I do so lust Ali Larter, even as she has gone underground with her formerly revealing hot body. Now a conservative mom, it’s rare to see Ali out and about in anything less than conservative wardrobe, which is why my peepers peeped up to periscope depth when I saw Ali flashing a little bit of her blessed chestal regions out in Beverly Hills.
It’s not exactly a striptease show, but Ali Larter in a sheer see-through top and little hint of her cleavetastic, why, I’ll take that ride any day of the week. Or night. Ali Larter, we miss you dearly. Come back to us in full regalia soon. The world needs you now more than ever. Enjoy.
The Art of Elysium Gala really is one of the parties I don’t get invited to each January that irks me to no end. I’m kind, I’m considered, I’m well-mannered, and I have a 20% coupon for Tuxedo rental at the Men’s Wearhouse. I’m good to go on this type of gala, filled with mega-hotties like Nina Dobrev, Ali Larter, Jamie Lynn Sigler, and many many more. So why no invite?
I can’t only assume discrimination. A prejudice built up against me because maybe once or twice or thrice in the past I’ve been known to peek down guests low cut tops or up under dresses for my scientific research on panties colors. And, yes, there is the occasional untoward proposition of the ladies up to 80 years of age in attendance, but I assure you, that is almost entirely the fault of how alcohol interacts with my brain after the first seven beverages. I deserve an invite to the ball. I feel so Cinderella right now, still waiting on the fairy godmother though. Enjoy.
It’s been hot here in L.A the past few days, which if your A.C. machine is like mine and seems to pre-date the invention of freon, you just might be sweating. But in the silver lining department, the heat beckons the arrival of shorts skirts, for which we’ve been patiently waiting during the sub-80 degree months here we like to call Winter.
And, lo and behold, and behold down low, Ali Larter in a short little skirt, showing off her hot mommy legs and just a little cleave. Not sure we’ve seen Ali out in a short skirt since becoming a mom, but we hope she never changes (though if she does change, we would like to see that too, we are greedy).
Summer is here (at least around here) and the time is right for ogling in the streets. And you can count on us bringing the best of summer legs to you once again this year. Hit the Pilates ladies, this is definitely on. Enjoy.
Let’s be real. Moms make the holidays. The food, the presents, the decorations, paddleboarding Uncle Stu who goes off his low-carb diet at the Yuletide. Moms got it going on at Christmas.
And you know our fondness for all things hot mama, MILFtastic, and otherwise passion-inducing ladies who have experienced the miracle of childbirth, and whose gynecological exams we’d like to undertake without aid of medical instrument, or lights for that matter. Well, we figured Christmas time made perfect sense to celebrate sextastic mommies like Heidi Klum, Brooke Burke, Miranda Kerr, and so many other child-bearing hotties who give us the maternal chills all year long.
Check out our list and see if your Ay, Mami! favorite made the mommy cut.
Oh, sure, we here at Egotastic! may have the maternal instincts of a spider to her spiderlings, but we do lust, and genuinely adore, of young hot celebrity moms, a good gaggle of whom got together over the weekend for the Baby2Baby Gala in Los Angeles, which I’m sure is a great event for some great cause, but our cause was most definitely checking out MILFs like Jessica Alba, Ali Larter, and Nicole Richie, and wondering just how much cocktails each would need before offering to change our soiled diapers.
I mean, not that we’re into that kind of thing, but if Jessica Alba wanted to powder our bottoms, we’d say goo-goo and pucker our lips with pointed expressions of hunger, in the very least. Enjoy.
Back in middle school the most popular girl in school, the perfectly Nordic formed beauty Anna Spanx hosted a Power Rangers makeout party and made a publicly dramatic gesture about handing out invitations to the chosen few, though not so few that it seemed like the entire homeroom class, less yours truly, received her precious pink folded note card invitation. Scorned by the obvious exclusion, I finally found the recently descended sack to confront the gorgeous young Anna about my omission from her popularity party list. She was a blunt girl, being both very pretty and rather lacking in intellectual faculties. Anna informed me that she didn’t invite me because it was creepy how I was always trying to peek down her top at her burgeoning female developments and that she didn’t want me around all her friends at her party. I took the news rather hard, if for no other reason than to discover I was not as sly a peeker as I had previously thought. Despite my designation as socially unacceptable, Anna was ultimately a very practical girl with solid understanding of her future and told me to meet her behind the science building at recess and for $5 she’d let me get a good long private gander. I’d call that a win for young Egotastic!
These old feelings boiled up again this past weekend as for some odd quirk of the vaunted U.S. Postal Service (R.I.P.), my invitation to the Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic never arrived, making me wonder if that golden ticket is even sent my way in the first place? But who would not want Egotastic! at an upscale event featuring the finest frocked ladies in town attending polo matches in fancy surroundings. I mean, it’s not as if we’re going to try to sneak up the proper formal dresses of the likes of Mandy Moore, Ali Larter, Kaley Cuoco, and Alessandra Ambrosio, all in attendance at the frou-frou event. It’s middle school all over again, only these girls would charge much more than $5. Enjoy.
I’ve kind of been waiting to see Book of Mormon for a while now, we’ve heard nothing but good things about the Broadway show from the South Park creators, and I had tickets for the show this very week, but for my Uncle Salvatore, who isn’t really an uncle at all by any legal definition, shot part of his big toe off with a spear gun in a scuba equipment store and now I need to watch his dogs while he’s in surgery getting his iced digit sewn back on. You’d be surprised how often things like this happen in the family.
But, to live virtually through others, it’s not so bad, especially if those other Book of Mormon attendees are super hotties like Emmanuelle Chriqui, Maria Menounos, and Ali Larter, just three of the sextastic celebrities at the Book of Mormon premiere here in Los Angeles. Now, as much as I think I’d like this stage show, were I sitting betwixt these three ladies in the theater, I have a feeling it’d mostly be yawns and attempts at second base in the darkened theater for me, followed by the inevitable slap, arrest, and restraining orders. I have a box at home just to keep them all organized. Enjoy.