Bikinis Posts:

Demi Moore Bikini Pictures Continue to Shine at 49, Err, 50

Hard to imagine the sweet barely legal teen girl with big bush we knew so well from late 70's Euro mags is now all of 50. A few times divorced and addicted to Whip-Its is no match for the blessed genetics Demi Moore inherited which allows her to still look rather amazing at the mid-century mark on a balcony in her bikini in Malibu.

Of course, Demi also puts in some serious workout time to aid her God-given gifts. She's even making up with her semi-estranged daughter through daily joint yoga workouts. I'm angry at Demi but I doubt she'll let me get sweaty with her in stretch pants. Still, you know I love the veteran hotties, and ogling Demi in her bikini comes at the right price of free, and without having to workout at all. Enjoy.

Fernanda Marin Loses Her Bikini Top for Almost Peek-a-Boo Greatness

Fernanda Marin is a super faptastic looking Brazilian model and TV show hostess trying to cut it up north here in Yankee town, and by the looks of her photoshoot in Malibu and somewhat staged, but still quite awesome bikini top loss, I'd say she's making great headway, err, bodyway.

As a general ambassador of hotness to the world, I would like to extend an invitation to all sextastic women from 200 or however many nations we have now in the world to come to America in bikinis and lose your tops in our waters. I'll bring the wine and crudite platter. Enjoy.

Check Out Fernanda Marin In Her English Language Demo Reel »

Maryna Linchuk Bikini Pictures Like Sextastic Supermodel Droplets of Fun

Wow. Maryna Linchuk has pretty much everything I want in a woman. That is, she has a ridiculously hot body and English is not her first language. All the rest is sort of fine print.

Showing off her epically hot female form in Miami, the regular Victoria's Secret Fashion show walker demonstrated the three major bikini competition poses: sashaying, laying, and up on all fours. I won't tell you which of those three is my favorite post, but it rhymes with yup ton ball doors. Oh, Maryna, you are such a tease, in my mind, right this very minute. Enjoy.

Carmen Ortega Bikini Body Photoshoot Brings Miami Heat to Beverly Hills

The last time model Carmen Ortega was in L.A., she was having a fling with Reggie Bush, maybe or maybe not behind Kim Kardashian's back, depending upon which tabloids you read in the bathroom. This time, she's gone even bigger, or more bodacious, in an undersized bikini for her oversized body for a Beverly Hills photoshoot.

You might say that Carmen is the Latina Kim Kardashian. But those types of comparisons seem silly for anybody with some measure of character or an IQ in the triple digits. Still, there's no denying some bodily similarities, though Carmen seems to take it up to volume eleven in her boobtastic/asstastic double whammy visual wonderment offering. Always have to be one step or cup size ahead of the competition. Enjoy.

Claudia Romani Bikini Pictures Bright Enough to Light My Darkest Desires

As you know, I've already asked the perfect killer tush of Claudia Romani to be my bride and after seeing this latest set of bikini candids from the Italian model, I'm considering a little polygamy with her other fine parts.

Truly a talented sashayer, stroller, and all-around bikini beach preener, I do believe Claudia Romani has a different, perfectly fitting bikini for every single day of the year. And bright too. Lest we somehow neglect our Prime Directive to worship her body as the Romans did their pagan deities. That's right, it's time for animal sacrifice. Whatever it takes to make Claudia and her sextastic bikini body pleased, and, possibly, showing a little bit more? Dare to dream. Enjoy.

Olivia Munn Bikini Pictures Are Sextastically Nippled in Esquire

Welcome back, Olivia Munn. The actress and former fanboy faptastic fiend has been looking a bit overworked of late. Long hours, the stress of big time television, and perhaps some really crappy movies have led Olivia to be looking a little out of sorts. But consider this a mini-comeback in a big way for the girl who even now has 1,000,000 nerds on their Huffy bikes off to grab a Costco sized hand lotion dispenser. Hey, Olivia Munn bikini and poolside pictures from Esquire could drive even a fat kid to hit the old three speed.

The thing about the sextastic is that it never truly goes away. It hibernates perhaps at times, it can even be slightly disguised. But it's like an X-Men superpower. It will eventually surface. It can not be denied. Olivia Munn has got it. And now she's sharing once again. Enjoy.

(Be sure to check out the outtakes of Olivia Munn in Esquire. Super duper hotness.)

Joanna Krupa Bikini Pictures for the Hottest Housewife Exhibition

I still don't think Joanna Krupa is married, but she is the true star and really only tier-one hottie in all of Real Housewives land, so who's going to quibble with a legal relationship status over her?

We've been lusting Joanna Krupa and her Polish-American sister for several years now, through a rapid rise in the modeling ranks and while I never thought it would wind up with a craptastic Bravo! TV casting, hey, whatever brings out Joanna in her little bikinis work for me. And I'm assuming for you. Enjoy.

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