Egotastic! sends Kim Kardashian sex tape sales to new climax highs. (FoxNews)
Natalie Portman is back! (HuffPo)
Great men of history's great pick-up lines. (CollegeHumor)
Zoe Saldana sexes up Miami. (GlobalGrind)
Hot chicks forgetting to wear bras. (TheChive)
Is Selena Gomez a free woman? (GossipCop)
Kate Middleton and Pippa Middleton hit the beach. (SocialiteLife)
Talk about a changing of the guards. Time for the grand old dame to set sail on the H.M.S. Ice Float, if you know what I'm saying, the era of Queen Kate Middleton can not come soon enough. I know what Henry Tudor would have done to expedite this matter.
(Please note, this is just a joke. We wish nothing but a long and healthy life for the current Queen of England. Seriously, you can listen to our voicemail messages, it's all we talk about here. LLTQ.)
Apparently, I'm not the only one in town with a monster crush on Duchess Catherine, because an entire swarm of celebrity hotties got dolled up for some trumped up BAFTA event which was all just an excuse to meet Kate Middleton and Prince Combover at this posh L.A.glamour fest. I can't really remember a time I've seen so many prima donnas go gaga and giggly over the chance to meet a celeb even bigger than themselves. There is something to be said for royalty still.
These giggling Tinsel Town ladies in waiting included Jennifer Garner, Elizabeth Banks, Blake Lively, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Chastain, Nicole Kidman, Talulah Riley, and a mightily underated Gugu Mbatha-Raw. So much hawtness in one location; now that is truly majestic. Enjoy.
The thought of Prince Combover having his way with Kate Middleton, my be-lusted, well, almost too much to bear, but now she's in my homeland. I shall storm her castle walls, sally forth into her keep, and dutifully exercise the full extent of my lance to liberate her from unfulfilled evenings. Or, in the alternative, I might just eat at the new Chick fil-A eight blocks from where she's staying in L.A. and sigh like a sad puppy.
Welcome to the U.S., Your Duchessness.
I've really been having fun watching the sexy Duchess and Prince Combover travel across Canada this past week, donning local costumery like kids at a multicultural parade at a politically correct elementary school, but I've not been truly amazed until catching this summer dress Kate Middleton upskirt picture where the Cannuckian winds played a blessed joke on the royals, for the benefit of gentleman oglers everywhere. Just a year ago, I can't even imagine getting excited over the prospect of leering up any British royal's frock, but, oh, how times have changed. Just look at that little future queen's bum. Bloody good show indeed. Enjoy.
P.S. Since we're talking royal bums, at the same time as Duchess Catherine was flashing the bare bum in Canada, across the pond in the Old Country, little sister Pipa Middleton was showing a bit of the Middleton bottom muffins herself in a pair of skintight jeans. These girls play rough. And I like it!
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Egotastic
More Sextastic Brunette Brit: Elizabeth Hurley or Kate Middleton
Wow, this one is tough. Elizabeth Hurley these days and her brand new flesh puppies and hot MILF body packed into the teeny tiny dresses she wears to special events vs. the hottest future Queen of England in many many centuries, the slender-herself but butt-inspiring elder Middleton sister, Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge. Hmm. Mmm. So much British finery on display here.
Two sexy grown-up crumpets. I suppose in the end the contest would come down to who was more willing to go the extra mile to please the judge. And, no, not what you're thinking, I mean, unless you were thinking fellatio, then, yeah. Enjoy.