Gaming

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Mega Man 2

News | October 14, 2014, 10:19 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Mega Man 2

Oh bollocks. It’s this guy. Buckle up, gentlemen, because Mega Man’s here. These games don’t eff around. Today, we’re partying like it’s 1988 and celebrating the most significant entry in the series. The one that propelled Mega Man to interstellar superstardom, and got him all the booze,... Read More

Crisis Over: The New 3DS WILL Let You Get Your Portable Porn On After All

News | October 13, 2014, 11:47 am

Crisis Over: The New 3DS WILL Let You Get Your Portable Porn On After All

As we know, Nintendo effing love re-releasing their handhelds. Seeing that they were onto a damn good thing with the DS, they brought us the DS Lite, the DS XL, and the DSi. We didn’t even know what the ‘i’ meant, but these kinds of shenanigans have been keeping Asian businessmen in saki and expensive... Read More

‘Ryse: Son of Rome’ Hits PC, as Hack and Slashtastic as Ever  (VIDEO)

News | October 13, 2014, 9:54 am

‘Ryse: Son of Rome’ Hits PC, as Hack and Slashtastic as Ever (VIDEO)

Almost a year ago, Ryse: Son of Rome released with the Xbox One. In many ways, it was the quintessential launch game (sorry, no effer is ready for words like quintessential on a Monday morning, but that’s just the kind of renegade badasses we are). Which is to say, it’s damn pretty, entertaining... Read More

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: The Scary-Ass Face Scan Fails of ‘NBA 2K15’

News | October 10, 2014, 10:24 am

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: The Scary-Ass Face Scan Fails of ‘NBA 2K15’

For almost two decades, Resident Evil has been giving us the freaking willies with its lumpen inhabitants. From the standard issue zombies to hideous mutato-freaks like Lisa Trevor and Nemesis, we’ve seen all kinds of horrors. When man-sized locusts are spitting acid at your face, you know you’ve... Read More

The Weekly WTF: What the Eff is Your Deal, Pyramid Head?

News | October 9, 2014, 10:20 am

The Weekly WTF: What the Eff is Your Deal, Pyramid Head?

In the survival horror genre, Resident Evil is the daddy. It may have died on its ass in recent installments, eschewing the horror for balls-out shooter ideals (there are more freaking bullets flying around than in the last half hour of Commando, right here), but that’s moot. These mofos practically... Read More

Gah! Check Out the Creepy Smiley Dudes of ‘The Evil Within’ (VIDEO)

News | October 8, 2014, 9:25 am

Gah! Check Out the Creepy Smiley Dudes of ‘The Evil Within’ (VIDEO)

Holy balls. We did not sign on for this. Look at these bastards, with their dead eyes and vacant expressions. Whatever they’re planning, it’ll presumably end with someone’s colon on a stick, and we don’t want to be a part of it. They look like those people in the dining room, in the only... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Starfox 64

News | October 7, 2014, 10:26 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Starfox 64

Happy birthday, N64, you ol’ gray bastard! Well, yes, if you’re going to be pernickety, we missed the party a bit. The console hit these United States of ours eighteen years ago last Tuesday. But hey, nuts to birthdays. They’re no big deal. I forgot my wife’s birthday last year, and she... Read More

Honest Game Trailers Gets Down and Mocktastic with ‘Destiny’ (VIDEO)

News | October 6, 2014, 11:50 am

Honest Game Trailers Gets Down and Mocktastic with ‘Destiny’ (VIDEO)

Honest Game Trailers, you cheeky bastards. Have some respect for your elders, your superiors, your... AAA games which don’t want you to know they actually underwhelmed our asses. Step forward, Destiny, the latest title to be tarred and feathered by Honest’s... feathery tar of piss-takery. Yes... Read More