Gaming

Yep, 'Alien: Isolation' Will Creep You Out. And Kill You (VIDEO)

News | September 29, 2014, 11:27 am

Yep, 'Alien: Isolation' Will Creep You Out. And Kill You (VIDEO)

Horror films and horror games aren’t all that, y’know, scary. We don’t say this because we’re manly man-beasts with gonads of steeliest steel, who fear nothing and no-one (we are, naturally, but that’s moot). More because we’re big ol’ cynical bastards. We’ve seen it all before. The... Read More

Get Your Badass Breakfast On, Zelda Style

News | September 29, 2014, 10:15 am

Get Your Badass Breakfast On, Zelda Style

See this? This is pretty damn cool, right here. Or rather, it’s the polar opposite of cool, which makes it all the effing cooler. As we know, mornings suck. Monday mornings? They’re the suckiest suck that ever sucked. You know the routine: you’ll hit the snooze button seventeen times, wish... Read More

The Weekly WTF: 'Revolution X,' the Aerosmith-Branded Shooter

News | September 25, 2014, 9:42 am

The Weekly WTF: 'Revolution X,' the Aerosmith-Branded Shooter

Ricky Wilson, frontman of Brit-tastic shit-tastic pop prattlers Kaiser Chiefs, once exclaimed that he would “...wank off a tramp for success.” This probably tells you all you need to know about the depths celebrities will sink to. Hulk Hogan appeared in the worst breakfast cereal commercial ever... Read More

‘Sunset Overdrive’ Isn’t for Fat Guys

News | September 24, 2014, 9:41 am

‘Sunset Overdrive’ Isn’t for Fat Guys

You may be familiar with Sunset Overdrive. It’s a demented Jet Grind Radio-esque toontastic shitstorm of a shooter, with quite possibly the greatest plot in recent video games. Our protagonist is a worker at an energy drink factory, who are holding a spangly cocktail party to celebrate the release... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Medieval- Total War

News | September 23, 2014, 9:52 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Medieval- Total War

As 80‘s New Wave shit-tacular Tears for Fears once sang, Everybody Wants to Rule the World. What ‘everybody’ forgets, though, is what a pain in the ass that would actually be. All paperwork, board meetings and huge fancy-ass lunches on expenses. Who the hell has time for that? Fear not though,... Read More

(Not) Motorboating the Biggest Boobs Ever, at the Tokyo Game Show

News | September 22, 2014, 9:27 am

(Not) Motorboating the Biggest Boobs Ever, at the Tokyo Game Show

Some games just can’t resist the chest-tastic breast-tastic. As we speak, Dead or Alive is perfecting its new ‘sweatiness’ mechanic, which sees the tops of its perky pugilists getting increasingly see-through as fights go on. Then there’s Senran Kagura, which managed to turn an innocuous cooking... Read More

Mario and 'Mortal Kombat' Collide; Balls-Out Crazy Ensues (VIDEO)

News | September 17, 2014, 11:39 am

Mario and 'Mortal Kombat' Collide; Balls-Out Crazy Ensues (VIDEO)

We all know of Nintendo’s family-friendly stance. Mario is generally seen cruising happily through the Mushroom Kingdom, amidst a shitstorm of bright toontastic colors, jangly music and all of that cutesy stuff. That’s the way it is, the way it should be and the way it damn well must be. Remember... Read More

Check Out the New and Improved Badassery of ‘Doom Reborn’ (VIDEO)

News | September 17, 2014, 9:15 am

Check Out the New and Improved Badassery of ‘Doom Reborn’ (VIDEO)

Doom, as we all know damn well, is the ultimate in man-tastic manly gaming. With its studly space marine and relentless gung-ho blood-leaky action, this is as masculine as it gets. Players have been known to grow huge effing Game of Thrones beards, or lose the ability to admit they’re lost and ask... Read More