Gaming

Grisly, Blood-Leaky Deaths Await in ‘Alien Isolation’ (VIDEO)

News | September 10, 2014, 11:52 am

Grisly, Blood-Leaky Deaths Await in ‘Alien Isolation’ (VIDEO)

Alien, as we know, makes for a great movie franchise but an utterly wanktacular video game. Usually. Remember Aliens: Colonial Marines? The game that pledged to bring us the full badass space marine experience? It was balls. But hey, let’s not bitch about Alien: Isolation just yet. It has a chance.... Read More

The New Godzilla Movie, Retold as a Craptacular Retro Video Game (VIDEO)

News | September 10, 2014, 9:30 am

The New Godzilla Movie, Retold as a Craptacular Retro Video Game (VIDEO)

You know how it can be with Godzilla movies. There isn’t enough mothereffin’ Godzilla in them, and you wind up with an hour or so of padding and prattle. You just want somebody to wake you when he starts using the Chrysler Building as a chewtoy, and/or pouring busloads of passengers into his gaping... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Hogs of War

News | September 9, 2014, 9:49 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Hogs of War

Hogs of War is a brilliant amalgamation of three of our favorite things: crazy-ass Worms-esque cartoon violence, bacon, and shitty puns. You’re going to want to put your pants back on and pay attention for this one. This is great stuff, right here. Have you ever wanted to play an odd kind of spin-off... Read More

IGN’s ‘Best of GTA V’ Bonanza Has All the Talking Dogs, Bond Cars and Jeeps Driving Out of Planes’ Cargo Holds You Could Ever Want (VIDEO)

News | September 8, 2014, 9:45 am

IGN’s ‘Best of GTA V’ Bonanza Has All the Talking Dogs, Bond Cars and Jeeps Driving Out of Planes’ Cargo Holds You Could Ever Want (VIDEO)

Grand Theft Auto V. Is it the ball-busting best game of (last) year? Of several years, in fact? Is it just a craptacular heap of overhyped hokum? That’s in the eye of the beholder, Ego-friends, it’s not for us to decide for you. Don’t look at us, we don’t even know what the hell 'hokum' is. Whatever... Read More

'Brutal Doom' Brings the Most Man-tastic Violence You'll See Today (VIDEO)

News | September 3, 2014, 11:26 am

'Brutal Doom' Brings the Most Man-tastic Violence You'll See Today (VIDEO)

Doom aficionados will be familiar with the mod Brutal Doom. For those of us who thought there wasn’t quite enough effing violence in the game already, this was the answer. Do we want flowery, girly, as-seen-on-Lifetime TV-commercials games? No, no we don’t. Nuts to that. With Brutal Doom, it’s... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Theme Hospital

News | September 2, 2014, 11:46 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Theme Hospital

It’s a bitch, being a big-shot hospital dude. You get sued when your drunk plastic surgeon gives the guy with piles a boob job, you have to play golf all damn day with other fancy rich bastards, and you can’t even steal yourself some drugs for your dodgy cousin Merv. Let’s not, for balls’... Read More

Modtastic: When ‘GTA IV’ and ‘Watch Dogs’ Collide (VIDEO)

News | September 1, 2014, 9:17 am

Modtastic: When ‘GTA IV’ and ‘Watch Dogs’ Collide (VIDEO)

They’re two peas in a pod, come to think of it. Gun-shooty, reckless-drivey, freeroamy romps through big ol’ cities both. Sidequests-amundo, surly protagonists... it’s like Grand Theft Auto IV and Watch Dogs were separated at birth. PC mods are often just slices of pure crazy-ass. In the past,... Read More

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: The PS3 is Officially the Home of Porn

News | August 29, 2014, 9:30 am

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: The PS3 is Officially the Home of Porn

The mad bastards at PornHub know what they like. And what they like most of all is, y’know, sweaty, legs akimbo, no-pants action. That’s kinda their thing. But you know this. The clue’s in the name, you may have spotted it. A little more surprising is their enthusiasm for nerdly pie charts.... Read More

The Weekly WTF: 'Mario Teaches Typing'

News | August 28, 2014, 9:15 am

The Weekly WTF: 'Mario Teaches Typing'

Mario, you poor bastard. As the poster boy of Nintendo's cutesy, rainbows-shining-out-of-everyone's-assholes gaming world, you've been subjected to all manner of horrors. Appearing in over 200 games, not to mention lunchboxes and tampons and McDonald's patties of death... it's a hard life. There... Read More