Kate Upton has this new thing where she’s doing magazine spreads in stylish, fashiony, kind of retro chic something or other. Since her latest such visual affair takes place in Elle magazine, I’ll have to assume this is for the ladies who get stimulated by seeing such artistry. For us men folk, and our beloved Sapphic leaning women, the staging of it all seems to unnecessary, compared to, say, pictures of Kate Upton eating Cheerios in the buff. See, I just invented a motif that would take five minutes and garner one-hundred times as many interested eyeballs.
But, alas, horny men do not rule the world, just the halls of Congress, so we must obliged the large number of decent but misguided folks on this spinning orb who delight in seeing a fully clothed Kate Upton. Blessedly, there’s no amount of staging or wardrobe that could possibly take away from the allure of Kate Upton. Have at it proper fashionable ladies. You can take away our simple skin views but you can’t take away our imaginations. Enjoy.
Oh, Katy Cocktease has found another way to get the men interested, in this case going below the belt to flash some seriously good looking legs in the new edition of Elle magazine. Granted, there may be a little post-production angelic effect going on in this photos, but there’s no denying that for all we mock Katy for her show-but-not-all wayward stance, she’s one alluring pop diva.
One day, Katy Perry will realize the errors of her ways, the mistake in thinking it’s okay to use your body to build a career, without ever showing her body in full and fine fashion. Until that day, we’ll revel in the delights we can and think loudly inside our own brains, ‘Dammit, Katy, show us your boobs already!’. Enjoy.
I could watch Bar Refaeli cleaning trout and get a four hour stiffie requiring immediate medical attention. Oversharing? Absolutely. But I feel compelled to gush my inner most deep and profound feelings of procreative lust any and all times I get feast peeps upon this ridiculously hot Israeli supermodel. Bar Refaeli lives in that class of the sextastic where you feel like she can’t even be real. If you touch her, she may disappear. Though, of course, you’re going to try and touch her.
Even in this rather innocent spread in the current edition of Elle Spain, Bar Refaeli glows like a highly refined vision of lust inducement, smiling for the cameras so nonchalantly, as if she’s not causing millions of men around the world to simultaneously grimace. That is power. True power. I wish Bar would hold me down and lay some of it upon me. Oh, Bar! Enjoy.
You know by now the financial, physical, and emotional toll I pay each month to receive my copious copies of the world’s leading ladies magazines. Oh, how the middle school skater kids to taunt and tease me at my very own stoop. But it’s ever worthwhile when that secret nugget within is revealed. No, not the perfume sampler. I save that for date night. I’m talking about an eye-catching pictorial with an eye-popping hottie. Something along the sextastic lines of Elsa Hosk in the July edition of Elle magazine.
Elsa does her Swedish people quite proud with very straightforward blonde Nordic hotness. Checking out Elsa in these casual beachy flirtatious type get-ups, it’s quite easy to imagine her our summer time girlfriend, keeping the day time fires lit so that the night time may be filled with burning embers of passion. I just made that up. I know, it’s soft core genius. But with Elsa, it might take more than a few turns of the phrase to get her into less than she’s wearing in these photos. Maybe like a Wimbledon title or a mansion or something like that. I need to get working on that. Enjoy.
Well, now that she’s a mom, I hope that Shakira, the world’s hottest midget, will not be keeping that tiny fine body of hers off limits. We have become accustomed to a certain amount of ridiculously hot booty shaking from the Colombian and I’m personally not prepared to live without it.
Shakira’s new spread for Elle magazine is most definitely designed for the ladies, but there’s no denying we found a little (lot) of ogle-worthy interest betwixt the pictorials pages, most especially this lead image of the super fine little diva. She is one minxy mama. Must have in some form or fashion. Enjoy.
You’ll thank me later. Oh, you won’t write a letter or send me money, but in the back of your mind, you will pay forward gratitude for this introduction to the incredibly hot Victoria Lee. The next in the seemingly ceaseless line of ridiculously sextastic models out of Australia, Victoria scored a sweet pictorial in Elle France, making it about time you got to know her.
Now, Victoria Lee is hardly a catchy name or a unique odd name you’ll easily remember. But I want you to nevertheless. Because if there’s one thing I’m about it’s education. And today’s lesson is in the covered topless glorious visuals of one Victoria Lee. This will be on the final. Enjoy.
I know it seems like forever that I’ve been courting Lithuanian super hottie supermodel Edita Vilkeviciute to be my betrothed, forever and forever, or until the sex stops being any good, so maybe like a year or two if we’re being honest. And it seems like I’ve made little progress in this martial regard. But while some might be deterred by the lack of response to over 882 separate letters of passion mailed to Edita in the past three years, 14 of which contained things that have grown on my body, I just see it as a super sextastic catty woman playing the long teasy game of seduction.
And seduce Edita does in her latest pictorial in Elle magazine France where the long and lean beauty gets so excited, she has to touch her own hot self, wrapping her long fingers around her funbags to keep herself looking modest, and/or just really effin’ hot. While we’d love for the kitten to lose her mittens and flash her bare loves to the world, there’s something super passion inducing about Edita and her hand-bras, the kind I hope to unhook on the evening of our wedding. Enjoy.