Elle magazine Posts:

Shakira Simple Sextastic in Elle

Well, now that she's a mom, I hope that Shakira, the world's hottest midget, will not be keeping that tiny fine body of hers off limits. We have become accustomed to a certain amount of ridiculously hot booty shaking from the Colombian and I'm personally not prepared to live without it.

Shakira's new spread for Elle magazine is most definitely designed for the ladies, but there's no denying we found a little (lot) of ogle-worthy interest betwixt the pictorials pages, most especially this lead image of the super fine little diva. She is one minxy mama. Must have in some form or fashion. Enjoy.

Victoria Lee Covered Topless And Extraordinarily Hot in Elle

You'll thank me later. Oh, you won't write a letter or send me money, but in the back of your mind, you will pay forward gratitude for this introduction to the incredibly hot Victoria Lee. The next in the seemingly ceaseless line of ridiculously sextastic models out of Australia, Victoria scored a sweet pictorial in Elle France, making it about time you got to know her.

Now, Victoria Lee is hardly a catchy name or a unique odd name you'll easily remember. But I want you to nevertheless. Because if there's one thing I'm about it's education. And today's lesson is in the covered topless glorious visuals of one Victoria Lee. This will be on the final. Enjoy.

Edita Vilkeviciute Covered Topless Glorious Hand-Bras for Elle

I know it seems like forever that I've been courting Lithuanian super hottie supermodel Edita Vilkeviciute to be my betrothed, forever and forever, or until the sex stops being any good, so maybe like a year or two if we're being honest. And it seems like I've made little progress in this martial regard. But while some might be deterred by the lack of response to over 882 separate letters of passion mailed to Edita in the past three years, 14 of which contained things that have grown on my body, I just see it as a super sextastic catty woman playing the long teasy game of seduction.

And seduce Edita does in her latest pictorial in Elle magazine France where the long and lean beauty gets so excited, she has to touch her own hot self, wrapping her long fingers around her funbags to keep herself looking modest, and/or just really effin' hot. While we'd love for the kitten to lose her mittens and flash her bare loves to the world, there's something super passion inducing about Edita and her hand-bras, the kind I hope to unhook on the evening of our wedding. Enjoy.

Sara Sampaio Is Simply Just Killing Me Now

This Portuguese hottie simply won't quit. In her new spread in Elle Russia, the dark sultry beauty puts on even more killer poses that make me want to learn a foreign language, and, dare I say, consider a little romance in my life.

I don't mean flowers and candy and dressing up for chit chat at a tapas bar. No, my definition of romance with a woman as smoking sextastic as Sara Sampaio is more likely to involve silken ropes, a jar of organic clover honey, and the passion of ten thousand men, packed into three minutes of ecstasy that has to include ESPN's Top 10 Plays and full release.

I hope Sara likes it too. Honey is good for the skin. Enjoy.

Nicki Minaj Flashes Her Goods for Elle

All the girls gossip sites are abuzz today with the shocking news that Nicki Minaj missed the opening of American Idol last night because she was stuck in her car in traffic. I'd comment, if I weren't late for work 78% of days. (But I am smart enough to sneak in the back door and pretend like I've been there for an hour when I pass somebody important). As for us, we'd rather comment on Nicki's cleavage in Elle magazine this month. Lust her or dislike her, or just plain want her to stop talking so you can dislike her less and lust her more, Nicki has the curves going on. And she's not afraid to show them.

Accentuate the positive, Julie Andrews taught me on endless loop in the Skinner box I was raised in as a child of a vastly overreaching social experiment. And Nicki must have heard the same. Which is why her asstastic and funbags are never not on public display. Enjoy.

Eniko Mihalik Topless Goodness for Elle France


Supermodels really are the greatest. In what other line of work can you find women at the very top of their profession willing to take their tops off at the office? That kind of thing never happened in the Macy's women's shoe department, I assure you.

But Hungarian supermodel Eniko Mihalik is flashing her body and upper body topless goodness in this month's Elle magazine France. It's like Elle magazine in the U.S., except for being lame and boring, it has topless models like Eniko. And topless models make everything better. If my dentist was a hot topless model, I'd be signing up for multiple root canals this minute. Enjoy.

Barbara Palvin Hotness Shines Through Even the Most Artsy Chick Magazine Coverings

I'll really never understand two things about women: first, why they need 25 minutes to drop a deuce in the restroom, and, second, why they love to see other women wearing masks and veils and elaborate Victorian era costumes, rather than just, say, nekkid, or perhaps some panties and a bra. I guess the latter has something to do with the same reason women like foreplay. Okay, now that's three things I'll never understand.

However, when it comes to a woman as hot as young Victoria's Secret phenom, Barbara Palvin, we can finally come together as a gender and declare that even dolled up in silly costumery, Barbara Palvin is so effin' hot she can deliver tingly feelings to both men and women in spreads like her current Elle U.K. cover pictorial. Veils and goofy wardrobe (which I'm sure costs more than half of year's rent for me) can not block the power of the Palvin sextastic.

Though once tainted by rumors of a fling with The Devil's Midget, Barbara Palvin has put that little fay boy love in her past and her future looks very hot indeed. Enjoy.