Gaming

Yep, Eight Player ‘Smash Bros.’ Really is Effing Crazy

News | November 10, 2014, 10:14 am

Yep, Eight Player ‘Smash Bros.’ Really is Effing Crazy

Super Smash Bros. isn’t for the faint-hearted. Or those with motion sickness, or an aversion to freaking balls-out crazy. It’s not technically a fighting game, more of a party game with Mario punching Bowser in his big green gonads and suchlike. A four-player match is pretty freaking ridiculous... Read More

Yep, 'Mortal Kombat X' is Pretty Damn Nasty; Just the Way we Like it (VIDEO)

News | November 7, 2014, 11:55 am

Yep, 'Mortal Kombat X' is Pretty Damn Nasty; Just the Way we Like it (VIDEO)

What happened to the days when studly dudes would settle their disputes honorably? Over Europe way in the Middle Ages, nerdly knights had a thing called chivalry. This meant, sure, wreck each others’ shit if you must, but do it respectfully. Have a gentlemanly joust, and invite the loser over to your... Read More

The Weekly WTF: ‘Deathsmiles’ and its Crazy-Ass Halloweentastic

News | November 6, 2014, 10:00 am

The Weekly WTF: ‘Deathsmiles’ and its Crazy-Ass Halloweentastic

If you’ve managed to briefly sober up in the last week or so, you’ll have noticed such trifles as the ‘days of the week’ and the ‘date.’ None of this BS matters much, but it does bear mentioning that Halloween has just passed. And you know what Halloween means. Halloween specials, that’s... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Turok- Dinosaur Hunter

News | November 4, 2014, 9:59 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Turok- Dinosaur Hunter

Maybe you thought the Doom Marine was the pinnacle of mantastic in gaming. Cruising straight into the mouth of hell armed only with a pistol and a furious scowl? That takes some mothereffin’ chutzpah, right there. Well, angry-ass gonad biting eyeball demons are one thing, but dinosaurs? Those bastards,... Read More

Behold, a Slice of ‘Resident Evil Revelations 2’ Chapter One (VIDEO)

News | November 3, 2014, 11:37 am

Behold, a Slice of ‘Resident Evil Revelations 2’ Chapter One (VIDEO)

Hey, Resident Evil. What happened, dude? You used to be cool. I still remember the good old days of DON’T open THAT DOOR, Jill sandwiches and masters of unlocking. Of piss-poor voice acting, Wesker being an asshole and snakes that are huge and ALSO POISONOUS. These were the days before survival... Read More

‘Grand Theft Auto V’ REALLY Wants us to Buy the Next-Gen Version Too

News | October 31, 2014, 11:42 am

‘Grand Theft Auto V’ REALLY Wants us to Buy the Next-Gen Version Too

That’s next-gen in the 'current-gen' sense, naturally. Because current-gen (that being the Xbox 360 and PS3) is now last-gen, making next-gen (PS4 and Xbox One) now merely current-gen. The gaming world speeds onwards, unrelenting; a badass renegade heading straight into the mouth of hell on grandma’s... Read More

The Weekly WTF: The Horrors of Mr. Resetti

News | October 30, 2014, 10:10 am

The Weekly WTF: The Horrors of Mr. Resetti

Nintendo, as we know, is the home of family friendly funtimes. It’s all toontastic bright colors and rainbows shining from everyone’s assholes and all of that good stuff. Or so we’ve been led to believe. Somewhere behind the scenes, there’s a mad, mad bastard insidiously adding the creeptastic... Read More

Ebola is Boosting the Popularity of the Doomtacular ‘Plague Inc’

News | October 29, 2014, 11:32 am

Ebola is Boosting the Popularity of the Doomtacular ‘Plague Inc’

Now, this whole ebola deal is the kind of thing that even the most callous of assholes shouldn’t be joking about. But needless to say, the internet is pretty damn good at callous assholes. Have you seen Twitter recently? It’s like open mic night at the Not-Effing-Funny Ebola Jokeatorium. I’m... Read More

A Great Use for Xbox One's Kinect at Last: Pizza!

News | October 29, 2014, 9:06 am

A Great Use for Xbox One's Kinect at Last: Pizza!

Xbox One’s Kinect was looking a little superficial. The sort of contraption that can elicit an ‘ooh, that’s kinda cool’ or two, but is really completely effing unnecessary. Like those robot toys you demanded from grandma for Christmas. Sure, it was fun to fire its lil’ foam darts at the dog’s... Read More

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Duke Nukem 3D

News | October 28, 2014, 9:31 am

Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: Duke Nukem 3D

Yes indeed, it’s Duke mothereffin’ Nukem. Grease your pectorals, dick about with your hair until it reaches Guile levels of dumbassiness, take your pants off, and pay attention. As we all know damn well, the Duke is the pinnacle of man-tastic gaming heroes. He strides about with his cannonball-like... Read More