Kate Middleton

Kate Middleton Simply Red Hot Royalty

I suppose during this season of thanks my mind turns toward the sextastic women I’m most thankful for. Kate Middleton. Not just because she may or may not be my baby mama. Though that plays a part. But for being the best damn looking regal beagle in the past five hundred years in the nation of England. That’s not just a thing, that’s a big thing, for everybody involved.

Though pregnant again with somebody’s child I can’t legally mention, Kate is still slender and getting around the country looking fine and proper and cutting ribbons and patting kids on the head and stuff. She does it like no other. Or, at least, the boys are probably happy to receive her pats versus the stale coffee smelling frightening creatures that used to come before. Kate Middleton has no equals in her circle. She’s a groundbreaker, an actual hottie reproducing in Windsor House midsts. It’s a big deal. I hope our next one is a little daughter. Oops. I’ve said to much. Enjoy.

Kate Middleton vs. Letizia Ortiz, Battle Future Queen Upskirts

Now I’m sure at some point during the long nap I liked to call high school, I learned about some crazy Euro-battle between England and Spain for trade routes or spices or just who had the hotter brunettes. But that’s nothing compared to the new battle brewing between the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, and the Princess of Asturias, about to be Queen of Spain, Letizia Ortiz.

Frontside, backside, these ladies are a new generation of upskirting royals and, in the end, there can be only one. I don’t know, maybe there can be two. I’d like to think the world is big enough to handle two young new queens who likes to wear high hemlines in the blustery winds of their domains. Maybe this is not a Vs. so much as a future sneaky-queen girls happy fun time pillow fight in panties kind of BFF deal. Man, I can’t stop thinking about that now.

Welcome to the new week on Egotastic!. Enjoy.

Kate Middleton Butt-Gate Gets Hot and Heavy in European Circles

Seeing as how I was rumored to be her baby daddy, I often do get asked to comment on stories involving Kate Middleton, especially her bare nekkid fun parts. We all remember the scandal when paparazzi shot photos of Kate topless on vacation and England declared war on the rest of Europe and I think guillotined a few French and Danish publishers. They do take their royals very seriously on the Old Country.

Now, a photo of Kate Middleton’s bare-arse, not her first upskirt wind-aided fly-up, has the British royals up in booty arms again. Apparently, they don’t think the rest of the world needs to see the hot MILFy buns of their future Queen. Even their own newspapers of record won’t show the photos, just talk about how uncouth the rest of the world is for not respecting the monarchs. As for Kate Middleton, she continues to wear summer dresses with high hemlines and thong panties while getting in and out of helicopters. I’ll let you decide how she feels about being butt peeped.

In my opinion, everybody, most definitely including England, needs to be grateful they have one of the world’s best looking royals on their home turf and ought to gladly share pics of her regal beagle if for no other reason than to make the rest of the world jealous. But that’s just me, Little Georgie’s Uncle Bill.

Photo credit: Bild.de

Kate Middleton Almost Upskirts Coming Off the Plane With Her Long Legs in New Zealand

Oh, here I done signed a pledge just last week to show no celebrity kids, not even the future king of England kid, and the delightfully regal hottie Kate Middleton gets her skirt blow up by the breeze whilst holding said child. Hence, pixillation on the blown up images. My word is my bond and all that. As is Kate Middleton’s unspoken promise to be the hottest royal in the past 400 years or so of British rule.

This isn’t the first time Kate’s let her skirts fly up on the tarmac when visiting foreign lands as one of the most desirable diplomats to have land on your shore. She certainly is looking more than splendidly leggy and hot since entering the MILF category. I’d certainly let her be my princess in our roleplaying games we could revel in while her husband is off on his mysterious polo playing overnighters. But, for now, I’d just like to thank the wind which has given us its blessing on numerous occasions this day. Enjoy.

Kate Middleton (and Her Dude) Voted Tops in Sex Tape Wish List for 2014

Yeah, I guess they also clicked off for Prince Bill, the royal couple coming out on top in Vivid’s annual survey of celebrity couple’s people most want to see getting it on in front of the camera. Personally, I’d mix and match any of the girls in the Top 10 (well, top 9) and ogle them going at it with Sapphic flames of desire. Ellen and Portia were the only same  sex couple to make the list and, yeah, the power might suddenly fail in my home theater the date that one plays. No offense to Ellen, naturally, but keep the vests on. All others, skinny dipping in my inflatable pool now please.

According to Vivid and their voters, here’s the Top 10 Hottest Couples Sextape Wishlist for 2014:

1. Prince William/Kate Middleton
2. Katy Perry/John Mayer
3. Beyoncé/Jay-Z
4. Kim Kardashian Kanye West
5. Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt
6. Jennifer Aniston/Justin Theroux
7. Mila Kunis/Ashton Kutcher
8. Jessica Biel/Justin Timberlake
9. Victoria Beckham/David Beckham
10. Ellen Degeneres/Portia deRossi

You can check out all the current celebrity sex tapes in the Vivid stable HERE. They’re up to 18 of them, which seems pretty symbolic.

Kate Middleton Shows Off Her Sexy Mom Legs

If this is a sign of things to come, I might have to make another baby with… never mind. The point is, Kate Middleton, the best looking British Royal in at least four centuries, is back on the scene showing off her gams at least for one of her first flirty appearances since birthing out the royal heir to the throne. She’s having a good year.

Kate was out at some public event that I’m sure is fine and upstanding and charitable and showing off her fine slender legs, even in the chill of the oncoming British winter, thanks to some nylons I could easily see peeling off of her before a Buckingham Palace private chamber fireplace one evening. Not that I’ve ever been there or done that before or lent my help making the royal baby. I will not speak of this any further! Enjoy.

Kate Middleton Flashes Bare Tummy and Tushy Top Playing Volleyball in London

Talk about your MILFtastic recoveries. If I remember correctly, it was just late July when every woman in the world was glued to the TV watching the birth announcement of the baby of Kate Middleton and Prince Bill (as we shall let the story henceforth be attributed to keep the Windsor line seemingly intact).

Now, the lean and sextastic future Queen of England is literally already back in playing shape, bumping the volleyball in some promotional tour in London, flashing her already lean-again body and just a bit of the royal buttocks cheek tops. Not as much as we would like, and not nearly as much as a year ago when there were rumors that I was flown to London on a private jet to conceive a royal heir, but, still, quite the regal leering view. Good show, Kate. Now, let’s more on to great (please, more topless shots with new mom boobs). Enjoy.