bill-swift - October 10, 2012
Back in middle school the most popular girl in school, the perfectly Nordic formed beauty Anna Spanx hosted a Power Rangers makeout party and made a publicly dramatic gesture about handing out invitations to the chosen few, though not so few that it seemed like the entire homeroom class, less yours truly, received her precious pink folded note card invitation. Scorned by the obvious exclusion, I finally found the recently descended sack to confront the gorgeous young Anna about my omission from her popularity party list. She was a blunt girl, being both very pretty and rather lacking in intellectual faculties. Anna informed me that she didn't invite me because it was creepy how I was always trying to peek down her top at her burgeoning female developments and that she didn't want me around all her friends at her party. I took the news rather hard, if for no other reason than to discover I was not as sly a peeker as I had previously thought. Despite my designation as socially unacceptable, Anna was ultimately a very practical girl with solid understanding of her future and told me to meet her behind the science building at recess and for $5 she'd let me get a good long private gander. I'd call that a win for young Egotastic!
These old feelings boiled up again this past weekend as for some odd quirk of the vaunted U.S. Postal Service (R.I.P.), my invitation to the Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic never arrived, making me wonder if that golden ticket is even sent my way in the first place? But who would not want Egotastic! at an upscale event featuring the finest frocked ladies in town attending polo matches in fancy surroundings. I mean, it's not as if we're going to try to sneak up the proper formal dresses of the likes of Mandy Moore, Ali Larter, Kaley Cuoco, and Alessandra Ambrosio, all in attendance at the frou-frou event. It's middle school all over again, only these girls would charge much more than $5. Enjoy.
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