Joanna Krupa

Joanna Krupa Almost Falls Out of Her Dress Partying for Her Man

I used to think Joanna Krupa told me she was married all the time was just her way of saying, Bill, look at your shoes, they have holes in them. Well, I tell you what. I drilled those holes in my shoes and I’m damn proud of my work. Also, Joanna Krupa really is married to some obviously hunky hunkmeister who in between having his chest hair shorn to save babies in developing nations owns some nightclubs in Miami. One of these locations celebrated their anniversary so Joanna put on her best, or at least, most revealing party dress, and got in on the action to support the cause. Now that’s a wife.

I’m hoping that if I ask super nicely, Joanna will wear this same dress to my Learning Annex graduation next month. I don’t like to brag, but I can not take dictation in shorthand in over seven dead languages. It’s pretty big. Not as big as her deep cleavage and that preening of hers in shiny showy wardrobes, but if I combine the two, I’m fairly certain I can make a Megazord of happy tingles. Party work well done, Joanna. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Dania Ramirez’s Bikini Bod And Other Fine Things To Ogle

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Dania Ramirez displays her bikini body on Twitter. (Drunken Stepfather)

Charlize Theron‘s Hotness Kinda makes me hate Sean Penn. (WWTDD)

Madonna shows off her luscious naked booty because she can. (TMZ)

The Jenner girls were chesty as F at the Grammys. (Huffington Post)

Julia Pereira models her bikini line and it is seriously sexy. (Hollywood Tuna)

Here is a sneak peek at Robyn Lawley in the 2015 SI Swimsuit Issue. (Popoholic)

Jessica Gomes in a swimsuit is the best thing I’ve seen today. (COED)

Joanna Krupa Side Boob Madness in Sin City

There’s sideboob and then there’s sideboob. Joanna Krupa flashing her braless wonderments in Vegas over the weekend. That’s sideboob.

The Polski blonde hottie Housewive was hosting some kind of party I’d never be invited to at 1OAK in Las Vegas. It’s okay, I didn’t want to go anyhow. Although, that was before I realized Joanna Krupa would be pimping out the place with a tiny white dress, no bra, and the healthiest dose of hottie sideboob I’ve seen in a while. Joanna is one of the most breathtaking lady lovelies I’ve ever had the fortune to meet. Had she worn this dress, she would’ve been the last women I ever met. CPR couldn’t bring me back from 500 bpm heart explosion. Just so damn hot. Bless you and your sideboob, Joanna. Job well done. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Joanna Krupa Bikini Pimping for Warm Feelings in the Equatorial Regions

Joanna Krupa really does have a body made for bikini show. I’m not the least bit surprised she keeps finding herself on the booking end of so many bikini pimping shoots. Just look at that blond Polski sextastic modeling that two piece bit of finery. I’m still not sure why the world needs 9,7883 different bikini lines, Skimpy Thongs by Bill ought to be enough for all occasions, but the multitude of merchandising lines does lead to a multitude of hot model shoots, so it’s all very good.

Joanna Krupa could model burqas and it would be hot. Seeing her frolic seaside with her epic tight booty and that absolutely perfectly toned veteran hot body, I’m tempted to dig into my rainy day fund and buy some bikinis of my own. I wonder if they’re selling the floor model after use in her modeling shoot. I’d dig a little deeper for that. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Joanna Krupa Wears A Sexy One Piece At The Seminole Hard Rock

Joanna Krupa is being paid by the Seminole Hard Rock in Florida to hang out through the New Year’s holiday and basically just look sextastic. Hang by the pool in a form fitting swimsuit, gamble at the tables, party in the clubs. It’s quite a gig. And I’d say they make an excellent choice. If you’re going to lose your rent money and kids college fund somewhere, why not the place where Joanna is showing off her faptastic body and smiling like everything’s going to be okay. I usually just get a grumpy old dude with a mustache telling me too bad, I made some poor choices, then throwing me out of the casino.

I’ve lusted Joanna Krupa since our eyes first met, well, since my eyes met her photos, then eventually in person. You could do far worse than lining her up to be you’re everybody-very-happy girl pimping your hotel casino. I’d pack my bags if it weren’t for these silly interstate travel restrictions. Damn you ankle bracelet! Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

I’m Most Definitely in Lust With Joanna Krupa

As you know, my definition of true lust is falling hard every time you see a girl and she’s fully dressed. That’s a big emotional commitment on my part, even though I’m obviously imagining her nekkid. Joanna Krupa definitely fits into that category for me. Even before I had the chance to have her in my office for an intimate exchange of sadly only words, I was pretty much heels over head for this lovely nordic beauty. And since then, well treble the effect.

Just seeing Joanna back in Poland kicking it up business woman style has my cockles warming as if over an open flame. Though I’d not recommend doing that literally with your cockles unless you’re highly experience and you have some kind of flame retardant device handy. She’s just one stellar good looking woman who happens to hate bras. If she wasn’t married to a guy who looks like he came off the cover of Swarthy Male magazine, I do believe we could be happy together. Maybe we still can be, assuming he doesn’t know how to throw an axe with great aim. Enjoy.

Rihanna, Kelly Brook, Maria Menounous Highlight the Halloween Hotties 2014 Roundup

I’ve never quite understood why so many adults feel compelled to dress up in costume on Halloween, especially grown ups who spend their professional lives getting into fake characters to begin with. But who am I to argue when every single sextastic celebrity in Hollywood feels the peer pressure to dress up in something on the naughtier side every October 31st. I suppose I can live with it.

There were a number of big parties over the Halloween weekend. New York, L.A., London. Kate Hudson’s annual fest. Other must-attend gigs for dozens and dozens of A-list hotties in make up and often quite revealing outfit. While Aubrey O’Day and Heidi Klum went for ornate cool outfits, others like Kelly Brook and Alessandra Ambrosio and Joanna Krupa went for kitties and devils and everything lovely and candy sweet revealing. Halloween really is one of the single best show-off holidays of the year. The pagans knew exactly what they were doing. Check out some of the best of Halloween 2014 in the gallery. It’s a hot trip. Enjoy.