Kate Middleton

Out With the Old, In With the New: Kate Middleton Set To Raise the Royal Hotness Meter By A Billion

By Bill Swift | July 22, 2011 @ 10:10 am

Kate Middleton Set to Be the Future Queen of England

Talk about a changing of the guards. Time for the grand old dame to set sail on the H.M.S. Ice Float, if you know what I'm saying, the era of Queen Kate Middleton can not come soon enough. I know what Henry Tudor would have done to expedite this matter.

(Please note, this is just a joke. We wish nothing but a long and healthy life for the current Queen of England. Seriously, you can listen to our voicemail messages, it's all we talk about here. LLTQ.)

Jennifer Lopez and Blake Lively Among the Hotties Who Came Out to Knob Hobs with Kate Middleton at BAFTA Event

By Jon | July 11, 2011 @ 9:44 am

Kate Middleton at the BAFTA Brits to Watch Event

Jennifer Garner at the BAFTA Brits to Watch Event

Elizabeth Banks at the BAFTA Brits to Watch Event

Jennifer Lopez at the BAFTA Brits to Watch Event

Blake Lively at the BAFTA Brits to Watch Event

Nicole Kidman at the BAFTA Brits to Watch Event

Talulah Riley at the BAFTA Brits to Watch Event

Jessica Chastain at the BAFTA Brits to Watch Event

Anna Kournikova at the BAFTA Brits to Watch Event

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Apparently, I'm not the only one in town with a monster crush on Duchess Catherine, because an entire swarm of celebrity hotties got dolled up for some trumped up BAFTA event which was all just an excuse to meet Kate Middleton and Prince Combover at this posh L.A.glamour fest. I can't really remember a time I've seen so many prima donnas go gaga and giggly over the chance to meet a celeb even bigger than themselves. There is something to be said for royalty still.

These giggling Tinsel Town ladies in waiting included Jennifer Garner, Elizabeth Banks, Blake Lively, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Chastain, Nicole Kidman, Talulah Riley, and a mightily underated Gugu Mbatha-Raw. So much hawtness in one location; now that is truly majestic. Enjoy.

British Hotness Invasion! The Royal Duchess Has Landed!

By Bill Swift | July 8, 2011 @ 7:41 pm

Duchess Catherine Touches Down in the U.S.

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The thought of Prince Combover having his way with Kate Middleton, my be-lusted, well, almost too much to bear, but now she's in my homeland. I shall storm her castle walls, sally forth into her keep, and dutifully exercise the full extent of my lance to liberate her from unfulfilled evenings. Or, in the alternative, I might just eat at the new Chick fil-A eight blocks from where she's staying in L.A. and sigh like a sad puppy.

Welcome to the U.S., Your Duchessness.

Cheeky! Kate Middleton Upskirt Pictures Flash the Regal Beagle

By Jon | July 8, 2011 @ 10:09 am

Kate Middleton Has an Upskirt in Her Yellow Dress

Pippa Middleton Looking Asstastic in Those Jeans

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I've really been having fun watching the sexy Duchess and Prince Combover travel across Canada this past week, donning local costumery like kids at a multicultural parade at a politically correct elementary school, but I've not been truly amazed until catching this summer dress Kate Middleton upskirt picture where the Cannuckian winds played a blessed joke on the royals, for the benefit of gentleman oglers everywhere. Just a year ago, I can't even imagine getting excited over the prospect of leering up any British royal's frock, but, oh, how times have changed. Just look at that little future queen's bum. Bloody good show indeed. Enjoy.

P.S. Since we're talking royal bums, at the same time as Duchess Catherine was flashing the bare bum in Canada, across the pond in the Old Country, little sister Pipa Middleton was showing a bit of the Middleton bottom muffins herself in a pair of skintight jeans. These girls play rough. And I like it!

Kate Middleton Skinny Hot Camper Fantasies Abound

By Jon | July 6, 2011 @ 8:37 am

Kate Middleton Out in Jeans at Blackford Lake

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I've been camping once in my life. I got poison oak in some tender areas. The lesson learned: we evolved out of the forest for a reason. Still, I get that some people like leaving the comfort of their living room to get in touch with their primeval spirit, to touch nature hands on. And speaking of touching things hands on, Kate Middleton and her monarchical new husband, Prince Combover, shed their designer formal wear in favor of designer outdoor wear for a great escape to Canada's Blachford Lake, where they met up with natives and non-native Canuckians alike to experience a bit of tribal living. And, Kate Middleton looked all kinds of skinny hot. No, she's not a supermodel, but she's a fine looking, if not overly slender version of a princess, who, personally, I'd like to have inside of my teepee, if you know what I'm saying. Enjoy.

Red, White and See-Through

By Jon | July 4, 2011 @ 11:16 am

Emma Stone goes back to her ginger ways. (Popoholic)

Lady Gaga touches herself on a toilet. (HuffPo)

Hotness Battle Royale: Kate Middleton vs. Princess Diana. (FoxNews)

Tyra Banks takes her bikini body south of the border. (Celebuzz)

Miley Cyrus in leather lingerie doesn't make me melancholy. (Idolator)

JWoww and her perfect asstastic show up for work. (HollywoodTuna)

Hot girls in the middle of nowhere. (TheChive)

Kate Middleton Regally Hot Visitor to Quebec (With Bonus Pippa Middleton Tight Top Pictures!)

By Jon | July 4, 2011 @ 10:07 am

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This whole British royal thing is really taking a major uptick since they finally got some lookers in the family. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge hit North America on their first official road trip where they hug lots of people, attend lots of swank cocktail parties, and Prince Combover desperately plays for light wind conditions at outdoor settings. I think that's basically their job description. Only, now, it's all different since Kate Middleton took center stage as the future queen of England. It's like Fergie joining the Black Eyed Peas, suddenly, there's something more than just noise, there's something to ogle. And ogle Kate Middleton I shall. I wish the Middleton girls would eat a sandwich every now and then, but, oh, boy, do they know how to look fine in a frock for all occasions.

And, speaking of the Middletons and their toned bodies, Pippa Middleton took to the streets of London this weekend in a rather form fitting top that highlighted her uber-aerobic body and small but delightful boobtastic, the toasts of the town, as it were. Maybe Pippa is not quite as regally hot as older sister and future queen, but this little brunette sprite has something sextastic going on in the Beefeater areas. Enjoy.