Cleavage Posts:

Kim Kardashian Deep Big and Blue Boobs Steal the Show at Sister’s Birthday

You know how these things go. Don't invite your sister Kim if you want to be the center of attention at your own birthday party. As with any Kardashian personal event, Khloe's 30th birthday proved to be a TV exploitable event for the entire family, including Kim Kardashian who showed off her mammoth mammaries to ensure every paparazzi camera within ten miles of the Isle of Manhattan was trained on her chest. If you got it, flaunt it, baby. I'm sure Khloe wasn't happy, but then her personal wishes have to be sacrificed for the betterment of the entire gentleman ogling community which got two acres of Kim rack in the exchange.

I've never been a sister, or a girl, except occasionally in my dreams. I'm guessing this kind of upstaging does not go unnoticed. I know I noticed it. I suppose Kim will tell her little sister, hey, I can't help it, this is just how I was drawn. And she may just be right. Enjoy.

Dakota Fanning Butt Gate, It Was All Just a Dream

So, it turns out that the Dakota Fanning white pale booty as seen in Very Good Girls that I was replicating in marble in my living room was completely CGI phony. First, damn you technology, damn you straight to hell! Second, c'mon Dakota Fanning. I want to want you, but that is some weak sauce. A digitally re-composed butt? I'm sure your dumper is plenty fine, I know it is, even if not perfect. It's one thing when you sort of let everybody talk about how you're nekkid in the movie for the first time, then it turns out you're really just talking about from behind and your cheeks, then it turns out those cheeks are virtual fill-ins. Honestly, I don't know what to believe in any more. I suppose this is both the blessing and the curse of the modern digital age. I'm trying to sound reasonable, but I am most definitely seething on the inside. I might need to punch some ice cream.

Here's a shot of Dakota's deep cleavage from the same film. I assume they are real. I mean, I hope so. This is what happens when the innocence ends.

(Sort of thanks to the many of you who forwarded this Dakota Fanning fake butt confession piece from earlier this year.)

Nicola Peltz Wears A Low Cut Dress On Jimmy Kimmel Live

Nicola Peltz dropped by Jimmy Kimmel Live in a dress with a plunging neckline. She was there to plug the latest Transformers movie but the only Optimus Primes anyone noticed were in her shirt. The dress is basically open to her stomach giving a nice view of some cleavetacular action. Nicola has a seriously awesome rack, which is a prerequisite for starring in a Transformers film. The dress was also both short and had a slit that went most of the way up her thighs. She's got a pretty epic set of legs as well. They are long and nicely toned. I'll be honest, I skipped the last couple of Transformers movies. But I can now see that I've made a huge mistake. I can put up with some Michael Bay silliness if I get to look at Nicola.

I'm surprised they let her go on in that outfit. Boobies tend to scare uptight people in the flyover states.

Munn-Tastic! Olivia Munn Cleavy and Back to Girl Next Door Hotness at Deliver Us from Evil Premiere

Olivia Munn comes in and out of our lives like an old girlfriend who we can't shake. Only, she never was our girlfriend and we never got to nibble on her toes after sex like we always imagined. Maybe that was before sex, as it's hard for me to imagine doing anything but watching a ball game after. Still, the Olivia Munn allure was so strong for so many years, it felt like we really had something there. Then Olivia went off to network television and a couple horrible movies and we had to take a break. She just looked frazzled and tired and not in the lost weekend good kind of way.

Olivia has since returned with full throttle sextastic, including her cleavy red carpet winning appearance for the premiere of Deliver Us from Evil. I'm sure the film is awesome, though I can't say I remember hearing about it, but not nearly as eye-popping as Olivia in a low cut top that really wouldn't take much effort to lower even further. If only my telekinetic powers weren't currently being restrained by a cadmium shield placed around my brain by the government. I'm pretty sure that happened. Or maybe this throbbing is just a hangover. In any case, Olivia, let's reconnect. You can be the girl next door and I can be the ruffian you fool around with to make your daddy angry. Enjoy.

Lady Gaga Deep Cleavage for Manhattan Weekend Stroll

Oh, sure, there are mixed reactions to Lady Gaga when she makes all those silly magazine top hotties lists. One reason I detest superlative lists. It's all so very personal. I wouldn't step on some dude's Lady Gaga fantasy and more than I'd want somebody else to tell me why my desire to sleep with every now grown up actress from Little House on the Prairie is wrong. And, as always, I must say for Lady Gaga, like her or not, she's another one of the women who have raised the bar on public exhibitionism of the female body.

You can hate on her and Miley and Rihanna, but these women have shown more skin on and off the air than almost the entirety of pop music divas before them. And if you don't think that doesn't have an effect on the community at large in terms of stepping up and showing off, you haven't been on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram lately. All those fears the pearl clutchers have of young women emulating their salacious heroes absolutely do come true. Thankfully. There is more skin being shown these days than ever before, at all levels, from major celebrity on down. This is a good thing. Lady Gaga and her mostly exposed funbags deserve some credit in this regard. Enjoy.

Miranda Kerr Is Sexy As Hell In The Edit Magazine

Aussie model and professional hot person Miranda Kerr is a vision of boobtacular glory in this shoot for The Edit Magazine. It's a biker themed spread so it involves her looking sexy in a variety of leather outfits while straddling motorcycles. Is there anything hotter than a beautiful girl, leather in warm weather, and a high-horsepower bike? Possibly, but I'm at a loss right now to think of what it could be. The cleavage, my friends. It's nothing short of mind boggling. Miranda Kerr has some of the best ta-tas in the business and it is my job to know these things. If I could drive a motorcycle like the guy in Grease 2 I would give her the ride of her life. Yes, I made a reference to Grease 2. Michelle Pfeiffer was seriously hot in that movie.

The only problem I see with Miranda riding around with her boobies hanging out is that they would cause wind drag and make it hard to get up to top speed. I guess that's not the point, is it?

Kim Kardashian Is Cleavtacular In New York City

Newlywed Kim Kardashian flashed some serious cleav in a revealing top in New York City. And I mean revealing. The thing is split almost to her navel allowing a full view of the sides of those famous funbags. The seam is just to the side of her nips. I respect Kim for having the guts to walk around New York with her lovelies hanging out. She is comfortable in her own skin and doesn't mind showing off some of that skin. Or a lot of it. That Kanye West is one lucky dude. Not only is he a gajillionare, he gets to come back to those lovely lady mounds every night. Some guys get all the breaks.

I don't know how I didn't see this cleavage from my apartment in Brooklyn. If I can see the Empire State Building from my street I should have been able to spot Kim's cleavage in Manhattan, right?