Joanna Krupa Divorcing, We Be Naughty Romancing

As always, I must truly caution you not to buy into all the fake news about separated and about to be officially single Joanna Krupa and I having an outrageous marathon of non-stop making of the sexy at my Red Roof Inn suite. Tales of barrels of honey being delivered to the second floor penthouse are highly exaggerated. Honey doesn't even come in barrels. Maybe gallons if you're a Costco member.

The wicked hot blonde Polski and her husband are splitting under amicable terms. That doesn't mean anybody needs to know of Joanna and I clenched in a slippery sweaty grip of passion so compressed, the jaws of life were brought in at one point in an attempt to separate our throbbing parts. The jaws broke.

Joanna, you were always and ever alluring and perfect bodied and enticing. Now that you are officially single. I make cat noise. Literally. I make a cat noise. Let's express our long held feelings for one another, before your rebound horrible decision making buzz wears off. Enjoy.

_{Photo Credit: @joannakrupa / Instagram}