Gaming

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: When OAPs Play ‘Mortal Kombat’

News | May 8, 2015, 11:58 am

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: When OAPs Play ‘Mortal Kombat’

I don’t know how to break this to you, but... Mortal Kombat X is pretty effing violent. What with Fatalities, Brutalities and the general acid-melting-faces-Indiana Jones-style, this is some serious business right here. You’re not playing Barney the Dinosaur Dances About Adorably now, buddy boy.... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Perfect Dark

News | May 5, 2015, 9:39 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Perfect Dark

Remember all the ballbusting hypetastic that Destiny received pre-release? Of course you do. It was Bungie’s spiritual successor to the mighty Halo, and that was a big freaking deal right there. Perfect Dark was a similar affair. As N64 FPSs go, natch, GoldenEye is where it’s at. It’s still... Read More

‘Killing Floor 2’ and the Missing Nipple Rings

News | May 4, 2015, 11:49 am

‘Killing Floor 2’ and the Missing Nipple Rings

Now, there are a lot of freaking useless, dumbass ways to spend a year. You could try to develop a flesh-eating loaf of bread to defend your lawn from wayward postmen. You could campaign to get Congress to pass a law forbidding the words 'Justin Bieber’ being used on the Internet. But this? This... Read More

When Video Games Screw Up: Pregnant Man-Sims

News | May 4, 2015, 9:10 am

When Video Games Screw Up: Pregnant Man-Sims

Now, I don’t know if you were paying attention in first grade biology class, but how’s this for a big ol’ mothereffin’ factoid: dudes can’t get pregnant. Trust me on this. Male penguins and seahorses may carry the babies about like the poor whipped buggers of the animal kingdom they are,... Read More

MS-DOS Gaming Gives Twitter a Reason to Exist at Last

News | May 1, 2015, 11:48 am

MS-DOS Gaming Gives Twitter a Reason to Exist at Last

‘Twitter is simultaneously the best and worst thing ever,’ quoth Destructoid, bringing us this story. How do you argue with that? You don’t, that’s how. That lil’ blue bird, after all, is responsible for bringing hashtags into the world. It also provided a platform for Justin Bieber... Read More

The Weekly WTF: The Madness of ‘Killer 7’

News | April 30, 2015, 10:07 am

The Weekly WTF: The Madness of ‘Killer 7’

Everyone’s had a particularly unhinged dream and thought, where in the name of holy hell did that come from? Even if you haven’t, you have now, because I’m typing these words at your face and I make the rules here. You don’t want to eff with me, buddy boy. I do pilates on Tuesday evenings.... Read More

'Call of Duty: Black Ops III' Brings the SkyNet in a Big Way

News | April 29, 2015, 11:45 am

'Call of Duty: Black Ops III' Brings the SkyNet in a Big Way

You don’t eff with Call of Duty. You just duck and cover, brace yourself and let it wash over you like the indomitable force of nature that it is. It’s trailer time, gentlemen, and Treyarch demand your attention. The freshly-announced Black Ops III is doing things a little differently. The... Read More

‘Batman: Arkham Knight’ is Firing Both Barrels of Hypetastic Again

News | April 29, 2015, 9:18 am

‘Batman: Arkham Knight’ is Firing Both Barrels of Hypetastic Again

What with all the Grand Theft Auto V PC edition, heists and Bloodborne and all of that fancy stuff, our ol’ buddy Bruce hasn’t been getting much hype of late. It’s not fair on the poor guy, really. He lives for that shit. Why else would he go out in public dressed like that? Yep, it’s... Read More