Candice Swanepoel

Toni Garrn, Isabeli Fontana, Candice Swanepoel Among the Hotties at Harper’s Bazaar Fashion Week Party

if you didn’t bring at least twenty change of clothes, consider yourself under prepared for Fashion Week in New York. The sponsored parties and events are non-stop for the good looking and famous class of young women models, actresses, divas, and socialites. Not to mention fashion bloggers. Oh, they really are the best.

The Harper’s Bazaar ICON party may have won the weekend at least with its impressive guest list that includes Candice Swanepoel, Kendall Jenner, Lady Gaga, Isabeli Fontana,Toni Garrn, and Karolina Kurkova. Kind of an odd ensemble, but a powerhouse celebrity list nonetheless. And all looking their best. Even Lady Gaga made efforts. If you’ve ever thought about a career in fashion, these kinds of fancy get-ups might convince you to stick with your dream. Just imagine the excitement of having these ladies screaming in your ear or firing you. Wonderful! Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Black Lingerie Sextastic Showcase on Set

Sometimes I just look at Candice Swanepoel in lingerie and being to cry like a small child. She stirs up deep emotions within my otherwise stoic soul.

Candice was strutting around in black showy lingerie for some promotional video and she looked so damn hot I almost pretended I was the director and needed to see her in my trailer to discuss emoting. We’d come out three hours later covered in the sweat that only people with true passion for one another can ever generate. Well, I’ll be sweaty, she’ll mostly be screaming for help, but it’s still romantic. Candice, you do wonders for a man’s testosterone levels. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Photoshoot for Victoria’s Secret July 2014

Candice Swanepoel Sextastic Wanton Wet Hottie

I’d watch Candice Swanepoel eat a lettuce sandwich with a big smile on my face. That South African super sextastic blonde could do anything and make it crazy hot. And when she’s actually trying to look wet and hot and sultry in a photoshoot, forget about it, everything passion inducing raises by treble.

In this Fernando de Noronha shoot, with dude removed as best possible, Candice shows that she’s much more than just a staid catalog model. When Candice gets to alluring poses, she takes it right off the charts. Let’s just call these poses romantic by the beach. And, by romance,  I think you know I mean downright outstanding levels of lust inducement. Candice, you really are a treat. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Wearing Tights In NYC

South African beauty Candice Swanepoel was spotted leaving the gym in New York City wearing some incredibly constrictive tights. You know those models that have their bodies painted to look like clothes? Well that’s how these tights look on Candice. Every curve is shown off. You can also see her rather spectacular thigh gap. She was also sporting a shirt that had no sides to it which allowed us a nice view of her sports bra. Candice has an amazing set of South African funbags. I do love the look of a woman wearing a sports bra. Sure, it’s not as sexy as lacey lingerie but it makes me think of sweaty women fresh from a workout. That’s hot, yo.

I can tell by the pics that she was in the lower East Side. This surprises me because I didn’t know there was a gym over there. I thought it was just hipster restaurants and dudes doing heroin.

Candice Swanepoel Bare Midriff and Leggy in Shorts for New York Hotties in Shorts Season

Yep, it’s officially July. Which means Rosie Jones and I will be both be celebrating our birthdays, along with America naturally. But, more importantly, warm weather in New York will force hot models to walk their yippy pooches in short shorts revealing their stellar legs. If you’re uber-sextastic Candice Swanepoel, you’ll also go bare midriff to flash all the hard work you do to keep your tummy right. Now if only we could ditch those stupid I Hate The Sun hats all the girls wear to make sure they aren’t freckled at forty. They really do take away from my ogling pleasure.

Welcome, July. With all your heat and humidity, you will bear such ripe skintastic fruit. I applaud your arrival in as sweaty a manner as possible. Bring it on, and make the lovely sextastic ladies take it off. Enjoy.

Arianny Celeste, Candice Swanepoel, Joanna Krupa Highlight the Hotness at the Maxim Hot 100 Party

For all it’s struggles of late, Maxim magazine and their party planners deserve credit for bringing out just one bevy of beauties type gathering for the celebration of their Maxim Hot 100 magazine edition. Naturally, there is much dispute over who makes the list, in what order, and the whole idea of lists at all, especially in an era when ‘listing’ has become synonymous with lowest common denominator content farming on the Internet. Still, who can argue, let alone not drool til parched, over the likes of Arianny Celeste and her boobtastic a’plenty along with peer hotties Candice Swanepoel, Joanna Krupa, Lacey Chabert, Greer Grammer, and more lovely lasses on full pimping display at the party’s red carpet line.

Now, the savvy ogler knows that the girls don’t linger long at these parties. It’s photo op, a few giggles and handshakes, and out the back door to either their next event or back to their pads for cucumber wraps, cold creams, and rest so they look their most stellar the next morning for their busy shooting schedules. That’s why I hang out with the staff in the alleys behind the venues. The best chance to see the girls, and, naturally, to bum some free smokes. That’s my Tuesday night. Enjoy.