My Pennsylvania Common Law wife Abigail Ratchford and her Britty brunette hot model friend Rosie Roff hosted a celebration of the Mexican victory over France at the Battle of La Puebla in the 19th century. Go figure. They brought along their sextastic cohort Jazelle Morales to complete the trio of busty alluring brunettes working their Hollywood hostess magic like no other.
Now, I could lament the fact that this was another happening hot girl party in my own town where I was suspiciously and quite hurtfully not invited. But since I happened to begin my Cinco de Mayo celebrations on Tres de Mayo and didn’t become conscious again until Siete de Mayo, I can only cry so much over spilled horchata. See how I did that? However, if the racktastic delights of Abigail, Rosie, and Jazelle ever get together again in their showy dresses with busty goodness and exclude me, I shall cry as a child who has lost his lollipop, because that’s pretty much a spot-on metaphor. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Twist Photo
The Met Gala is quickly approaching the Oscars in terms of the A-list celebrity hotties decked out in $20,000 dresses and even more so in terms of daring to bare some serious skin. In fact, I’m close to saying it’s better. New York high fashion does demand some very revealing gowns, starting with Kendall Jenner baring some serious side boob, Jennifer Lopez looking almost quite nekkid, Kim Kardashian and Beyonce battling in see-through booty dresses, and dozens of other smoking hot sextastics in plunging cleavage and hot skin reveals.
Now, the Met Gala may be just another fancy event whose invitation obviously got stolen from my mailbox, but it’s perhaps the finest. Next year, I’m renting a tux from the Men’s Wearhouse and making my way onto the red carpet. I promise to take good pictures. This lineup of crazy hot women in these showy gowns deserve some cellphone camera work. I’ll do my best. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Splash/PacificCoastNews/INF/FameFlynet
Cannuckian model Danielle Knudson isn’t just good looking, she’s wicked hot. She’s making my maple sap run like you wouldn’t believe. We don’t get to see her super often, but when we do, it’s always memorable. None more so perhaps than this epic swimsuit exhibitionist photoshoot from Cameron Hammond. Just simply outstanding bits of torrid visual wonderment, the likes only mother nature can truly provide. It’s sort of your obligation now to stare agape and dream.
Oh, my, Danielle, I think you just cured my cold, though I’m pretty sure that was preferable to the blue and aching bobos that came next. Life really is about trade-offs. I’d love to trade anything I could for five minutes alone in a dark closet with Danielle Knudson playing a game of nekkid Rock, Paper, Scissors. Okay, fine, she’s Canadian, so Rochambeau. I’m stone. I just always am. So damn hot, Danielle. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Cameron Hammond
Whoa, baby, this is the good stuff. The great stuff. The faptastic… well, you get the idea. I have no idea from whence these Charlotte McKinney
photos originate, but I can tell you that they put a dead stop to my day as I formulated a plan to be alone with them for just a good long while. The fire alarm did the trick. I’m not suggesting you follow my lead, though I should say it did work.
Charlotte McKinney is on some kind or rapid upward sextastic trajectory especially since her Carl’s Jr. Super Bowl commercial. Have crazy hot body and long blonde hair will travel. She has all the tools of something special and the toolbox in which to store them. That metaphor makes no sense, but I’m still dizzy, cut me some slack. I just need that damn boat and she could be mine, in theory, like the theory that the earth was flat. I remain hopeful. She is so blessedly alluring. Man, those lucky lucky hands. Enjoy.
** Bonus Picture not to be missed from this set available only on EgotasticSnap our new Snapchat channel **
Photo Credit: The Hundreds
Cobie Smulders showed some serious sideboobage action in this photoshoot for Women’s Health Magazine. I guess it’s promoting breast health, which we are all about here at Egotastic. We love boobies too much. Cobie has got an extremely hot rack. In fact, the only reason I ever watched that mediocre How I met Your Mother show, (yeah, I said it), was so that I could ogle her in tight sweaters. If I was that sad sack Ted I would have fallen for her too. She’s got that whole hot girl that lives across the street that you are too scared to ask out on a date thing down pat. I hear she’s pretty cool from some friends that worked on the aforementioned show. I bet she’d be down to clown.
But I digress. What I do know is that I miss seeing her every week. Some network please hire her soon and dress her in tight sweaters for us all.
Photo Credit: Women’s Health Magazine
Pixie Lott may have a silly name but you know what isn’t silly? Her boobs. She was wearing a very revealing top in London that showed some major sideboob. I mean MAJOR. She’s got an excellent pair of yabbos that are nice and perky. She also had a bit of a slip when her boob glue came undone. This allowed us an even better view of her funbag profile. I don’t pretend to understand the physics of boob glue nor do I understand how it stays in place. Magic, I guess. All I know is that it usually means that there is some low-cut or sideboobage action about to happen. It’s like the harbinger of boob happenings.
It says on her Wikipedia page that she’s an actress. I wonder if she does nude scenes…
Photo Credit: INF/PacificCoastNews/FameFlynet
Sexy vixen Suki Waterhouse showed off her considerable assets in these behind the scenes shots for her spread in GQ. Suki has some serious bazumbas and they look fantastic in a plain white t-shirt or bikini top. They are versatile that way. They look particularly good in a shirt if there is no bra underneath. Then you get some serious nip poppin’ action. But the best pics are the one with her in a revealing red shirt in which you get a nice view of her luscious sideboob. The gods created sideboobage of that magnitude that we may marvel at their tit-anic powers. All of these pics also feature her long luxurious legs as well. What I wouldn’t give to have those badboys wrapped around me in the morning.
And maybe I can get my wish. She’s newly single and nursing a broken heart only Papa J can fix.
Photo Credit: GQ