Cleavage Posts:

Nicki Minaj and Her Mighty Boobtastic Asstastic Combo-Pak Host a Pool Party in Vegas

If you boob it, they will come.

It's casino pool club opening season in Las Vegas, which means plenty of celebrities picked to pimp the shizz out of holiday events at places like the Aria, where Nicki Minaj brought her booty and ample cleavage to convince visitors to take a dip in the hotel pools. They used to be just pools, now they are beach clubs, which makes no sense, but it does allow drinks to be super expensive, albeit, you do get to drink while ogling Nicki Minaj's ta-ta's for a solid ten minutes. You can't really put a price on that. Though, if you could, I'd say the $20 cocktail charge is about right.

Nicki, you look mighty fine. I would personally love to swim in your deep end if you know what I'm saying. Wow, horrible pun. Enjoy.

Joanna Krupa Deep Cleavage At OK Magazine ‘So Sexy’ Event in LA

Polish model and reality TV star Joanna Krupa was...well...so sexy at OK Magazine's 'So Sexy' event in Los Angeles. Joanna wore a top that was basically a glorified bra. There was cleavage galore with its plunging neckline. Her amazing rack looked incredible. If only there were a way to make these pictures 3D so we could get the real effect of seeing them in person. Technology isn't there yet, but I'm sure some pervy sciency dudes are working on solving the 3D boob picture on the internet problem. Since the top was so small there is also some pretty spectacular bare-midriff action going on. Her stomach and back are the very definition of 'keeping it tight'. It's no surprise seeing as she does all that Dancing With The Stars stuff. That crap is hard work. That's one of the reasons I avoid dancing if I can. That and my having no sense of rhythm. Basically I look like a stomping Frankenstein's monster.

I bet Joanna is good though. She looks like the type of gal that has an innate sense of rhythm, if you know what I mean. Wait...what do I mean?

Alessandra Ambrosio Cleavy Goodness at Cannes Fancy Pants Party

My yacht was not quite ready to set sail this year for Cannes, so I had to leave the big parties of the season up to my fellow rich men of the sea like Roberto Cavalli, who has the added advantage of having the world's hottest models on speed dial on his phone. I have Pizza Hut. We are not super dissimilar. Still, when Cavalli calls, you come. And you look amazing, as did Alessandra Ambrosio the minute she stepped onto the designer's yacht in her low cut cleavetastic gown. I'm guessing he made it or something.

Alessandra Ambrosio has looked wicked crazy MILFtastic for as long as I can remember. Even when she's forced to put on clothes as for this upscale yacht party, she still manages to compel men to take cold showers for fear of public uncomfortability. Alessandra, Cannes 2015 I'm expecting you in something even more revealing when the S.S. Egotastic pulls into dock. Look for the desperate guy in a dinghy rowing his little heart out for you. Enjoy.

Eiza Gonzalez Is Pretty Damn Alluring in Her Little Open Dress

Yes, you have to put on the fake smile and seem like you really want to be hanging with Mario Lopez when you visit Extra to pimp your project, but there's nothing fake about how alluring and hot Eiza Gonzalez looked in her loose and open top dress when she hit the show to promote From Dusk Till Dawn. Her legs on display were a lovely complement to her cleavage reveal, the entire visual package made it almost worth watching the show Extra.

I didn't know too much about Eiza Gonzalez before she stole Miley's fiancee for a few weeks of intense shtupping. Can't say I blame him given how much I'd give up for the same opportunity. She really is quite the fetching young Latina lady. Somedays I guess it's good to be Mario Lopez. But not that many. Enjoy.

Paris Hilton Cleavage Always Feels at Home in Cannes

The South of France really is like a home away from home for Billionaire Barbie whose various professions and shopping trips often take her the Cannes and the surrounding Riviera beach towns. It's not often we see Paris with this many clothes on in fact, but when she's off the clock I suppose some deference must be made for modesty, though not so much as to not flash her pumped up cleavage to the good people of France who revere her as a very silly god.

As always I must say this for Paris, she's always put together and she always seems somewhere fun. Not every heiress can say that, though I guess many can. Still, I can divorce my jealous from my wanton desire to stare at her supported yams as she moves from party to party in Cannes. And there are a lot of parties. Go Barbie, Go. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Shows Cleavage At Upfronts Event in NYC

Kim Kardashian was very upfront and the upfronts in NYC. The boobtacular star of Keeping Up With The Kardashians sported a top with a plunging neckline that showed off all of the cleav. The event was the upfront for the various TV networks that include E!, which runs her show. An upfront is a spectacle that the various networks put on to show off their programming schedule for potential sponsors. I have no doubt that any advertiser that caught sight of Kim's double D's immediately purchased giant chunks of ad space. My luck is that I worked in the uplink truck at this event for the rehearsal but not for the main show, so I missed seeing Kim's funbags in person. Does that seem fair to you? Because it doesn't to me.

It's difficult to say which parts of Kim Kardashian are the most spectacular. Times like these in which her ta-tas are out make me think it's her bosoms but then there is that magical booty. Luckily, I don't have to choose just one.

Lea Michele Bares Her Boobtastic With Nipple Slips and Deep Deep Cleavage at Fox Upfronts

It's hard not to see a pattern here with Lea Michele. I mean, a sextastic exhibitionist chestal region pattern. First, she almost flashed the entire kid world at her Oz animated movie premiere, now she's not actually contained at all up top in her revealing outfit to the Fox Upfronts where advertisers and affiliates get to see Lea's funbags talk excitedly about the upcoming season of Glee.

I'm quite certain I'd sign on for whatever knowing the effort Lea put into her wardrobe. I'm assuming she's wearing some kind of protection to keep her otherwise slipping nipples from poking somebody's eyes out, which is unfortunate, because a full topless reveal might be good for her show. I know it would do me some good. Lea, we are getting so so close. Enjoy.