Alessandra Ambrosio

Happy Early Birthday, Alessandra Ambrosio

When you're a celebrity, or at least, a wicked hot lingerie model, you get to celebrate your birthday over the course of many nights. There's no shortage of people who want to take you out for drinks and give you a birthday spanking.

Alessandra Ambrosio is turning 33, but not until tomorrow, which puts me on the first ever early side of a birthday wish. I'm typically two weeks late. The Victoria's Secret MILFtastic hottie went out to one of the hot clubs last night looking more sextastic than ever in a tight little black dress. As I've always believed, the truly good looking girls get even more alluring with age. Happy Birthday, blessedly hot creature from Brazil.

Alessandra Ambrosio Red Hot Cleavy Goodness Pimping Something Shmata in the Big Apple

I'm not sure what Alessandra Ambrosio is selling in New York, but I'm going to go ahead and just assume it's her devilishly angelic MILFtastic goodness. It might also be that dress and some silly designer clothing and whatnot, but really, let's be honest, the woman makes the dress. If that particularly woman made the 'undress', I'd probably not be able to type for some time, though sadly Alessandra did seem to restrain herself to just show off her cleavage and some tight, toned midriff from all those Pilates workouts we've spied her sweating out.

It seems pretty easy to be a clothing designer when you can afford the likes of Alessandra to come model your wares. She'd look amazing in a bed sheet barely wrapped around her stellar long lean female form. I guess somebody made a few more cuts and stitches to the bed sheet and is calling it high fashion, but we ogling gentleman know the truth. The birthday suit is the only piece of women's apparel worth the price. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio Works Hard for the Money Body at Pilates

I can scientifically confirm for you that you can't build a tight toned body merely by watching sports and drinking beer. If only you could. Alessandra Ambrosio may have been gifted with Mother's Nature special blessing of genetic goodness, but she like the rest of hottie celebrity world works to keep all the innate pieces in fine working order.

Like many of her peers, Alessandra relies heavily on Pilates to keep her long lean figure in sweet female form. Like many of you, I like leering at hot women doing Pilates. Which works out perfectly today as we get a chance to sneaky peek Alessandra in her revealing workout gear getting down to the fine art of body sculpting. That's not sweat you see on my face, those are tears. Bless you, Alessandra, for all that you show, including how you end up showing off so well. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio Drop Dead Leggy Gorgeous in Brazil

Alessandra Ambrosio always looks damn amazing, but somehow she still kicks it up one more notch when she returns to Brazil the conquering model hero to promote various products and fashion lines.

Alessandra was doing just such pimping down in her native country and flashing all kinds of seriously long and hot legs, the kind that cause me to lose myself in deep thought for hours to days on end. Oh, to be the man fortunate enough to shave and lotion those long stems. I'd turn it into something of a ceremony. Some candles, soft dentist office music, and some kind of chew toy. That would be to muffle my screams. I'm not sure I'd get through both legs, but I know I'd have a great entry for my diary. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio Sideboob Makes Me Want to Buy a Dress or Something

Sex sells. That's an old rule that's old because it's true. Sideboob on a supermodel is a nice substitute for that. So, Alessandra Ambrosio flashed a whole lot of her chesty goodness at the opening of her fashion line, Ale, in Beverly Hills. Everybody seemed to want to only talk about how amazing her new clothing line looked, while obviously staring at her faptastic melons. So I'd say it worked.

Someday, I'm going to have my own clothing line as well. Probably in the corner at Target near where the bathrooms are. I hope Alessandra comes out in a revealing dress to support my line of basketball shorts, beer t-shirts, and sandal wear. I feel like I've been highly supportive of her for many years now, albeit mostly in a naughty fantasy during private time kind of way, I would like her to scratch my back. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio Modeling Bikinis and Looking Mighty Fine in L.A.

It was a big day for Alessandra Ambrosio yesterday in L.A.  Well, I guess everyday is a big day when you're a hot model mom, though were I Alessandra I would spend most of my days in the tub with my loofah and some Lionel Richie Best of CDs.

Alessandra began the day on top of a West Hollywood hotel modeling a new bikini line for V.S. along with angel cohort Behati Prinsloo:

Then into a form fitting bare midriff dress for a stellar sextastic appearance on Extra, a television show you'd have to threaten to stick a fork in my eye before I'd watch, but then I will most definitely be peeking behind the scenes the various lovely ladies like Alessandra pimping their wares on the set. She did have quite a day yesterday. I'd sure love to be part of her tomorrow. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio Cleavetastic at Carnival in Brazil

You have to expect a warm welcome when a hottie returns to her homeland during the holidays. In this case, the mightiest of all holidays in Brazil, Carnival, that thing you see in every single movie ever made about Brazil. But Alessandra Ambrosio still managed to stand out from the pack of fellow Sudamericana hotties with a healthy does of cleavage during a presentation in Sao Paulo.

We've long admired Alessandra's long lean model model, booty, and some rather fetching stems, now a chance to openly ogle her boobtastic in her birthplace. There's something very touching about that. I mean, I can really imagine lots of touching. Enjoy.