Gaming

‘Killing Floor 2’ and the Missing Nipple Rings

News | May 4, 2015, 11:49 am

‘Killing Floor 2’ and the Missing Nipple Rings

Now, there are a lot of freaking useless, dumbass ways to spend a year. You could try to develop a flesh-eating loaf of bread to defend your lawn from wayward postmen. You could campaign to get Congress to pass a law forbidding the words 'Justin Bieber’ being used on the Internet. But this? This... Read More

When Video Games Screw Up: Pregnant Man-Sims

News | May 4, 2015, 9:10 am

When Video Games Screw Up: Pregnant Man-Sims

Now, I don’t know if you were paying attention in first grade biology class, but how’s this for a big ol’ mothereffin’ factoid: dudes can’t get pregnant. Trust me on this. Male penguins and seahorses may carry the babies about like the poor whipped buggers of the animal kingdom they are,... Read More

MS-DOS Gaming Gives Twitter a Reason to Exist at Last

News | May 1, 2015, 11:48 am

MS-DOS Gaming Gives Twitter a Reason to Exist at Last

‘Twitter is simultaneously the best and worst thing ever,’ quoth Destructoid, bringing us this story. How do you argue with that? You don’t, that’s how. That lil’ blue bird, after all, is responsible for bringing hashtags into the world. It also provided a platform for Justin Bieber... Read More

The Weekly WTF: The Madness of ‘Killer 7’

News | April 30, 2015, 10:07 am

The Weekly WTF: The Madness of ‘Killer 7’

Everyone’s had a particularly unhinged dream and thought, where in the name of holy hell did that come from? Even if you haven’t, you have now, because I’m typing these words at your face and I make the rules here. You don’t want to eff with me, buddy boy. I do pilates on Tuesday evenings.... Read More

'Call of Duty: Black Ops III' Brings the SkyNet in a Big Way

News | April 29, 2015, 11:45 am

'Call of Duty: Black Ops III' Brings the SkyNet in a Big Way

You don’t eff with Call of Duty. You just duck and cover, brace yourself and let it wash over you like the indomitable force of nature that it is. It’s trailer time, gentlemen, and Treyarch demand your attention. The freshly-announced Black Ops III is doing things a little differently. The... Read More

‘Batman: Arkham Knight’ is Firing Both Barrels of Hypetastic Again

News | April 29, 2015, 9:18 am

‘Batman: Arkham Knight’ is Firing Both Barrels of Hypetastic Again

What with all the Grand Theft Auto V PC edition, heists and Bloodborne and all of that fancy stuff, our ol’ buddy Bruce hasn’t been getting much hype of late. It’s not fair on the poor guy, really. He lives for that shit. Why else would he go out in public dressed like that? Yep, it’s... Read More

Jason Voorhees Hits ‘Mortal Kombat X’ May 5

News | April 27, 2015, 11:50 am

Jason Voorhees Hits ‘Mortal Kombat X’ May 5

Jason, as we know, does not eff around. The murderous mummy’s boy has been eviscerating hapless trespassers on Crystal Lake his whole life, and is right up there with other horror legends of Movieland. Not many of us would want to tangle with Freddy Krueger, let alone make a mildly craptastic film... Read More

‘Grand Theft Auto V’ PC is Already Being Hit By the Mod-tastic Stick

News | April 27, 2015, 9:50 am

‘Grand Theft Auto V’ PC is Already Being Hit By the Mod-tastic Stick

Of course it is. Why do you think everyone was chomping at the bit and bitching about the PC version’s endless delays? Because they wanted to play as a skydiving cat, that’s why. As PC gamers will know, modders can do some weird, wonderful and shit-your-pants crazy things. Why not add a selfie... Read More

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: Gah! The Virtual Boy Is(n’t Really) Back!

News | April 24, 2015, 11:47 am

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: Gah! The Virtual Boy Is(n’t Really) Back!

Oh yes indeed. The Virtual Boy, that hideous abomination from the depths of the devil’s anus, is rearing its migraine-inducing head once again. Hold on to your butts, gentlemen, it’s going to be a bumpy ride. The more decrepit gamers among us remember the Virtual Boy, Nintendo’s odd little... Read More

House of Wolves: Something’s A-Stirrin’ Down ‘Destiny’ Way

News | April 24, 2015, 9:26 am

House of Wolves: Something’s A-Stirrin’ Down ‘Destiny’ Way

You know how it is with video games. There’s a shitstorm of multi-million dollar hypetastic pre-release. There’s TV spots, those annoying banner ads that take over the whole damn screen if your cursor comes within 50 yards of them, and eight million different special editions. A while after... Read More

The Weekly WTF: ‘Polybius’- When Arcade Machines Kill

News | April 23, 2015, 9:35 am

The Weekly WTF: ‘Polybius’- When Arcade Machines Kill

Yep. We’re not just talking about the Pac-Man machine in Dodgy Bob’s Shit-Stained Gameatorium, which was right next to the toilets and had all manner of suspect stains on the joystick. You’d probably have caught cholera or the plague or something just looking at it, true enough, but this is... Read More

'Grand Theft Auto V' Hots Up With Flaming Bullets and Other Cheats

News | April 22, 2015, 10:07 am

'Grand Theft Auto V' Hots Up With Flaming Bullets and Other Cheats

Grand Theft Auto V is, at the best of times, a bit of a shitstorm. The plot takes more nutty-ass turns than The Da Vinci Code, particularly where Trevor is involved. Car chases, helicopter chases, drug busts, multi-million dollar heists, tearing down the house of that tennis guy who was sleeping... Read More