Elle magazine

Rihanna Is Super Sexy In Elle Magazine

Pop princess and seriously sexy person Rihanna is smoking hot in a spread in the December issue of Elle Magazine. She wears different revealing outfits that all feature some serious cleav. But the really exciting pics are the ones that are covered topless. Rihanna has an incredibly boobtacular pair of funbags. They are big and plump like a melon only made of booby flesh. I’ve been a fan of Rihanna’s ta-tas since back when I first saw them in one of those Bring It On movies that she was in for some reason. The movie wasn’t great but it did feature Rihanna’s boobies. I’d like to thank Elle Magazine for making these pics happen. A special shout out goes to whoever thought up Rihanna just going ahead and taking her shirt off.

Luckily, Rihanna likes to have her chichis hanging out a good deal of the time. Call it fashion, call it provocative, I am all for it.

Anne Hathaway Shines In Black and White Reveals in Elle

Anne Hathaway is not much for showing off the skin. The modest to Bohemian drab real life young lady is more often draped in flowing garments than exhibiting any fleshy goodness in public, contrary to many of her more revealing film roles. Such it was a pleasant surprise to open up my women’s magazines from the U.S. and abroad to discover Anne on the pages of the new Elle U.K., showing off a little something something, even if it must inevitably conform to her lightly goofy and artistic photo sensibilities.

Anne Hathaway gets a bad rap among the public at large on the personality quotient. I say bad rap because she’s really not out there enough for anyone to get a decent picture of anything close to the real Anne Hathaway. While I’m the kind of guy who is first onto the diving board in his Speedo and bullhorn looking for attention, I understand that more reclusive people tend to be unfairly labeled as arrogant or smarmy or standoffish. Though some of them clearly are. I probably need to see Anne nekkid a few more times before fully forming an opinion. Enjoy.

Emma Watson Wet Haired and White Hot in Elle

I’m trying to think of somebody who transforms as wonderfully as Emma Watson for magazine pictorials. Certainly, she’s a confidently hot young actress offline, but when she hits the pages of fashion magazines with the whole shebang, something one level higher just exudes from every pixel. She’s just so damn hot. Like a real bit of magic.

Featured in the coming month’s Elle U.K. magazine, Emma shows exactly why everybody and anybody wants to have her sextastic presence modeling in their periodicals. She is an eye stopped of the highest level. Obviously, I’d love to see her in even less, but I’m afraid to offend the gods by asking for too much. So I’ll just imagine that part myself. I’m quite experienced in such matters. Enjoy.

Chloe Moretz Getting all Grow’d Up in Elle, This Is the Start of Something Wonderful

I know. I’m an eternal optimist. I can’t help but feel forever positive when my job is to swim in the river of the celebrity sextastic and that river keeps widening and getting ever deeper. Take for example Chloe Moretz. The teen thespianic and major movie darling is finally starting to get a bit risque in her magazine photoshoots, albeit not quite like she might when she reaches the important mile marker next February.

Chloe’s beautiful light shines through in her rather cleavetastic bit of wonderment in the new edition of Elle magazine. A number of more progressive actresses and models have started  their exhibitionist campaigns on the pages of this very same magazine. Will Chloe’s next photoshoot for this showy fashion magazine be even more revealing? The eternal optimist in me say, it is decidedly so. That might actually be the Magic-8 ball I swallowed on a dare. Chloe, so much goodness lies in your future I couldn’t even begin to calculate it with my pinching fingers counting technique. It all kind of starts now. Enjoy.

Julija Steponaviciute Topless Lean Hotness in Elle France

 
Julija Steponaviciute Topless in Elle France August 2014 by David Burton
Click to See Uncensored

No relation to Edita Vilkeviciute, my future hot wife, Julija Steponaviciute is a tall, lean, super hot Lithuanian model presence of her own these days, modeling since a young teen, now in her early 20′s and making a big splash in the likes of Elle France where they do love to show off hot model bare boobtastic.

And what a body it is. Julija’s body seems to go on forever, which in my mind, it really actually is continuing forever and her perfect Lithuanian funbags, oh, just the absolutely righteous dessert to a hot body meal. I really think I need to start investigating this viciute family lineage in Lithuania, staring with all the 6-foot tall super hot ones. Line them up. The inspection is ready to begin! Enjoy.

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Anna Kendrick Hot in Elle (Says She Still Can’t Find Any Boy Action)

Now, I’m not one to completely dismiss this nonsense among the hot celebrity ladies that they have trouble finding dates. I think there is something to be said for guys feeing girls are out of their reach for some reason, and just general environment and bubble, that prevents these sextastic talents from being hit on by decent guys as often as you might believe. So I’m willing to listen to the complaints from the likes of Anna Kendrick about nobody asking her out on a date for about two minutes. It’s at that point I think to myself, wait, what about the 10,000 crayon written letters I’ve sent you through the years asking you to be my bowling partner at the leather and bondage lanes tourney?

Anna Kendrick, just look at you in this Elle magazine spread. I’m not feeling sorry for you. I am feeling rather lusty however. Oh, that gorgeous body and overbite that I just want to feel nibble in awkward pattern across my underserving body. Anna, no more lonely nights for you, let’s make this loofah scrub down relationship happen. I have so many sponges ready to go you would not believe. Up in the air, Anna, that’s my safety word. Enjoy.

Hana Jirickova Topless Euro Space Age For the Frenchy Version of Elle

 
Hana Jirickova Topless in Elle France May 2014
Click to See Uncensored

If you happen to love your fashion models super Czech and super hot and just a tad bit topless and perfectly funbagged, then prepare to dig Hana Jirickova in the French version of Elle where ta-ta’s are often unfurled if for no other reason than to laugh at the Puritanical Americans. I’m as patriotic as the next guy, but if European magazines want to stick it to our extreme modesty by way of exhibiting all their models without their tops on, then I’m prepared to suffer their indignant taunts. Especially when it means more girls like Hana flashing their hotness with a taste of sweet bare teat, like sweet icing on the world’s most fappable cake.

Oh, sure, the tween-aged street bullies do taunt me when my Elle arrives at the front stoop. But how I taunt them back with the satisfaction of flipping through a women’s fashion magazine loaded with barely dressed hotties. That’s not really taunting I suppose, but there are so many of those little rapscallion skateboard artists around my place, I have to be careful. Hana, welcome to Egotastic! Enjoy.

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