Gaming

Early Xbox One Adopter? Microsoft Freaking Loves You; Has Gifts

News | November 21, 2014, 11:25 am

Early Xbox One Adopter? Microsoft Freaking Loves You; Has Gifts

If you really know your gaming shit, you’ll remember the sad plight of the 3DS. Its 2011 launch was, in corporate terms, a farcetacular disaster. What with the price and rumors of the 3D effect melting people’s freaking eyeballs right out of their sockets, sales were fairly awful. Price cuts... Read More

The Weekly WTF: Blob-based Weirdtastic With ‘A Boy and His Blob’

News | November 20, 2014, 10:59 am

The Weekly WTF: Blob-based Weirdtastic With ‘A Boy and His Blob’

When I was a boy, what awesome, badass-exuding pet did I own? A fish. Named Archie. Now, Archie didn’t have poisonous fangs or laser eyes or anything else we wanted our pets to have as boys. He couldn’t kill on command (unless ordered to ‘kill’ those sad brown flakes that fish eat). Frankly,... Read More

Years Later, ‘Batman: Arkham City’ is Still Full of Surprises

News | November 19, 2014, 11:50 am

Years Later, ‘Batman: Arkham City’ is Still Full of Surprises

There is nothing --effing nothing-- that Arkham City can’t do. Along with predecessor Arkham Asylum, it was the game that convinced the world licensed titles don’t have to be huge steaming shitheaps. Which is a freaking miracle in and of itself; I still break out in hives at the mere mention... Read More

Honest Game Trailers’ Latest Slice of Mocktastic: Smash Bros. (VIDEO)

News | November 19, 2014, 10:20 am

Honest Game Trailers’ Latest Slice of Mocktastic: Smash Bros. (VIDEO)

Smash Bros (or rather, the double whammy with Mario Kart 8) is pretty well the only thing likely to haul the Wii U out of Shit Creek at this point. It’s the kind of big ol’ exclusive it could’ve used about 2 years ago, but who’s counting? So it’s a big freaking deal. And if there’s... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Castlevania

News | November 18, 2014, 10:03 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Castlevania

You don’t eff with Castlevania. This ol’ bastard has become a real gaming fixture. To date, there have been over forty entries in the series, and that’s pretty damn impressive. If I knew what fancy-ass words like 'prolific' meant, I’d be typing them in your face in Castlevania’s honor right... Read More

Our Final Slice of ‘Battlefield 4’ DLC is on its Way

News | November 17, 2014, 10:03 am

Our Final Slice of ‘Battlefield 4’ DLC is on its Way

We might have the spangly new Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare and less-spangly-new-but-still-newer-than-this-effer Destiny entertaining us, but let’s spare a thought for Battlefield 4. The game’s first birthday has just passed, a year’s worth of sweet, sweet firearm-centric violence behind... Read More

Goddamn, ‘Mario Kart 8,’ Enough With the Links Already

News | November 14, 2014, 9:36 am

Goddamn, ‘Mario Kart 8,’ Enough With the Links Already

Turns out, the Wii U does still exist. Who the hell knew? Traditionally, ultra-studly dudes like ourselves aren’t big on the whole Wii thing. Sure, we had a curious waggle of the Wiimote during the Wii Sports hype phase (circa 2006), and made all kinds of embarrassing wanking motions with it... Read More