If you really know your gaming shit, you’ll remember the sad plight of the 3DS. Its 2011 launch was, in corporate terms, a farcetacular disaster. What with the price and rumors of the 3D effect melting people’s freaking eyeballs right out of their sockets, sales were fairly awful.
Price cuts and other such big-business shenanigans saved it, but early buyers were pissed. So much so, Nintendo pulled the Ambassador Program out of their asses; a series of free downloadable games available only to those who bought the handheld at its original, too-damn-much price.
Three years later, here’s Xbox One. It didn’t quite hit store shelves ass-first, but nor has it been the sales sensation it could have. The next-gen hype train promised much, and has failed to really deliver a killer app in a year of trying.
Fear not though, spangly new console owners. Microsoft are here to remind us that they do love us. No, really. Sure, they don’t call as often as they should, but they’ve been busy. What with the new baby and the move and all. But hey, presents.
If you’ve bought an Xbox One in the last year, quoth Kotaku, you’ve got a magical email of free stuff coming at you down your Internet-pipe as we speak. Early adopters are being rewarded with an exclusive Year One gamer picture, backgrounds for the console and free time-limited rentals (of Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn and Dragon Ball Z: Battle of the Gods).
If that’s not enough for you (which it isn’t, because it’s a bit wank frankly), you’ll also be entered into draws to win everything from limited edition console bundles to a GTA Online Tiger Shark cash card ($200,000 in-game GTA dollars).