Professional hot person Cassie Cardel used her considerable assets to hawk expensive water for storied brand and lovers of chicks in bikinis 138 Water. Cassie has a pretty fantastic rack and the tiny bikini did little to contain them. There’s plenty of cleav and sideboobage action going on in these pics. As much as I would enjoy giving her chi chis a good motorboating, that isn’t the best part of these pictures. Her booty. Sweet mother of crap, her booty. She’s got a nice shapely pair of hips with a thin waist giving her a nice hourglass shape. But those cheeks are the Platonic ideal of a woman’s butt. Cassie’s booty should be the gold standard upon which all other booties should be judged.
Where would we be without 138 Waters incessant campaign of having sexy women dawn bikinis and drink their water? I don’t want to live in a world where that is the case.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
There’s perhaps no model as triple to quadruple booked these days than Gigi Hadid. The now twenty year old has a body in very high demand. I believe you know the answer to the question as to why. She was once more shooting bikini looks for somebody or other, flying the red white and blue and other bikini colors on her tops and bottoms and flashing one simply faptastic model form. She’s a natural.
I’m pretty sure she shot three major campaigns just this week. With zero campaigns of any kind to my name, she’s already bested my fledgling yet super long and unpaid modeling career. I have to give her the advantage in looks, body, smile, and passion inducement. She probably has better spelling skills too. I’m such a low bar as it turns out. But boy, would I make Gigi Hadid happy in ways that her tall hunky rich boyfriends of past, present, and future never will. I know secrets that drive women wild. Well, more angry than wild, but aroused just the same. Gigi, look me up, I’m on Tinder. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet/PacificCoastNews
Rosie Huntington-Whitely was looking like a model in an LL Bean catalog that I’d like to F. She appears to be yachting in these bikini top pics for Self Magazine. It makes sense. You expect someone with a posh sounding named like Rosie Huntington-Whitely to do a lot of sailing. What I do know is that her luscious boobage looks amazing in these pics. She’s got a nice pair of perkies that is certainly getting my buoy up. I don’t know if that’s an appropriate nautical term for the innuendo I’m trying to make but I think you get the general idea. What I am sure of is that I wouldn’t mind being stuck on a boat with a bikini clad Rosie. Wouldn’t mind at all.
There is something about a woman doing manual labor that does it for me. Maybe it’s that they get all sweaty and flushed. Don’t mind if I do.
Photo Credit: Self Magazine
Oh, you wicked hot Monika Jagaciak, now you’re modeling bikinis and bras for Victoria’s Secret. You already have invaded my mind with your young Polski passion inducing goodness. Now, you’re going to be in my catalogs and brochures and posters I see when I break in to the local V.S. store late night to do my own inventory checks. This girl is so damn hot she makes me want to learn enough Polish to learn how to beg properly.
Victoria’s Secret does kind of have a leg up and a hot body over the entire sextastic world. They’re just spanning the globe signing up super good looking young models like they’re going out of style. They’re not, but I appreciate the attitude. I wish I had a helicopter and some money for signing bonuses. I’d airdrop into Poland and find Monika’s hot cousins. It’s all about planning. Also, that signing bonus money. Working on it. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret
Okay, so maybe these photos of happy go hottie Hilary Duff are a bit touched up by the hands of software. The freshly single former TV starlet has most definitely been putting time and energy into hitting the gym and ship shaping her fine female form for the dating game once more. She really is looking better than almost ever. Oh, Lizzie.
Hilary was the choice of the month for Shape Magazine which inspires women to be their better selves. With similar fervor to how I inspire women to instinctively remember their judo training and reach or their pepper spray. We all motivate in different manners. Hilary Duff has a large scale fan base of the males of the species dating back to her teen TV days. She won’t have trouble finding eligible bachelors lining up to take her out and try to examine her shape just a little bit closer. Good on you, Hilary. Stay away from pro athletes and you just might make this work out fine. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Shape Magazine
Veteran B-movie actress Alicia Arden has made a recent habit out of washing her Honda at a self-car wash in West Hollywood whilst donning only a revealing bikini. It’s a habit everyone of the gentleman ogler persuasion in the area has been plenty pleased to experience. It’s not that every woman should done a bright showy tiny bikini to spray down her car, just the ones who can carry it off, like Alicia, who has been working steadily under the radar in this town for some time.
Everybody talks about beautification of their neighborhood and urban landscape, but how many actually take the time each weekend to go out and do something about it. Alicia’s arse in that red bikini and her burgeoning boobtastic are akin to any city garden or civic mural. In fact, I bet they’re far superior in the tactile department. I applaud Alicia’s benevolence as I do her booty. Quite impressive for one veteran giver of asstastic proportions. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Splash
The only thing better than seeing luscious built TV actress Katie Cassidy bouncing around the beach in Miami in a bikini is seeing her frolicking with her Arrow co-starlet Emily Bett Rickards, the two ladies forming a super-sextastic bootastic exhibiting duo. You know how I feel when the ladies get together for bikini beach vacations. Well, yes, jealous, but also like somebody lit a firecracker in my privates, but in a good way. As if there’s a bad way.
Katie is on day something many of her multiple bikini wearing show off time in South Florida. She’s been dazzling our prurient peepers for days now with her various two piece bits of perfection. Emily brings to bear her own tiny swimsuit assets, the two of them together forming a passion inducing sandwich of extraordinary goodness. I wish more female co-stars would bikini together. If this is a trend, consider me beyond happy. Bless you, ladies. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews