Joanna Krupa

Joanna Krupa Bikini Pimping for Warm Feelings in the Equatorial Regions

By Bill Swift | Jan 16th, 2015 @ 8:24 am
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Joanna Krupa really does have a body made for bikini show. I’m not the least bit surprised she keeps finding herself on the booking end of so many bikini pimping shoots. Just look at that blond Polski sextastic modeling that two piece bit of finery. I’m still not sure why the world needs 9,7883 different bikini lines, Skimpy Thongs by Bill ought to be enough for all occasions, but the multitude of merchandising lines does lead to a multitude of hot model shoots, so it’s all very good.

Joanna Krupa could model burqas and it would be hot. Seeing her frolic seaside with her epic tight booty and that absolutely perfectly toned veteran hot body, I’m tempted to dig into my rainy day fund and buy some bikinis of my own. I wonder if they’re selling the floor model after use in her modeling shoot. I’d dig a little deeper for that. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Joanna Krupa Heavenly in Pink Bikini
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Joanna Krupa Wears A Sexy One Piece At The Seminole Hard Rock

By Bill Swift | Jan 5th, 2015 @ 12:01 pm
Joanna Krupa Wears A Sexy One Piece At The Seminole Hard Rock
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Joanna Krupa is being paid by the Seminole Hard Rock in Florida to hang out through the New Year’s holiday and basically just look sextastic. Hang by the pool in a form fitting swimsuit, gamble at the tables, party in the clubs. It’s quite a gig. And I’d say they make an excellent choice. If you’re going to lose your rent money and kids college fund somewhere, why not the place where Joanna is showing off her faptastic body and smiling like everything’s going to be okay. I usually just get a grumpy old dude with a mustache telling me too bad, I made some poor choices, then throwing me out of the casino.

I’ve lusted Joanna Krupa since our eyes first met, well, since my eyes met her photos, then eventually in person. You could do far worse than lining her up to be you’re everybody-very-happy girl pimping your hotel casino. I’d pack my bags if it weren’t for these silly interstate travel restrictions. Damn you ankle bracelet! Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Joanna Washing Her Man's Car Made His Day, and Mine
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I’m Most Definitely in Lust With Joanna Krupa

By Bill Swift | Nov 25th, 2014 @ 9:59 am
Joanna Krupa Heads To TVN Studios
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As you know, my definition of true lust is falling hard every time you see a girl and she’s fully dressed. That’s a big emotional commitment on my part, even though I’m obviously imagining her nekkid. Joanna Krupa definitely fits into that category for me. Even before I had the chance to have her in my office for an intimate exchange of sadly only words, I was pretty much heels over head for this lovely nordic beauty. And since then, well treble the effect.

Just seeing Joanna back in Poland kicking it up business woman style has my cockles warming as if over an open flame. Though I’d not recommend doing that literally with your cockles unless you’re highly experience and you have some kind of flame retardant device handy. She’s just one stellar good looking woman who happens to hate bras. If she wasn’t married to a guy who looks like he came off the cover of Swarthy Male magazine, I do believe we could be happy together. Maybe we still can be, assuming he doesn’t know how to throw an axe with great aim. Enjoy.

JOANNA KRUPA MAINTAINS ONE SUPER FINE VETERAN HOTTIE BIKINI bODY
9 Photos »
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Rihanna, Kelly Brook, Maria Menounous Highlight the Halloween Hotties 2014 Roundup

By Bill Swift | Nov 3rd, 2014 @ 9:09 am
Rihanna in Halloween Celebrity Hotties 2014 Roundup
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I’ve never quite understood why so many adults feel compelled to dress up in costume on Halloween, especially grown ups who spend their professional lives getting into fake characters to begin with. But who am I to argue when every single sextastic celebrity in Hollywood feels the peer pressure to dress up in something on the naughtier side every October 31st. I suppose I can live with it.

There were a number of big parties over the Halloween weekend. New York, L.A., London. Kate Hudson’s annual fest. Other must-attend gigs for dozens and dozens of A-list hotties in make up and often quite revealing outfit. While Aubrey O’Day and Heidi Klum went for ornate cool outfits, others like Kelly Brook and Alessandra Ambrosio and Joanna Krupa went for kitties and devils and everything lovely and candy sweet revealing. Halloween really is one of the single best show-off holidays of the year. The pagans knew exactly what they were doing. Check out some of the best of Halloween 2014 in the gallery. It’s a hot trip. Enjoy.

JESSICA SIMPSON FLASHED HER UBER-BOOBTASTIC LAST HALLOWEEN
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Joanna Krupa Bikini Pimping Bikiniworld Hotness, That’s A Lot of Bikini

By Bill Swift | Oct 16th, 2014 @ 12:48 pm
Joanna Krupa Beach Shoot for Bikiniworld Swimwear 2014
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I’ve not heard of Bikiniworld, but it sounds like a place I’d like to live. I can have all of my stuff in a U-Haul in under 45 minutes at this point, gassed up, and ready to go. Joanna Krupa who is sort of my girlfriend though she doesn’t know it yet stars in the latest catalog pics for Bikiniworld and she will probably move many units. If I were a woman (oh, dare to dream) I’d probably purchase into anything that I thought might make me look anything as alluring as Joanna Krupa in these two pieces numbers.

I consider myself fortunate that the baggy swimsuit I’ve been sporting since the last millenium still fits and only gets modest jeers and put downs by the pool. I can’t imagine having to upgrade the swimwear every year, let alone every season. But as a service to our readers, I will naturally keep my peeps to the bikini promotional circuit, it’s a thankless job, but I’m not good with ‘you’re welcomes’. Enjoy.

JOANNA KRUPA HATES BRAS, SO DO WE
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Joanna Krupa Nipple Pokes For Your Braless Workout Visual Wonderments

By Bill Swift | Oct 1st, 2014 @ 10:40 am
Joanna Krupa Damn Excited to Meet You
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I suppose hottie housewife Joanna Krupa is just happy to be in Los Angeles. I’d like to think it’s because of me, but it’s mostly likely the Beverly Hills shopping, the sunshine, and she’d probably be forced to say her husband on camera, though I’d like to think I make the Top 100 reasons list. Either way, her superior nipples were trying to bust out of her sports bra top like nobody’s business as she made her way to the gym in Hollywood.

Just knowing Joanna is back in town without any bra on is kind of happy news for me. Just like I live in a part of town adjacent to nicer parts of town, I’d like to think I’m Joanna Krupa nipples adjacent, if not in physical proximity, then certainly in virtual thoughts. She really is quite the stunning woman. Her headlights alone are blinding me. That hot worked out body, I’m losing other senses as we speak. Keep up the good braless work, Joanna. We need you now more than ever. Enjoy.

JOANNA'S HEADLIGHTS ALWAYS BEAM WHEN VISITING LOS ANGELES
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Joanna Krupa Looking Sexy In An Aqua Blue Bikini

By Jack Tomas | Sep 11th, 2014 @ 7:50 am
Joanna Krupa in a Aqua Blue Bikini in Miami
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Polish professional hot person Joanna Krupa was looking hotter than a freshly boiled perogie in an aqua blue bikini in Miami. Joanna has an amazing pair of funbags that look incredible in this bikini top. Oh, there is is some splendid cleavage, my friends. They are like two perfectly round melons. Melons you want to, (ahem), squeeze. Her booty is also outstanding. I imagine that the people around this pool gave her a standing ovation for her bootilicious booty. Maybe a slow clap that builds into an uproar like at the end of an 80’s movie. I also think her hips look incredible in this bikini, especially the area where her hips meet her upper lady bits area. This is an unappreciated part of the female anatomy. I’m not even sure what it’s called. The occidental pooch?

Joanna lives there in Miami and has appeared on the celebration of plastic surgery mistakes known as the Real Housewives of Miami. That show is…unsettling. But I’ve watched it on the off chance Joanna shows up.

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