Joanna Krupa

I Heart Joanna Krupa Poolside

This is quite thrilling to me. I had a dream the other night that I told Joanna Krupa, when she was ready to accept my sweaty paws into her special places, to get a heart shaped tattoo in the space just above her perfect booty crack. Now I awake to see that very perfect heart on the low backside of the sextastic Housewife tanning by her pool in both a low cut swimsuit and a bikini top and Daisy Dukes.

I have this sneaking suspicion that I might actually have to return to my dream if I want to collect on my arrangement. Doing so in real life might net me an actual punch to the throat. But just to be touched by Joanna might be worth the collapsed trachea. I’d do that deal. Enjoy.

Joanna Krupa Hates Bras and Love Stretch Pants, So Do We!

If I wasn’t in mad lust with Joanna Krupa since meeting her a couple weeks back, well, consider me in full blown passion drool. Not every woman looks as hot in person as on camera, but Joanna exceeded expectations to the point that I could hear my inner naughty monkey struggling to be free. Must, must contain that monkey to live in a polite society.

Now, to boot, literally, to booty, it  turns out that Joanna hates bras and loves bottom revealing stretch pants. Oh, we are a match made in heaven certainly as it turns out I also love that look. Naturally, not for myself, but on wicked hot celebrities who fine tune their female forms in the sweat of the Pilates and yoga classes in the warm weather cities around the globe. Joanna, this is nearly perfect. Now, leave me to my quiet leers. Enjoy.

Here’s the interview where Joanna was so obviously trying to hit on me:

Joanna Krupa and I Go a Couple Rounds (VIDEO)

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Joanna Krupa Loves a Good Fight!

Look, there were only so many late night phone calls I could take with Joanna Krupa begging to see me before I finally had to let the supremely hottie stalker onto my sacred grounds. If I had a nickel for every time one of the world’s hottest women pleaded to see me in person, I’d have not so many coins. But, boy, was hanging out with Joanna Krupa fun.

The hottest of the Real Housewives (by, oh, twenty leagues or so) has a new Joanna Krupa 2014 Calendar out you must check out if you happen to like sextastic women mostly nekkid. We discuss Joanna’s calendar, her love life, her feud with ‘tampon stringing’ Brandy Glanville, her caught topless photoshoot moment, and some other fun stuff in our 2 Random Minutes With interview. It was quite the happy time. Enjoy.

Bras Shmas. Joanna Krupa and Christina Milian Go Battle Sideboob in Miami Over the Weekend

Just when you thought it was safe to walk the streets of Miami without an embarrassing battle with wood, along come housewife hottie Joanna Krupa:

And sultry Latina Christina Milian, sporting serious sleeveless top sideboob without the need for a brassiere.

I guess you could call these two ladies true feminists. I applaud their social statements. Applaud and smile. Lots and lots of smiling. Enjoy.

Joanna Krupa Wears a Sleeveless Top Showing Sideboob in Miami

Joanna Krupa Bikinis in Pink and Blue for Miami Poolside Cooldown

Joanna Krupa is back from her brief L.A. awards show trip to her home in Miami where she has a pool surrounded by cameras and she obliges by putting on perfectly revealing little bikinis most days to show off her tremendously ripe housewife body. It’s really a quite nice symbiotic relationship between hottie and gentleman ogler and a model for how the world should work.

We’ve always had a hard soft spot for Joanna. This year she has been particularly benevolent to all of us in terms of wonderful bikini and topless visuals. So, together, we’d like to wish Joanna a very merry seasons greetings and a happy new year. Or nude year if she’s taking selfies with that camera. Enjoy.

Joanna Krupa Nipple Poking and Hot Bikini Weekend in Miami

Nope, those aren’t two tiny guns in her top, Joanna Krupa is just damn glad to meet you. And, why not. The Housewife seems to have a pretty decent life of shopping, sunbathing, and filming her craptastic reality show. Not bad for a simply hot girl from Poland. As a matter of thanks, Joanna does like to give back to her community of gentleman oglers, be it flashing her full headlights in a sheer dress while out shopping (above), or showing off once more in a bikini at her pool which seems to be perfectly constructed for paparazzi photos

Joanna is definitely a giver. And with that ridiculously hot body of hers, we are definitely visual takers so the formula works rather perfectly. There’s a lot to be said about Joanna Krupa, but selfish and withdrawn is certainly not one of them. Blessedly so. Enjoy.