Bikinis Posts:

Gerard Butler’s New Girlfriend Bikinis In Malibu

Gerard Butler's mysterious new girlfriend rocked a tiny black bikini while hanging out with him in Malibu. No one seems to know who this girl is, hence why we can only refer to her as Gerard Butler's girlfriend. King Leonidas has been seen around town canoodling with her, so I guess marching his little Spartan up her Thermopylae. Yes, I paid attention in ancient World history. What I do know for sure is that she's got a pretty awesome body. Her booty in particular is nice and shapely. I do so love a woman with a nice tight but round booty. She's fairly thin but not scary LA model thin where you can see all of her bones like a street dog in one of those depressing Sarah McLaughlin commercials.

Whoever this mystery woman is I am hoping we get to see more of her in a bikini. Lucky for us they live in LA where you can pretty much wander around in a bikini year round.

Casey Batchelor Bikini Strapless Yachting Funtimes in Ibiza

I guess yachting season isn't quite over yet in the Mediterranean environs. When I get my own sea-worthy vessel, she shall circle the globe 365 days a year, though mostly because I'll forget to pay my mooring charges and they'll set her adrift. Fair enough, so long as I'm stranded at sea with the likes of TOWIE starlet Casey Batchelor who wears a bikini rather noticeably well.

Casey was down in Ibiza partying on a yacht not belonging to me and seemingly well aware every man within a thousand leagues was ogling her super fine and buxom bikini body. That there is some kind of lighthouse power. I don't care how nice your yacht is, the hot girl standing on the bow in a strapless bikini is still the captain. Casey, you are looking might fine these days. Permission to come board? Please, grant it. Enjoy.

Chelsea Heath Covered Topless Bikini Booting Pimping Continues for the Faptastic Gods

It's no secret I've become quite smitten with Chelsea Heath. I'm not a gambling man, well, okay, I am, but I have a sneaky feeling we'll bee seeing much more of this divine bikini hottie in the near future. As for now, we have another peek at the ridiculously hot bikini body of this young L.A. model pimping the creepy 138 water on the shores of Malibu, somewhere close to a bar I once remember being thrown out of . Mixed feelings for me, with a strong lean toward passion inducement thanks to Chelsea's perfect bikini booty.

The more I see these incredibly passion inducing bikini babes pouring this 138 water over their bodies, the more I believe this mysteriously non-existent bottled water product is more likely an elixir that promotes serious hot body growth from the outside. No way to know for sure so, Chelsea, keep on pouring over your fun bits. Daddy will be there soon to mop up. That sounded really creepy as well. Though brutally honest i assure you. Enjoy.

Pippa Middleton Bikini Licious Peeks on Holiday in Italy

Pippa Middleton faded fast like one of those one-hit wonder bands. Well, two hit wonders if you count both of her booty cheeks that threatened to upstage her sister and future Queen of England at her wedding. Not long after that, some Beefeater or MI-6 fellow got to Pippa and she was thereafter in oversized sweaters and loose dresses and looking like the girl who isn't expecting to dance at the school homecoming. It was really kind of sad. Though I surprise sacrifices must be made for the glory of the realm.

Pippa is back for the first time in a very long while in a bikini on vacation somewhere super fancy in Italy. She's back in a bikini we haven't seen her donning since I can't remember and looking might nice. Perhaps not as breathtaking as during those early sibling nuptial introductions, but a talent bikini clad woman nevertheless. Pippa, my Pippa, how does your garden grow. Actually, I think I see a few hints as to the answer. Enjoy.

Ashley Lee Wet and See-Through Bikini Shoots for Bottled Water Pimping Time

And the hits and something that rhymes with hits keeps on coming from the unusually operating peeps at 138 Water. This time, in the wet and alluring beach guise of model Ashley Lee and her very transparent top and little bikini bottom. Oh, Ashley is a naughty girl who pours her overpriced bottled water not sold in any stores all over her shirt by accident. I'm ready to play into this little action adventure setup. I'll be the evil wizard who takes control of her motor skills by crooked spell and causes her to keep pouring. Not that I've put any thought into this.

Ashley Lee, at some point, you're going to need a strong, but gentle man to pat you dry. Please, allow me. It's only what I went to the Learning Annex to learn how to do better than anyone else on this planet. Small dabs, circular motions, high thread count pima cotton towels. I'm your man. Skype me under PERVERT6969. I'll answer. Enjoy.

Daphne Joy Bikini Bodacious Boobtastic Time in Sin City

Bodacious bikini racktastic, thy name is Daphne Joy.

We'd always known Daphne as the 50 Cent baby mama. Then suddenly she began appearing much more publicly and much more revealing and we suddenly knew her as the bosomy bikini baby who we'd like to try and get back to our Vegas hotel room. I mean, once we convince the three guys we're sharing it with to take a hike for a couple hours. That's some kind of trick.

I'm not sure why Daphne Joy was sharing so much joy by a Las Vegas casino pool, but I'll just assume she was there for the sole purpose of torturing my soul. She's a bit of a climb I suppose, but I'm willing to strap on the boots and get the harnesses and o-rings ready for a monumental ascent. Carpe funbags. Enjoy.

Dakota Johnson Bikini Pictures Have Me Fifty Shades of Blue Bo-Bo’s

Get it, because Dakota Johnson is about to star in and be spanked in Fifty Shades of.... never mind. The point is, even if you don't go watch that silly, albeit nekkid movie next Valentine's Day, Dakota Johnson, daughter of Melanie and Don via their second marriage, is about to become worldwide famous. And judging by her bikini visuals in Sicily, I'd say Dakota is just about ready for fame to come and find her.

I let women pretty easily into my home, but into my heart, that's another matter. I have to be a bit more selective. I'm not sure Dakota Johnson is there yet, but I have this sneaking suspicion she gets there soon. Like, maybe in four more bikini bent-over booty shots. That's certainly a credential builder for getting to my sweet spot. Enjoy.