Oh, what a tangle web we weave when first we set about to show off our wicked hot bodies on social media candids. Well, posed candids for the most part. And that tangled web is welcome to sticky me into submission any time it likes. Just when I have nightmares that the hot babes in babeland might suddenly turn off the hot picture sharing spigot, nope, it fires that much harder. Must be all the pressure. I can totally relate.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes the lovely and un-photo-touched Beyonce showing off her MILtastic form, Arianny Celeste with some deep deep cleavage, Hayden Panettiere exhibiting preggo minxy bikini fashions, Courtney Stodden pimping the cans in the red, white and blue, Lea Michele posing in a bustier, Pia Mia Perez flashing her teen booty, Elisabetta Canalis bikini time beach fun, and much much more. You owe it to the good men and women who make the best beverage known to mankind — beer — to check out each and every one of these mindblowing bits of social media goodness. Enjoy.
Well, we just had to trail with a little blood here hours before I go and rob my neighbors of all their fake chocolate compound candy bars. I wish we had more Belgian and Swiss families on the street to show some pride and pass out the real stuff. Nevertheless, may I never look down upon a Nestle Crunch bite in my living years.
Courtney Stodden got into the Halloween spirit with copious amounts of fangs, funbags, and fake blood. Not exactly scream queen, but squeamishly chesty queen for sure. Say what you will about Courtney, she maintains a body built for show, especially around all the holidays. She’s a master of attention. It’s Halloween, go on, give her some. It’s just like candy! Enjoy.
It’s hard to imagine in my mini-sized brain that anybody actually puts together a red carpet fundraiser event and utters the words, ‘We really need to land Courtney Stodden to make this a success’. Nevertheless, there she is, with her XL sized udders righteously barely contained in her revealing dress top at some charitable event that looked far too fancy for my crocs and ripped jeans formal wear. I will give this to Courtney, she creates visuals that will not be overlooked. Such is the power of the boobtastic by its very primal defnition.
Credit is due to Courtney’s mom and public rep who books her for these fancy gigs. She wouldn’t have made it past the Deacon at my school dances, not with her demon’s handiwork hanging out so brazenly. Then again, I would have definitely asked her to dance. Something slow. Like a Hall & Oates ballad. There’s being picky and then there’s been a horny teen. Never the twain shall meet. Enjoy.
Oh, sure, I could look up what the Feline Film Festival is. But after this weekend of hacked celebrity photos, my Google fingers are kind of sore so I’m just going to assume this is a festival for films about cats, made by cats, or for a cat audience. Take your pick. I do know that now 20-year old Courtney Stodden showed up with her bazoongas hanging out to make sure both kittens and children alike in attendance had a solid understanding of where bowls of milk come from.
Courtney has trouble getting the A-list party invites, but if it’s obscure and there’s a red carpet, you can count on Courtney digging into her closet of low cut gowns to show off her enhanced yabbos and pucker like Marilyn. It’s not everybody’s thing, but it’s Courtney’s thing. And if you don’t think blonde young women with enormous puppies won’t get attention at a feline film festival, you are grossly mistaken. Enjoy.
Courtney Stodden doesn’t do anything little. Maybe cheap, but never little. The now twenty year old reunited with her grandfatherly spouse took her turn on the exhibitionist stage last night at an L.A. showing of some pop visual artist who is super famous but I’ve never heard of, but I do know about all Courtney’s funbags. Take that as the ultimate sign of my cultural awareness.
Even before Courtney got her publicly promoted inflatables, she was always wearing deep dropping tops and showing off her teenaged twosome. Now with her new extra special sizing, those babies are barely contained in her evening wear, day wear, and presumably boudoir fashions. Oh, sure, you could call her obvious. But, obviously I’m staring. Which is why I never call anybody names, unless they really really deserve it. Enjoy.
Yes, it’s true, even with her mammoth mammaries, Courtney Stodden takes flight in her little white shorts and low cut top boxing in these rather must-see photos of Courtney Stodden boobtastic workout on WWTDD. Seriously, you will not be disappointed. She leaps through the air with the greatest of ease.
For all the negative Nancy runs on Courtney, there’s no doubt she does keep her body in top top shape. She’s pretty tight all over. If she could just find a way to add that missing talent quotient. Enjoy.
I can’t say this is the most realistic bike fall ever. It kind of looks like one of the bike falls on an ABC After School Special about Tanya, the girl with the poor inner ear balance. But, no, it’s Courtney Stodden and her amazingly large funbags riding a bike near the beach with one of her BMX buddies and taking a spill along a grassy knoll. She looks rather distraught. But, fear not, I do believe her built in cushions cushioned the blow.
There’s really no denying that Courtney has a body literally built for attention. Say what you will about the ambitious dirty blonde, but she’s going to draw eyeballs to those big yams of hers, not to mention her wide thumper stretched across that bike seat. Whether or not Courtney is ever able to build upon her current high jump mark remains to be seen. I do know I’d like to watch her try the high jump. Enjoy.