‘Five Nights At Freddy’s’ Dev Thinks Our Butts Can’t Handle His New Game

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chris-littlechild - October 6, 2016

  As we know all too damn well, some people are celebtastic for life. The likes of Kanye, Kim and mothereffin’ Bieber are always going to be hawking their unique brands of BS (those being having a shit beard, having a huge bodacious ass and being an all-round Canadian douchetacular respectively). These guys cannot and will not be stopped. Ever. 

On the other side of the coin, there are those who get their fifteen minutes of fame, then have the good grace to disappear and leave us in peace. This applies to all sorts of things, not just people. Remember when Angry Birds was the Biggest Damn Thing Ever (tm)? Sure, there was a movie recently, but who the hell cares? Nobody, that’s who.

A similar fading phenomenon would be Five Nights at Freddy’s. Scott Cawthon’s cheap-jump-scare ‘em up was a huge deal a while back, when YouTube let’s players were howling like orgasming orangutans into their mics for views. The games were being pumped out a little too much, though, and it’s starting to wear thin of late.

With all of that said, the cynic in me is taking Cawthon’s explanation for the latest game’s delay as a cheap PR ploy.

Over on the Five Nights at Freddy’s: Sister Location Steam page, he posted:

‘Hey guys, I wanted to post an announcement that this game might be postponed, and I'm not really sure when it would be released. There are certain plot elements that are very dark, to the point where I sometimes feel sick. There would be no easy fix to this. I either release it Friday as it is, or I delay it by several months to completely rework the plot into something kid-friendly. I'm unsure what I'm going to do. As always, thanks for your support.’

Remember that time you were seven years old, and your mama forbade you from staying up late to watch the scary movie? You wanted to watch it more than ever, didn’t you, and you shat the bed that night. It was all ma’s fault, really and you didn’t deserve to be nicknamed Shitty McShitpants all the way through highschool once that story got out.

That’s the vibe I’m getting from Cawthon’s words here. He knows what he’s doing. Still, I could be wrong, and Sister Location really could be taking us to hitherto unvisited depths of satan’s ass. Who knows?

Via Kotaku.

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