Egotastic
That’s a lofty claim, right there. As we know, the world of manly movies is littered with a vast array of rippling biceps, comically oversized firearms, ill-advised stubbly half-a-beards and motor vehicles colliding with other motor vehicles at high velocity with fatal, oftentimes highly flammable and/or face-break-y results. And that’s the way we goddamn like it.
So the question is, how could we possibly choose, from amongst it all, the most guytastic thirty seconds of footage in cinematic history?
The answer is: we don’t have to. Spoony has done it for us. His review of the Reb Brown ‘classic’ Mercenary Fighters features the above footage, proclaimed to be the manliest thing ever recorded on film. Do the men of Egotastic!, with the balls of steel and heroic disposition that you all totally have, agree?
Hopefully. Because if roaring like a constipated Tyrannosaurus that has overdosed on Ex-Lax (against the most realistic background ever) doesn’t just shriek ‘testosterone,’ what the hell does? As a canny Youtube commenter known only as 20324758 states, ‘the whole scene is so manly that an explosion goes off in the background for no apparent reason.’ Can you argue with that? You can’t.
Meet the Next Villains (Apparently) Appearing in Batman- Arkham Origins: Dark Knight Movie Stars the Joker and Bane
Well, not ‘meet’ per se. You (and the rest of the world’s populace, including those obscure tribes in the Amazon that cruise about in their look at my wang, waving merrily in the wind as nature intended loincloths shooting monkeys in the ass with poisoned darts) surely witnessed these two guys’ antics in The Dark Knight/The Dark Knight Rises/previous Arkham installments. They are, as wacky funster Will Ferrell once -almost- said, kind of a big effin’ deal.
So, too, is the fact that they both seem to be reprising their respective roles of watching the world burn and rasping incoherently from behind a Hannibal Lecter-esque mask in Batman: Arkham Origins. As IGN reports, a recent promotional standee for the game shows surreptitious, lurking-in-the-background images of Bane and the Joker, which goddamn close to confirms that they’ll feature in Origins. As one of the aforementioned eight assassins hired to murderize Batman? As another element of the plot? A cameo appearance? We don’t yet know.
What we do know is that you want another snark-tacular look at just who these guys are, for those deficient in their comic book knowledge. Which you can find by raising your eyes gallery-wards. We saw Black Mask and Deathstroke in the last installment, join us next time for Scarecrow and Killer Croc, both of whom also appeared in IGN’s exposé.