Real Housewives of Miami stat Joanna Krups took some time off from cat fighting to take some provocative pics for a calendar. She wears a series of scandalously small bikinis that show off her crazy nice body. But the real news is her covered topless pics. Her skinny arms cannot cover up the enormity of her tig ol’ bitties. Her funbags are gargantuan but really perky. There is sideboob galore, my friends. Joanna also shows off her totally incredible tummy in the bikini pics. You could seriously eat off of those abs they are so flat and toned. There is also some pretty ridiculous cleavage action. I’m going to start watching Real Housewives of Miami on the off chance that Joanna is in a bikini. I’ve stayed away from that particular incarnation of the Real Housewives franchise. As a Cuban-American people acting crazy in Miami hits a little close to home.
But still, it’s a small price to pay to see Joanna in a bikini.
For all it’s struggles of late, Maxim magazine and their party planners deserve credit for bringing out just one bevy of beauties type gathering for the celebration of their Maxim Hot 100 magazine edition. Naturally, there is much dispute over who makes the list, in what order, and the whole idea of lists at all, especially in an era when ‘listing’ has become synonymous with lowest common denominator content farming on the Internet. Still, who can argue, let alone not drool til parched, over the likes of Arianny Celeste and her boobtastic a’plenty along with peer hotties Candice Swanepoel, Joanna Krupa, Lacey Chabert, Greer Grammer, and more lovely lasses on full pimping display at the party’s red carpet line.
Now, the savvy ogler knows that the girls don’t linger long at these parties. It’s photo op, a few giggles and handshakes, and out the back door to either their next event or back to their pads for cucumber wraps, cold creams, and rest so they look their most stellar the next morning for their busy shooting schedules. That’s why I hang out with the staff in the alleys behind the venues. The best chance to see the girls, and, naturally, to bum some free smokes. That’s my Tuesday night. Enjoy.
Real Housewives of Miami may have been canceled. Oh, no! But the hotness lives on with my heavily belusted Joanna Krupa and her showmate and sextastic dentist buddy Karent Sierra playing in their bikinis all wet and frolicking and fun times on Miami Beach. When Joanna comes up out of the water to fix Karent’s bikini bottoms, well, it’s like something out of a dream. I don’t mean a dream in general, I mean one I have a lot. Exactly like that. I do dream in colors.
Sadly, Joanna and Karent offered up too much good looking sextastic for the series that is more interested in bitch slapping and drunken girl fights. That’s precisely how I know it was never intended for me. I only like when girls pretend fight. Maybe a little hair pulling. But then make nice with lots of little kisses and the sounds of heavy bass porn music kicking up in the background. I am a scholar and a gentleman. Enjoy.
My life changed the day I met Joanna Krupa in person. No, not like those girls who become inspired to be models or on TV or mary swarthy hot husband. More like, realizing what I thought was the depths of my passions was merely an artificial floorboard placed there by a subconscious afraid of being overrun by the libido. In short, a man’s profundity of lust is bottomless. There’s no ‘I don’t think I can imagine covering another crazy hot woman in honey and playing Pooh Bear’. There’s always room for more Pooh Bear.
Joanna Krupa was down South Florida way showing off and being photographed in her sextastic little two pice beneath the shade of trees. Joanna truly is one of those walking anomalies of hotness where you lose your breath for a minute when in her presence. That could also be the net effect of blood rushing to your nether regions in an ancient reproductive pre-game stretching routine. I really do love to see Joanna in her bikinis, or less. Any more would be too much. Bless you, Joanna. Enjoy.
Polish model and reality TV star Joanna Krupa was…well…so sexy at OK Magazine’s ‘So Sexy’ event in Los Angeles. Joanna wore a top that was basically a glorified bra. There was cleavage galore with its plunging neckline. Her amazing rack looked incredible. If only there were a way to make these pictures 3D so we could get the real effect of seeing them in person. Technology isn’t there yet, but I’m sure some pervy sciency dudes are working on solving the 3D boob picture on the internet problem. Since the top was so small there is also some pretty spectacular bare-midriff action going on. Her stomach and back are the very definition of ‘keeping it tight’. It’s no surprise seeing as she does all that Dancing With The Stars stuff. That crap is hard work. That’s one of the reasons I avoid dancing if I can. That and my having no sense of rhythm. Basically I look like a stomping Frankenstein’s monster.
I bet Joanna is good though. She looks like the type of gal that has an innate sense of rhythm, if you know what I mean. Wait…what do I mean?
Of course, everybody and their mother has a bikini line out these days. It used to be perfumes, now it’s bikinis. A step up visually in the least I might add. Of course, some deserve it more than others, and after all the ridiculously hot bikinis views Joanna Krupa has given us these past few years, she certainly deserves to launch her own bikini line. Especially when she intends to be the primary model for her wares.
Joanna was showing off her stellar body all made up on the beach in Miami showing off her animal sales pimping side. It was kind of hot and bothered. I’d buy some of her bikinis. I don’t mean the ones in the stores, I mean the ones she was wearing for the shoot, naturally. Joanna, call me, I’ve got mediocre to decent credit and I’m ready to purchase. Enjoy.