Gaming

The Weekly WTF: ‘Polybius’- When Arcade Machines Kill

News | April 23, 2015, 9:35 am

The Weekly WTF: ‘Polybius’- When Arcade Machines Kill

Yep. We’re not just talking about the Pac-Man machine in Dodgy Bob’s Shit-Stained Gameatorium, which was right next to the toilets and had all manner of suspect stains on the joystick. You’d probably have caught cholera or the plague or something just looking at it, true enough, but this is... Read More

'Grand Theft Auto V' Hots Up With Flaming Bullets and Other Cheats

News | April 22, 2015, 10:07 am

'Grand Theft Auto V' Hots Up With Flaming Bullets and Other Cheats

Grand Theft Auto V is, at the best of times, a bit of a shitstorm. The plot takes more nutty-ass turns than The Da Vinci Code, particularly where Trevor is involved. Car chases, helicopter chases, drug busts, multi-million dollar heists, tearing down the house of that tennis guy who was sleeping... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Luigi’s Mansion

News | April 21, 2015, 9:48 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Luigi’s Mansion

Nintendo, as we know, aren’t the most controversial of game makers. When did you last see Mario go on a Hatred-style homicide spree, wanging innocent bystanders in the scrote with a machete and spraying bullets about the damn place like Arnold Schwarzenegger? Never, that’s when. Theirs is... Read More

'Mortal Kombat' in Real Life Isn't Nearly as Badass as You'd Think

News | April 20, 2015, 10:05 am

'Mortal Kombat' in Real Life Isn't Nearly as Badass as You'd Think

Mortal Kombat, as we know, is a freaking dangerous business. There are heads, limbs, scrotes and spinal cords being viciously severed all over the place. If your opponent hasn’t been eviscerated into blood-leaky chunks on the ground, you haven’t won right. As such, it’s pretty well the ultimate... Read More

These ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Steam Reviews Are Far Too Good

News | April 17, 2015, 11:29 am

These ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Steam Reviews Are Far Too Good

As grandma always said, you can’t trust random assholes on the Internet. She had street smarts, did grandma, and she knew what was up. The web is full of big studly guys pretending to be hot Swedish twins (both of them at once). Spammers sending grammatically and medically questionable promises... Read More

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: Man, Nineties Video Game Ads Sucked Ass

News | April 17, 2015, 9:45 am

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: Man, Nineties Video Game Ads Sucked Ass

Remember the nineties? They were bollocks, weren’t they? Sir Mixalot’s love for women with gigantic asses, mice growing actual freaking human ears on their backs, cloned sheep... it was a confusing, ridiculous and often sucktastic time to be alive. Like my experimentation with a mustache... Read More

All the ‘Mortal Kombat X’ Brutalities You Can Handle

News | April 16, 2015, 9:27 am

All the ‘Mortal Kombat X’ Brutalities You Can Handle

Mortal Kombat’s iconic Fatalities are part of video game legend. Franchise fan or not, anyone with even a passing knowledge of all things gametastic will be familiar with the growl of FINISH HIM! A little more obscure, though, are those other methods of dispatching foes. Brutalities, Babalities,... Read More

‘Mortal Microtransactions Kombat X’ and the Easy Fatalities

News | April 15, 2015, 12:23 pm

‘Mortal Microtransactions Kombat X’ and the Easy Fatalities

Screw you, microtransactions. Do you remember the slice of pure nineties PC badassery that was Dungeon Keeper? If you don’t, we can’t be friends, I don’t want to play with you at recess, and I’m sure as hell not inviting you to my Chuck E. Cheese birthday party. But anywho, many players’... Read More

Let's Get Off Our Butts and Check Out April's Free PS Plus Games Lineup

News | April 15, 2015, 12:09 pm

Let's Get Off Our Butts and Check Out April's Free PS Plus Games Lineup

This mid-monthy point is a good time to stop and reassess. Are you being the renegade driving-grandma's-mobility-scooter-into-the-mouth-of-hell unstoppable badass you promised yourself you'd be this month? Are you doing everything your spouse/parole officer wants you to be doing? That fussy-ass April... Read More