Candice Swanepoel

Candice Swanepoel Bare Midriff and Leggy in Shorts for New York Hotties in Shorts Season

Yep, it's officially July. Which means Rosie Jones and I will be both be celebrating our birthdays, along with America naturally. But, more importantly, warm weather in New York will force hot models to walk their yippy pooches in short shorts revealing their stellar legs. If you're uber-sextastic Candice Swanepoel, you'll also go bare midriff to flash all the hard work you do to keep your tummy right. Now if only we could ditch those stupid I Hate The Sun hats all the girls wear to make sure they aren't freckled at forty. They really do take away from my ogling pleasure.

Welcome, July. With all your heat and humidity, you will bear such ripe skintastic fruit. I applaud your arrival in as sweaty a manner as possible. Bring it on, and make the lovely sextastic ladies take it off. Enjoy.

Arianny Celeste, Candice Swanepoel, Joanna Krupa Highlight the Hotness at the Maxim Hot 100 Party

For all it's struggles of late, Maxim magazine and their party planners deserve credit for bringing out just one bevy of beauties type gathering for the celebration of their Maxim Hot 100 magazine edition. Naturally, there is much dispute over who makes the list, in what order, and the whole idea of lists at all, especially in an era when 'listing' has become synonymous with lowest common denominator content farming on the Internet. Still, who can argue, let alone not drool til parched, over the likes of Arianny Celeste and her boobtastic a'plenty along with peer hotties Candice Swanepoel, Joanna Krupa, Lacey Chabert, Greer Grammer, and more lovely lasses on full pimping display at the party's red carpet line.

Now, the savvy ogler knows that the girls don't linger long at these parties. It's photo op, a few giggles and handshakes, and out the back door to either their next event or back to their pads for cucumber wraps, cold creams, and rest so they look their most stellar the next morning for their busy shooting schedules. That's why I hang out with the staff in the alleys behind the venues. The best chance to see the girls, and, naturally, to bum some free smokes. That's my Tuesday night. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Struts, I Mean, Struts Onto the Sex of Extra

I couldn't be happier for uber-sextastic South African model Candice Swanepoel. After several years of lingerie modeling with Victoria's Secret she's really now coming into her own as a fashion model, hostess, commercial pimper, and general celebrity. She deserves it because super hot girls deserve everything they can get. Or, to put it more plainly, how much pleasure has Candice given you these past five years or so without so much as a request for a thank you? Exactly. She's due. She's overdue.

Candice put on a leg show and a half strutting onto the set of Extra TV at Universal Studios in some kind of short shorts thingee that revealed her killer hot long legs. There's not a spot on Candice's body I wouldn't like to lay Pop Rocks then make them crackle. Just such an epic fine female form. I wish I had an inane TV show for Candice to strut onto. Maybe I could invent one, filmed in my abode, naturally. Candice, come natural, we'll do makeup in my NFL signature wallpaper bathroom. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Hot as Heck And Decked Out for a Manhattan Photoshoot

You know, I do prefer to see the girls on my list of go-to FWB's primarily in the buff. But, occasionally, I do allow for a lady's need to look stunning hot and sextastic all decked out and grown up. Precisely as Candice Swanepoel did for some crazy hot evening wear shoot in the Big Apple over the weekend.

Candice looks good in and out of everything, but this particular sneaky peek made it hard not to imagine taking her somewhere fancy, like one of those gourmet restaurants that instinctively knows to pretend they can't hear me when I ask if open toed sandals are allowed for the male patrons. I'd take her out nice like that, maybe rent one of those horse carriages that provide the risk of Candice and I being hospitalized for broken bones and contusions in side by side ER gurneys. That'd be pretty romantic. Especially if her painkillers kick in before mine and both of us are on wheels. Dare to dream, fantasies stoked by Candice. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Is Still (One of the) Best Bikini Models in the World

See how I couched that. I really don't like superlatives when it comes to personal taste. I happen to think Candice Swanepoel is one of the finest, hottest, best looking bikini models in the world. Maybe you think she's not all that and you'd not give her the time of day if she begged you to while laying nekkid across your bed. That's you. You're nuts. I'm sane and ogling this South African hottie in this new and crazy sextastic bikini photoshoot for Victoria's Secret.

Candice Swanepoel has been receiving lots of accolades from certain periodicals of late that I suppose just discovered her after several years now of being uber-sextastic for the signature lingerie manufacturer. This is why I like to show you the up and comers early, so you can be pretentious and cocky like me and tell all your friends, oh, yeah, I heard about her... four year ago! But that's just me, a guy who thinks Candice is crazy hot. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pimping With Full Force for Victoria’s Secret

Candice Swanepoel is back where she belongs. On the pages of Victoria's Secret catalog looking impossibly hot in bikinis that can't possibly look so perfect on the purchasers. Alas, if only we lived in wonderland. Nevertheless, Candice sells the two-piece dream like no other, being flown about the world to various beaches to don the sextastic swimwear and soak in the digital photography.

Candice is, was, always will be a natural when it comes to modeling the bikinis and the bras and panties. We were all born with certain talents, mine for instance is being able to stare without blinking at Candice in her tiny bikinis for up to seventeen minutes. I know, I am blessed. Though perhaps slightly less than Candice. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Models Bikinis and Sports Bras and Panties, Oh My

Hmm, Candice Swanepoel, where have you been hiding? Granted, it's probably only been a month or so since we've seen Candice, but even two minutes without visual leering at this uber-sextastic South African lingerie model is two minutes far too long.

Not that I don't have my leather bound book of Candice hotness to refer to during my wistful moments, but it's not the same as the steady flow of new wonderments from Candice like this fresh set of bikini, bra, and panties pimping catalog pics for Victoria's Secret. I'm not sure how women resist asking for 'give it to me all'. I know I can't resist saying the same to Pam, my V.S. telephone sales rep. Enjoy.