TMZ Posts:

The Reese Witherspoon Handcuffed Booking Video

Well, if you're like me and you ever wondered what it would look like to see Reese Witherspoon in handcuffs, now's your chance. Our friends at TMZ have the Reese Witherspoon police booking video featuring the so-innocent mom being taking into the police station for processing.

Normally, we'd side with any hot girl and blame the police for overzealous arrests. But it does seem from the reports like Reese went a tad bit overboard in her cop harassment during the arrest of her husband on suspected DUI charges. Best not to start lecturing the cops and disobeying orders if you don't want to get hooked up and, yeah, end up being seen on video in handcuffs.

Miranda Kerr Is Going to Live!

As TMZ first reported, Miranda Kerr appears to be the victim of an intoxicated driver who plowed into her car yesterday in L.A., leaving the uber-sextastic goddess with some serious neck pain, but it appears nothing worse.

First point. Please, don't drink and drive. We do our fair share of the former here, but always find $10 to sleep it off in the magic-room of a tranny hooker along the boulevard.

Second, next time, hit Orlando.

(R.I.P.) Mindy McCready Found Dead of Apparent Suicide

I'm getting so old that I can remember Mindy McCready in her twenties looking pretty hot, dating dudes like Dean Cain, in between her secret teenage affair with Roger Clemens, natch, and before the sex tape (and, no, today is not the day to be viewing that), but, here's a valuable lesson I suppose in drugs and the people who love them. That's an affair that never lasts for too long.

Read all about Mindy McCready's descent toward suicide on TMZ this morning.

Ron Jeremy Goes Down! No, Not Like That

Our friends at TMZ are reporting that hirsute chubby porn legend Ron Jeremy is at Cedars-Sinai with a major aneurysm being rushed into surgery as we speak.

For many of us, Ron Jeremy represents the dream that any man can bag 1,000 ladies while eating a cheeseburger if they just smile and act confident and don't shave their backs.

Godspeed, Ron Jeremy.

Lindsay Lohan Turns Down Over Half Mill to Appear on ‘Dancing With the Stars’

Apparently, Lindsay Lohan just wants to be a movie star. And, what with the grade school thespianic performance in Liz & Dick, along with the rumored to be unwatchable, if not illegible, The Canyons, maybe or maybe not appearing on screen, who can blame the budding film powerhouse.

Hence, according to our friends at TMZ, despite being way behind on rent and taxes, not to mention having to dig into her pocket for yayo change, Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $555K offer to appear on Dancing with the Stars, because she 'doesn't do reality'.

I guess everybody has their line in the sand, or lines on the mirror. 

Kate Upton Bikini Pictures Melt the Antarctic; You Really Must See These

Photo credit: TMZ

I'm not exactly sure how SI convinced super boobtastic blonde bombshell Kate Upton to strip down to her bikini skivvies along the Antarctic for a freezing cold photoshoot, and, I don't care. I just care that she said, 'Yes'.

Our friends at TMZ have exclusive pictures of Kate Upton bikini pictures at 35-Degrees Below Zero; you'd be an ice-blockhead if you did not check these out. Enjoy.

 

Selena Gomez Awakens from Evil Spell; Dumps The Devil’s Midget!

Somebody up there, or, somebody in the head of our belusted Selena Gomez, finally got it right, as Selena called it quits with her teen lesbian boyfriend, due to 'scheduling conflicts', which we can only assume translates to Selena finally becoming tired of hanging out with an annoying, pompous, self-indulgent spoiled little twit with little artistic talent beyond having stylish hair.

Read about the Selena Gomez-Justin Bieber breakup on TMZ.