero and Tarzan Legend of Greystoke and a bunch of other, albeit mostly craptastic films (though 10 really is a good film you must check out if not seen before), but with Bo Derek running nekkid through them, they're very worthy of receiving a thumbs up. She's the master.

And now comes along our jailbait friend Courtney Stodden, in a bikini, channeling Bo Derek running along the beach in her famous scene from 10 and while the underaged Courtney Stodden has her own attributes, that's s a nice way of putting it, I can't help but feeling like I do when my workout fiend buddy who still has chicken ankles stands next to his posters of former Mr. Universes. The comparison does not help. Enjoy.

Courtney Stodden Bubble Bath Pictures Inch Us Ever Closer to Courtney’s Career Goal

By Bill Swift | May 1, 2012 @ 8:34 am

Courtney Stodden Lingerie and in the Tub

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And I don't mean the career goals where Courtney Stodden gets discovered for her amazing vocal talents, on-camera skills, and natural beauty. I mean going the Octomom route where her husband/grandpa tells her she's now 18 (come August) and the rent money is due and the Bang Bros. are in a van outside with a paycheck for a three hour filmed tour.

Shot in a bathtub without much makeup, Courtney Stodden has about three months left to live out her Lolita comes to Hollywood dreams before the cold hard reality hits and the bubbles start popping. And, as your faithful reporters, we'll be right there covering every angle of her blossoming future career path.

Ah, youth, it truly is wasted on the young.

For the complete set of 20 photos of Courtney Stodden seemingly unclothed in the tub check out our friends at Celebuzz

WITH SOME CLOTHES ON, COURTNEY STODDEN WRECKED MY TARGET YESTERDAY

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Courtney Stodden Shows Off Her Melons in the Meat Department

By Bill Swift | April 26, 2012 @ 12:29 pm

Courtney Stodden Yellow Dress at the Grocery Store

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(Look, don't kill the messenger, it's not like I exactly control what goes on around here. There are the evil elves to contend with. And, no I don't mean mythological woodland humanoid creatures, I mean the short-stacked underaged A.D.D. kids from Myanmar we pay in Fun Dip candy packs who absolutely think underaged Courtney Stodden is the skanky bomb. I deny them their Courtney, all of a sudden my Facebook Mafia Wars account disappears. It's like that around here.)

Courtney Stodden, or as we like to think of her, Stephen King's Carrie with Fun Bags, hit the grocery story in her super tight dress and pushed up everything underneath, in order to shop for a couple essentials, essentials such as gawks, stares, and attention. Her grandpa/husband/stat rapist stood at her side, carrying the heavier items such as guilt, shame, and awkwardness. It was another Courtney Stodden moment, we share with you, and please our angry elves. Enjoy.

THE BIKINI AND FUR COAT: ANOTHER STODDEN CLASSY CLASSIC

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Courtney Stodden Yanks Her Bike Chain as the Lolita Self-Publicity Tour Rolls Along

By Bill Swift | April 25, 2012 @ 1:48 pm

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There's a feeling I get when I look to the west, and these days it's often a feeling of confusion at the latest beach photoshoots from teen wannabe drama queen Courtney Stodden. The fact that she got married and lost her virginity at 16 to her stand-in grandpa is actually now the most normal thing about her.

In her most recent incarnation of underaged teen sex on the beach, Courtney fixes her bike, roams the beach, and plays volleyball like a true future porn star champ, all in a cleavage revealing top and butt baring bottom. If you want to look, I give you absolution from any and all venal sin stuff. I can actually do that. If you don't want to look because of Courtney's 17 going on 45 years of age, I can respect that too. Except for missing that butt shot, that one you really should see. Enjoy.