Amber Heard

MSM Weekly Theatrical Flesh Roundup Includes Amber Hard, Auretta Gay, Dawn Clark, and Kim Hopkins (VIDEO)

 

You feel that? That's the chill of winter coming (except for our good friends who live where the toilet bowls spin counterclockwise) and that means it's time to put away the toys of summer (like my multi-beer party hat) and pickup the cold weather entertainment options (like my multi-beer party hat and some good movies) with a view into what's nekkid onscreen this week courtesy of our friends at Mr. Skin and the Mr. Skin Minute.

This week's almost precisely one-minute of skin-and-sin on film includes Amber Heard in The Rum Diary, Auretta Gay sans top in the classic, Zombie,  and Dawn Clark and Kim Hopkins topless in The Hollywood Knights, out on Blu-Ray. Enjoy.

Amber Heard Flashes Her Super Hot Body For Rum Diary Premiere

I try to divorce my lust for Amber Heard from the fact that she takes part in the making of the sexy with other women, a Sapphic lure that has been dashing men's hopes, while capturing their libidos, throughout the centuries now. Of course, not thinking about Amber cross-carpet munching only makes me think about her scissor-kissing hot sisters that much more. So, it's pointless. Let's just focus on her obvious hot looks then, shall we?

I know at least some of you consider Amber Heard to be the honest young actress in Hollywood. I prefer not the superlatives when it comes to hotness, so many to choose from, but seeing her flashing the form and figure and legs and cleavage the Great Giver of the Sextastic done gave at last night's premiere of The Rum Diary, well, I'm not inclined to argue with those who make such a claim. When a girl looks this hot dressed up, you can only imagine her undressed, which, sadly, you will have to imagine only unless and until you produce a verified vajayjay, or pull a reverse Chaz. Still, the ogles are free and quite nice. Enjoy.

Brazilian

Rihanna sexes up the southern hemisphere. (Celebuzz)

Padma Lashmi gets curvy. (HuffPo)

Hot girls with heaving... personalities. (TheChive)

Amber Heard is an authentic bunny. (FoxNews)

The real knock-out. (GlobalGrind)

Rosie Huntington-Whitely runway hottie. (Celebuzz)

Ok, this is just cool. (CollegeHumor)

Amber Heard Gets Kinky Bondage Boobtastic for Vs.

You know how artsy creeps me out sometimes, I mean, I get artistic expression, like when the dancing girls come down the poles upside down to Cherry Pie, pure creative genius, but other forms of subjective costume and backdrop arrangements for the purposes of eliciting oohs and aahs? Meh. Of course, exceptions must be made, and those exceptions are always hot. Case in point, the deliciously femme-femme-fatale Amber Heard as this month's covergirl for Vs. magazine. I don't quite get what's going on, but I know it's Amber Heard sextastic mixed with some measure of fetishy bondage cosplay, and that there is more than plenty good enough for my art appreciation sensibilities.

I'm a cultured man, I just like my culture with some boobs. Is that too much to ask? Enjoy.

Kate Upton vs. Amber Heard: Battle of the Guess Ad Super-Hotties

While Armani may have scored Megan Fox for their leading pimpstress, Guess brands doubled up with the deliciously cleavetastic Kate Upton and the lusciously lesbionic Amber Heard, an amazing specimen of all things honey-drippable. It's like a dynamic duo of the sextastic, but who is hotter?

Here's a side by side comparison of the Kate and Amber in dueling black and white Guess promotional campaign ads, where the two ridiculously sexy celebs are being paid to sell clothes, but all I can think about is paying to get them undressed. Hey, the truth is not always pretty. Enjoy.

Brooklyn Decker Leads List of Hotties (Once Again) at the ESPY Awards

Just like last year, super model sportsy hottie Brooklyn Decker took the title of sexiest red carpet babe at last night's ESPY Awards in Los Angeles. She'll probably win that particular title until she actually drops out of the competition. I love the ESPYs for the mere fact that there's absolutely no reason to have these awards other than to bring together a bunch of big named professional athletes with a bunch of big named super sexy celebrities, and, therein, is plenty reason enough.

In addition to Brooklyn Decker, ESPY sextastic standouts included lesbionic awesome Amber Heard, sportscaster hottie Erin Andrews, boobtastic Kendra Wilkinson, TV hostess Jill Wagner, hot TV actress Jaime Pressly, Bethany Hamilton, the world's sexiest one-armed surfer, Indy driver Danica Patrick, model Damaris Lewis, sexy-thesp Kerry Washington, Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn, and our recently featured amazingly hot Rachel Nichols.

Quite a shot. Enjoy.

Miranda Kerr and Ashley Greene Lead List of Uber-Hotties at Fashion Awards

Bless you, Council of Fashion Designers of America.

By way of disclaimer, everything I know about fashion comes on the advice of Lupita Li, my personal Target shopper. Everything made of cloth I have ever bought my girlfriend has been returned. I know bupkis about fashion (except that I dream of it being removed from hot women while they are shackled and oiled down before my La-Z- Boy recliner). However, I must applaud any ruse to bring together some of the hottest hotties in Hottieville for a parade of hotness, such as the Fashion Awards put on last night by the CFDA which spotlighted the sextastic of Miranda Kerr (such an effin' epic comeback), Ashley Greene (doll up like almost no other), Naomi Watts (looking very good), Amber Heard (putting the lips in lipstick lesbionics), Alessandra Ambrosio (never not super hot), Doutzen Kroes (another amazing post-baby recovery picture story), Emmanuelle Chriqui (who if we don't see nude onscreen soon, I'll be shocked), and Jessica Alba (who could be 22-months pregnant and I'd still find her awesome). I dare you not to enjoy.

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