Alessandra Ambrosio

Kate Upton and Kendall Jenner Make the Media Fashion Awards in N.Y.C.

In case your electronic buzzer wasn’t going off, do be aware that we are currently experiencing Fashion Week in New York. They seem to happen all the time, but this one in early September is clearly the biggest of the year in the Big Apple. Everybody who’s anybody in the world of fashion, or what I like to call, expensive clothes, is in town this week for all the parties, fashion shows, and naturally, the good drugs.

The Week kicked off with the Media Fashion Awards, one of the many pseudo awards shows planned for the week as an excuse to find a corporate sponsor position. I could care less how fake it was when hotties Kate Upton, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Dakota Fanning walked through the front door with invitations. That makes it a party right there. Or an award show. Had I been invited, I would’ve have worn my ascot and talked about the wonderful new looks this year that kind of look like the wonderful new looks of a couple years ago. I can fake it for the love of the sextastic. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio Shows Legs Off While Shopping

Professional hottie and sexy person Alessandra Ambrosio was spotted showing off those million dollar legs while shopping at Nordstroms in Santa Monica. She wore a pair of short white cut-offs that displayed her tanned, toned thighs and her shapely long legs. There are few people out there in the world as hot as Alessandra. She’s the gold standard upon which other hot women must be judged. Her legs are definitely one of her best features. That’s one benefit to being a tall model is that you get more lovely legs to work with. I go to Nordstroms all the time. It’s one of my wife’s favorite stores. I would say I’ve been to every one on the Eastern seaboard. I never see anyone who looks like Alessandra at Nordstroms. It’s usually either oily Jersey Shore types or older nebbish ladies complaining about their feet being swollen.

Maybe I’m just on the wrong coast and if I went to California things would be different? Apparently there you can see Alessandra Ambrosio in short shorts. What a magical place.

Alessandra Ambrosio Goes To Her Morning Yoga Class In Tights

The ever gorgeous Alessandra Ambrosio was looking hot as F in a pair of tights on her way to yoga. Yoga is the ancient art that teaches women how to be all bendy and sport a camel toe in Lululemon tights. At least, that’s the type of yoga Alessandra is into. I’m quite sure that when she bends over to do downward facing dog you see the outline of her upward facing kitty cat, if you get my meaning. One can only hope that it was one of those hot yoga classes to add to the sweaty fun. Of course, she doesn’t have to do much to get our motor running. Alessandra looks good in anything. A bikini, tights, an evening dress. I’m pretty sure she could make a potato sack look sexy.

I hear that yoga is supposed to lead to enlightenment through stretching or something. All I know is that Alessandra in tight tights is all the Nirvana I need.

Alessandra Ambrosio In A White Hot Bikini In Malibu

Brazilian girl of our dreams Alessandra Ambrosio showed off her goodies in a small white bikini in Malibu. She was on the beach with her family but was looking very much like a mother I would like to know in the Biblical sense, if you know what I mean. Her Brazil nuts were looking magnificent in the white top to the bikini. She’s got a near perfect rack. The only thing that could make it better is if there were somehow four yum yums instead of two. You know, like in Total Recall, (the original not the crappy remake). She’s incredibly well toned too. There is nary a jiggle to be found on Alessandra’s body. Her booty also looks spectacular in her tiny bikini bottoms.

Then again, her booty would look good in anything. She could be wearing a pair of granny panties or double reinforced Spanx and still look hot as F.

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Weekend In Hawaii

Professional hot person Alessandra Ambrosio showed off her goodies in a bikini filled romp in Hawaii this weekend. Ah, to have the life of an international model. From what I can tell you spend most of your time in exotic locales wearing a bikini, (not that I’m complaining about that). No one wears a bikini better than Alessandra. Her jugs fill out any bikini top with their glorious boobtacularness. You can see some pretty amazing cleavage in the pictures where she is body surfing. It probably helps that her funbags also work as a flotation device. The bottoms are so small that you can see the cut of her hips heading down to her lady bits. This is an often ignored part of the female anatomy. That’s because most girls aren’t as chiseled as Alessandra. If only they were the world would be a better place.

Alessandra is one of our favorite girls here at Egotastic. That’s because she is very often scantily clad and is super hot. She is doing the good work of being sexy every day.

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Lust Affair in Hawaii Continues

It’s hard to imagine there are any poses left for Alessandra Ambrosio to strike during her multi-bikini hot mommy vacation in Hawaii, but if there are, she’s going to find them. On day five here of me being extremely jealous of her cocktail straws and what she does in the form of nibbling, chewing, and, of course, sucking, the Brazilian V.S. model continues to find new tiny bikinis and preening positions to excite the sense and elate the onlookers.

I’m pretty sure that shot of Alessandra lounging in the shoreline with the waves lapping up between her bikini bottoms has now officially made me jealous of the Pacific Ocean. Sure, call humans the highest life form. That body of water sure seems to be getting the better end today. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Perfect in Blue (With a Straw That Is Making Me Jealous)

I’m not above being fitfully jealous of an inanimate object. One such as that plastic straw the mighty MILFtastic Alessandra Ambrosio is sucking, chewing, and spinning around in her mouth whilst preening in her blue bikini across the warm Hawaiian sands. Even the hurricanes originally destined for the islands changed course when they knew it might result in one less day of seeing Alessandra barely covered in her little thong numbers.

I can’t imagine a much hotter mom disturbing the otherwise tranquil heart rates of Hawaiian island vacationers than Alessandra. Those reflective sunglasses just complete the picture of super model allure. Damn, I could watch her all day. I’ve already spent half the day, not much more to go. Alessandra, bless you and motherhood and bikini makers and lucky bastard straws. Enjoy.