Egotastic
Well, no. No they didn’t. Nevertheless, as we’ve seen, these wacky funsters had a different objective to their rivals. With their own next-gen wonderbox already on store shelves (where it seems to be remaining for the most part, wallowing in its own crap/sad, sad tears of sadness, but it’s there nonetheless), there was no three-way wang-waving ‘no, look at our new console, or we’ll kick you in the eyeballs’ shitstorm to be seen on the show floor.
Much as we’d all like to have seen a trio of furious CEOs wrestling in a pit, greased chests
a-heaving and tiny wrestler’s underpants a-bulging, it was not to be. Nintendo decided to have no part in the festivities.
Indeed, their presence at E3 2013 consisted only of ‘Nintendo Direct’ footage (regularly scheduled online updates, generally featuring boss-man Satoru Iwata dicking around in a Luigi cap or something). The question, then, is just what was shown? Will there be enough balls-out badass first party releases to keep Wii U trucking once PlayStation 4 and Xbox One arrive? Take a look at the gallery for our top 5 picks of the games Nintendo presented at the show.
One Last Bosomy Hurrah: E3 2013‘s Top 5 Sexy Booth Babes (VIDEO)
Booth babe-ery is becoming something of a dying art. The women of the world, it seems, are being convinced not to use their beguiling superpowers for evil (after all, we’d buy gasoline-flavored breakfast cereal if its logo was spread across a fine pair of chesticles). Not quite so often, anyway.
Nevertheless, where there’s an ogling will, there’s a way. Said will appears to be strong with ZoominGames, who recently brought us their pick of the fine ladies of E3 2013. We’re all kinds of on board.
Take a look above, as questionable gaming credentials meet bountiful cleavages and... surprise musical interludes from George 'Hey there, want to share a urinal?’ Michael. It’s also confirmed that glasses are still just as much of a slightly nerdly aphrodisiac as ever. In case anyone's 'nads missed that memo.