Cleavage

Jennifer Lopez Deep Picture Perfect Cleavage at People Magazine Awards

How in the heck does Jennifer Lopez keep getting hotter and hotter and her funbags more and more perfect with age? I’m quite certain she’d have to kill me if she told me, albeit I’d accept the penalty of death if my last meal were verifying the taste of her sweet Latina melons. Yes, I did just say that

Jennifer owned the red carpet at the People Magazine awards last night, an event you probably don’t care too much about because you’re not currently a 40-year old woman in a hair salon. But, as with most of these silly award shows and slaps on the collective Hollywood backs, plenty of fine ladies came out, none finer or more passion inducing than Jennifer. Maybe I’m biased because I dream nightly of Jenny from the Block practicing How Low Can You Go dance moves above my gaping maw, but how can you not love a woman flashing epic fine cleavage at forty-five like Jenny? I’m going to need more towels. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News

Maitland Ward as Sexy Santa Is Oh, So Sweet and Cleavy Pokey

There isn’t a single event in Hollywood where Maitland Ward and her sweet curves aren’t a welcome sight. Tis the season for wonderful shows of Sexy Santa costumes for girls like Maitland who bring their own Santa’s bag of tricks with them everywhere they go. If you need something to put you into the holiday spirit, just stare deeply into that racktastic bit of wonderment.

Christmas really is my favorite time of the year, in no small part thanks to how sextastic elves and Santa’s helpers have taken over the holiday by sheer force of being amazing looking. Maitland Ward is most definitely a North Pole treat that will leave you feeling the tug of gravity around your Southern Pole. That innuendo wasn’t even hardly veiled. Job well done, Maitland. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News / GSI

Alyssa Barbara Big Bodacious Yum Yums in Lace Lingerie


Oh, Canada, how you do deliver in pressing times. Or pulling times. Pressing and pulling I suppose when it comes to the most common reactions to seeing Canuckian alluring model Alyssa Barbara posing in lingerie for your viewing pleasure. Other common reactions include drooling, low frequency moans, and the desire to eat many oysters chased with Scotch.

I’m not sure if it’s the epic boobtastic or the fine rear in lacy little things, but I suddenly feel inspired to song. It’s kind of a dirty limerick more than a song and would get me slapped in most proper established. But such is the poetry in men inspired by the fairest of the finer gender. Alyssa, you are just doing wonderfully horrible things to my gray matter at the moment. I suppose that was the point. Job well done. So hot. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Alyssa Barbara

Charli XCX Deep Cleavage Nipple Pokes Hotness at 103.5 KISS FM’s Jingle Ball 2014 Backstage

Boobtacular pop princess Charli XCX was busting out of her cleavtastic jumpsuit at 103.5 KISS FM’s Jingle Ball. This thing had a plunging neckline that left little to the imagination. Charli has a pretty spectacular rack made all the better by her penchant for showing it off. It must have been chilly there because there was definitely some nipple pokeage going on that night. Some people criticize these young girl singers for being hyper sexualized. I say it’s a good thing. There is nothing wrong with young ladies looking up to girls that happen to dress in little to no clothes. Feminism doesn’t mean being frumpy.

I wonder how I snag an invite to next year’s Jingle Ball? It was a veritable schmorgasbord of hotties. I’d like to eat at that buffet table of sexiness.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Does Paris Hilton Have Upgraded Funbags?

I don’t know. Bra technology being what it is today, sadly, advanced I suppose, it’s sometimes hard to tell in this pushed up, scrunched up, so-called magic lifting bosom engineering age what is real and what is not real and what is really really not real. That’s so confusing. I mostly just like to watch.

Billionaire Barbie has most definitely been showing off some super bigger cleavage this week in London, venturing out to hotspots in the evening, specifically making brilliant note of her improved bust line. Paris has always been considered the au natural, lithesome model type, but then again, a solid percentage of Tinsel Town darlings have had some augmentation. The streets of downtown Beverly Hills are lined with plastic surgeon’s offices and coffee shops and not everybody drinks coffee. Just saying, there’s more chestal square inches than we’re used to seeing. Not that this is a bad thing. Paris, I’m just happy you’re happy. Enjoy.

Daphne Joy Red Hot Cleavage at Toys For Tots Project Ethos Fashion Show Charity Event

Daphne Joy and her boobs were in the mood to give back at the Toys for Tots Project Ethos Fashion Show charity event. Toys and money are great presents during the holiday season, but ta-tas are the gift that keeps on giving. Daphne was wearing a LOW cut red hot dress that showed off her luscious funbags. Daphne has got some of the most spectacular chest puppies in the boob game today. They are like a pair of ripe honeydew melons but that I want to motorboat rather than eat. It’s important to remember those less fortunate at this time of year, namely those ladies that aren’t as lucky as Daphne to be so well endowed. If Santa really wanted to up his game he’d give out breast implant certificates.

In the meantime, I’m going to ask Santa to bring me more bikini pics of Daphne. Maybe a nip slip. Whatever you can do, Santa.

Photo Credit: GSI / Splash News

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Hot in Harper’s

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, thy name is elegance. Also hot sextastic drooling catatonic goodness, leaning more toward the latter.

Rosie found her way into Australia’s Harper’s Bazaar magazine because she’s particularly good looking and has a stellar fine body. Those would be your qualifications, along with photographing well, natural.. Which she does. She’s something of a stunner, with some sweet natural funbags that might need a little attention. Granted, the need may be mostly on my side. The point is, I’d be willing to beg something fierce. Never underestimate the female emotion of sympathy. It is their only known weakness. Add tears and you are golden. There is no bottom to my shame well. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Harper Bazaar Magazine