Video Games

E3 2013′s Most Mind Blowing and Anticipated Games: ‘Thief’

Garrett's Back, You Taffer...

These days, everything amazing-but-dated needs an equally amazing reboot. While publisher Square Enix has revived both of its Tomb Raider and Hitman franchises fairly recently, it's all ready to reboot another older-school title for next generation console awesomeness. That's right, taffers, Thief is back in all of it's arrows-to-the-dome glory and it is confirmed for E3.

The first-person steampunk stealth-'em-up looks a bit like it's second installment, but darker and more next-gen-ier. The new game will probably be familiar to younger Dishonored fans because that franchise practically owes its own existence to the original. From what we've seen, the new Thief will have pick-pocketing aplenty, that old familiar skull-cracking blackjack, and an endless quiver of arrow-shooting. While Garrett will be the face of this reboot, we're not sure if it's the same Garrett, or someone taking his mantle. Pure reboot or not, it's definitely going to be on PS4, Xbox One and PC.

Fox Hunt: Seven Sextastic Supergirls Remind Us to Make a Date With ‘Man of Steel’ Next Week

At a pinch, we could’ve squeezed septuplets into that headline somewhere. But that brings to mind all kinds of sisterly menage-a-huit images that leave us in need of a hasty cold shower, and we break our ‘washing more than once a month is strictly overkill’ rule for no man.

But to business: for those of us who missed the memo, Man of Steel is crotch-thrusting its way to theaters as we speak (presumably in a manly and steely fashion), to touch down next Friday. The best way to celebrate this fact, the Fox Hunt concluded, was the way that had a fine bevy of blonde strumpets in it. Needless to say, a good idea is a good idea.

Behold the above costume-ery and photography from Jenn at DangerousLadies, Still Visions and JJABarrett, and join us tomorrow for a look at the most notorious video game in superhero history, Superman 64.

E3 2013′s Most Mind Blowing and Anticipated Games: ‘Ryse’

Hack and Slash Xbox One-Style!

As we're forced to wait ONE MORE WEEK for ridiculous E3 amazingness, we have another exclusively Xbox One title to get us all excited. This one, Ryse, will let us get all stabby Kinect-style as a Roman warrior. As you can tell from the trailer, this game will probably reach previously unseen levels of badassery.

Once known as 'Codename Kingdoms', we first heard about Ryse at E3 2011 and have been in eager anticipation ever since. Developed by German studio Crytek, it looks to be the first worthwhile first-person hack-and-slash title in Xbox's repertoire since, well, ever. The pre-rendered scenes that we've been shown indicate that this game involve lots and lots of historically accurate murder. Oddly enough, the dude in the video barley breaks a sweat as he cuts apart a short-sword-wielding enemy and finished him off by throwing a sword at his face. We have a feeling some of us gamers will get a little more of a workout as we rise through the legions.

Not to worry, who among us couldn't use a little stab-tastic exercise?

The Snipe-Happy Deadshot, Boxart and New Voices for the Bat and the Joker in Our Latest Batman: Arkham Origins Update

We’re all acquainted with the eight assassins converge on Gotham City to murderize Batman in a Die Hard-esque Christmas shitstorm premise of Batman: Arkham Origins. (Unless you aren’t. In which case return to the previous sentence, with your eyes open this time). Said rogues gallery of mad, mad bastards is being steadily filled out, with Black Mask and Deathstroke and Killer Croc and Scarecrow confirmed to appear in some violent capacity or other. Now they have another playmate: the sniping supervillain Deadshot.
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‘Man of Steel’ Viral Game Simulates the Magic of Racing Your Finger Back and Forth

We're extremely stoked about Man of Steel, so stoked, in fact, we've been messing around with the film's pre-launch viral game. Sadly, it's about as exciting as guiding your cursor through a harrowing series of word documents. Yep, 'Metropolis Mayhem' launched last week  at metropolismayhem.manofsteel.com and it's not that fun.

The 2D viral game lets players fly Supes through a rendered Metropolis as he ducks and dives around floating laser beams, guided rockets, and plasma blasts. You basically use your keyboard really fast to make sure the rapidly flying Man of Steel doesn't hit anything dangerous while he collects point-adding symbols. Oh, and you can make him destroy some of those obstacles with short bursts of heat-vision.  The action of the game requires some fast reflexes on those arrow keys. And, man, don't hit those satellite dishes, because you only get to hit five of them or any other thing -- hit more than that and you kill the last son of Krypton.

Fine, it looks pretty and all, but we're not entirely sure wherein lies the mayhem.

‘Watch Dogs’ Brings Us Some Sweet, Sweet Violence in This Latest Motion Capture Trailer (VIDEO)

Watch Dogs Motion Capture Trailer Header
Ouch, that smarts!

In a resounding victory for bespectacled little bald guys with craptacular beards everywhere, Watch Dogs’ motion capture maestro is kicking all manner of ass in the above clip. We’re not sure if a ‘motion capture trailer’ is an actual thing that exists, but we won’t dispute the term. These mad bastards are, as you’ll see, ready to righteously smite our gonads with a painful pain-stick (‘tactical baton’) at any moment, so they can call it whatever the hell they want.

But, to business: protagonist Aiden Pearce’s abilities certainly look to reflect his ambiguous good guy/bad guy role. He’s more of a vigilante, using his hacking prowess to exact his own brand of justice in a city that has betrayed him (that little story hasn’t been revealed yet). If justice means sudden and vicious assault in the delicate facial region, he’s down with that. He’s Batman in a shitty brown coat with a scarf around his face like a dumbass, and we love him for it.

This allows for all kinds of opportunistic brutality, with the combat presented as a kind of resourceful street fighting. Take a look above to see it brought to graceful, athletic and slightly disturbing life.

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: When Artiness and A*siness Collide

As the weekend/beer ‘o’ clock approaches, let’s salute the end of another working week the only way we know how: with another cocktail of crazy (shaken, not stirred; we don’t want to piss off any secret agents from Merry Old England that may be passing by).

In this installment, asses are thrust where asses don’t belong, and artists bring pokémon into the real world in a bowel-looseningly disturbing fashion. If you want to see piss-takey hybrids of Grand Theft Auto and the Simpsons, dubbed 'Grand Theft Otto' (which you totally do), we’ve got a little of that too.

Gentlemen, set phasers to gallery perusal!
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