Whoever Victoria Silvstedt is always talking to on the cell phone, it’s apparently related to her leading the life of Reilly on the beaches of the world showing off in her various colored bikinis. I’ve never seen her in the same bikini twice, so I’m going to assume she tosses them after wearing and grabs a new one. I have no comment on that particular wardrobe practice save for I’d surely like to know where she tosses her worn bikinis. I’m asking for a friend, who looks a lot like me.
Victoria Silvstedt has recently officially entered the Forty and Faptastic club at Egotastic! It’s like the UAL red carpet club except only the ladies get free drinks. And not those Cosby cocktails, just proper beverages to wet their whistle while I provide foot massages so sensual they are technically illegal in thirty-seven countries. Oh, what I can do to insoles with my ambitious fingers. Victoria, welcome to the club. Your membership card should be in the mail. Wait, what’s your address again? Enjoy.
Victoria Silvstedt truly is one of those miracles of superior genes and a touch or three of modern science. This statuesque former Playmate of the Year just keeps on keeping on in the hot bodied bikini category, lending her female form talents to the very lucky gentleman oglers of Miami Beach. Now, you may have to censor your own dreams to the fact that Victoria isn’t perhaps general available for chatting up, unless you own say a steel company or at least a Ferrari made from it, however, leering at her impressive blonde and tan all over curves remains completely gratis.
The competition along the strip of sand on the shores of Miami for two-piece swimsuit dominance remains as fierce as ever. We’re only now really getting into the high season that is winter in the Northern Hemisphere, drawing ridiculously fine bodies from all four corners of the globe. Rest assured that Victoria Silvstedt knows they’re coming. Rest assured she’s ready. Okay, now stop resting. Enjoy.
If you’ve got it, why not flaunt it. Oh, sure, I know as well as you that girls like Victoria Silvstedt don’t hit the middle of central park on a sunny weekend day in booty shorts and start stretching in long alluring positions on the ground unless they want an audience. And, so what. I’m the audience and I am quite delighting in the free entertainment. I mean, stretching is a serious business for the stretcher, but for the ogler, it’s just a wonderful opportunity to see limbs and body parts floundering askew and revealing.
Victoria Silvstedt is more often seen in various foreign ports of call. It’s nice to see her in Manhattan making the most of a Sunday and the ability of men in the park to pretend not to be staring right at her and hoping they don’t get any wood in front of a crowd. It’s called drama. New York is full of it. Enjoy.
Our first official Reader Finds of summer. This has sort of become an annual tradition wherein while reading through your mail, I grill some hot dogs and drink one too many beers and get in a fight with my Uncle over some kind of foreign policy matter neither of us really no anything about. Beer definitely makes you smarter and more engaged. As the weather heats up, so does the temperatures rise in the celebrity skin all of you send to me to return to all of you. I’m like the government, but even lazier.
This week’s Reader Finds includes Victoria Silvstedt flashing nipples on European TV and Paulina Rubio see-through funbags in a sheer top (a double dose of thank you to EgoReader ‘Benioff’), Kim Cattrall topless on the silver screen (loves me some Kim C. courtesy of ‘Wes’), Emma Thompson going topless British style (thank you, governor goes out to ‘Steve P.’), Swedish hottie Elsa Hosk topless for a jewelry campaign (love those Euro pimping shots via ‘Toscano’), Eva Green topless in her epic Dreamers role (classically submitted by ‘Jennifer’), Keeley Hazell topless in one of her rare film roles (oh, blessed Keeley by way of ‘John’), Stacey Dash topless from her Clueless days (oh, my my my’s handed over by ‘Oliver’), Emily Blunt topless and driving me crazy (Emily’s ta’s contributed by ‘Angel T.’), Greek hottie Maria Alexandrou topless in the sea (ode to a Grecian funbag via ‘Panos’ from kanonitv.net), Luci Ford nip slip ala Bo Derek (eagle eyed by ‘Travis’), wicked nekkid Jessie Andrews goodness (sampled wonderfully by ‘Don Juan’), Hayley Williams apparent nip slip in concert (scouted faithfully by ‘Mario G.’), Elisabeta Canalis topless modeling pictures (so very Italiana hot via ‘Anzio’), Ariana Grande flashing upskirt in concert (sweet peek up the cheeks from ‘Michael G.’), model Alex Hanson covered topless hot (kudos to ‘Ben’ for this Miami vice), Laura Giraudi crazy hot and barely covered body cray (pimped strong and hard by ‘Allan’), Kaley Cuoco bra and busty TV caps (Kaley is always visual sunshine thanks to ‘Ramsey’), Julianne Moore forever topless, forever hotness (veteran ginger boobies from the mind of ‘Nick T.’), Thandie Newton topless and ever so dramatic (Thandie’s candies provided by ‘Eve’), and, last, but never least, underrated hottie Jennifer Akerman modeling pictures (I’m in lust thanks to ‘Dennis’).
Check Out All The Uncensored Reader Finds »
I can’t help but feel like we’ve seen former Playmate of the Year Victoria Silvstedt flashing her panties in and around the Riviera before. She sure does like to wear short skirts in windy areas where she climbs in and out of boats. Not that I’m going to suggest a wardrobe change. Just wearing panties might be a big step for her in terms of new experiences.
Word is that Victoria is single once more and hitting the singles scene. This likely means more T, definitely more A, and probably a whole lot more panties shots. I think I’m ready. The girl has still got something something most definitely going on. Enjoy.
Victoria Silvstedt is soon to be the senior circuit of the worldwide models showing off their incredibly bodacious bodies in Miami, especially over the Easter weekend when the place was packed with so much female form talent from around the world. But just like those Senior PGA guys show up to the majors and often startle the young’ins with their still rather noteworthy gifts, so too is Victoria still winning the ogles of many gentleman even as she approaches the big 4-0 this year.
Sure, you are born, and or helped along the way, with an amazing bikini body and good looks. But there’s something to be said for two decades of professional showing off that can’t easily be matched by the up and comers, for all their ambition and boobtastic talents. Victoria still has quite a bit of juice left in the tank of the sextastic. You don’t just get a billionaire older boyfriend for having the platinum blonde hair. The competition is fierce. Enjoy.
I’m not sure what Victoria Silvstedt is searching for in her bikini bottoms, but maybe it’s the power switch to some kind of promotional signage she has to up her competitive bikini mode even higher along the beach in Miami. Everybody, and I mean, every hot woman, from the young to the mature, are getting into this showoff battle. Victoria has an array of brightly colored bikinis, one curvaceous tanned female form, and apparently a Brazilian wax that says she’s not only in this game, she came to win.
One of these days I need to get myself on an Eastern Air Lines flight down to Miami with nothing but a tube of zinc oxide and my camera and get down to the real work of documenting this natural migration of the hotties along the shores of South Florida. You can have your flamingos and polar bear nature videos, I’m going straight for the bikini sextastic. This is simply the high season. Enjoy.