Halle Berry Cleavy In A Low Cut Tank Top Filming ‘Extant’

I can’t remember the exact storyline of Extant. I think Halle Berry is an astronaut who circles Mars or something and returns to earth pregnant. Freaky. Until you realize I was tagging alongs for the ride in the capsule and Halle and I made many many babies. Sorry, spoiler alert.

Whatever the plot, Halle Berry brought her sweet berries to play on the set, in a slow cut top to allow her veteran hot funbags a breath of fresh air. More miraculous than immaculate alien conception is how Halle Berry and her put together body manage to stay so put together and alluring year after year. One of those blessed with natural gifts. Or perhaps alien? Stay tuned. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Fame Flynet

Heidi Klum Launches Her Lingerie Collection In NYC

Teutonic beauty Heidi Klum was looking cleavy and confident at the launch of her new lingerie line. No longer will she be strutting around showing off other people’s underwear, no sir. Now she’s the one holding the garter belt. Heidi was wearing a white sexy suit thing that was cut way low. The result is that you get a nice peek at those legendary funbags. There is some cleav for the ages going on here. I’ve been a big fan of Heidi’s boobage since back in the day when she appeared in the pages of the Victoria’s Secret catalog that would arrive at my house growing up. I always did enjoy looking at those righteous melons. Then later when my wife made me watch Project Runway, I always hoped Heidi would be skimpily dressed. She rarely disappointed.

Maybe she’ll model all of her lingerie herself. That would be epic.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Victoria Justice Looks Wicked Hot at Magazine Launch Party

If there’s one thing I’ve been clamoring for, it’s a cutting edge youth focused unisex fashion and style magazine. I mean, really, the wait has been forever. Somebody started Kode magazine so non-gender specific scarves could be pimped properly to young style obsessed urbanites with a credit line from their parents. Now, the world is complete. Well, not officially until they invited Victoria Justice to cover their magazine and be the red carpet hottie highlight for their launch party. Wow, Victoria Just looked several thousand shades of amazing.

I’ve been deeply in lust with this prim and proper brunette since the days I first laid peeps upon her and surmised she likely had the body of Athena hidden beneath her G-rated exterior. We’ve yet to properly confirm such suspicions, a circumstance which has cause all my emoticon smiley faces to begin frowning. But I hope to rectify this situation soon. Just seeing Victoria in a busty sparkly outfit with those naturally alluring looks of hers, I can’t hardly wait for more. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/PacificCoastNews

Selena Gomez Side Boob Sextastic for New Boyfriend Music Video

It seems like Selena Gomez made it through the worm hole of The Devil’s Midget and come out the other side healed, or at least largely unscathed, and ready to resume her appropriate role in the sextastic celebrity circle of life. In her new music video made with some dude I’ve never heard of who I believe is her new squeeze, our heavily belusted Latina shows off all-kinds of delicious side boob, as if an omen of all the great things to come now that she’s off her yoke of emotional oppression. I’m probably reading into it too much. I just want to sound a little bit profound as I leer endlessly at Selena’s funbags.

Life is as simple or as complicated as you want to make it. Different strokes for different folks. I’ll limit my former to simply passion inducing chest peeks of my sweet Selena. That and a cold beverage is my bucket list. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Zedd Ft Selena Gomez “I Want You To Know”

Jessica Burciaga Side Boob, Ashely Tisdale Bikini Top, and Stella Hudgens Killer Booty Headline the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

The more parents warn their children not to post their pictures on social media, well, the absolutely skyrockets in flight better it’s going to get. Silly parents. Don’t you realize how uncool you are by your very job description. Young hot celebrities, don’t trust anybody over 30, save for your Uncle Bill. I will never steer you wrong. Right now, I want to steer your toward even more showy social media candids. Not that you need much prodding. This just keeps getting better and better.

This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes the likes of Ashley Tisdale in a bikini top, Stella Hudgens, Vanessa’s little sister, showing off her stellar late teen thumper, Katherine Heigl in a red bikini, Carmen Electra in a killer bikini, Jessica Burciaga showing so much sideboob I want to weep, and much more. You owe it to that girl who knows nothing about basketball who is still going to beat you in the office March Madness bracket pool to check out each and every one of these many social media self-published goodies. You will thank me later. Hopefully, with shiny beads. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Madonna Cleavage Show In Out Magazine

I’m not sure what it’s supposed to mean that Madonna is showing off her mature teats in leather and laying on what might be a floor as seen through cracked glass. As first I thought maybe it was a candid from that moment a couple weeks ago when she tumbled to the floor during her British concert. But this seems to be staged entirely for Out magazine, which based on the title presumably cares less about Madge’s boobtastic than I do, but probably much more about deep and foreboding themes.

I don’t understand art. I don’t let it bother me anymore. When I was younger I used to feel less than whole when lying to a girl about which painting I loved more in a gallery show. Now, I feel mostly numb when doing the exact same thing. Hey, I can’t dunk a basketball either. Not like I spend my days wallowing in my combined lack of height and vertical leap. Growing up isn’t about getting better, it’s about carling less about the things you’re simply never going to improve. I think Madonna herself gets that. That’s why she’s still pulling the breasts in bondage look well into her mid-50′s. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Out Magazine

Nicki Minaj Almost Spills Out Of Her Dress While Shooting A New Music Video In LA

Nicki Minaj was practically falling out of her skin tight dress while shooting her new music video. The singer/mother of my future children was wearing a dress that was cut WAY low. Like, just north of the nips low. Nicki has bot a magnificent pair of chi chis. They are big and beautiful and I for one would like to give them a squeeze. But I resist the urge because that’s how you end up in prison. No, I would rather wait for the day when Nicki spots me at some fancy Hollywood party and asks me to touch her ta-tas in the broom closet. And I will comply because I am a gentleman and I won’t like to disappoint a lady.

This is my big plan. I’ve been planning it for years. Now I just need to get an invite to a big Hollywood party.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Splash