Gaming

‘Grand Theft Auto V’ REALLY Wants us to Buy the Next-Gen Version Too

News | October 31, 2014, 11:42 am

‘Grand Theft Auto V’ REALLY Wants us to Buy the Next-Gen Version Too

That’s next-gen in the 'current-gen' sense, naturally. Because current-gen (that being the Xbox 360 and PS3) is now last-gen, making next-gen (PS4 and Xbox One) now merely current-gen. The gaming world speeds onwards, unrelenting; a badass renegade heading straight into the mouth of hell on grandma’s... Read More

The Weekly WTF: The Horrors of Mr. Resetti

News | October 30, 2014, 10:10 am

The Weekly WTF: The Horrors of Mr. Resetti

Nintendo, as we know, is the home of family friendly funtimes. It’s all toontastic bright colors and rainbows shining from everyone’s assholes and all of that good stuff. Or so we’ve been led to believe. Somewhere behind the scenes, there’s a mad, mad bastard insidiously adding the creeptastic... Read More

Ebola is Boosting the Popularity of the Doomtacular ‘Plague Inc’

News | October 29, 2014, 11:32 am

Ebola is Boosting the Popularity of the Doomtacular ‘Plague Inc’

Now, this whole ebola deal is the kind of thing that even the most callous of assholes shouldn’t be joking about. But needless to say, the internet is pretty damn good at callous assholes. Have you seen Twitter recently? It’s like open mic night at the Not-Effing-Funny Ebola Jokeatorium. I’m... Read More

A Great Use for Xbox One's Kinect at Last: Pizza!

News | October 29, 2014, 9:06 am

A Great Use for Xbox One's Kinect at Last: Pizza!

Xbox One’s Kinect was looking a little superficial. The sort of contraption that can elicit an ‘ooh, that’s kinda cool’ or two, but is really completely effing unnecessary. Like those robot toys you demanded from grandma for Christmas. Sure, it was fun to fire its lil’ foam darts at the... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Duke Nukem 3D

News | October 28, 2014, 9:31 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Duke Nukem 3D

Yes indeed, it’s Duke mothereffin’ Nukem. Grease your pectorals, dick about with your hair until it reaches Guile levels of dumbassiness, take your pants off, and pay attention. As we all know damn well, the Duke is the pinnacle of man-tastic gaming heroes. He strides about with his cannonball-like... Read More

‘Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas HD’ Hits Xbox 360 Today

News | October 27, 2014, 10:23 am

‘Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas HD’ Hits Xbox 360 Today

Now this is pretty damn bargaintastic right here. And I don’t use that word lightly. Or, y'know, ever. Anywho, yes indeed. As we saw on Friday, this weekend marked the tenth anniversary of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas’ release. To mark the momentous occasion, there was... a half-assed little... Read More

‘GTA Online’ Hosts its San Andreas Anniversary Weekend

News | October 24, 2014, 11:51 am

‘GTA Online’ Hosts its San Andreas Anniversary Weekend

Has it really been ten years? Ten years since CJ, mothereffin’ combine harvesters and the piss-poor simu-sex of the Hot Coffee mod? Well, of course it has. That’s what I’m telling you. Pay attention, damn it. Yes indeed, October 26 marks the tenth anniversary of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.... Read More

The Weekly WTF: When Super Mario and Super Nazi Penises Collide

News | October 23, 2014, 9:48 am

The Weekly WTF: When Super Mario and Super Nazi Penises Collide

I... don’t know. I really, really don’t. Mario, as we know, is the embodiment of all that is good in the gaming world. What with his merry woohoos and his ceaseless princess rescue-ery, he’s a goodly hero of the highest order. As he cruises through the cheerful, primary colored vistas of... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Ikaruga

News | October 21, 2014, 10:39 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Ikaruga

If you’re well-versed in the gamertastic, you’ll know one thing: Treasure are the masters of effing incredible shooters. Whether it’s cult classic Gunstar Heroes or the balls out, look-at-me-I’m-a-freakish-bird-dude-in-a-spacesuit-with-a-laser madness of Alien Soldier, you can’t argue with... Read More