Kendall Jenner, Alessandra Ambrosio, And Bella Thorne Lead Pack of Show Off Desert Hotties at Coachella Weekend One

The first rule of sextastic celebrity attendance at Coachella, dress like you once saw your parents in a hippy picture. Only do so from designer stores. Second rule, show lots of skin, because it’s the desert and it’s a concert and there are cameras everywhere. The third rule has to do with making out with your boyfriend ever hour but that rule we ignore here on Egotastic because it pains me to see this bevy of beauties being ravished by anyone other than me.

Say what you will about the music lineup and the sweaty packed masses in the general admissions area, the VIP swank brings out the Tinsel Town hotties everywhere, this year including Kendall Jenner, Bella Thorne, Alessandra Ambrosio, Fergie, Sarah Hyland, Paris Hilton, and many more. I’m not physically able to endure ten dollar bottled waters and the sight of ten thousand men in bandanas so I have had to put Coachella on hold, but if I ever score myself a pass to that important hotties persons only section, I’m igniting the Egotastic! blimp and heading for Indio. The sights, oh, the sights. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Hailey Baldwin Cleavy In Lingerie for Dutch Treats

Hailey Baldwin continues her romp down the show-off yellow brick road, now that she’s hit eighteen and is an official full time model with a part time side of partying. The Baldwin daughter is now appearing in international magazines, including this lingerie inspired cleavage baring spread in L’Officiel in The Netherlands. She certainly looks comfortable sharing shots of her nubile body, which is good, since this is her chosen profession, likely to last all the way until 23, the age of model retirement.

Hailey Baldwin joins the up and coming barrage of Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid in terms of next-gen celebrity exhibitionists taking the world of fashion and style and long lean bodies by teenaged storm. A changing of the guards if you will. Certainly the right time to polish one’s bishop, you know, just for propriety sake. We expect to see more of you in the near future, Hailey. Much much more. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: L’Officiel Netherlands

Sofia Vergara In A Bathtub For Vanity Fair

Latina sex goddess Sofia Vergara shows off why she’s famous in this boobtacular spread for Vanity Fair. Sweet Lord, thank you for Sofia’s cleavage! It’s seriously glorious. I would put Sofia’s knockers against any other boobs around and they would win hands down every time. Just look at the plump voluptuousness of her sideboob in the pic where she’s lying down with a dog on her back. Glorious. Then there is the pic where she’s in the tub with some strategically placed bubbles. Not only can you see her sideboob, and a hint of nip, but you also can see her impressive booty and thighs. Every woman in the world with any sense would sell their soul for that butt.

Maybe it’s the Latin man in me, but I think Sofia Vergara is the hottest woman on TV. Like, seriously, no one compares.

Photo Credit: Annie Leibovitz For Vanity Fair

Katie Nehra Cleavy For The Premiere Of “Alex Of Venice”

Hottie McHottiepants Katie Nehra wore what amounts to a bunch of ribbons to the premiere of “Alex of Venice”. Seriously, she just put some strips of cloth over her jubblies. The result is some killer cleav. Katie has a nice set of perkies that look incredible when on display like this. There is a hint, just a hint, of underboob as well. You can also get an eyeful of her fantastic toned bare mid-riff. She finishes off the look with a TIGHT pair of pants. These accentuate her perfect shapely booty, thighs, and legs. While I usually stay away from indie movies like “Alex of Venice” I think I might have to suck it up and go to the local art house to check it out. Just in case she’s naked.

I encourage other sexy ladies like Katie to take a cue from her and just wear ribbons. What more do you want? Your nipples are covered aren’t they?

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Barbara Fialho Sextastic In Lacy Lingerie

Ooooh, Barbara Fialho. You are one of my favorite up and coming models and it’s easy to see why. She’s simply effing breathtaking. She’s got a gorgeous face but that’s only the start of the delights. She’s also got a beautiful pair of ta-tas. They are seriously the perfect size. They are just big enough to fill a grown man’s hand. I have to believe that this fact is not an accident but is the design of a boob loving creator. Is there anything sexier than a woman like Barbara in lingerie? I think not. As good as your woman might look in lingerie, she doesn’t look like Barbara. Unless you are having sex with Barbara Fialho in which case I friggin’ hate you for your bounty.

What I do know is that I never get tired of looking at her. In fact, I think I might stare at these pics for another hour.

Photo Credit: Next Lingerie

Heidi Klum Major Cleavage Show For “America’s Got Talent” Season 10 Red Carpet

Teutonic beauty Heidi Klum showed off her mighty jugs at a red carpet event for America’s Got Talent. Heidi was sporting a semi see-through dress with a deep plunging neckline. The result was some mondo cleavage action. I’ve been a fan of Heidi’s schnitzels since back in the day when she graced the pages of the Victoria’s Secret catalog when I was in high school. That’s a twenty year love affair that will last forever. As if all of that boobage wasn’t enough, Heidi’s dress was also hella short, which meant that you got a good long look at those famous legs. Heidi has got that classical tall model thing going and most of that is her long, luscious legs. She’s the kind of woman that only gets better with age like a fine wine.

Admiring Heidi’s sexiness was the only thing that got me through being forced to watch several seasons of Project Runway. But it was worth it to see her amazing cleav and legs. Sometimes you have to sacrifice.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/PacificCoastNews

Sarah Hyland Cleavetastic Top, Tight Jeans Bottom, A Little Bit of Promenading Perfection

Sarah Hyland, minxy hottie, where have you been all my life, or at least the last few months we’ve not seen much of you. I suppose something silly like working or hanging out with a new boyfriend or such. But, oh, how these eyes have missed your petite cleavetastic goodness.

We caught sight of Sarah strutting down the boulevards of Hollywood in some fine tight jeans and one perfectly bosom cleft baring top. Just as I’d remembered Sarah in my dreams of this past Thursday, Tuesday, also last Wednesday through Sunday. I have a lot of them. Just look at her tight little body and tell me your REM sleep isn’t being visited by such a little lovely vision. Sarah, you’re a sight for these sore eyes and other various sore and chaffed sensory organs. Just such a looker. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews