Gaming

Is ‘Final Fantasy VII’ Being Remade at Last? Nope, Nuts to That

News | December 8, 2014, 10:46 am

Is ‘Final Fantasy VII’ Being Remade at Last? Nope, Nuts to That

Damn it, Square Enix. A large portion of the world’s gamertastic almost shat themselves there. So close, yet so far. Ah, Final Fantasy VII. You’re right up there in the Hall of Nerdly Fame, having your fancy-ass car valet-parked and trashing hotel rooms with the likes of Ocarina of Time and... Read More

‘Resident Evil HD Remake’ Dated, Priced and Trailer-ed... Again

News | December 5, 2014, 11:56 am

‘Resident Evil HD Remake’ Dated, Priced and Trailer-ed... Again

Capcom know when they’ve got something freaking awesome on their hands. And they know what to do with it too: pimp it out for our cashtacular, ‘til our cashtacular can be pimped no more. If you piled up every Super, Ultra and Ultimate edition of the Street Fighter series, they’d certainly...... Read More

The Weekly WTF: The Horror of  ‘Hey You, Pikachu!’

News | December 4, 2014, 9:57 am

The Weekly WTF: The Horror of ‘Hey You, Pikachu!’

As we know, nobody pimps out their flagship franchises like Nintendo. Eventually, the world will notice that every Super Mario and Pokémon is the effing same, but until then these wily bastards will keep on raking in the cashtacular. To that end, the stars of the show have been given cameo appearances... Read More

More Barry-Based Badassery Hitting ‘Resident Evil Revelations 2’ Soon

News | December 3, 2014, 11:54 am

More Barry-Based Badassery Hitting ‘Resident Evil Revelations 2’ Soon

As we’ve seen, the Evil is doing things a little differently with this outing. Resident Evil Revelations 2 is going to be available in downloadable ‘episodes,’ the first of which is dropping February 17 2015. We’ve seen Claire Redfield’s return, Moira Burton’s debut and more dingy... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Dr. Mario

News | December 2, 2014, 9:14 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Dr. Mario

There is nothing --effing nothing-- that Nintendo’s mustachioed maestro can’t do. Over his three decade career, he has taught us typing skills, competed in the olympics (both winter and regular-flavored), piloted spacecraft and submarines, done the whole ‘princess rescue’ thing on umpteen... Read More

'The Evil Within' The Movie: This Actually Works!

News | December 1, 2014, 9:46 am

'The Evil Within' The Movie: This Actually Works!

Ah, The Evil Within. If you believed the PR bullcrappery that was flying around prior to release, this was a glorious resurgence for survival horror. It was the latest ball-busting scareathon from Shinji Mikami, creator of Resident Evil. It was a big mothereffing deal all around. But here’s... Read More

‘Batman: Arkham Knight’ Gameplay- An Explosion or Ten at Ace Chemicals

News | November 28, 2014, 11:50 am

‘Batman: Arkham Knight’ Gameplay- An Explosion or Ten at Ace Chemicals

Megalomaniacal crazy bastards just can’t get the staff these days. Scarecrow gave these dudes one job: keep him away from Ace Chemicals. Those orders sound simple enough to me; it’s not like trying to construct an IKEA cabinet, drunk, while squinting at the Swahili side of the instructions. But... Read More

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: Having a Chainsawin' Good Time with PS4

News | November 28, 2014, 9:16 am

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: Having a Chainsawin' Good Time with PS4

Remember dOvetastic, Youtube ballache and ‘professional microwave operator?’ His whole thing is wanging brand new expensive electronics into a microwave, then broadcasting their fiery deaths to the world. Like this hapless 3DS, for instance. These sorts of shenanigans raise all kinds of questions.... Read More

The Weekly WTF: 'Stalin vs Martians’  Does Exactly What it Says on the Tin

News | November 27, 2014, 11:31 am

The Weekly WTF: 'Stalin vs Martians’ Does Exactly What it Says on the Tin

Yup. Stalin. Versus Martians. What the hell could go wrong with an awesome idea like that? Absolutely freaking everything, that’s what. Buckle up, gentlemen. This is a real slice of shite right here. You know how it can be with celebrities. After their star has waned and their fifteen minutes of... Read More

‘All You Can Arcade’ Brings Us Arcade Cabinets to Rent

News | November 27, 2014, 8:30 am

‘All You Can Arcade’ Brings Us Arcade Cabinets to Rent

Ah, San Francisco. The City by the Bay has brought the world so much awesome. The late great Robin Williams rose to fame there, as did musical badassery such as Led Zeppelin and the Grateful Dead. Come on, Mrs-effing-Doubtfire was filmed there. What more could you ask for? You could ask for a San... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Bloody Roar

News | November 25, 2014, 10:48 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Bloody Roar

Yup. Bloody-mothereffing-Roar. This one originally went by the name Beastorizer, which probably tells you all you need to know about the kind of badassery that’s coming at your faces right now. Buckle up, gentlemen. 1997 was a good year for fighters. Tekken 3 arrived, and is still regarded by... Read More