If you’re like me, at some point I’m making the long trek this weekend to my couch. It’s a decent number of feet and even when stepping entirely on the backs of my intern army, it’s still a chore. I need a little something something to inspire my gait. Something like a dozen or so peeks up the skirts of some of Hollywood’s hottest ladies in short skirts, dresses, and otherwise just flashing their undercrackers inadvertently for our ogling eyes.
Take a gander at these sweet blessed upskirt peeks of some extremely alluring leading ladies. You might just find yourself inspired enough to hit the couch as well. Or loo if you require a little extra privacy. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Egotastic! Archives
Say what you will about Victoria Silvstedt the professional, she still maintains the powers afforded the statuesque bosomy blondes in our society, and rightfully so. Even now into the Forties and Faptastic club, Victoria is falling out of the skimpy undersized bikinis on the beach, showing what a combo of some science and a whole lot of working out and eating salads can do for a Swedish blessed genetic wonder into her veteran years. I suspect she will not have a hard time finding her next romance slash sponsor.
I once met Victoria Silvstedt and I literally lost my breath. I felt like a 12-year old boy again staring at a Playboy centerfold for the first time. I almost really was. It was just phenomenally empowering in a weak-knees and jelly-spined kind of way. Perhaps one of those defining moments that reminds men that we are but supplicants to the fairer sex. Perhaps especially so when they resemble Victoria in a bikini. But it’s a good helpless. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: INF
I do so love a good Swedish Playmate of the Year veteran bikini booty in the morning.
So maybe your winter vacation doesn’t last all year long as it does for Victoria Silvstedt. If you were her mature age and looking like she does on all fours on a paddle board, you too would probably be delighting in an super extended blonde tropical getaway to St. Barth’s. But, for most of us, it is but to ponder and ogle and wonder how such an extraordinarily alluring bikini body lingers on this Nordic statuesque delight. The paddle board really did add some level of tingle.
Victoria Silvstedt is many things. But one thing she is not is easy to avoid jerking your neck to leer at in a bikini. That’s a skill set she’s refined now over almost twenty years of only slightly trying. I’d let her borrow my board any day. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Splash
Scandinavian hottie Victoria Silvstedt was showing off her Swedish meatballs in a yellow bikini in Miami. The frilly yellow fabric of the bikini top could barely contain her massive jugs. Mere Lycra cannot contain boobage of this magnitude, my friends. They are perfectly round and massive. Her ta-tas provide their own gravity and smaller boobs orbit around them. She was also wearing a pair of jean short shorts which only ups the boner factor for me. I don’t know what it is but a tiny pair of jean shorts just does it for me. I associate them with inherent naughty goings on.
Damn, Swedish women are hot. I don’t know what’s in the water in those fjords or whatever but it creates some of the hottest women on the planet. It must be all that Viking genetic material. Their ancestors looked super sexy when they pillaged your village.
Photo Credit: INF
Whoever Victoria Silvstedt is always talking to on the cell phone, it’s apparently related to her leading the life of Reilly on the beaches of the world showing off in her various colored bikinis. I’ve never seen her in the same bikini twice, so I’m going to assume she tosses them after wearing and grabs a new one. I have no comment on that particular wardrobe practice save for I’d surely like to know where she tosses her worn bikinis. I’m asking for a friend, who looks a lot like me.
Victoria Silvstedt has recently officially entered the Forty and Faptastic club at Egotastic! It’s like the UAL red carpet club except only the ladies get free drinks. And not those Cosby cocktails, just proper beverages to wet their whistle while I provide foot massages so sensual they are technically illegal in thirty-seven countries. Oh, what I can do to insoles with my ambitious fingers. Victoria, welcome to the club. Your membership card should be in the mail. Wait, what’s your address again? Enjoy.
Victoria Silvstedt truly is one of those miracles of superior genes and a touch or three of modern science. This statuesque former Playmate of the Year just keeps on keeping on in the hot bodied bikini category, lending her female form talents to the very lucky gentleman oglers of Miami Beach. Now, you may have to censor your own dreams to the fact that Victoria isn’t perhaps general available for chatting up, unless you own say a steel company or at least a Ferrari made from it, however, leering at her impressive blonde and tan all over curves remains completely gratis.
The competition along the strip of sand on the shores of Miami for two-piece swimsuit dominance remains as fierce as ever. We’re only now really getting into the high season that is winter in the Northern Hemisphere, drawing ridiculously fine bodies from all four corners of the globe. Rest assured that Victoria Silvstedt knows they’re coming. Rest assured she’s ready. Okay, now stop resting. Enjoy.
If you’ve got it, why not flaunt it. Oh, sure, I know as well as you that girls like Victoria Silvstedt don’t hit the middle of central park on a sunny weekend day in booty shorts and start stretching in long alluring positions on the ground unless they want an audience. And, so what. I’m the audience and I am quite delighting in the free entertainment. I mean, stretching is a serious business for the stretcher, but for the ogler, it’s just a wonderful opportunity to see limbs and body parts floundering askew and revealing.
Victoria Silvstedt is more often seen in various foreign ports of call. It’s nice to see her in Manhattan making the most of a Sunday and the ability of men in the park to pretend not to be staring right at her and hoping they don’t get any wood in front of a crowd. It’s called drama. New York is full of it. Enjoy.