Joanna Krupa

Joanna Krupa Bikini Booty Cheeks Paddle Boarding

This is the week of hot buttockals peeking out of thong bikini bottoms along the beach. Well, every week should be this week, but this past one in particular we’ve seen a dozen fine sextastic celebrities showing off their tush meat in shorts and bikinis. Enter the asstastic of Joanna Krupa, the hot housewife of some Bravo city or another who spends half her life in bikinis, with the body to more than cover such wardrobe responsibilities.

Joanna splits her time between Miami and Los Angeles, showing off in both towns, this time, South Florida in a tiny bikini wrapped barely around her body as she took to some showoff exercise routines courtesy of the paddle board, our new favorite device for ogling the fine female form of so many ocean goers these days. Stroke, stroke, stroke. What? Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m instructing Joanna on how to improve her paddle board speed. Oh, yes, Joanna, a little more to your left. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Joanna Krupa Blonde Birthday Girl Cleavage on Display in Hollywood

Blonde hot Housewife and Polski born fashion model Joanna Krupa left little to the imagination, as if that’s possible when your imagining sex swings and tall trees, when she hit Hollywood for a night out for her birthday in a cleavage baring dress. Why not flash your funbags on the anniversary of their birth, or the better part of them, at least let people try and blow out your excitable candles.

Joanna might be part of that craptastic Bravo lady degrading reality series, but she’s also one truly fine looking woman, dog lover, and object d’ lust of my many REM sleep dreams. That has to count for something. Okay, that and her showing off her sweet beats in public has to count for something. Happy Birthday, Joanna. Let me know when you’re ready for your present. I’m keeping it warm for you. Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, I’m talking about cake. Excuse me, I meant cock. Yeah, fine, so sue me. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Joanna Krupa Braless Nipple Poking Film Set Arrival, Yep, They’re Damn Glad to Meet You

As a general rule, you can’t help but be popular on a film set when arriving braless with your nipples poking out of your dress so hard it seems like the material might burst. It also help to be super hot and blonde. If you can pull off this combo, you are sure to be invited back for more work.

Joanna Krupa was before the cameras filming the thriller You Can’t Have It, which may or may not be the world’s next blockbuster film, but either way a lovely bit of shining the light on the Polish sextastic talent that is Joanna Krupa. I have a sneaking suspicion I’ll be watching this movie when it becomes available in whatever format. I’m a Krupa superfan. Me and those nipples, with both of us stretching for the winning line. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Joanna Krupa Deep Blonde Angelic Cleavetastic

Joanna Krupa truly is one of the hottest women I’ve ever met in person. And I’ve met like six. I get around. She’s simply stunning to the point when you meet her you want to ask her if you can get her a drink, or maybe a tattoo of her name on your bobo sac just to show you’re serious. When Joanna gets to showing off that toned body of hers, the excitement level simply rises. As she did over the weekend leaving a WeHo restaurant hot spot in something bright and white and revealing. Like an angel. A naughty angel. Those really are the best.

Joanna, call me, we need to get together again. I’ll wear the plastic riot hand ties and take the sedatives as recommended for in person meetings with men of my primal nature. Maybe a beach trip. I’ll bring the bikinis. I’m getting lost again. Such is the nature of lust. I don’t know where it falls exactly on that psych pyramid of human needs, but I can tell you it forms my entire base to tip. Of my pyramid. Of needs. I’m looking right at it. Make it stop, Joanna. Please don’t. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Joanna Krupa Almost Falls Out of Her Dress Partying for Her Man

I used to think Joanna Krupa told me she was married all the time was just her way of saying, Bill, look at your shoes, they have holes in them. Well, I tell you what. I drilled those holes in my shoes and I’m damn proud of my work. Also, Joanna Krupa really is married to some obviously hunky hunkmeister who in between having his chest hair shorn to save babies in developing nations owns some nightclubs in Miami. One of these locations celebrated their anniversary so Joanna put on her best, or at least, most revealing party dress, and got in on the action to support the cause. Now that’s a wife.

I’m hoping that if I ask super nicely, Joanna will wear this same dress to my Learning Annex graduation next month. I don’t like to brag, but I can not take dictation in shorthand in over seven dead languages. It’s pretty big. Not as big as her deep cleavage and that preening of hers in shiny showy wardrobes, but if I combine the two, I’m fairly certain I can make a Megazord of happy tingles. Party work well done, Joanna. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Dania Ramirez’s Bikini Bod And Other Fine Things To Ogle

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Dania Ramirez displays her bikini body on Twitter. (Drunken Stepfather)

Charlize Theron‘s Hotness Kinda makes me hate Sean Penn. (WWTDD)

Madonna shows off her luscious naked booty because she can. (TMZ)

The Jenner girls were chesty as F at the Grammys. (Huffington Post)

Julia Pereira models her bikini line and it is seriously sexy. (Hollywood Tuna)

Here is a sneak peek at Robyn Lawley in the 2015 SI Swimsuit Issue. (Popoholic)

Jessica Gomes in a swimsuit is the best thing I’ve seen today. (COED)

Joanna Krupa Side Boob Madness in Sin City

There’s sideboob and then there’s sideboob. Joanna Krupa flashing her braless wonderments in Vegas over the weekend. That’s sideboob.

The Polski blonde hottie Housewive was hosting some kind of party I’d never be invited to at 1OAK in Las Vegas. It’s okay, I didn’t want to go anyhow. Although, that was before I realized Joanna Krupa would be pimping out the place with a tiny white dress, no bra, and the healthiest dose of hottie sideboob I’ve seen in a while. Joanna is one of the most breathtaking lady lovelies I’ve ever had the fortune to meet. Had she worn this dress, she would’ve been the last women I ever met. CPR couldn’t bring me back from 500 bpm heart explosion. Just so damn hot. Bless you and your sideboob, Joanna. Job well done. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet