Now, you know I’ve been saving up for my own sea-faring vessel. An eighteen foot sloop with only moderate to major hull damages that I’m a mere thirty-seven years away from affording the first payment. Soon. But not soon enough to host the bachelorette at sea party Vanessa Hudgens and a couple other bikini clad friends threw for gal friend Ashley Tisdale over the weekend in Miami.
I can’t remember who Ashley is marrying, but somebody who’s not me which means looking it up will only make me jealous. It might ruin my otherwise pleasant mood from watching Vanessa and Ashley and friends bounce around with their hot bodies and booties in bikini along the deck of their yacht having a grand old send off of their buddy into matrimony. I must say, it doesn’t look as nearly as wild as the bachelor parties I attend, though the girls are much prettier at Ashley and Vanessa’s event. Girls, couldn’t you use a little man to tie down and do dirty things with at your little three sheets to the wind party? I do volunteer. Enjoy.
We haven’t seen Ashley Tisdale in some time. I assume this means she’s been busy with work and romance and other such things that keep a girl with such stellar legs indoors, sadly, for us, good for her I guess. But now she’s back on the streets of L.A. in a photoshoot that apparently required no bra, or maybe Ashley just chose to go commando, but in either case, we are the winners.
This whole no-bra trend in general has been very beneficial to us ogling gentleman. I think it’s been scientifically proven now many times by guys with jobs I’d love to have that bras do little to actually support the supportive process in woman as they get a bit older. So the entirety of its purpose is style and humility, two characteristics for which we have little use. Ladies, throw out your bras. Just look at how fetching Ashley Tisdale becomes without her undergarments. Enjoy.
That Awkward Moment premiere last night gave me one awkward pause when Ashley Tisdale showed off her longest shorty legs in Hollywood, exhibiting her tightly toned gams that she works so very hard at the gym.
We used to see a ton of Ashley’s stems, but I think since she got this new boyfriend or something they’ve been off-limits and I have missed them terribly. Used to be we could count on a good Tisdale leg muscles flaunt once a week, now, far less often. So I was most grateful to see those gymnastic twirlers taken out for a stroll in front of the cameras. I really would like to be her leg moisturizing assistant. Provided she asks few questions about my choice of product. Enjoy.
As you might know, I’m something of a fashionista, known widely for my taste in haute couture, prêt-à-porter, and a bunch of other French type clothing words whose meaning escapes me at the moment. When three of my favorite sextastic celebrities appear in short black skirts over the weekend, I’m going to notice. I mean, I’m going to shake spasmodically, chew on a towel until I’m calm enough to function, then notice.
Katie Holmes was unusually high hem-lined in her little skirt at the Z100 Jingle Ball event in N.Y.:
While Ashley Tisdale sported her gladiator kilt and stockings shopping in Beverly Hills:
And, last, but most definitely not least, Jessica Alba, high-styled in an outfit which I’m sure cost more than my rent, but showed off her fine legs in boots to boot:
It was almost to much to bear, and yet not quite bare enough. It was in fact, very similar to a dream I have that involves me getting slapped across the face not twice but thrice for wandering hands. Thank you, ma’ams, may I have another? Enjoy.
Despite being snatched up in engagement by some guy I care not to know much about, Ashley Tisdale continues to have and to flaunt some of the best short girl gams in all of Tinsel Town. I suppose they belong to another man now, but that has never really stopped us before some taking in the unusually long toned legs on this hot shorty.
Someday, I too intend to propose to a woman and take her for my wife. How else to enter the reflective blues phase of my existence. For now, I shall merely covet thy neighbor’s wife. Especially when she’s wearing little tiny shorts or something and exhibiting some killer legs. Enjoy.