Sarah Hyland

Paris Hilton And Sarah Hyland Pushed Up Cleavage for Vegas Party Pimping Time

It’s hard to imagine Billionaire Barbie and Sarah Hyland have much in common. But both were working the shizz out of the Sin City club openings this past weekend, flashing cleavage and waving hello to the suckers who came to plunk their money down in the hopes of, well, probably taking home Billionaire Barbie or Sarah Hyland. Not for the cover charge, my misguided friend.

Paris has done a million of these Vegas party hosting gigs, literally probably a million. But this seemed like fresh territory for Sarah Hyland who has never played up a party lifestyle in any manner. Just plain old fashion being hot. She may not have Barbie’s experience or glad handling and pushed up boobtastic skills, but she makes up for it in the petite hottie come to my party I’m shy kind of way. I do so like that. But I’m still not going to your club. I have standards, unless you have good financing options on your cocktails. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Sarah Hyland Cleavetastic Top, Tight Jeans Bottom, A Little Bit of Promenading Perfection

Sarah Hyland, minxy hottie, where have you been all my life, or at least the last few months we’ve not seen much of you. I suppose something silly like working or hanging out with a new boyfriend or such. But, oh, how these eyes have missed your petite cleavetastic goodness.

We caught sight of Sarah strutting down the boulevards of Hollywood in some fine tight jeans and one perfectly bosom cleft baring top. Just as I’d remembered Sarah in my dreams of this past Thursday, Tuesday, also last Wednesday through Sunday. I have a lot of them. Just look at her tight little body and tell me your REM sleep isn’t being visited by such a little lovely vision. Sarah, you’re a sight for these sore eyes and other various sore and chaffed sensory organs. Just such a looker. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Kaley Cuoco, Iggy Azalea And Willow Shields Bare Midriffs At The Kids’ Choice Awards 2015

I’ll be the first to admit I might just be a tad past the demographic for the Kids’ Choice Awards on Nickelodeon. My idea of sliming a beautiful woman is well past the mature audience range for what the kids are expecting when they watch that show. Nevertheless, the annual event does bring out some serious Hollywood hotties even if they are compelled to dress rather G-rated for the event, that doesn’t mean they can’t flash a little bit of heavenly midriff and legs and such (funbags ever on mostly hidden status).

When ladies such as Kaley Cuoco and Iggy Azalea and Willow Shields and other members of young sextastic Celebrityville start showing up on your red carpet, please invite me over as well. It’s good to see the next generation of outstandingly hot women are well on their way to filling our future vaults. Some stupid awards were given out, but the real prize was taken home once again by the gentleman oglers, who got an eyeful, sans slime. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Sarah Hyland Leggy Golden Age of Hollywood Sextastic for Galore

Oh to see my little darling Sarah Hyland in black and white homaging some old school black and white Hollywood glamour. The minxy Modern Family hottie really has gotten all grown up, so truly excited to see her in these Galore Magazine photos featuring the mini-bombshell in a golden age of Hollywood styling allure.

Sarah Hyland is the girl next door you can grab a Chick-Fil-A sandwich with, or watch her stun all decked out on the red carpet. That’s my kind of girl. You throw in the petite passion inducing body and you have the makings of a real lust crush. No worries, Sarah, I’ll provide the splash of color. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Galore Magazine

Nicola Peltz and Gigi Hadid Hold Hands Because That’s Just What Hotties Do at Luncheons

Oh, I do so love when the hotties get together for a summer luncheon. Even in the middle of winter. Lovely petite hottie celebrities in white and summer dresses for the W Magazine something something party in Beverly Hills. Tis the season for magazine sponsored parties and celebrities winning all kinds of awards just like you and I do regularly for our jobs. Hasn’t your boss handed you a shiny gold-plated trophy recently? Okay, my last one was AYSO fifth grade as well. Still, if the accolades bring out the girls like the wildly alluring Nicola Peltz, Gigi Hadid, Jaime King, and Sarah Hyland who didn’t remove her coat due to the weather, but which gave us a chance to really use our imagination noodles as to what lay beneath. Noodle isn’t a euphemism for brain, I actually have a noodle I keep here in my office to foster imagination.

I don’t know exactly how I get these girls to show up to my own luncheons. I keep cutting the crust off the cucumber sandwiches but nobody shows so I end up feeding them to my dog, Mr. Fetishworth, who has a look in his eye as if he’s going to consume me in my sleep. The trick might be owning a magazine, a magazine for women specifically. I wonder if Jugs Women is already trademarked. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Sarah Hyland Now a Blonde Hollywood Minx

After finally removing her weak stalker boyfriend from her life, here’s to hoping Modern Family sextastic minx Sarah Hyland evolves into the grown up sextastic woman that I have envisioned many times in my night sleep. A little blonde experiment for some nightclub hopping in Hollywood couldn’t hurt. No, it couldn’t hurt a bit.

Sarah was fairly easy to spot in her tight jeans and colored locks leaving the Warwick Night Club, trying to avoid the paparazzi without much success. Sarah doesn’t go for much elaborate wardrobe, just some basic things to remind you that you wish she were you girlfriend. I’ve wanted her to hold that title since we saw her munching on Chick-Fil-A. Oh, dream girl. Blonde or brunette, I care not. Let’s eat some grubby chicken sandwiches and make sweet love in the special sauce. I dare to believe. Enjoy.

Sarah Hyland, Bella Thorne, and More at the Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Party in Beverly Hills

The Teen Vogue Hollywood Party was a veritable bevy of hot young Hollywood stars. The always lovely Sarah Hyland was there in a short dress that showed off some of her sexy mid-riff. She, (and Sofia Vergara), are the reason I watch Modern Family every week. That is one sultry show. Jillian Rose Reed was also on hand to show some deep cleavage in a pink dress. This was some grade A excellent cleavage too, none of that mid grade stuff. Maddie Hasson also came wearing a skin tight leather dress. I’m no leather fetish guy but I do enjoy a woman in tight leather clothes. Of course, there was also Bella Thorne who showed off some sexy cleavage and mid-riff in her black sequined ensemble.

I wonder what you have to do to get an invite to an event like this? I can be Anna Wintour’s Devil Wears Prada slave girl if I get to go ogle these sexy young ladies in person.